For those who say teachers should JUST teach . . .

[ducklite]

Her parents will find out soon enough, it's not your place to tell them. But I'd hate to have her tell others that you broke a confidence, and then have another student not want to come to you about something more serious, such as a student who is suicidal or is who had another student show them a gun and tell them they were going to shoot up the school for fear that you will name the student who was the "informer".

As far as prenatal care, suggest she go to a clinic--even Planned Parenthood will offer her first and second trimester prenatal care, and contrary to public belief, will not try to talk her into an abortion, and won't even mention it unless she asks about it as an option.

Anne

 

[RitaZ.]

Wow, that's a tough one. I don't know what I would do if I was in your situation, but, as a parent,I would want to know if any of my children were in any trouble, especially if it involved a pregnancy.

I like Bella's suggestion to tell the parents about the symptoms the girl has been experiencing in your class. You never know how parents will react to such news, just be careful. Good luck tomorrow!

 

[ChrisnSteph]

As a mother I would definitely want to know. Strikes me as odd that this teen girl is going away with her boyfriends family though...that's another story!

However, as a teacher, you would be betraying her confidence by letting the mother know. She may never trust another teacher again, and that's a bad thing. I don't envy the position you are in! Maybe she's just afraid to tell her parents? What would have been ideal is if you could have convinced the student to sit in on the conference, and have her tell the parents then. This is a tough one, and morally I think you should tell the parents, but ethically you shouldn't. Good luck with whatever you decided to do.

 

[chell]

No, I don't think you should tell them. It may end up hurting you in the end as ducklite said. And it may be against the law or some school rules.

Just give them the facts that you do have and let them do the rest.

When her parents do find out she may need to turn to you for emotional support.

 

[luvmyfam444]

I dont' know but the 1st thing that popped into my head was could the parents get you for not telling them? I mean would this fall into the abuse? I know she & bf probably planned it & all - but if she comes back & says she was raped or something & you knew about it could it become criminal? I know in our state if a Dr or teacher suspected abuse & didn't tell the authorities they could be arrested...it happen to a pediatrician @ our dr's office - he was cleared eventually but what a headache.

This may very well be WAY OFF I understand that - but it's what 1st popped into my mind...I'd be nervous!

What does your principal say? Do y'all not have some rules/etiquette about things like this? I can't imagine it being the 1st time it has ever come up.

BUT after all that said I guess I wouldnt' tell the parents outright (unless my boss told me to) I would just hint @ it - that she's been sick, that she has a serious boyfriend, have the taken her to the dr to find out why she's so sick, etc....I can't beleive the parents would be COMPLETELY clueless....ya know?

 

[Marseeya]

As a mom I would want to know. But also as a mom, I hope my child would have a trusted adult to confide in if she needed it, and you sound like that kind of adult. I'd keep it quiet if I were you, or at the least give them some hints that they can figure out on their own.

 

[Wishing on a star]

This is Wishing On A Star chiming in here....

This is a tricky one!!!

I too would be concerned about what is allowed and what is not. Could you give us any idea on what the legal guidelines are in your State and your school system?

On one hand, openly telling the parents may be considered an intrusion, a breach of privacy. But, on the other hand, NOT telling the parents may be a breach of the schools obligation to notifiy the parents of any situation that regards an underaged students health.

Also, like one poster mentioned... could this be considered 'spreading rumor', or has this student seriously confided personally in you that she is really and truly pregnant. The language and the wording that anyone from the school uses should be extremely important! No assumptions should be made. ONLY what you have actually witnessed, and what has been stated to you.

This is indeed a major situation where it is affecting the students health and the students ability to learn in your classroom, and their ability to graduate. So, I am not saying that you should sit there and take no action whatsoever. However, I think you may want to limit your individual personal actions.

As the teacher, I would be VERY hesitant to personally jump in and take any unnecessary control. Perhaps you could set up a meeting for the student with the School Nurse, Guidance Counselor, Principal, etc. Kind of like a group/advisory type thing. And then, let the school handle this on an administrative level. According to school policy and legal guidelines.

Does your school system not have some type of advocacy program for at risk students such as this??? Why would you consider personal intervention on your part, without consulting the appropriate administrators and counselors, etc.. at your school???

Only if there were no other avenues would I even begin to consider whether to take the individual authority to notify the students parents on my own.

 

[disneyjunkie]

As a mother I would want to know NOW.

If I was the mother, I wouldn't tell my the daughter that you told me.
I'd let her think I just noticed on my own.

I happen to believe teacher should/do more than just teach.

 

[phillybeth]

Aren't teachers manditory reporters? if she is under 18 I would report it to CPS and let them take it from there.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Aren't teachers manditory reporters? if she is under 18 I would report it to CPS and let them take it from there.

Report her to CPS for what? Being pregnant? That's just making a bad situation worse, and CPS wouldn't get involved anyways.

 

[Wishing on a star]

CPS!!!

Unless there is evidence that the parents are neglecting or abusing a student, then a teacher has no right to involve the CPS....

To the OP...
I just noticed that are asking, in particular, "What would we, as parents, want..."

Of course, we would all want to know! (No-brainer there) However, I think the most important question is not, what would the parents want, but what is the 'correct' course of action. What action is acceptable, and within the limits, of your role as a teacher. In your case, I would refer the situation to the other administrators and professionals at the school.

And, there is the possibility that this child may have parents that WOULD be offended if you personally told them. You know what they say about bad news... attack the messenger. Unfortunately, these parents could turn out to be some of the few 'Those Parents' that are frequently mentioned... They could very well end up telling you off, and telling you to mind your own business. Even if you are trying not to sound judgmental. The parents are sure to feel judged if you personally and individually just step in.

I would be very very careful about any individual actions on your part.

 

[phillybeth]

Report her to CPS for what? Being pregnant?

Yes. If she's underage it is illegal, and technically rape, child abuse, and sexual assault. I work for a police department and we get lots of 3rd party reports of this nature for 16-17 YOs that are pregnant.

 

[Marseeya]

Yes. If she's underage it is illegal, and technically rape, child abuse, and sexual assault. I work for a police department and we get lots of 3rd party reports of this nature for 16-17 YOs that are pregnant.

But aren't the laws different for that? If it's two 16 yo's having sex it's one thing, but if it's a 20 yo and a 16 yo, it's something different. I don't think it's statutory rape when the kids are the same age or close in age.

If it's illegal for a teenager to be pregnant, our legal system would be clogged forever! What exactly does your department do about it? Just curious.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Sorry, but in most cases, a teen pregnancy is NOT a crime. Two teenagers doing what many teenagers do is not illegal.

In my State, one party has to be an adult, at least X many years older than the other, in order to be considered statutory rape.

In other words... A sixteen year old girl and a nineteen year old guy, engaging in consentual sex, would not constitute statutory rape.

Surely the OP is familiar with the laws in her State.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Yes. If she's underage it is illegal, and technically rape, child abuse, and sexual assault. I work for a police department and we get lots of 3rd party reports of this nature for 16-17 YOs that are pregnant.

It's rape, child abuse and sexual assault, even if the father is a minor as well? Forgive me, but I've never heard of such a thing. I still think calling CPS is unncesscary, and does absolutely nothing to help the situation.

 

[swilphil]

I had a few pregnant students when I taught high school but was never in your situation. What a tough one. If she's 18, it is questionable whether you can tell her parents without violating privacy policies. But there's also the question of what the parents would do if they found out YOU knew and didn't tell them. I'd talk to a counselor, administrator or the nurse to see what the school's procedure is in this case. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

 

[Minnesota!]

No way I wouldn't tell - it's not your place. Just mention you have noticed an unusual amt of absences, her looking ill, etc. They will probably question her themselves and if she wants to tell them, then she will. If nothing else, buy her a bottle of Prenatal vitamins yourself, or tell her where to get them. Seriously - if she wigs out b/c her parents found out from you rather than her - the stress is not good for the baby and who knows what she will do if she is forbidden from attending the holiday get togethers with him..

 

[golfgal]

So, what are you going to do? Curious minds would like to know????

 

[disykat]

My first thought was actually CPS as well if the child was under 18. As a mandatory reporter, a teacher might be required to report if they suspected a lack of proper medical care for a known medical issue. Prenatal care would certainly count. What if something happens to the girl or the baby? I'd talk to my Principal.

A call to CPS does not mean the child automatically gets removed from the home, it means they get social services intervention.

 

[pmcpmc]

I would respect the confidence that the girl has given to you, but I would steer her to talking with the school's nurse or guidence counsilor.