Formally desperate and don't know where to go....updated.

[cathie1327]

Hi all,
Well, I guess I am really posting this as a last resort. It's a big embarassing, but this seems to be the place where that's okay and I'll get support, soooo....here we go.

Here's my story:
I have always been pretty chunky. I'm a bit under 5'2", and really a tiny framed person. I wear little kids gloves, shoes, and most of the time, hats. The problem is, there's a lot of fat packed on this little frame. Over time, it just keeps coming. I have over a hundred pounds to lose.

My life is pretty chaotic. Starting this next Tuesday here's what my daily schedule will look like: wake up at 4 am. work from 5:30-2:00. Attend school from 2:55-8:30. Go home and sleep. Repeat Monday through Thursday. Friday, work whenever (I can start up until 9 am). Saturday and Sunday "free"...although there's always tons of stuff going on so I really never am "free". This makes it really hard to find time to exercise like I want to.

My health....well I'm a little more well-endowed in the front that I'd like....okay A LOT. I have always hard a large chest. I'm starting to develop scoleosis in my back due to the weight pulling me down. Have to lose the chest somehow. The doctor really wants me at a healthy weight before they do a breast reduction, especially since losing weight will decrease my breast size some. I have asthma, so I have a pretty hard time running. I have a bad knee and ankles from lots of falls (did I mention I'm pretty clumsy lol). All around, I'm really not in good shape AT ALL. My body needs a serious tune up.

What I've tried.....numerous diets. I was even on weight watchers last year....and while I was on it...it worked. The problem was that I just had a really hard time making myself/reminding myself to keep up with my points. It took a lot of work to prepare the food I needed to eat, and with going to work and school full time, it just got really difficult to take the time to prepare those meals....so I fell off the wagon. I've even done slim fast for a good amount of time before, and that helped, but again, it's preparation...and I have a really hard time making the time. I usually just end up eating breakfast/lunch at the work cafeteria and then grabbing somethign on the road for dinner. I try to make healthy choices (no fried chicken) but when your options are limited, it's hard.

I sit at a desk all day, and so I'm really starting to feel like a slug. I've gotten to the point where I'm disgusted with myself and I don't even want to take off my shirt when my fiance and I are intimate. I can't stand to look in the mirror, and older pictures of myself where I was less fat make me so teary-eyed that I've hidden them all. Looking through our vacation pictures with people last year was tortue. While all my friends and family were looking at what was around me and commenting on how cool things were, I was looking at myself and getting more and more depressed of how fat I looked. I've always been one to have a pretty good sense of self-esteem but just seeing how I've let myself go is really very disheartening. I just don't know where to go from here.

We are supposed to get married next September and I have started looking at dresses to get ideas, and it's so aggrivating that half the ones I like don't come in the size I would need (because of course, anything over a 16 is "plus size")

Sorry for the long post, but I know that there's got to be someone on these boards who was where I am at one point and I really jsut need the comfort and support I guess....

Thanks all for listening and for any comments and/or help.

 

[Mary Anne]

Well first off I'm going to send you a (((hug))) you're going to need it because I'm probably going to tell you stuff you know but don't want to hear.

The line that jumped out at me in your posts was:

I was even on weight watchers last year....and while I was on it...it worked.

It WORKED. You decided it was too much work and stopped.

t took a lot of work to prepare the food I needed to eat, and with going to work and school full time, it just got really difficult to take the time to prepare those meals....so I fell off the wagon

No diet is going to work forever none of them do. What does work is finding a way to eat that you can live with the rest of your life. The first step is what you've done -- admit to yourself that you need to do something. You may not know what you want to do but you know you need to do something. That step alone is big.

I admit my choice was Weight Watchers. I got up on morning a year ago and decided I no longer wanted to live the way you are living now. Giving 90% of my day to taking care of everything but me. The minute I put myself first, I started to win. And you know what the 90% that needed my attention, still got it but they got it on my terms. Worked learned that I do not schedule meetings before 9 am on a Thursday. Thursday morning is my time for WW. In the evening, no one bothered me for 20 minutes while I took stock of my points for the day. There is a woman on the WW board that I particpate in that said, treat it like work and show up every day. You know what she is right. Take control of your weight and make it a priority and you will be so much better for it. A lot of people will tell you not to use the pre-packaged WW food but you know what at this stage of your journey, use them. They will help you get started and give you the boost you need, once you're on your way you'll find that extra time to make a lot of clean/scratch food. You'll have so much more energy the time will be there.

You have a lot of great life in front of you. Embrace it and enjoy it, don't let a plate of junk food ruin your life. It may taste good for the moment but trust me it'll haunt you for days afterwards, in the way you look, in the way you feel, in the way you look at life. It's corny but true, nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

Find a plan that works be it WW or something else, I do encourge you to find something that is not a quck fix like slim fast and or some other diet mentality quick fix, they work for the moment but not for your life.

 

[pjlla]

You've gotten some great advice already. I just want to add a few comments. Please understand, I am not saying these things to be mean or harsh... just realistic.

Your post was really full of excuses... why you can't exercise, why you can't eat right, why things don't work for you, etc. You need to stop making excuses for why you are still overweight. If it is worth it for you to be slimmer and healthier, then it is worth it to make the time. I heard a saying (I think it was on the Weight Watchers message board) that was something like.... " It is hard to be overweight. It is hard to lose weight. It is hard to maintain a weight loss. You just need to pick your "hard".

That is SO true! To me, nothing could be harder than being overweight. It was hard to buy clothes, it was hard to meet new people, it was hard to always feel like people were judging me for my weight, it was hard to not have energy, it was hard to be a bad example for my children, it was hard to have no self-confidence.

Sure, now it is sometimes hard to always resist over-eating, it is hard to fit in my exercise, it is hard to drink enough water, it is hard to realize that I will have to maintain this healthy eating and exercise FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. But it is no longer hard to meet new people, it is not hard to buy clothes, it is not hard to set an excellent healthy example to my children, it is not hard to find the self-confidence I needed.

If the weight loss is truly important enough to you, you will FIND the time. I can see that your schedule is TRULY very busy... but then again, aren't we all busy (admittedly, some more than others)? Get up 15 minutes early in the morning and do 15 minutes of cardio. Shorten your morning routine (make-up, hair, whatever) by 5 minutes if possible and add those 5 minutes to your workout. Take a brisk walk during a break at work (assuming you get at least one break in addition to your lunchtime), or run the stair well in your building for 10 minutes. Do 100 jumping jacks in your cubicle/office when you return from a bathroom break... that would take under 2 minutes.

Take another 15 minutes before you head to bed for the night... maybe do yoga or pilates or some resistance/weight training. If you have a favorite tv show you never miss, don't SIT while watching it... try a treadmill, elliptical machine, or even just some jogging in place. Or fold laundry or wash dishes while watching it. That will free up time later for exercise.

As far as the food goes, I agree with the PP who said that at least for now, you could get away with eating some of the prepackaged WW foods to help with your time crunch. Buy the prewashed salad package at the grocery store. Sure it is more expensive, but the convenience factor is huge. It should take less than 3 minutes to pack a salad for lunch if you prepare ahead of time. If you truly don't have ANY time in the morning, buy presliced and prediced things at the grocery store salad bar to keep in the fridge to make up a salad for lunch daily. Or cook up a bunch of chicken breast or whatever on the weekends and dice it and weight/measure it into individual servings to just have to grab during the week. Or you could designate a few hours each weekend to cooking and make/freeze some meals to have later in the week.

Sometimes when I am really busy and I need to grab a lunch to bring to work, I grab two packets of high fiber instant oatmeal, a spoon, and a large mug. I heat water in the microwave at work and I make my oatmeal. Not always the ideal meal, but certainly healthy and quick. I am generally cheap about my groceries, but I find if I buy myself some "special" convenience foods to have on hand, I will eat better. For example... if I buy the ready-to-cook broccoli/cauliflower/carrot mix, I will steam it and eat it for breakfast with my egg whites. But if I had to cut everything up in the morning, I wouldn't bother. Same with fruit... most of the time I can't be bothered. But if I buy the pre-cut fruit (I love the stuff at Costco), I am much more apt to eat fruit instead of other junk (and so are my kids, so it is a bonus!). Sure it costs a bit more, but considering what I save in time and calories, it is so worth it.

Eating out is possible, but you need to know what the healthier options are at the different places. Try checking out the fast food restaurant websites and make note of what would be a good choice. When it is necessary to eat at McDonald's or Wendy's I order a side garden salad and a plain grilled chicken wrap (Snack wrap or whatever it is called). I open up the wrap, slice the chicken and add it to the salad. I throw away the wrap (white flour so no real fiber). I carry packets of light salad dressing in my purse most of the time (made by Kraft, available at the grocery store). That way if the restaurant doesn't have a good light dressing available, I'm not in a jam. I have made myself a decent (inexpensive) lunch without much trouble.

In a sit-down restaurant you just need to be vocal to your server about what you want... not butter, no added oil, no dressing, or whatever. At most restaurants you can get something tasty without much trouble. Baked fish, chicken, or pork with rice and veggies is usually a decent choice.

You didn't mention if you knew much about healthy foods or nutrition. If you don't, get reading! Whole grains over white grains (brown rice-not white rice, sweet potato-not white potato, whole wheat-not white bread/rolls/tortillas), green veggies over starchy veggies (green beans-not peas, spinach-not corn). Lowfat dairy choices (skim milk, nonfat yogurt and cottage cheese). Avoid processed meats (this is a good idea, even if you are not trying to lose weight), like hot dogs, lunch meats, sausages and kielbasa, bacon, etc. Read every package you buy!! Weight Watchers is pretty good about teaching people about this... but they do still sell foods that I wouldn't consider really healthy.

I think that you really need to do some thinking and reading before you dive in and end up frustated. I really do think that Weight Watchers would be helpful, but considering your time constraints, you might be best to go with the online program. You would miss out on the face-to-face meetings, which are fabulous, but at least you would have the support of the WW program. Whatever plan you decide to use, give it a whole-hearted effort. Remember to come back here and let us know how you are doing!! Join one of our online groups if you could find 5 minutes once or twice a week to post with us!!

Best of luck to you. We've all been there and we know what you are going through. It won't be easy, but you can DEFINITELY do it!.................P

 

[cathie1327]

First of all, thanks to everyone for posting. It's encouraging to find support.

Secondly, I guess I sort of want to clarify some things. I know my post seemed....whiny. And full of excuses. And looking back, it definitely was. But part of the reason I included all those things was I guess just to demonstrate my frustration about where I am at. I really needed to vent, as this last week it's been really coming down on me about just how much I have let myself go and NOT focusing on the things that are going to make me healthier.

Please understand, I do know that losing weight is work. I don't expect things to happen overnight, or lose tons of weight just from changing one little thing. I know that it's a life change, and as with any change in life, you have to be 100% committed to it, or it's not going to work.

The problem is, when I fall, I have a really hard time picking myself back up, and I'm definitely an all or nothing type of person. I don't mean to be, but in the back of my mind, it's like I'm thinking "well if I can't keep it up every single day then there must be no point." I understand that this sort of thinking is faulty, but I'm really not quite sure how to change it.

This was really my reason for my post. I know that I have given up before, and made excuses. But I really do not know where to go from here, I guess. I'm not really sure what the first step is. Over the years I've developed A LOT of bad habits, and I'm not really sure how to get rid of them. I'm definitely an emotional over-eater, and love food in general, and have a pretty gnarly sweet tooth. These things have all gotten me in trouble over the years, and I know I've got to get rid of them, I'm just not really sure how.

Bottom line, I've got a lot of excuses I want to get past but just don't know how.

There were some great tips, and I'm definitely going to start reading up on what's healthy vs. what's not when it comes to food (I never knew that one vegetable could be better than another!). I want to find a good time to work out, but am a bit worried about my knee and ankles. Anyone know a quick exercise with minimal impact to those areas that I could do every day?

Thanks all for the advice. It really does help.

 

[lisah0711]

The problem is, when I fall, I have a really hard time picking myself back up, and I'm definitely an all or nothing type of person. I don't mean to be, but in the back of my mind, it's like I'm thinking "well if I can't keep it up every single day then there must be no point." I understand that this sort of thinking is faulty, but I'm really not quite sure how to change it.

There is an old Japanese proverb that says "Fall down seven times, get up eight."

This is a quote from a site that I like called sparkpeople.com:

Overcoming obstacles one at a time

Your goals may not come easy. There is no accomplishment without work, and no "win" without something to beat. It's easy to get discouraged when roadblocks appear--in fact, it's only natural. You've invested time and emotion into creating the perfect plan, and then something has to come along and muck it all up. Sometimes, though, all you have to do to beat that barrier is to get back up and move forward again. Obstacles are like the Wizard behind the curtain--they're a lot less intimidating once you see them up close. Next time you take a step back, don't let guilt pile it on top of your previous "stumbles." Just take two steps forward and you're still farther along than you were before. It doesn't matter how many walls you face. You only have to get the better of that last one.

If you go forward a few steps and fall back a little, you are still better off.

You might try a recumbent bike or swimming if you are worried about your knees and ankles and exercise. Or better yet, make an appointment with a physical therapist or trainer and get them to tailor something that will work for you. Does your school or work have a gym since you are there anyway?

Good luck to you. It won't be easy, but the effort is worth it for you.

 

[VernRDH]

Cathie-

for you first. It takes a lot of courage to come bare your soul here-many of us have done it, and we are no worse for the wear. There are tons of marvelous people on here that know what you are going thru-myself included.

There are always things that you can do to make a difference. Pick ONE thing you want to change. Like drinking a water instead of soda. Do that for a week or two, making that the ONLY change. Once that has become part of your life, pick another habit you want to change. Say add in some exercise. Do you have TW cable? If so, there is FitTV or Exercise on demand. You can do what you want when you want. I would highly recommend Leslie Sansone Walk Away the pounds, it gets you moving but is not a lot of impact and can be adjusted if needed. Try that 2 nights a week for a few weeks.

See where this is going? If you make one small change at a time, it is a whole lot easier. Think of it like this-when you eat, you take one bite at a time (I hope). So losing the weight is a "one bite" at a time process.

It can be hard for some of us to not go headlong into the weight loss process, making wholesale changes. I tried that too, and while I lost weight, I was an unhappy camper, thereby making my family unhappy. It almost became an obsession. I had to learn balance, and think I have found it. I still need to lose 50 lbs, but that is half way to my goal of losing 100. I am now training for 2 half marathons (one of them Disney) and feel better all the time. Do I have bad days-you know it. Do I still emotionally eat? I try not to, but sometimes all that will make me feel better is some ice cream. I am constantly reminding myself of the mantras that WW teaches-nothing tastes as good a thin feels, etc. There is nothing wrong with talking out loud to your self too if it stops you from doing something you will regret later.

And honey, I understand about the "girls". I too am well endowed, and it ain't no picnic, I tell you what. Now not to discourage you, but for myself I have lost 50 lbs, and have not lost ANY cup size. Band size yes (from 42 to 36), but still rockin the D/DD cup. And one baby and 20 years of gravity isn't helping my situation at all. (PS I am 4"11", so I understand about being on the short side). A good sports bra is a MUST if you have a large chest and want to do any exercise. And eventually a good plastic surgeon.

I will agree with pjilla and MaryAnne about the pre packaged WW food. I did it in the beginning of WW, easiest to do with the points and all. Grab and go. They aren't ideal for long term, but at least while your schedule is so hectic, it will work. And on Fri/Sat/Sun, make good healthy meals that maybe you could have leftovers of during the week.

I have given you a lot to digest/think over, but that is what we are here for. I am no expert, can only tell you what I have learned and what others here have told me. But there is no magic bullet. No quick fix. But it can be fixed.

Please keep us posted on your progress and feel free to ask questions-we are all happy to help when we can.

 

[JoanneNC]

I have nothing more to add to already great advice you have been given.

Take it one meal at a time and count each positive change as a win - concentrate on losing just 10% of you total goal. Once you realize that you deserve to be healthy - you will find the time.

Good Luck

 

[stego]

You've admitted; others have admitted that. I personally don't know about other's success; I can only relate mine. My way of thinking is that I wanted the results without doing the work (and of course, NO ONE thinks that way!) I had to get away completely from what others think and do. It was, after all, MY journey. If others had information or knowledge or experience I took it because I HAD to be selfish. A good friend told me recently that the word selfish is NOT a bad thing. There are three big A's: the first awareness. Youv'e got that down, the next is being accountable. The last one, attitude, is a lifelong journey. As others have stated, it's NOT a diet. It's a lifestyle. When I went to my ww meetings, my leader always said we never, EVER quit. If I got knocked down, I get back up. Everyone has a bad day now and then. If you have strengths, draw on them. I did not learn this all in one week or 1 month. THIS IS NOT AN OVERNIGHT MATTER. You will have to resign yourself to do what it takes...and accept yourself just as you are right now. We all have some kind of ideal but that doesn't mean it's healthy. I have built a foundation and draw on that. I have 3 meals, with fruit snacks inbetween. I don't ever care how others eat; it has ABSOLUTELY NO BEARING ON WHAT I THINK OR HOW I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF. As a nationally ranked endurance athlete, what I fuel with is huge. I eat to fuel. Take a look at athletes and their behaviors and what they do to prepare themselves. I surround myself with those kind of folks because I can not even think about setting the bar high enough. I hear many folks say that the word regiment is a bad word...well, it's not, I can tell you. Quite simply, I enjoy way too much what I can do.
As far as what you can do today...I took a yoga class recently. My engine requires maintenance, and this was a "component" I felt was missing. You will have to resign yourself to the financial part of changing your life. I remember going to the grocery store the 1st time and throwing EVERYTHING OUT. I have purchased so much cycling stuff it's not even funny. Cycling is not a cheap sport, but I can not put a price on my health. I suggest getting on a spinner because it is non-weight bearing. Remember, you have to take baby steps...we all have. There are days I get on the trainer...I hate it, because I love being outside but always at the forefront is I have to do what it takes.
If you are so inspired, check out my thread in the wish/events on my recent blog for my MTB racing. There are many folks who have come even farther than where you are starting. Try not to forget you are not alone; nor are you the only one to have walked this path. If you wish to change, it has to come from within.

 

[cathie1327]

Hi everyone,
Just wanted to say thanks again for all the suggestions and replies.

Just an update:
I have set several small goals for myself. They inclue things like no pop, drinking a liter of water every day, etc. Small things. And every week I am picking one of those to try and integrate into my daily life. If I struggle with it badly that week, and do it for less than 5 out of the 7 days, then I will keep working on it the next week instead of picking a new goal.

I'm also picking one exercise activity a week and trying to do it at least 2 times throughout the week. Again, small things. And each week I will add another small one until eventually I am doing some sort of activity every day, then maybe I can find a way to work a little bit more strenuous activity into my life.

This week I'm not drinking pop and drinking the liter of water. I drink whatever is sitting at my desk usually, so I think that these will go hand in hand, since if I'm not drinking pop, I'll be thirsty, and the water will be right there.

I realized (and partly through comments from all of you) that losing 115 pounds isn't something I can tackle with all that I've got all at once. It took me a long time and a lot of bad habits to gain that weight, so I need to shed them slowly, and the pounds will go slowly with them.

My fiance and I are going to WDW in September. My goal for then is to have lost 20 lbs. I think that this is pretty reasonable since that leaves me losing about 2 lbs a week, which I understand is pretty healthy?

If anyone has any other tips I would love to hear them, and I will try to come on here regularly to update everyone about my progress and new goals.

 

[goofyfan-12]

You have received a lot of great advice here. I picked up a few great tips myself.

You are about to start an incredible journey as losing 115 pounds will change your life. These boards are a great place to start to help gather information and support along the way. Please be sure to come back here and post. The support I have gotten from the community here has often been the difference between my wanting to give up and my need to keep going.

Let me share a little about my journey with you. I made the decision that I needed to do something back in the spring of 2007 after seeing pictures of me from a recent trip to WDW. I was huge - 5'-3" and 300 pounds kind of huge. It was a hard image to look at because it was gross. I was ashamed of what I had let my life become as I was a slave to food. I did no exercise and walking up a flight of stairs hurt. I spent the summer getting my mind in the right place and decided on Jenny Craig as my weight loss plan. The prepackaged food lent itself to my crazy schedule of work, volunteer committments and family and friends. It had built in convenience, portion control and it tasted good so what was not to like. The other thing that I loved about the program was the one on one meetings with my counselor. She has been a true god send in that she has been there and done that and has been able to prep me for troubles ahead, issues as well as pick me up from the many stumbles I would take.

I spent the first 8 months or so just focusing on the food side of the equation and learning things like portion control, making healthy food choices, learning to listen to my body about what it was looking for. In short, I had to stop looking at food as comfort and start looking at it as fuel. It was not easy, but I lost 25 pounds (and my gallbladder) right off the bat. I was thrilled. During that time, I also hooked up with a great group of people here on the WISH boards known as the Goddesses... We are on vol. 6 of the thread now and the support I get from them has been freakin amazing. I learn something new from them almost every day about strength, determination, fitness, nutrition, life. They are a wonderful group of people whom I am honored to call my friends. Then things just kind of stopped. I kept going with the program and basically maintained for about a year. I didn't gain weight, but I wasn't losing either. I had a bunch of crap going on at work and at home and my head wasn't in the game. I was frustrated, but was thrilled with the fact that I did not go back to my old ways of eating my way through problems and I didn't gain weight. I worked some exercise into my program, but nothing regular. I am a big fan of the Leslie Sansone indoor walking DVD's though. They got me moving, were easy to do and could be done anytime I had a minute since it was in my home. I often would do them at 10:00PM since that was the only time I had. The goddesses helped me through that year and I am forever indebted to them.

At the beginning of this year, I made the big step of hiring a personal trainer and carving out the time to exercise and the results have been amazing. I am now at the gym doing strength training sessions 3 times a week with my trainer and do a cardio workout on the upright bike twice a week (I can't run - doctor's orders, so the bike has been wonderful for me). I am still following Jenny Craig, but am starting to introduce my own food into my meal plan as I start the transition off of their food. I just reached my 60 pound lost milestone last week and I am truly in the best shape of my life. I have lost 24" off of my body (a side note: while my bra size went down, my cup size went up thanks to the muscles in my chest being worked - so don't assume that all will go down) and I have bought a bike and signed up for a 10 mile bike race in July and will be doing the Princess 1/2 marathon with the goddesses in March. A year ago, I never would have thought that I would be doing endurance events and yet, here I am.

So - my Cathie, my words of wisdom to you are this:

1. Find a program that works for you.
No diet is perfect for everyone, but once you find the one that works for you and your lifestyle you are golden.

2. Arm yourself with knowledge and then use it.
Whether it is tips and tricks, nutrition, fitness, etc. all those bits of knowledge will help.

3. Find a support system that will be there when you need it.
I can't stress this one enough. It as been such an important factor in my success to date. Whether it is family, friends, counselors or a group of relative strangers here, know that you are not in this alone. There are others who are here to help you through it.

4. Own your actions.
Without true committment and true ownership, you won't succeed. Sure, there are days when I fall off the wagon and indulge, but I own those days, track those days, enjoy those days and then move on from those days.

5. Recognize that you will slip up from time to time.
Don't beat yourself up about it. Pick yourself up and keep going.

6. Enjoy the ride.
You are going to learn so much about yourself along this journey so don't forget to stop and acknowldge the mental changes that will be happening along the way. I was not nearly prepared for that (things like looking at yourself in the mirror and not recognizing yourself threw me for a real loop). Again, this is where the support system you build will come in handy.

7. Celebrate your victories.I only worry about the next ten pounds. The bigger goal is too overwhelming for me to comprehend, but ten pounds I can deal with. (it is a bowling ball right). Reward yourself for accomplishing these mini goals. I bought a new pair of funky shoes when I hit 30 pounds. I booked a massage when I hit 50 pounds. I bought new sneakers for the gym at 60 pounds. I also bust out a mean happy dance when I hit the next milestone. You worked hard to get to this goal so celebrate it (just not with food ).

I hope this helps. Please know that you can do this. You just have to take the first step and you did that by posting here.

Someone once sent me this quote from a marathoning book and I just love it.

Finishing last beats did not finish which trumps did not have the courage to start.

You already have the courage to start so you are already ahead of the game.

Good luck...

 

[mskayjay]

17 years ago I took off 75 pounds, became a trainer, felt great, looked good, etc. I kept it off until I became ill a few years ago, have had 3 surgeries and gained back 43 pounds of it. I am in a weight loss challenge with some friends and am down almost 10 already. Feel much better about myself mentally.

My boss is a bigger girl. She found a gym that is amazingly diverse and addresses people who need "real" help. They run a program called "The Big Loser" and model it after the show of the similar name. You meet twice a week with your team to exercise, have weigh ins, etc. The motivation you get from working out with others is phenomenal.

Now I want to ask you something very bluntly and I do not mean to hurt your feelings so strap on the body armour.

I am going to "guess" that you are going to say you do not have the time for a program such as that or to prepare the healthy meals you need etc. I used to say the same thing. So let me ask you this......how will you fit in adjusting your diet and cooking schedule when you are diagnosed with diabetes (extremely common with weight issues!!!) and have no choice but to do so??? How will you fit in the changes you will need to make to your life when you get heart disease or any of the myriad of other health issues that will *force* you to make changes down the road if you don't take control and do it on YOUR terms right now!

You say you're getting married? You love him and you want a long happy life together....... Are you willing to give up time with him for that pizza or pop or whatever you are eating/drinking that you know you don't need???? My DH packed on quite a bit of weight and one time I looked at him while he was pounding down a huge pile of Buffalo Chicken Wings and I just started crying.....he asked me what was wrong and I told him.....those wings are going to take you away from me far sooner than I want you to go.......

I am not a huge proponent of using aids for losing weight but several of the girls in my group (not me yet) are using Alli with very good results. The product does cause the um....."leakage"....issue if you eat the wrong thing and for those who hold down full-time jobs, the fear of losing it in their pants at work has been an amazing motivator to eat right! lol And they have been losing a good 50% more than those of us not on it. You may find that you need to consider something like that.

Find someone that you can commit to, who will force you to go for a walk and who will also feel compelled to show up to meet you to walk as well. Do it with someone and if you can't find a "live" friend, reach out to me! I will push you if you will push me and I will let you vent, cry, carry on, etc. and then I will tell you to get over yourself, quit complaining about being sore, take an Advil and go walk another mile.

You need to take ownership of something......YOU deserve to be happy and healthy and right now you are neither. The only person responsible for that and the only one who can change it is the one you see in the mirror. Don't map out your life, map out your day as you take on this challenge. Did you stumble today? Fine.....midnight starts a new day.....get at it. You CAN do this IF you want to.

hugs
K

 

[cathie1327]

I'm just posting really quickly because I feel I need to, but I'm at work so can't take too much time..

I did something today that I never, ever, ever do.

I ate fish.

Now, normally I HATE seafood, but our cafeteria today had two options (because it's a Friday the grill and salad bar were closed DANGIT!) Battered fish, or honey bbq fried chicken. I thought that since they were both fried, I'd take the lesser of the two evils and take the fish, and if I couldn't stand the taste I'd just swallow it whole lol (I've been in meetings all morning and I'm super hungry!).

I actually liked the fish taste...it's just cod...but I didn't really like the batter.......so I just pulled the fish out with my fork and ate it.

Okay, so I'm sure this wasn't SUPER healthy, but I think given my options, was probably better than some things I could have been eating!

Had a soda this morning But dumped part of it out once I thought about just what I was doing and went and got a water instead.

Working on it. Little bit by little bit....but working on it.

Will post later....have something I want to say to ya'll

 

[3DisneyKids]

Hi Cathie--so exciting that you are starting this journey!

Yes, I said exciting as opposed to DAUNTING.

You have been given great advice here, just great, but my WISH comrades Vern and Paula (Goofyfan) and others. So I won't repeat what they said, since they said it so well.

Instead I will add something different...attitude. If you look at this as a "struggle" and "daunting" and "overwhelming," then it will be just that. But if you can turn that around and look at it as NEW, and exciting, and different, and a positive challenge, and the first chapter in the newer and better phase of your life, well...that is what it will become!

And which would you rather do? A daunting overwhelming task? Or take a new and exciting journey to places you have never been before?

GOOD LUCK! We are here for you.

 

[VernRDH]

Cathie-

We are still waiting for your update! Come back and tell us! I hope things are going well for you.

 

[pickles521]

Hi Cathy,

You've gotten great advice here. I can't really add to some of it - it is what it is: take responsibility, you didn't put it on overnight - you won't take it off overnight, commit to yourself... there's a lot of that already posted here and it really is good advice.

I want to share just one thing - you mentioned you are ummm - big - on top. Well sweetie, i've never met anyone bigger than myself. Because you're big too, you know that's not bragging, that's an embarassed admission. I mention it because really, truly what turned my exercise - and therefore weightloss - around was a good bra. A really good, really supportive bra. My husband calls them steel belted!

Seriously, take the time to shop and spend the necessary money. Bras like we need aren't cheap and are seldom bought off the rack, even at stores like Lane bryant. Here's my lifesaver:
http://www.lindasonline.com/goddess-comfort-zone-front-close-sports-bra-2000-black.html?size=44H

Although - in looking for it to show you I found it was discontinued!!! OMG!!! I have to go right now and buy a few more!

Seriously, being able to exercise comfortably made all the difference in the world to me. I would exercise and then I'd worked so hard on the workout I didn't want to ruin it with eating the wrong thing, then I sacrificed my normal fatty foods last night, so I might as well exercise or I gave up the food for nothing, which made me want to exercise harder which made me want to eat better... It's a vicious circle - only in a good way!

So - the moral of my story is you can do this! But it's easier with the right tools, and a great bra is one of the best tools ever (and the right shoes are the second best tool - but that's a different conversation).

Good luck and keep us updated!

 

[cathie1327]

Hi all!

Okay......where to begin....lol

17 years ago I took off 75 pounds, became a trainer, felt great, looked good, etc. I kept it off until I became ill a few years ago, have had 3 surgeries and gained back 43 pounds of it. I am in a weight loss challenge with some friends and am down almost 10 already. Feel much better about myself mentally.

My boss is a bigger girl. She found a gym that is amazingly diverse and addresses people who need "real" help. They run a program called "The Big Loser" and model it after the show of the similar name. You meet twice a week with your team to exercise, have weigh ins, etc. The motivation you get from working out with others is phenomenal.

Now I want to ask you something very bluntly and I do not mean to hurt your feelings so strap on the body armour.

I am going to "guess" that you are going to say you do not have the time for a program such as that or to prepare the healthy meals you need etc. I used to say the same thing. So let me ask you this......how will you fit in adjusting your diet and cooking schedule when you are diagnosed with diabetes (extremely common with weight issues!!!) and have no choice but to do so??? How will you fit in the changes you will need to make to your life when you get heart disease or any of the myriad of other health issues that will *force* you to make changes down the road if you don't take control and do it on YOUR terms right now!

You say you're getting married? You love him and you want a long happy life together....... Are you willing to give up time with him for that pizza or pop or whatever you are eating/drinking that you know you don't need???? My DH packed on quite a bit of weight and one time I looked at him while he was pounding down a huge pile of Buffalo Chicken Wings and I just started crying.....he asked me what was wrong and I told him.....those wings are going to take you away from me far sooner than I want you to go.......

I am not a huge proponent of using aids for losing weight but several of the girls in my group (not me yet) are using Alli with very good results. The product does cause the um....."leakage"....issue if you eat the wrong thing and for those who hold down full-time jobs, the fear of losing it in their pants at work has been an amazing motivator to eat right! lol And they have been losing a good 50% more than those of us not on it. You may find that you need to consider something like that.

Find someone that you can commit to, who will force you to go for a walk and who will also feel compelled to show up to meet you to walk as well. Do it with someone and if you can't find a "live" friend, reach out to me! I will push you if you will push me and I will let you vent, cry, carry on, etc. and then I will tell you to get over yourself, quit complaining about being sore, take an Advil and go walk another mile.

You need to take ownership of something......YOU deserve to be happy and healthy and right now you are neither. The only person responsible for that and the only one who can change it is the one you see in the mirror. Don't map out your life, map out your day as you take on this challenge. Did you stumble today? Fine.....midnight starts a new day.....get at it. You CAN do this IF you want to.

hugs
K

I know you were afraid to be brash....but really.....................thank you. Reading this made me cry, because I never really thought about and took into account what my weight and my lack of motivation to do something about it would do to other areas of my life.

I do love my fiance and I want to have a really long long LONG happy healthy marriage with him...and that means making myself as healthy as I can so I don't go anywhere too soon.

There is a slew of health problems like diabetes and heart problems that run in my family, and I don't EVER want to have to put any of my family through having to watch me go through those things.....and unless I turn things around, it's inevitable.


SO! Thank you to everyone for really getting through to me. I think it's so easy to just have a day where I'm sick of myself and my old habits but go back to the same thing the next day without a second thought. Something's gotta give as they say, and all of you here have made me realize that.

So, for starters, I am NOT starting school this summer. It was going to make my schedule entirely too crazy and I would have NO time whatsoever to focus on myself. At all. Instead, I'm starting in the fall, where I will only have class two nights a week. Much better. So...step one. Making time to take care of myself.

Step two. Exercise. My company gym offers a free abs class once a week that I am going to take advantage of, and I also am going to go to the pool twice a week. I want to start of slow, so one-I can give my body time to get used to it, and two-I can see what is going to be comfortable and okay for my knees and ankles.

Step three. This is a giant one. I am starting weight watchers again. I get a giant discount on it through work, and they have the meetings at work, so I have NO excuse. The open meeting where I register is on the 22nd, so until then, I am just psyching myself up.

I must admit, I am a little scared that my motivation will go away....but that's where my fourth step comes in. My journal. Every day I will write my food, points, etc, of course, all that in it. But also how I'm feeling. Frustrations. Triumphs. And every week I will not only weigh myself, but take a picture. So that when I start losing weight but can't really tell as much, I will have pictures to compare and can be like "wow, look how much better I look since two weeks ago!" These are things I am going to share with everyone, and though it will be a little embarassing, it will keep me accountable.

I'm really excited to start this journey, if you want to call that, and become a better person inside and out. I want to LOOK like the beautiful, confident, sassy girl I FEEL like on the inside.

Thank you so much everyone for the support and motivation. I still have tears in my eyes through posting this. You have no idea what it has meant to me.

 

[VernRDH]

Cathie-

Good girl!! Look at the changes already! It is amazing what you have available to you-you just have to take it! A gym, discounted at work WW- FABULOUS!!

Journaling is important. I just started one here on WISH, I had one on Fitday. Sometimes it helps to see it in print, instead of just hearing it in your mind. Then (to me) its REAL.

School-taking the summer off is a great thing. I know you are probably in a hurry to get it done, but at what cost? This was a wise move. Once you start back to class in the fall, you will be fully into your new way of living/eating/exercising that you will be able to make it all work.

I for one am looking forward to hearing about how you do. Please keep us posted and if you start a journal here on WISH let us know.

 

[VernRDH]

Cathie-how are you doing? Hope it is going well for you!