Forgetting birthdays...

[4nana]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Awww sweetie, I'm sorry your BD was spoiled . Our family was raised BD's are important, no matter the age, so yes, I would be very hurt if my DH ever forgot.

IMO saying men are clueless is a scape goat. I know there are certain circumstances they may forget, but spouses should be respectful of one another. If I were in your situation I'd probably tell him the truth - BD's are important to me and it hurt my feelings to be forgotten, so hopefully he'd think twice next year! On the other hand, if is a continious habit, ask him yearly if he's planned a BD dinner outing, if not, I would simply plan a family outing for my special day letting him know beforehand he's invited. Remind yourself, even if it's not a big deal in your family, you do deserve some type of BD recognition and don't sell yourself short by sulking and having it spoiled. Life is too short!

 

[Buckalew11]

I'd simply divorce him and find someone else with a calendar.



Of course I am She With the Most Serious Need for Affirmation on Her Birthday.

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!! Go buy yourself a cake. And put some balloons on the front door. Tell him you forgot to invite him to your party.

I love this!!

DH has never forgoten my b-day and I'd be crushed if he did unless he had dementia.

Happy Birthday, Sunlver! I wonder why your DH will remember...I need to read page 2. maybe he already did remember.

 

[Buckalew11]

While the kids were eating their McDonalds, I left to do a couple of errands. I needed gas, and the dogs needed food. Apparently one of the kids must of mentioned it was my birthday. When he saw me pull up, he came outside. I was getting the dogfood out of the car and he said "I didnt even realize it was the 24th, why didnt you say anything?" HUH????WHY DIDNT I SAY ANYTHING....I just walked right inside, put the dog food away and went on with my business.Oh well...some men have "it" and some dont. There could be worse things right?

Sounds like he forgot that the 24th was your b-day to me. I do not go for the "men will be men" nor for the "boys will be boys"-- do not try to pass that kind of crap off for me. I don't care whether you make a big deal out of birthdays or not, unless your a JW or do not WANT to celebrate your birthday, your family--esp. your DH/DW should remember your special day. For me, it comes down to laziness and being taken for granted. I'm a low maintenance person (except for WDW trips) but I want a Happy Birthday on my birthday.

Sunlver, I am sorry he forgot and I'm sorry I think he made a stupid excuse.

 

[Forevryoung]

DBF tossed a conference brochure at me and was so excited, he's going to a conference Oct. 18th-21st with a bunch of people.

I gave him a blank stare. He asked what was wrong.

My birthday is the 19th (a Friday). I had previously mentioned making the 280 mile trip to see him for that weekend to celebrate.

His response "I saw the dates 18th and 21st... I didn't think past that"


DBF's birthday is tomorrow, he called me tonight and asked what my plans were for tomorrow night. (he does know it's his birthday at least )

Happy Birthday!

 

[pearlieq]

OK, I just don't get this. If you want to be acknowledged, then say something!!!!! He's a GUY!!! Guys can be clueless to the date, to the event, whatever.

The point isn't the card or celebration. The point is the thought, effort, and care involved. If you have to prompt him to do something nice for you, what's the point?

If he were a teenager or something, sure, but a grown man should be able to be counted on to remember his spouse's birthday. No exceptions. I'm not buying "it's a guy thing" for this. Guys can use a calendar as well as anyone else.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

While the kids were eating their McDonalds, I left to do a couple of errands. I needed gas, and the dogs needed food. Apparently one of the kids must of mentioned it was my birthday. When he saw me pull up, he came outside. I was getting the dogfood out of the car and he said "I didnt even realize it was the 24th, why didnt you say anything?" HUH????WHY DIDNT I SAY ANYTHING....I just walked right inside, put the dog food away and went on with my business.Oh well...some men have "it" and some dont. There could be worse things right?

I'm so sorry that you had such a miserable birthday!

Look on the bright side-- he took care of dinner for the kids so that meant no cooking for you, he works extra hard, and did atleast wish you a happy birthday and is probably miserable for forgetting. I think he still sounds like a keeper!

Happy Birthday to you!!!!

 

[ZPT1022]

Well I was right..He is home now and hasn't said a thing. He has forgotten. I am so hurt and sad, that I can't bring myself to say anything. Hes off buying the kids McDonalds for dinner.. oh well 6 more hours and this day will be hour, and no more birthday until another year

I'm sorry he's being such a clod.

That's five birthday wishes, one from everyone in my house. I hope that he figures it out for next year

 

[Buckalew11]

The point isn't the card or celebration. The point is the thought, effort, and care involved. If you have to prompt him to do something nice for you, what's the point?

If he were a teenager or something, sure, but a grown man should be able to be counted on to remember his spouse's birthday. No exceptions. I'm not buying "it's a guy thing" for this. Guys can use a calendar as well as anyone else.

Glad I am not alone.

 

[sunlver]

Thank you for all your kind birthday wishes, and all your comments

I do not think I should have to tell him everyday that my birthday is coming up.
Its always a joke around here starting mid August. See my daughters birthday is Aug 13, my sons is Aug 19 and mine Aug 24th...SO its a very busy two weeks. Its ALWAYS talked about with the amt of birthdays we have these 2 weeks, and whose birthday is next. It was no secret or suprise my birthday was Aug 24. Its been talked about in front of him

He made some comment how he did feel bad about missing my birthday and our anniver Which was Aug 21(thats a whole dift story...too long for this post). I told him its All about PRIORITIES...his priority sits in the driveway..he is constantly working on cars, fixing them, selling them, driving him. That is what he does when he is not working. When hes got a new one to work on, hes planning on trips to the car junk yard for parts, or trips to the Auto part store etc..

Around 7:40 me and my son left for Friday night services(We are Jewish, and go to the Synagogue on Friday nights). My husband(not Jewish)stays at home with my 3 and 8 yr old. We get home around 9pm. My little one mumbles something about a cake, and drags me to the kitchen. Apparently my husband called my friend in the neighborhood to ask her to bring him over a cake mix and frosting and explained he forgot about my birthday. Although we have 4 cars here, the van I drive has the only car seat as why he couldnt drive to the store. So I thanked him for the cake. They sang Happy Birthday to me.So no it wasnt a complete disaster. Actually by the time I got home, I was in a much better mood. Maybe because I was out of the house for a few hours.
My husband did admit he has been too preoccupied with his car

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Thank you for all your kind birthday wishes, and all your comments

Apparently my husband called my friend in the neighborhood to ask her to bring him over a cake mix and frosting and explained he forgot about my birthday. Although we have 4 cars here, the van I drive has the only car seat as why he couldnt drive to the store. So I thanked him for the cake. They sang Happy Birthday to me.So no it wasnt a complete disaster. Actually by the time I got home, I was in a much better mood. Maybe because I was out of the house for a few hours.
My husband did admit he has been too preoccupied with his car

Geesh, sorry about your anniversary too, no wonder you were so upset!

That's sweet that he found a way to make it up to you --yeah he could've done much better, but he still sounds like a keeper so I'd have to say you are a lucky ducky! Hope things work out with less car more family time.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

My parents had endless fights about my mother's birthday. Dad would forget, Mom would be furious, yell, pout, give him the silent treatment, etc.

Then when he remembered and bought her a present, it was never what she wanted and she would give him the same treatment.

Seeing the ridiculous anger, blaming, feuding, etc. I told DH 21 years ago that we would ALWYAS remind each other of special events coming up and we would ALWAYS give each other ideas about what we wanted, giftwise.

This has worked GREAT for us. There are enough everyday misunderstandings that can affect a relationship....why "test" our loved ones to see if they will remember important dates or pick the "right" gifts for us? Our relationships are already tested by outside forces that we can't control...so lets do our best to work out the things we CAN control. My philosophy, anyway.

 

[mcco5543]

I'm glad to see that your husband does care very much for you! It doesn't make up for his thoughtlessness, that is something he will have to work on and change his priorities a little, like you said. But I think he made the first step and good for you for telling him how you felt!

No, we shouldn't have to tell someone do to do something nice for us, but we also shouldn't expect people to have the same priorities as us. Unfortunately you have a husband that needs to be reminded about what you're priorities are, doesn't mean he doesn't care, just means he needs to know what you need from YOU and i'm sure he's HAPPY to give it to you. My dad's the same way, drives me crazy, but if i want something from him I have to ask.

Hope your husband starts paying a little more atteion and i'm glad your birthday ended in a nice way!

 

[missypie]

This thing about guys not being able to remember birthdays, annivs, etc. is total bs. I worked with a guy who got married on his own birthday so he wouldn't forget his anniversary. Another got married on Valentines Day so he wouldn't forget his anniversary. Yet these guys are successful lawyers....there are millions of dollars riding on their remembering answer dates, inspection period expiration dates, deposition dates, closing dates....somehow, they meet deadlines at work every single day, but yet they can't be expected to remember birthdays and anniversaries. I'm not buying it!