Freshman "Funds"

[Minnesota!]

Clearly, you think this means being judgemental and putting down anyone who thinks differently than you do.

That is not "wholesome" OR "moral" to me.

OP - I would say maybe $75/week...$300/month? Enough to get salad stuff, some chx, some fruit, some fish, some sides. Eggs, beans, cheese, veggies, etc. are pretty cheap. Can make most meals out of those.

 

[Southernmiss]

I find it difficult to believe what someone says now that they and their 10 and 8 year old will do with events that are 8-10 years away.

Life with a 18 year old is vastly different than life with a 8-10 year old. By 18they have their own lives and minds and opinions--which is a good thing.

When it comes to kids, never say never.

 

[marmalade]

I find it difficult to believe what someone says now that they and their 10 and 8 year old will do with events that are 8-10 years away.

Life with a 18 year old is vastly different than life with a 8-10 year old. By 18they have their own lives and minds and opinions--which is a good thing.

When it comes to kids., never say never

Great, now I have that song streaming through my head.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I really think that I am probably done with posting much around here. Apparently the dis just aren't my kind of people, I don't get most of you and you don't get me. In case anyone was trying to figure me out I'll save you the time that some have obviously spend looking into my dis past. Here it goes....

I am against drinking, drugs, smoking

I am against pre-marital sex, adultery, and homosexuality

I am for SAHMs

I am for letting your kids grow up and not overprotecting them from the world

I am against all the over the top safety gadgets that didn't exist 35 years ago when I was a kid and yet I survived, boosters for middle schoolers, bike helmets for little kids in the neighborhood (different story if you're a serious rider on busy roads, then you need a helmet. A 3 year old on a trike in the driveway, not so much!)

I am for raising dependable, self-reliant children, who take care of themselves

I am for having lots of fun along the way!!!

PS I did tell my DD she could join the military too, she has no interest No double standard!

What I bolded above is really where I shake my head. 50 years ago there were no seat belts - does that mean your kids are unrestrained in the car? No - why not - people lived without seatbelts years ago too. Your kids probably don't need to take the latest medicines either - after all you lived without them. No vaccines either? Since people used to live without them.

No one is suggesting wrapping kids in a bubble, but advances in safety help adults too! I wear a helmet as I ride along the lakefront. Just a smart thing to do.

 

[Southernmiss]

Great, now I have that song streaming through my head.

Didn't realize it was lyrics to a song.

 

[Tink-aholic]

Talk about "never say never"...I shudder to think about what would happen if one of her kids turns out to be gay.

 

[marmalade]

Didn't realize it was lyrics to a song.

I should have just highlighted the never say never part, it's the Justin Bieber song.

 

[luvmy3]

Honestly, I think this argument always comes down to whether or not you consider your children "adults" at age 18. I certainly don't' as far as the financial responsibility I feel for them is concerned. In almost all other matters - drinking, sex, relationships, study habits, etc. I let them make their own choices without involving me.

An 18 year old is a legal adult, and can move out and support themself any time after that birthday. It is my job as a parent to make sure that by the time they are 18 they are capable of doing that, if they choose. Mom and dad paying their bills is not how I plan on preparing them.

 

[mdsoccermom]

What I bolded above is really where I shake my head. 50 years ago there were no seat belts - does that mean your kids are unrestrained in the car? No - why not - people lived without seatbelts years ago too. Your kids probably don't need to take the latest medicines either - after all you lived without them. No vaccines either? Since people used to live without them.

No one is suggesting wrapping kids in a bubble, but advances in safety help adults too! I wear a helmet as I ride along the lakefront. Just a smart thing to do.

What has me shaking my head - aside from the above - is the idea that a mom sitting by a pool reading a book is somehow inferior to her. Because obviously such a person couldn't possibly be involved in their kids' lives.

 

[marmalade]

What has me shaking my head - aside from the above - is the idea that a mom sitting by a pool reading a book is somehow inferior to her. Because obviously such a person couldn't possibly be involved in their kids' lives.

I take my kids to the park so I CAN read a book.

 

[debster812]

Since you asked, yes of course I love my kids! I am probably the most involved mom I know. I am always doing everything with them. I am a SAHM and revolve my entire life around being involved with my kids. At the pool just yesterday I saw mom after mom lounging reading a book, not me, I'm up there racing them down the slides and laughing with them. I don't just take them places and let them play, I'm right in there playing and having fun with them I've never heard my kids say they were bored once this summer because I jam pack their time and mine with so much fun that we are hardly ever home. On the occasional day (like today) that we're home everyone is crashing! We're leaving tomorrow for a 10 day family trip so today is packing day If anyone really wanted to go back and read my old posts you would see many about all the fun things my kids and I do together!

I really think that I am probably done with posting much around here. Apparently the dis just aren't my kind of people, I don't get most of you and you don't get me. In case anyone was trying to figure me out I'll save you the time that some have obviously spend looking into my dis past. Here it goes....

I am against drinking, drugs, smoking

I am against pre-marital sex, adultery, and homosexuality

I am for SAHMs

I am for letting your kids grow up and not overprotecting them from the world

I am against all the over the top safety gadgets that didn't exist 35 years ago when I was a kid and yet I survived, boosters for middle schoolers, bike helmets for little kids in the neighborhood (different story if you're a serious rider on busy roads, then you need a helmet. A 3 year old on a trike in the driveway, not so much!)

I am for raising dependable, self-reliant children, who take care of themselves

I am for having lots of fun along the way!!!


Just because I say I want my kids to take care of themselves financially does not mean I plan to sever ties with them! My mom and I hang out all the time, we are great friends. She is always with us at the pool, camping, float trips, trips to the county fair etc. The fact that she raised me to take care of myself and not NEED her doesn't mean I don't have a really close relationship with her. I'm sure it will be the same with my kids


PS I did tell my DD she could join the military too, she has no interest No double standard!

Ahhh, the latest salvo in the Mommy Wars.

Clearly, right now, your way works for you and your family, and that's great. Your way is not the only way, nor is it 100%, it's just right for your family. And in touting your way, you just come off as extremely judgmental, which is why I think you are seeing such vehement disagreement.

Saying things like "I am the most involved mom I know" does nothing but put people's backs up.

 

[mdsoccermom]

I take my kids to the park so I CAN read a book.

I couldn't wait for the day my kids were able to play in the pool by themselves so I could park myself in a chair and read a book.

 

[Anne34]

I couldn't wait for the day my kids were able to play in the pool by themselves so I could park myself in a chair and read a book.

I love to go down the water slides a couple times or float in the lazy river for awhile at the local pool, but I really looked forward to sitting with my book uninterrupted for a short time while my 3 were busy!!

 

[ilovejack02]

I love to go down the water slides a couple times or float in the lazy river for awhile at the local pool, but I really looked forward to sitting with my book uninterrupted for a short time while my 3 were busy!!

Clearly you are a HORRIBLE parent for wanting quiet time to yourself , even for just a short time. ; )


Wow the turn this thread has taken lol. I knew it went south quickly when I saw it on the board and something that could have been answered in just a few quick posts, is on page 7 in one day . Only reason I popped on was to see what the chatter was about lol.

 

[Tinkerdreams]

I am the poster that indicated that my son spends approximately $600/month for food. You need to look at the big picture. There are several meal plans that the college offers. The most expensive (unlimited) is $6000 a school year. The most inexpensive plan is a $2000 food card. Basically the food card is a prepaid card.

Look into the cost of on campus food. To give you an idea, the campus has mostly buffets. Breakfast was $8, Lunch was $12 and the dinner buffet was $18 per person. This equates to $38/day. I think that's a bit much. He ends up spending $15 to $20 a day.

Unfortunately his apartment is a studio. The kitchen has a mini fridge and a sink. There is nothing to cook on.

Off campus food is more reasonable and he has many choices. He does work and pays for his books which can range from $600 to over $1000 per semester.

As with other posters, I have paid my way through school, weddings,etc with no help. I don't want my kids to come out of school with unbelievable debt. By the grace of God, I can help them (and thank God he's the last).

 

[MinnieJay]

I spend about 70 every two weeks on groceries as a college student.


Edit: I didn't see the word "given". I work so I pay for my own food just because I don't want to have to ask my mom. She would give it to me with no hesitation. But if she gave me 550+ a month for food, no doubt I would be eating fillet mignon for dinner every night sheesh. 600 is more than my rent for my apartment. And more than a 3 meal a week meal plan also at my school.

My mom just brought me a crock pot. I freeze my meals out for the week, and in the mornings throw them in the pot while I'm in classes and at work so when I get home there is a hot fresh meal ready. Maybe he can do something similar?

 

[Christine]

I felt the same way when my kids got a bit older and I could actually read a book on the beach.

I think what is the problem, nchulka, is not what you believe or how you do things, but your emphatic discrimination and judgement of those who do things differently. It is one of the strongest judgemental attitudes I have probably seen on the DIS in awhile. And while I get that you want to live morally and do things with honor, being so critical and distasteful of others' choices totally destroys the good intentions you have with your own life.

I might love to sit by the pool and read. Why should I be judged for that? I could honestly sit here and call you an overbearing meddling mom because you don't "let" your kids play alone at the pool, but I would never do that. Because I don't bother to even think that way when I see it happening. I just think "Oh there's someone who enjoys playing pool games". No big deal.

You seem so full of judgement for people who are unlike you.

I absolutely do not drink or smoke (maybe for different reasons than you) but I would never, ever pass a judgement on someone who does. It agrees with them, it doesn't agree with me.

 

[marmalade]

I spend about 70 every two weeks on groceries as a college student.

Finally a voice of reason that can answer the OP original question.

 

[Green Tea]

I'm so excited. I never expected one of my questions to turn into a debate on ANYTHING!.


I am so appreciative of all the opinions on the finances of feeding yourself. Thanks guys. My husband had suggested $400 which I thought sounded so high, but I guess it isn't. I have never actually sat down and thought about what costs might be, so this is very eye opening. (and so was the other stuff. FWIW, the 3 year old on the trike should wear the helmet so he grows up knowing that when he is riding on the freeway, he wears a helmet) So, back to the $ issue....

The student will have a car, so getting to real stores and my guess, organic produce stands, will not be a problem. Refrigeration, stoves, cabinets for storing....none of that will be an issue either.

As for whether it will end up being a trip to the grocery or a trip to a restaurant, I am not sure. I just don't know what to anticipate.

This will be a learning experience for both of us! The moving towards independence by learning to budget the money to last all month, making sure he can still buy gas for the car. I loved the reference to decisions of steak and ice cream,then PBJ to even it out for the rest of the week. We are very happy that we can provide the funds for college, but want it to be a learning process in moving from me shopping and cooking to him taking on these tasks.

For the poster that asked......there is no "meal plan" available. There is a restaurant where they can eat, and I know he will often. But it is not a traditional freshman dining hall type of environment.

 

[Boston Tea Party]

These are adults not pre-schoolers! As an adult the first thing they need to learn is you don't work, you don't eat! I would never consider giving my adult children monthly money for food. As far as some of these amounts they are outrageous! I feed a family of 4 for under 350.00 per month! After learning don't work, don't eat, the next lesson is how to budget and plan, and they will it alot faster with a hungry belly! No real reason to learn how to spend money wisely when mom's handing out 600 bucks a month in food money!

My child will work at college - she will study and attend classes. That is her job - more than a full-time commitment. I don't want her worrying about anything else.