for those who have given birth a question...

[GEM]

Originally posted by goofygirl
Family, and especially the husband/baby's father should be at the hospital near the room, but not IN the room.

Sorry, but that seems like a really bizarre comment since every doctor and nurse I have ever spoken to has really encouraged my husband to be there for the birth of our child. They all go on about how wonderful it is that he is at all my appointments and what an amazing experience the birth will be for him. I wouldn't dream of not having him with me for the birth of OUR child. Thankfully, every medical professional I know agrees that he should be there if he wants to, which he very much does.

As for other people, we will probably have several family members and friends around during the early stages. But, when it gets down to business, my husband is the only one who will be staying in the room for the actual birth.

I really don't see any reason you shouldn't have whoever you want in there, as long as there aren't so many people as to get in the doctor's way. The official policy at the hospital where we will be having our baby is that you can have three "support" people with you. They can be friends, relatives, doulas - whatever. You really can't compare childbirth and surgery. They are two totally different situations.

 

[believe]

Initially only DH, nurses and doctor was going to be in the room but....

DD#1-last minute has sister in the room. This was great since she handled getting footprints in DD's baby book and signatures. She handled all the things I would want later but wasn't thinking about.

DD#2-My sister and my Mom.

They stayed at the head of the bed.

I wouldn't change my decision, but I also would not add anyone else unless MIL wanted to (she opted out on DD#2).

 

[snoopy]

I would have loved to have had my Mom there, she was alive for my first child. But she declined, she said she had 9 babies, she knew all too well what having a baby was like.

So it was just me, DH and the doctors and nurses.

 

[Kermit]

I completely agree that there's no medical reason why you can't have some people in there with you. If it's too many people for the medical professionals to get around, or if there's an emergency, or if any of the people are interfering with the doctors, then there's a reason to kick some people out. But husbands should definitely be in the room. The major reason is that women would labor all by themselves most of the time if it weren't for their husbands. Nurses just check on them occassionally and the doctor just shows up at the end to catch the baby.

Birth is a natural process. There are things that can go wrong, and it has been more dangerous throughout history, but it's not like surgery for the majority of women. It's just a natural process that happens to be accompanied by a little more pain and work than most natural processes.

 

[paras4ri]

Only DH for both births.....one "normal" delivery and one c-section. I laugh to even picture MIL there because she still can't bring herself to say "pregnant".....the best she can manage is "in the family way"

A question for those who design delivery rooms....why does the bed have to be facing the door, so the first thing anyone sees when coming in is mom......in all her glory!!!

 

[Jeafl]

Just DH, doctors and nurses for me. And that was plenty!

My SIL is a labor/delivery nurse at a Univ. of Michigan hospital and you wouldn't believe some of the stories she tells me. One of my favorites is a woman who had more than 10 people in the room with her including her mother's new boyfriend. He was in a wheelchair and insisted on being at the foot of the bed. Even after the doctor told him he was in the way, he kept wheeling himself right up to the edge to get a good look. The strange part is that the woman in labor had never even MET this man before. He was a total stranger! The mother insisted that he be there. In addition to the mother and boyfriend, she had 3 of her other small children (who were crying hysterically), a couple of sisters and a brother in law. (I'm not even sure I would let any of my BIL's in the same HOSPITAL while I was giving birth let alone in the room with me!) The doctor had to eventually call security to get that circus out of the room. A fight broke out, but they all eventually left. In the meantime, security got to watch her push too.

 

[Shannon G]

My bil's ex-wife had a baby at home and her inlaws were in there too.

Oh my God!!! Nothing would freak me out more than the thought of my FIL being there - yuck!!!

DH and I debated this very subject a few months ago, before DD was born. I was adament that he be the only one there besides Dr & nurses. I know my mom and SIL would have liked to be there, but I thought that this was something for DH and I to experience together, just the two of us. We were starting a family of our own, and it was important to me that we experience it as a family of our own. I did tell mom and SIL that I may consider letting them be there next time, but I'm not sure what I will decide.

I actually told everyone else that I didn't even want them coming to the hospital. I didn't want to have people coming in and expecting to see and hold the baby just after I delivered - IMO, that time was for DH and I to meet our child - the rest of the family can wait. AT our hospital, they really try to leave the baby with mom for a while right after the birth (as long as everything is normal), so they can bond. DD was born, midwife suctioned her nose & mouth, and then placed her on my chest, where she remained for almost an hour before they did even weighed her or finished cleaning her (the nurse wiped her up while I was holding her, but her stomach was against me, so that didn't get completely cleaned until they took her later). It was wonderful having her given to me immediately like that, and I can't imagine having to share that time with a group of other people all wanting to see her and hold her. I'm the mom and I get to have my turn first!

We told everyone that we would call them and tell them when it was okay to come to the hospital - which would likely not be until a couple of hours after delivery. As it happened, DD was born at 12:05 a.m., so we told everyone to just wait and come the next morning.

 

[Blondie]

For both of my deliveries it was just me, DH, the doctor and a couple of nurses. That's it. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

 

[Pembo]

When I was in labor with DS#1, my mom, dad, s-i-l were all there and my brother stopped by with my then 9 yo niece. I remember her coming in and I was in ALOT of pain. I said to her HI honey, I love you, bye now. I ended up with a c-section so only dh was with me for the birth.

I did have quite a crowd visit me after DS#1 and I really wanted them all to leave!!!! I felt horrible after my C-section and they just stayed and stayed. BLEAH!

DS#2 and DD it was just dh & me and the hospital people. I would have liked my mom to be there with dd but she was at Cedar Point sleeping on their boat with ds#1.

 

[SonjaB]

DS#1 it was me, (now ex-) H, doctor and nurses. With DS#2 I allowed my mom to stay as well. She had had two c-sections in '68 and '70, was knocked out for both and had never seen childbirth. I remember seeing her eyes get as wide as plates and start ever-so-slowly backing away when I started pushing the baby out, heheheheheheheee. Don't tell her I told you all that.

 

[SeaSpray]

DH was with me during both labors and deliveries and was a huge help, feeding me ice chips, cooling me off with a cold wash cloth, etc. We had a STILL camera with us, to take pictures immediately after the delivery, not during. The anaesthesiologist took the camera from us at one point and got some shots of DH and I, and the baby, seconds after the birth

No video till we got back to my room. LOL

My parents and In-laws were at the hospital and were able to see the babies very soon after birth. They got some wonderful pictures of the nurses giving DS14 his very first bath They were taken through a glass window but look as clear as if they had been standing right next to the nurse. When I had DS11, they didn't take him to bathe him until quite a while later. They kept the baby with me, and he stayed with me in the recovery room as well, and didn't take him until we had gotten settled in the room.

 

[zurgswife]

Let's see.....

1st DD....at a hospital....DH, Midwife, 2 nurses, me, and a video camera ( my family Dad, mom, stepmom, sister) all watched it afterwards..

2nd DS...at a birthing center...DH, Midwife, 1 nurse

3rd DS...at a birthing center...Dh, Midwife, 1 nurse (almost didn't count cause she barely made it there in time, and an entire birthing class downstairs....( I think I might have scared a few...all natural no drugs...little loud)

4th DD...at a birthing center....DH, Midwife, 1 nurse (barely got this one there before baby was born.)

So, not to many people...but even if I had invited any most probably would have missed because I'm fortunate to have hard, quick deliveries....Sorry....

 

[Michelle]

I had my husband ONLY, along with the doctor and nurses. I would not want any other family members in there, I tend to withdraw from others when I'm in pain and I don't like an audience.

 

[dizneenut]

Well, my DH was overseas (Navy) when I had my first DS, so I had my mom, the doctor & the nurses. For my 2nd DS, DH was overseas, AGAIN, and I had my mom, dad (he taped the birth), doctor and nurses. For the last 2 DS's it was my DH, doctor, and nurses.

 

[Kitty 34]

With my oldest DS, only my SIL, a nurse and the Dr. was there (DH was in the service )

With middle DS, it was DH, nurse and Dr. made it there 3 minutes before I delivered.

With the youngest, only DH and the nurse were there and she delivered our youngest DS. Dr. showed up 20 minutes later.

 

[iluvorlando]

Just DH, me and the nursing/doctors, both times. First time, MIL was in the room but left as soon as I got into the gown. I didn't want an audience!!

 

[JohnTBap]

I intended on having DH and my mom present but when I had not one but TWO emergency C sections, it wasn't possible. So, just DH.

 

[candykisses]

Just DH, doctors and nurses for me. My mother wanted to be in the room, but I told her that she had already been to three birth of her three and that would have to be enough. Now before anyone thinks that was mean....please remember that this is the same woman that faints every time she see blood.

My doctor was happy that I didn't want anyone else. She said that it's hard with so many extra people milling around.

 

[goofygirl]

Please give birth before you make comments that you really have no idea about

No need to get nasty! I am entitled to my opinion whether I've given birth or not.

And just because you can give birth at home doesnt mean its a good idea. Childbirth is a medical procedure, whether you care to believe it or not. It involves the removal of something (in this case, a baby) from the body of a human being. Its not to be taken lightly.

 

[browneyes]

Goofygirl, you'd be horrified to know I had my kids in the room with me when I had my stitches taken out after I had my wisdom teeth taken out. That's a medical procedure too.

As much as I would've loved to been able to pick my SO up and throw him out the window when I was in labor with our ds, if he had not been there, I would've been hurt and he would've missed out on welcoming his son to the world. When he could manage to get himself out of the recliner to come be near me, he stayed at the head of the bed. He didn't see much of the birth, but he was there. He said he got an eye full when we had our dd. He's a little weak in the knees when it comes to even a wee bit of blood. Our ds had to be delivered 3 weeks early due to fetal distress. If our ds had died during birth, he would NEVER have forgiven himself for not being there. Luckily our ds didn't die, and luckily my SO was there.