For those whose kids moved away as adults, how far did they move?

[Meriweather]

My son moved about 850 miles away after college. From Seattle to San Jose.
Then he moved from San Jose to Phoenix.
DD moved in with him and his wife when she graduated college.
We then moved to the same area.
Now DS and his family are about 5 minutes away and DD is 20 minutes.

 

[Jasper&Bowie]

My youngest is a 13 hour car ride away. She is on travel for work a lot so I reach out at least one a week just to check in.

 

[Music City Mama]

Older DS was about 3 or so hours from us during college, but we moved him about 800 miles away to graduate school this summer -- he'll be there 5 years. We also won't see him for Thanksgiving, but will have him home for about 3 weeks over Christmas. Younger DS is still at home, but who knows where either will eventually wind up -- neither my husband nor I lived near our families. We plan to move from here in about 5 years, so maybe the kids will follow us, no telling.

 

[Kitty 34]

My oldest DS (45) and family live the closest; two hous away in a Detroit suburb so we see him and the grandkids quite often.

Middle DS (38) is boarding his plane in one hour. He's heading back to Charleston SC to wife and dogs after visiting with me and Dad and working a few days in his Detroit office.

Youngest DS (36) is an ATC at the Indianapolis Airport. (Will probably spot Michael's plane in his air space) He lives in Indy with his wife and our first born granddaughter.

As hard as it was to say bye as our children moved away years ago we are proud of them and cherish the quality of time we have when they come and visit.

 

[kdonnel]

Are you familiar with the term "American wake"?

That’s not a term I know.

I will read up.

Seems like keeping in touch is so much easier today even compared to just 20 years ago.

I can't imagine leaving home knowing I would more than likely never return, or my kids leaving and knowing I would more than likely never see them in person.

 

[proudmomof4]

I live in Tampa, Florida.

My oldest son lives 15 minutes away.

Second son, went to grad school at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, he stayed there a few years after getting his PhD. He then moved to the Boston area before Covid and then just this past summer, I helped him move to Cleveland, OH.

Third son lives with me and hubby and works at a cancer hospital in one of their clinical trial labs.

My daughter went to grad school in Milwaukee and has stayed there, she's been there since 2019.

 

[MICKIMINI]

NH to TX, but right now he is sitting on the sofa! DL is out having lunch with a friend. They fly back Sunday boo, hoo...

 

[kdonnel]

I also realize I never even thought about how my parents felt or what the impact might be on them when I picked up and moved 160 miles away.

 

[Christine]

That’s not a term I know.

I will read up.

Seems like keeping in touch is so much easier today even compared to just 20 years ago.

I can't imagine leaving home knowing I would more than likely never return, or my kids leaving and knowing I would more than likely never see them in person.

In 1984, I moved away to Japan for 4 years. I had no way to really keep in touch with my friends and my parents and I would have weekly phone calls on Sunday that were very expensive. My how things have change, right?

I will say that when I left home and my whole friend group, the lack of communication for 4 straight years really did change the relationships. I missed weddings, births, and just every day communication. When I returned back to the area, it was really never the same. I think how fortunate people are today with being able to easily stay in touch. I know I would feel a LOT differently if my son was across the country and communication was like it was decades ago.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My youngest moved from California to New York after graduating college. He went to college in Florida, but at least breaks and visits home were regular and predictable and summers were always spent with us. We still see him several times a year but it’s costly and more difficult. The last time we saw him was in July in the Paris airport after meeting up for two weeks in Europe. He’ll be home for four days over Christmas, then we’re planning to meet at WDW in February.

 

[disykat]

One thing that is nice about having kids move further away is that they spend time when they visit (and you will spend time when you visit them.)

One of our sons lives quite close as the crow flies, but it takes about 90 minutes to get to our place from his because of geography. It is close enough that he hasn't spent even one night in our home since he got married to someone who really has no desire to spend time with us or visit his childhood home. (She did come multiple times while they were dating.) They're so close that staying over is never even considered. We do see them, but it's to "do lunch," etc. Prior to marriage he'd still come "home" and stay for a few days for a longer visit but now it's just easier to them (?) not to.

Our other son lives just an hour further from home, (2 1/2 hours in the opposite direction) but he and his significant other come several times a year for a long weekend, we go there and do the same, PLUS we still meet occasionally to do lunch in the middle.

I realize that a lot of it is personality and dynamics, but I think if our older son lived farther, we'd spend MORE time with them. My new thought is you either want your kids close enough to be included in a regular day or far enough away that you can't drive both ways in one day!!

 

[goofyernmost]

First, my youngest moved herself and her family from Vermont 1000 miles away to NC. About 8 months later my older daughter, visited her sister and they liked the area a lot so she moved herself and her family to the same town 1000 miles away. I'm not that easy to shake off, so 5 months later, I retired and moved to same town. That was 14 years ago and we are within a 15 mile radius of each other. We are all close enough and yet far away enough to have our own space but are always there for each other should he need arise. We all lead a somewhat busy life, but major family holidays and special occasions within each family are got togethers for all of us. Not as many as we once had when the grandkids were little, but enough to get on each others nerves, in a nice way and a way I totally enjoy.

I kind of amuses me and others how a family from Vermont ended up in the same place in NC after we all had grown up and established our own families in Vermont. Even my X-wife (their mother) moved here about a year before she passed away and is now buried here in North Carolina. It all seems so surreal and at the same time seems like this is where we belong. I still have a sister and a nephew living in Vermont, but that is it.

 

[Travel60]

My two went to college 4 hr drive (DD) and 10 hr drive (DS) away. So we started getting used to it then. They came home first couple of summers but then had internships last summer.

Both went to Med/Grad school away; DS was 2 long days drive or a flight but his summer research was nearby so he stayed with us for summers.

Both now married with kids. DD with 2 grands is 5 hour drive. DS with one grand is 1+ hour. We see each about once every 5-6 weeks. We do FaceTime often.

 

[amcnj]

The range for me is between about 50 miles to around 3000 miles. The 50 miler I see fairly frequently, the 3000 miler twice a year. I am a believer in the idea that as long as they are happy, I am happy. Though going from daily interactions to twice a year is an adjustment and not my preference!

 

[kdonnel]

One thing that is nice about having kids move further away is that they spend time when they visit (and you will spend time when you visit them.)

That's a good point about visits from kids that are further away!

My daughter lives only about 50 miles away but still sometimes comes home on the weekends. She is getting married in just a few weeks but I think those weekend visits will continue at least for the near future. Here fiance's parents leave nearby and they can combine visits to both sets of parents in one trip.

 

[SirDuff]

I’m the adult child but currently living about 14,000 kilometres from home. We connect via email and video calls. I go home once a year (sometimes more if there are special reasons).

 

[bluezy]

We have 5 adult children. Here's the rundown:

Child #1 - Lives 35 minutes away (married with kids). I see him weekly as I babysit for them one day a week.
Child #2 - Lives 5 minutes away (married -- and I doubt he'll ever live more than 30 minutes away). Sometimes I see him a few times a week, other times I go weeks without seeing him.
Child # 3 - (Married, no kids) Moved to Texas (1700 miles away) shortly after college graduation. After 2 years, moved to NYC (100 miles away). Two years later, moved to CA (2700 miles away) and is still there. He plans to move back to the Mid-Atlantic region in the next year or two.
Child #4 - Lives about 40 minutes away (lives with long-time boyfriend). See them every few weeks.
Child #5 - Currently a junior in college -- 45 minutes away. Talk to her often, but only see her about once a month.

Our son who lives on the west coast comes home every month or two. He's fortunate that he has a good friend who is a pilot for a major airline and has given him flying benefits. He can fly home very cheaply...many times for less than $35. Last Fall he was actually home 4 times in less than 8 weeks. When he lived in NYC, he came home about once a month. When he was in TX, he came home every 2-3 months.

 

[tvguy]

Son, 400 miles. Same state. We see him and our Granddaughters about every two months. They moved there 4 years as my daughter in law took an in person job there. Our son had a remote job and he has switched jobs and his new job is remote too. And it IS where she grew up. That job did not work out, she has a remote job now. So they can live anywhere.

Daughter, 5,600 miles. In Germany. She moved there 13 months ago and has been back once. We anticipate going there eventually, but she has budgeted for one trip home a year. Makes a whole lot more sense for her to come home. Cheaper and easier for one person to make the trip than two, or 7 if her brother, sister in law and nieces went. She went back to school at age 33, quit her career, sold her house and car, and almost all her worldly possessions. Her intent is to live there permanently and get a job. She was dissatisfied with the American system of government (please note she her actions all came over a year BEFORE the last Presidential elections, she is unhappy with the ENTIRE system) And she was dissatisfied with the American Healthcare system. Unfortunately, a year into living in Germany, she feels the same way about both those in Germany.

 

[mmouse37]

Out of our 3 kids 2 live local and only one moved far away. Our youngest is in Colorado (we are in NY) but we see her and her family fairly often. She is coming for a visit in December.

Our other two kids live 5 houses away and 3 miles away so we see them almost every day as we are care givers for our grandkids and we just like to see them (and vice versa).