For those who say teachers should JUST teach . . .

[Steamboat Marti]

First of all - thank you for the job you do. I hope my DS has a caring teacher in HS. If she's a drama queen and knew you had the conference scheduled, is there a chance she's making this up to take the heat off being a lazy student? Being pregnant would create the drama she seeks - and suddenly her parents might be less concerned with her poor grades because they are focused on her pregnancy. Either way, you are in A TOUGH SPOT. The best advice is usually "follow your gut". I think it applies here. Good luck.

 

[akhenaten]

Thanks!

This is exactly the kind of scene I'm hoping to avoid. I've been in more than one "damned if I do, damned if I don't" situation at school, and it's always when I really have not done anything wrong! In this situation, for example, my only "crime" is knowing a piece of information.

Wow I can't believe Leighe had such a problem after just telling kids to be careful...I say that to my DD and her friend sall the time !!

I think you made the best choice....and followed policy.....(even though as a parent I would want to be told)
I did not read all of the responses...and I know I mentioned the prenatal viamins..but I in no way meant for you to get them for her!! only to refer her to a source where she can get prenatal care including those...and I would think the school nurse would give her the information needed about where the girl could go...

I know there is a girl inmy DD class pregnantand proud ... at 16.... very sad...

Keep up the good work...at the very least I want my children to have a teacher that cares enough to give such deep consideration to the situations of the students...

Thank you for Teaching and Caring!!!

 

[leighe]

Wow I can't believe Leighe had such a problem after just telling kids to be careful...I say that to my DD and her friend sall the time !!

QUOTE]

That whole year was crazy! I had a group of moms who thought that because I was the cheer coach I should also be the morality police - but not of their daughters of course, just other girls on the squad. If I heard at school that there had been a party or something them they expected me to investigate and if the girls had been drinking or whatever they actually expected me to sit the girls out a game or make them run at practice - something like that. Of course I never did but it did create an awful relationship between me and some of my cheer moms. They thought I was condoning "partying" because I didn't punish cheerleaders who rumor said were partying on the weekends.

 

[Chicago526]

Wow I can't believe Leighe had such a problem after just telling kids to be careful...I say that to my DD and her friend sall the time !!

QUOTE]

That whole year was crazy! I had a group of moms who thought that because I was the cheer coach I should also be the morality police - but not of their daughters of course, just other girls on the squad. If I heard at school that there had been a party or something them they expected me to investigate and if the girls had been drinking or whatever they actually expected me to sit the girls out a game or make them run at practice - something like that. Of course I never did but it did create an awful relationship between me and some of my cheer moms. They thought I was condoing "partying" because I didn't punish cheerleaders who rumor said were partying on the weekends.

Since when is what students do off school property and after school hours the responsibility of teachers? Excluding abuse, it's frankly none of a teachers business!

Wow, I'd never count on a teacher to raise my child for me! They are teachers, not nannies!

 

[piglet too]

I hope that regardless of how this girls parents find out, they will embrace their daughter with the love and support that she will need.

 

[chell]

MrsPete how did your meeting go this morning? Well I hope. Hope you weren't too stressed thinking about the whole situation.

 

[Disney Doll]

Yes. If she's underage it is illegal, and technically rape, child abuse, and sexual assault. I work for a police department and we get lots of 3rd party reports of this nature for 16-17 YOs that are pregnant.

This girl is planning on going away with her BF & his family over the Christmas holiday. Does that really sound like rape to you?????

Perhaps under the technical letter of the law it is, but soesn't calling what is obviously a consensual relaitonship rape diminish those women who really are raped???

It's an issue that will affect both families, true, and additionally, an innocent child. But is it really a criminal act???? I don't think so.

 

[golfgal]

I think they should have something like first-degree sex offenders (who'd be predators who've done the heinous things that people fear) and second-degree sex offenders (who'd be the ones who had sex with the wrong person, but who aren't -- for lack of a better term -- serious perverts or violent offenders).

They do, at least in our state. They are 1st, 2nd, 3rd level. The first level ones are the boyfriends that had sex with their girlfriends and dad got mad and reported him. Second and 3rd level are more serious. The 3rd level are the ones that have to register their whereabouts.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

any updates?
Robin M.

 

[Tracey1974]

I'd like to know how it turned out as well-

 

[phillybeth]

This girl is planning on going away with her BF & his family over the Christmas holiday. Does that really sound like rape to you?????

Perhaps under the technical letter of the law it is, but soesn't calling what is obviously a consensual relaitonship rape diminish those women who really are raped???

It's an issue that will affect both families, true, and additionally, an innocent child. But is it really a criminal act???? I don't think so.

What you fail to understand is yes, BY LAW, it *is* a criminal act if she is underage. An underage person cannot give consent to the act. Neither can a mentally incompetent person or someone who is under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. Lots of things are illegal if you are under the age of consent or not competent, like drinking, smoking, marriage, signing contracts, etc. It is society's way of protecting those who can't protect themselves.

No, it's not forcible rape. But if she is under age, it is statutory rape. If you don't like the law, work to change it. I'm sure the ACLU in your area is working on lowering consent ages. Just don't take it out on those of us who have no choice in enforcing it.

 

[sha_lyn]

She is 17 the op said and is of the age of consent in her state. IT IS NOT RAPE STATUARY OR OTHERWISE Phillybeth, why do you keep insisting it is rape?

 

[RadioNate]

The girl is 17 years old; I looked that up after she left class. Regardless, it's not statutory rape because in our state the "age of consent" is 16 (I looked that up too) and I know her boyfriend (whom I assume is the father) is also a student, so I can't imagine he'd be more than 21. To qualify as statutory rape -- and to make him a sex offender for life in this state -- she'd have to be 15 or younger AND he'd have to be 4 years older than her. Personally, I think those rules are nuts, but that's not the issue here.

Not rape, statutory or otherwise. This website http://www.ageofconsent.com/ has all the states info for those interested.

My department handles it according to state law- under 18 and more than 2 years age difference between the participants, or under 14 regardless of the age difference, makes it at least stat rape.

Everything I"m finding on the internet has the PA age of consent at 16 and more than a 4 year age difference. Has the law been reciently changed?

I'm wondering how the meeting has turned out.

 

[JPN4265]

I have a question for you. Tomorrow I'll be in a tricky situation. I've already decided how I'll handle the situation, but I'm interested in hearing other people's perspective. (And, by the way, this is NOT hypothetical -- I am really facing this nightmare situation tomorrow morning at 7:30.)

The situation: Tomorrow morning I've scheduled a parent conference to talk to a senior girl's parents about her failing grades and excessive absences in my class, which is required for graduation. The girl has been sick in my class several times lately, and she has told me she is pregnant. Her parents don't know, and she doesn't intend to tell them until after Christmas. I strongly urged her to tell them right away; if not for her own sake, then because she needs to get prenatal care for the child (whom she intends to keep). She is adamant that she WILL NOT tell them until after the holidays because she's supposed to go away with her boyfriend's family, and she doesn't want to jeopardize that trip.

If you were the girl's mother, would you want the teacher to tell you, or would you rather another two months go by before you knew the truth?

This is why you have an administration at your school. Go to your boss (principal) and tell him/her the situation. If you keep this to yourself, it WILL BLOW UP in your face. This is a no win situation, and one you by yourself should not be required to handle.

 

[Marseeya]

If the age of consent is 16, then what about two 14 year olds having sex? Which one of them is being raped?

 

[phillybeth]

She is 17 the op said and is of the age of consent in her state. IT IS NOT RAPE STATUARY OR OTHERWISE Phillybeth, why do you keep insisting it is rape?

I'm not, I'm saying it is IF she is underage. IF.

 

[jodifla]

What you fail to understand is yes, BY LAW, it *is* a criminal act if she is underage. An underage person cannot give consent to the act. Neither can a mentally incompetent person or someone who is under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. Lots of things are illegal if you are under the age of consent or not competent, like drinking, smoking, marriage, signing contracts, etc. It is society's way of protecting those who can't protect themselves.

No, it's not forcible rape. But if she is under age, it is statutory rape. If you don't like the law, work to change it. I'm sure the ACLU in your area is working on lowering consent ages. Just don't take it out on those of us who have no choice in enforcing it.

Oh, please. Prosecutors have plenty of leeway in deciding to charge a crime or not. Right now, it's "in" to make as many people as possible sex offenders, so they can say they are "tough on crime."

Meanwhile, teenage lovers get caught up in the system because people want to play politics.

In Michigan, the sex offender list includes everyone from serious predatory criminals, to teenage lovers, some of whom ARE NOW MARRIED TO EACH OTHER! And they are on the list for 25 years! 25 years! How nuts is that.

And yes, people were able to get the law changed recently, but it's still pretty darn Draconian....and not at all helpful in figuring out who is a predator, and who got caught pubically urinating. (The Michigan list doesn't categorize people like most states do, apparently. I'm still studying up on the laws since we got here.)

 

[Wishing on a star]

Phillybeth,

You are making assumptions here.
I think that this varys by State Law.

In my State, I think the age of consent is 'i6'...
Additionally in order to constitute a crime. I think that one of the couple has to be an adult more than three years older than the younger one.

So, in my State, a 16 year old and an 19 year old is.... well... nothing!
Not even Statutory. Just two teens doing what, unfortunately, many teens do.

Just saw the story on GMA about the 15 year old boy who was seduced by a lady who is nearly 40. (she is now carrying his baby) The story mentioned that this was Statutory Rape, because the boy was only 15, and the age of consent in that state is 16. There are charges being pressed in this case. This did constitute a crime.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

If the age of consent is 16, then what about two 14 year olds having sex? Which one of them is being raped?

And what if one is 17, one is 18 and they travel on vacation with his parents to a State where their 2 year relationship suddenly becomes a crime?

I agree, the Sex Offender lists are whacked. When I look up our neighborhood wanting to know who I need to protect my kids from -- I really am not looking for the Had Consenual Sex in High School and Her Mom Didn't Approve List.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Toby's friend....

If it is two 14 year olds, then it is non-consentual. However, what about the requirement that one of the parties has to be of the age of consent. Or, an adult. whichever the case may be.

In other words, it would not be statutory rape, because neither of the children were old enough.

Personally, if this is going on with 13/14 year olds... where are the parents? Would this be a parental liability???