For those who have rencently started dating again

[rileyroosmom]

I am recently dating again after being married half my life. At 44 years old I'm clueless as to the "dating rules".

I recently met a man through an online service. We emailed a few times and had a 2hr phone conversation Saturday night. During the call he asked if I would be interested in going to dinner and a movie the following Saturday night. I said I would but we didn't make concrete plans. I emailed him Sunday to tell him I enjoyed our conversation and was looking forward to hearing from him again. He emailed back saying the same thing and said he felt we had a connection and wished me a Happy Mothers Day. Later that day he called me and asked if I wanted to meet for coffee in an hour. I agreed. We met and had another 2 hour conversation. Walked me to my car, mentioned calling me again and we hugged goodbye.

Now I feel like a teenager again, wondering if he liked me, will we go out again, etc. Against the advice of my sister, I emailed him Monday thanking him for meeting me and the coffee and to say I enjoyed our time together and hoped I"d hear from him again. I didn't hear from him at all yesterday.

So, for those who are dating, how long do you wait? Or by not hearing from him the next day is he not interested? This is both of our first time dating, his situation is very similar to mine, so neither of us really know the rules. So for those who are older, and recently dating again, what do you think?

 

[Robinrs]

Just chill and wait a few days for him to contact you. You did the right thing by emailing him afterwards but now the balls in his court.

BTW, did you like him??? Sounds like you did!

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Well...DBF and I met on eHarmony; our first meeting was also a coffee date on a Sunday. It went really great (we were there for 4 1/2 hours!), we exchanged phone numbers and hugged goodbye...I also emailed him the next day to tell him I had fun and enjoyed meeting him...and he didn't call until Wednesday.

He was just trying to take it slow, that's all. Not be too scary and overexcited. So it's very possible that yours is doing the same thing!

Good luck!

 

[Disney Doll]

You have been nice, polite (by thanking him) and shown your interest.
You initiated the last communication.
I would say the ball is in his court now.
Wait until you hear from him again.

 

[rileyroosmom]

Thanks for the replies. All my girlfriends have been married 20 years so they don't know either.
I guess I do like him, enough to want to see him again. He did talk about wanting to go slow. He is looking for a relationship and doesn't want to play games.
I'm definitely not contacting him again, just thought maybe I made a mistake by thanking him in the email. My sister was adamant that I shouldn't contact him first.
Didn't like dating at 16, don't like it again at 44!

 

[OhMari]

I think you did good.
Your last effort with the e-mail was fine.
Like someone said, the ball is in his court.
He may not have read his e -mails yet.
So give him a week.
Give you credit for at least trying, and now you got your feet wet in the dating world.

 

[flrose]

I agree with all previously said. I believe you did the right thing emailing and thanking him. Also, glad you went for coffee first and not dinner and a movie. Just think how you would have been "stuck" if you went to dinner and it didn't go so well.
Ball is in his court now. take your time and really get to know him.
good luck!

 

[malibuconlee]

From being around all these young un-attached guys my husband works with I've found out the girls worry about this stuff way more than guys do.

He's probably busy at work and didn't take time to respond. Don't sweat it.

As for the "rules", the heck with that. I'm married, but if I weren't I don't have the time or patience for dealing with that crap. If you like him, call him, email him whatever. If he doesn't respond for a long period of time, you'll know he's busy or not interested. Don't play games, they take too much time and energy.

Good luck, sounds like you really liked him.

 

[Jeanne B]

I agree with the others, the ball is in his court...but by the off chance your email went into his spam it wouldn't hurt to email him a second time if a week or so goes by without hearing from him but I'd definitely leave it at that.

I'm 41 and have been out on the dating scene for about a year after a 20 year relationship so I feel your pain.

 

[Tracy Savage]

Ok Iam hooked. Please keep us posted! How exciting for you!

 

[monkeyboy]

We like it when you contact right away.
Life is short don't play games

 

[Imzadi]

Sorry, I think when someone really likes you, the "rules" get tossed out the window. It would have put a smile on his face to read the email. He would have responded back right away. How long has it taken him to respond in the past? Did he respond in a timely fashion, or did it take him a day or so to get back to you? Is it unusual for him to take this long to respond?

I wouldn't send him another email, worrying it went to his spam. If you other emails had gotten through all right, this one should have, too. Plus, again, if HE likes you, wouldn't HE write you, even if he didn't get your email?

That's the whole premise behind, "This guy is just not that into you." When a guy IS into you, they toss out the rules. They know not to let this one go.

For example, after one of your emails: "He emailed back saying the same thing and said he felt we had a connection and wished me a Happy Mothers Day. Later that day he called me and asked if I wanted to meet for coffee in an hour. " No waiting on rules.

Yes, he may be taking his time for a number of reasons. Take YOUR cues off of what he does, more than what he says. In the meantime, hold your heart close.

 

[Elmo9607]

I'm going through the same thing right now!!

It does sound kind of odd that you are initiating all the conversation. For some guys, that makes them feel a bit smothered. Back off and give him a few days. Trust me, if he likes you, he WILL find a way to contact you. I wouldn't worry about not hearing from him for one day.

I have had pretty awful luck on the dating scene, but one thing I do know...I have never gotten a guy more interested in me by trying to contact him constantly.

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[sms]

Let him make the next move. Meanwhile, go on another date with someone else! Don't sit around waiting on the first person you go out with! Enjoy your freedom!!

 

[Imzadi]

...I have never gotten a guy more interested in me by trying to contact him constantly.

Yes, I would stopping including things like, "I hope to hear from you again," or "Looking forward to hearing from you again."

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Let him make the next move. Meanwhile, go on another date with someone else! Don't sit around waiting on the first person you go out with! Enjoy your freedom!!

Ditto.

 

[Starbrite]

Ugghh, I'm just starting back into the dating scene after many years. I forgot how hard it really is!

I met a great guy a couple weeks ago. We chatted for a little while, danced, seemed to hit it off great....and I forgot to give him my phone number What a rookie mistake! Needless to say, I didn't wait by the phone.

 

[Imzadi]

Ugghh, I'm just starting back into the dating scene after many years. I forgot how hard it really is!

I met a great guy a couple weeks ago. We chatted for a little while, danced, seemed to hit it off great....and I forgot to give him my phone number What a rookie mistake! Needless to say, I didn't wait by the phone.

Sounds like he also forgot to ask for your number and make sure to get it. Don't feel so bad. Something was a miss as a whole about this one. Move on! There's another dance in your future.

 

[tiff211]

Add me to the recently dating again......the scene is waaaay different. We should have our own thread!

I think you should wait until he contacts you. I don't read and respond to all my emails right away. He seems like he likes you!

And I agree with a PP. Don't put all your eggs in 1 basket. Enjoy your freedom. Have those 1st date butterflies all over again.