For women only, what do you think?

[Singleminnie]

As I and a close friend have re-entered the dating world, we have had a lot of conversations. One we had at lunch today was (I hope I don't get dinged for this) Ladies, would you date or marry "The 40 Year Old Virgin"? The person we were actually talking about is 45. I see there are pros and cons to this, I know my Dis friends will shirley have some opinions. Thanks in advance!

Opps, I did not mean to put this on the budget thread, if someone can tell me how to move it or would a kind monitor do it for me?

 

[Handbag Lady]

As I and a close friend have re-entered the dating world, we have had a lot of conversations. One we had at lunch today was (I hope I don't get dinged for this) Ladies, would you date or marry "The 40 Year Old Virgin"? The person we were actually talking about is 45. I see there are pros and cons to this, I know my Dis friends will shirley have some opinions. Thanks in advance!

Opps, I did not mean to put this on the budget thread, if someone can tell me how to move it or would a kind monitor do it for me?

Is he nice, kind, treats you like a princess, and is employed (or otherwise will be able to be the stay-at-home person or equivelent of being employed, meaning, he's not a bum-around guy), and is he not stuck on his mother?

If yes, then I'd consider marrying him if I loved him.

 

[DawnM]

Why would he be undesireable just because he is a virgin?

 

[momof1princess]

i have to second the pp...if he's employed, knows how to treat a lady, clean, and generally a nice, kind person, i'd go out with him. if i fell in love with him, i'd marry him. his lack of sexual history wouldn't be a factor. i speak from experience-neither DH nor i had any previous sexual partners prior to each other. (sorry if that's TMI)

 

[Handbag Lady]

i have to second the pp...if he's employed, knows how to treat a lady, clean, and generally a nice, kind person, i'd go out with him. if i fell in love with him, i'd marry him. his lack of sexual history wouldn't be a factor. i speak from experience-neither DH nor i had any previous sexual partners prior to each other. (sorry if that's TMI)

Yep, at first I was thinking about all of the millions of people who marry as virgins, but then I was also thinking that you can easily teach some things whereas other things can't be taught.

 

[Singleminnie]

Why would he be undesireable just because he is a virgin?

No not at all, that was my side in the conversation. I agree, it could be a great opportunity to practice self control and to teach!

 

[tinkermom23]

Why would he be undesireable just because he is a virgin?

?? ??

 

[NYCDiane]

would you date or marry "The 40 Year Old Virgin"? The person we were actually talking about is 45.

The one question I would have is, WHY is this person the "45 year old virgin"???

He obviously has some serious issues if he can't get/keep a girlfriend or can't get a woman to sleep with him. (unless he's a former priest and even then.....)

I wouldn't go anywhere near him.

 

[semo233]

Because there are so many other qualities to consider, the fact that he is a virgin would be of little consequence. Now if he was bumping into ladies he had previous "relations" with all over the place, that's another story!

 

[ajk912]

Speaking hypothetically, I would not go out with the guy in "The 40 Year Old Virgin" because his toy collection kind of creeps me out. Plus, he didn't know how to drive. I know I am a bit picky..but hey, you asked!

BTW, I am married, so this is definitely hypothetical.

 

[dyna]

Why NOT? as others has said Some things can be taught others can not

 

[disykat]

If he was a creep who had been chasing everything in skirts trying to get laid and was so creepy he hadn't managed it - no.

If he was a nice guy who was waiting to fall in love and marry the right girl - who happened to be me - absolutely! I would consider it a huge bonus. I consider our virginity to be one of the best gifts dh and I ever gave each other.

 

[Mrs. Bradbury]

For me it would depend on WHY he's still a virgin at 45. It's true what PPs have said about other qualities being just as important, but I've lived the other side of the coin . . . I was young when I married my first husband and he was 5 years older than me, and I thought his lack of physical drive was just restraint, his way of showing me he respected me. Isn't that what our mothers tell us??? In fact, it was a welcome change from those other guys with octopus arms I constantly fought off on other dates. However, it turned out that he was asexual. It was a miserable marriage; I cried myself to sleep many a night, wondering what was wrong with me, before I figured it out.

So yeah, it's important.

 

[NYCDiane]

If he was a nice guy who was waiting to fall in love and marry the right girl - .

At 45?!??! I could see if a guy was in his early 20s and waiting for the right girl, but a 45 year old man?? No way.... something is definitely wrong with this picture and I would steer far clear of him!

 

[faindrops27]

At 45?!??! I could see if a guy was in his early 20s and waiting for the right girl, but a 45 year old man?? No way.... something is definitely wrong with this picture and I would steer far clear of him!

Ok, what has to be wrong with this guy?? I honestly think he could just be saying that he is a virgin. Men, lie, like forget about it. But, let's say he really is a virgin. It could be for religious reasons. Nothing wrong with that. Sounds very honorable to me.

I hear alot of you saying a man can be taught some things. But, not others. Ok, so for a man to be good in bed. He has had to sleep with other women?? Say he slept with others who were duds in bed, and taught him nothing? I believe anyone can be taught. With the proper teacher. Not the quantity, but the quality, eh.

Anyhow OP. I agree, with the posters that are saying. If he is upstanding citizen. With a good job, a stable mind, and good values. I sure would.

 

[NotUrsula]

Date? Sure.

Marry him when he was STILL a virgin? No. I wouldn't marry anyone that I hadn't slept with -- sexual compatibility is very important in a marriage.

(And FWIW, anyone who objected to that on religious grounds would undoubtedly be too religious to be happy married to me.)

 

[brekin67]

Maybe he is from Virginia and thinks he is a Virgin, like I am from Oklahoma and I am an Okie. Could he be a Latter Day Saint? Does he wear a purity ring? Is he a fan of the Jonas brothers? Oh, I have so many questions.

 

[KAMKIM]

This is just an assumption but I'm thinking he's lying

 

[Pigeon]

Would I date him? It would depend why the guy was a virgin. If it were for religious reasons, or because he didn't have a job, was totally socially inept, wasn't interesting at all, no, probably not. If it's because he hadn't met the right women, probably.

Would I marry him? No way. At least not until we'd remedied the situation.

 

[mjantz]

I know a guy in his mid-30s who is still a virgin. He didn't tell me. I learned it from a mutual friend. His reasons are religious & I respect that. I'm happily married so not interested at all but he strikes me as a pretty sane, normal guy.