Formal Night-I made a big deal out of nothing

[Dreamer04]

Oh well. DH and DS have decided against wearing tuxedos on Formal Night.

I've been pushing for the tux, but I lost. I have to admit that I was very disappointed and resentful.

Then, in a moment of clarity, I realized how blessed I am. It has been a rough year for my family, and it is a miracle that we are all alive and together. With gratitude, I accepted my husband's decision.

DH and DS will look handsome in their dark suits. I thank God for that. Who needs a tuxedo?

There is always a big discussion about appropriateness and dress codes. Listening to some post about luxury this and high-society that. I had stars in my eyes and couldn't see the forest for the trees.

I think that if I REALLY insisted, they would sacrifice their comfort to please me. Enough is enough.

We are blue collar people. We live wonderfully average lives filled with love and delightful mess. I want my family to be at ease. Tuxedos would make us stiff and make us raise our pinky's. Not us.

Well, that's it. Thanks for listening. No tuxedos. Just love in a dark suit.

 

[CRB#33]

That is so nice! What a great attitude!

Tuxes are nice, but so are suits. You are twiced blessed because you know how blessed you are!

Thanks for this heartening post

 

[Verandah Man]

I'm sure your men will look just wonderful. I only had on a dress shirt with Mickey tie, black shoes, black slacks, and a black sport coat. On our cruise there were more men in suits than in a tux. Don't fret it, go and enjoy your cruise.

 

[SeaSpray]

I agree with you, Dreamer! Tuxes are nice, but your DH and DS will look wonderful in their suits. Maybe you can buy them new ties? They have some really nice ties that have "hidden Mickeys" in them. In other words, they look like regular ties, nice colors, etc, but up close, if you look carefully, you see that the shapes and images make up Mickeys head, with the 3 circles. I plan on buying these ties for my DH and DSs for our Disney cruise this summer.

You are a wise woman to remain focused on the really important things in life; the fact that you and your family love each other and are fortunate enough to be going on a Disney cruise.

I hope you all have an outstanding vacation!!!!

 

[WDWLVR]

I think you have made a great choice and think you will totally enjoy your formal and semi-formal nights. DH rented a tux on our first 7 day but took his suit for our most recent. He looked great both times and enjoyed himself just as much. We plan on him renting a tux for the 10 day cruise just because it is a little more special, but just being on the cruise is special enough and if he wanted to go with a suit that woudl be fine!

Enjoy your cruise!

 

[MarkLem]

I don't own a tux, but have a black suit and black tie. This is what I wore.

The effort is what's important! A nice dark suit will show this! It will work fine.

As long as they have suit and tie, that's good

 

[Dreamer04]

I feel even better now! I love the support we give each other on this board!



Ursula

 

[JoniJ]

SeaSpray, Where do you buy the ties with the "Hidden Mickey's" in them? I would like to get my DH and DS one for our 2/7/04 cruise. Thanks, Joni

 

[disneyholic family]

personally i think tuxes are terribly ugly (and when i see men wearing them it always make me think of a maitre d' or someone in an orchestra)...
suits are much more distinguished looking...at least to me...
and by the way, we're not blue collar and live anything but average lives (the last formal i was at was a state dinner with prime ministers and ambassadors and similarly boring folk....double ugh)..... but nevertheless, my husband and son would feel totally uncomfortable in tuxes....for that matter, they both would feel uncomfortable in suits.....so i guess it's fortunate we're on the 4 day when there's no formal night...because i'm not even packing sport coats for them....this is a vacation after all.....the dressiest they'll be is chinos and a polo shirt....that's what makes them comfortable.....to each his own....

 

[KarenB]

You've got your priorities straight!!!

We have decided to fore go formal night all together. Our DSs will be miserable in a suit, DH has to wear a suit at work,and we both work very long hours. We are not a family that enjoys "dressing up." We are on this cruise/vacation to relax and enjoy ourselves. We have decided to skip formal night and be casual, sit back, find some good food and music.......

It is your vacation, you earned it.....so do what makes you enjoy it!!!

Karen

 

[CRSNDSNY]

Dreamer04, I'm sure your men will look very handsome in their suits !

Wait until you see, not everyone wears a tuxedo and you'll laugh at why you ever stressed about it!

Besides, look at the money you'll be saving on the tux rentals!

 

[Lisa F]

DH owns a tuxedo and doesn't feel any more uncomfortable in a tux than in a suit, but he's one of those rare men that actually ENJOYS dressing up (he was also in the air force and actually enjoyed wearing the uniform). I think he is also the body type that a tuxedo was made for, tall and slim with slightly broad shoulders. His tux fits him like a glove and if I do say so myself, he looks mighty fine in it. He doesn't look like a waiter or a maitre d or like he is supposed to be in an orchestra, but maybe I wouldn't know the difference since I don't have dinners with ambassadors and prime ministers.

My dad also owns a tuxedo and loves to wear it and is definately blue collar and makes no apologies for it. I think he looks adorable in it, especially with the silver cummerbund and tie set I got him for christmas that matches his silver hair. I can tell you his big calloused hands do not do any pinky lifting when he is wearing his tuxedo, but that's HIS comfort zone (and he was never actually comfortable wearing a tux until he bought his own).

My point is not to say that if your husband and son don't want to wear tuxedos that they should, but just to point out that ESPECIALLY on a Disney cruise, one should not feel that their clothes are this huge reflection of their class. NO ONE CARES! (not counting someone who shows up in cutoff jeans). You want to feel glamorous for the evening? Fine, wear a gown and tuxedos. That's not really you? Fine, wear a little black dress and a suit.

Anyone who is paying that close attention to what you are wearing is clearly not having a great time themselves if they care that much. Your cruise is about having a good time within the limits of accepted behavior and respect for fellow passengers. A dark suit is FAR from inappropriate for formal night and I wouldn't fret one bit about it, your boys will look great (and have nice smiles in the family portraits because they feel comfortable in their clothes will make for a MUCH better momento than tuxes and stiff lips!)

Lisa

 

[4nana]

Personally, I think formal night is blown way out of proportion on our wonderful board. Our family shopped, stressed, worried, and then stressed some more over what to wear. We dragged several garment bags of suits, sports coats, shirts, long dresses, skirts, tops, etc. Finally when we got there, we were amazed to see the variety of clothing on the Magic and Wonder. Sure you have your tuxes and gowns, but the majority are not overly dressed, rather in very nice evening clothes. Anyone who gets to go on a crusie is very blessed. I say ~ go, enjoy, dont' worry and be happy making special memories with your family.

~ Sandie

 

[NADINENURSE]

PLEASE DON"T LAUGH We are renting tuexdos, as my men, DH and DS, do not have suits !!! Renting would be cheaper than buying

 

[KathyTX]

Your men will look wonderful and perfectly appropriate in their dark suits.

My DH enjoys wearing a tux, and looks great in it. We usually rent, and he likes the convenience of not needing to pack and clean his own suit.

But the men in nice dark suits look just as dapper, and equally comfortable. You're going to have a wonderful cruise, and it sounds like you really deserve this getaway.

 

[SeaSpray]

Originally posted by JoniJ
SeaSpray, Where do you buy the ties with the "Hidden Mickey's" in them? I would like to get my DH and DS one for our 2/7/04 cruise. Thanks, Joni

I'm going to order mine from this site: http://2002ties.com/ties/indexfiles/disney.html Since you are sailing soon, see how long they take to ship to make sure you have them in time!

 

[Karel]

Hey, thanks for the neat tie site. Very reasonable too. I found a tie I might get for my son's home room teacher, who is also is science teacher, for the end of the year.

 

[Dreamer04]

DH is much happier about formal night, now. I'm glad the decision is made and over. Originally, they had unhappily agreed. When I told DH that he needs to be measured this week, I saw how displeased he was about the whole thing.
There was no arguement. I just want him to be happy and confortable.

I'll be wearing my little black dress (not that little )

My men will be in their handsome suits and DD 6 will be in her Cinderella ballgown. I can see the photo in my livingroom already!

 

[disneyholic family]

why would anyone laugh??
actually, renting makes good sense to me even if you do own a suit....better than dragging a suit along in the suitcase and worrying about wrinkles and all that nonsense...
but in any case, as i said, we're fortunately on the 4 day so no suits necessary.....no need to waste suitcase space for one night's use.....
and as i said, my husband hates suits (and can normally avoid them entirely.....we live in a country where men only wear suits on relatively formal occasions....woman on the other hand, are a completely different story.....woman usually wear suits of some kind or another, and NEVER wear shorts....you can ALWAYS pick out the american tourists......they're the ones with the women wearing shorts....even teenage girls here don't wear shorts...only little little girls wear them...)

 

[Dreamer04]

SeaSpray, thanks for the great link! I ordered two beautiful ties. My DH will appreciate the fact that the Mickies are "hidden".

DS will love his-bright and kind of "out there". Please-I have to shop for decent clothes for him. He likes this-almost "grunge" look. I'm not sure how to spell it. But, he is aware that I won't let him walk around like that on the ship. His pants will be a LITTLE baggy-but not what he's used to.

But, he's so thrilled about the whole thing-I don't think it will matter!