? for our African American members

[Rajah]

Fantasia, they're DOLLS!!!! I love their face paintings, and they're such cuties!

 

[Disney Doll]

lol no way! he's all mine! j/k!

I also like the vanilla, chocolate references, my ds(9) uses them too. He calls himself milk chocolate or caramel

Oh OK... I guess you can keep him!!!

 

[NCDisneyMom]

I had a friend in college who was of "mixed" races (I don't remember which two they were...sorry), and he had a very unique skin tone. Before coming to college, he worked at a Wendy's. His coworkers decided that his skin coloring looked just like one of their food items, and thus he became 'Frosty' (the ice cream, Blizzard-type dessert that they have). He even brought that name to college with him. Come to think of it, I don't even remember what his real name was!

 

[ioneblair]

Seems to me that your own community needs to unify before you can fight racisim in the community at large.

may seem that way at first blush reasoning....actually no, you don't have to unify within to effectively join with whomever is against it.....just like you don't really have to unify with family members all outing an abuser within before you can cry out against abuse with all who are anti-abuse......(anyway, racism among blacks is just reflective of racism at large, and for ex in this country, spawned by it)

we use such a variety of terms and as said earlier, it can sometimes have to do with generations.....saying black I find is generally just fine among the black community no matter what our skin color is......

The oldest relative we traced back in our family tree was English (with a name like Lancaster, thats no real surprise). I guess that makes me an English-American. Good thing I wasnt born 230 years ago, I would have been at war with myself

had to post this again WDWHound.....very humorous....my kids (thus the now generation) find black just fine even though they are technically just so mixed up.....(aren't most of us?).....their paternal grandfather was Japanese (so Dad has been mistaken for everything from Puerto Rican to Hawaiian) and when contacts came out, everyone assumed I was wearing colored lenses (green, blue, grey, hazel, some kind of colored eyes I have)....not to mention my grandmother looked like you just plucked her right out of a teepee.....

please.....just say black.....

 

[*Fantasia*]

Thanks Tammi and DisneyPhD!

 

[arminnie]

My children call themselves "Brown" because of their skin color.. and it's our last name too!

They are also stunningly attractive (handsome and beautiful) and I love their smiles.

 

[arminnie]

awww thank you! I would tell him you said so but he'd just say "I know I am!" lol he's getting a big head these days.

He is one fine looking young man!

 

[luvthatduke]

I have a bi-racial son that we adopted (DH and I are white),
and this thread has been very eye-opening for me.

I do have a sincere question for anyone who does
not consider themselves white,
(my apologies to the OP for temporarily hijacking the thread):

When describing someone - a coworker, new friend, teacher, etc.,
do you say anything like, "This 'white' teacher I have is really nice,"
or, "Joyce, the 'asian' lady at work,"
or, "See the 3 guys over there? I think I know the 'hispanic' guy."

I ask this because I've begun to wonder if this is germane
only to white people,
and do you consider it offensive that many whites seem
to constantly add a racial description when discussing someone
or pointing out someone who isn't white?
I'm getting more and more uncomfortable with people doing it
around my son, but I wonder if I'm overreacting.
I'm just really curious to know if the description is reversed
among other groups of people and/or cultures - TIA for your opinions!

 

[Marseeya]

I ask this because I've begun to wonder if this is germane
only to white people,
and do you consider it offensive that many whites seem
to constantly add a racial description when discussing someone
or pointing out someone who isn't white?
I'm getting more and more uncomfortable with people doing it
around my son, but I wonder if I'm overreacting.
I'm just really curious to know if the description is reversed
among other groups of people and/or cultures - TIA for your opinions!

I hope I don't get in trouble for saying this, but I think it's so natural for all of us to see a difference in one another, and I don't believe there's anything wrong with that as long as it's not done in a negative or hurtful way.

Right now I'm taking a multicultural education class (working on my masters in education) and one of the values this class is trying to teach us for the classroom is to appreciate diversity, rather than ignoring it, even in physical appearances. It's something we'll surely face in the classroom with kids who will remark on it, so we're being taught to turn it around into something positive for all the kids.

Just as an example, let's say one child makes fun of another for her dark skin. The teacher wouldn't rebuke that child, but would instead draw attention to the beautiful chocolate color of the other child's skin and then go on to find positive things to say about the "offending" child's skin color as well. That's just an overly simplistic example.

Even before I took this course, every time someone would say, "I don't see skin color, I only see the person beneath" I would feel a little sad, as if the differences were something shameful that should be overlooked. I know people don't mean it that way, but what's so wrong with acknowledging and appreciating our differences?

 

[princesspumpkin]

I have a bi-racial son that we adopted (DH and I are white),
and this thread has been very eye-opening for me.

I do have a sincere question for anyone who does
not consider themselves white,
(my apologies to the OP for temporarily hijacking the thread):

When describing someone - a coworker, new friend, teacher, etc.,
do you say anything like, "This 'white' teacher I have is really nice,"
or, "Joyce, the 'asian' lady at work,"
or, "See the 3 guys over there? I think I know the 'hispanic' guy."

I ask this because I've begun to wonder if this is germane
only to white people,
and do you consider it offensive that many whites seem
to constantly add a racial description when discussing someone
or pointing out someone who isn't white?
I'm getting more and more uncomfortable with people doing it
around my son, but I wonder if I'm overreacting.
I'm just really curious to know if the description is reversed
among other groups of people and/or cultures - TIA for your opinions!

Nope, it's not germane to only white people. Blacks/AA do it as well. If it's said as a way to distinguish one person from another (like there is a group of people, and one is different from the rest and that's the one that you're talking about, I don't see a problem. It's the same as if everyone in the group was men and there was one woman and she was the one that you were talking about. You'd say "the woman" not, "the one with the orange bracelet" If it has absolutely no relevence to the story, I don't see the point in distinguishing color. I do have white friends who specifically say "black" if the person is black and it hardly ever has to do with the story. But, I also know black people who say "white" when it has nothing to do with the story as well. I don't understand it.

 

[snoopy]

I have a bi-racial son that we adopted (DH and I are white),
and this thread has been very eye-opening for me.

I do have a sincere question for anyone who does
not consider themselves white,
(my apologies to the OP for temporarily hijacking the thread):

When describing someone - a coworker, new friend, teacher, etc.,
do you say anything like, "This 'white' teacher I have is really nice,"
or, "Joyce, the 'asian' lady at work,"
or, "See the 3 guys over there? I think I know the 'hispanic' guy."

I ask this because I've begun to wonder if this is germane
only to white people,
and do you consider it offensive that many whites seem
to constantly add a racial description when discussing someone
or pointing out someone who isn't white?
I'm getting more and more uncomfortable with people doing it
around my son, but I wonder if I'm overreacting.
I'm just really curious to know if the description is reversed
among other groups of people and/or cultures - TIA for your opinions!

I do this, and I also think you make a good point.

I think I say "the black guy" because I want to set up my listerner with a description of the person I am referring to. But I'm pretty sure I don't say "the white guy"....I might say "the guy with blonde hair and blue eyes", indicating to my listener that he is white, but I don't actually use the word white.

When you point it out, I guess I see where it might be offensive. I certainly don't mean it that way though. I have friends that are of a different race and I will have to ask them if they do the same thing when describing white people -- sort of categorize them in to one big group like that.

 

[Pop Daddy]

when Im talking sports with me friends (black and white) we often say "black guy" or "white guy" when talking of a player

 

[ioneblair]

When describing someone - a coworker, new friend, teacher, etc.,
do you say anything like, "This 'white' teacher I have is really nice,"
or, "Joyce, the 'asian' lady at work,"
or, "See the 3 guys over there? I think I know the 'hispanic' guy."

no I don't and neither do any of the friends and family I'm with, mostly black but certainly of other races and nationalities.....as a regular part of everyday speech.....when talking about other people in general......we just say man, woman, boy, girl.....maybe with an adjective like little girl, teen, etc......there is no need to distinguish a race or ethnicity every time we mention a person LOL, (I didn't know people did that ) and that has nothing to do with not acknowledging differences.....

we may add an ethnic or racial adjective only if it is germane to what we are speaking of at the time....just sounds pretty awkward always saying "white", "black", "puerto rican" in front of every person you refer to.....

 

[Southern4sure]

no I don't and neither do any of the friends and family I'm with, mostly black but certainly of other races and nationalities.....as a regular part of everyday speech.....when talking about other people in general......we just say man, woman, boy, girl.....maybe with an adjective like little girl, teen, etc......there is no need to distinguish a race or ethnicity every time we mention a person LOL, (I didn't know people did that ) and that has nothing to do with not acknowledging differences.....

we may add an ethnic or racial adjective only if it is germane to what we are speaking of at the time....just sounds pretty awkward always saying "white", "black", "puerto rican" in front of every person you refer to.....

I was just about to post this when you posted....Thanks! I agree that I have never heard people described like this in general talk. In one of your examples, my DS would come home and say Ms. (teachers name) is a fun teacher. Color would not have any reason, good or bad so why is that important in description?

 

[tiff211]

I call myself black and most of my friends and family do as well. My grandmother says "our people".

I still don't get why peeple say "I don't see a color, I just see the person" That's take away from our cultures and cultural differences, which is not a bad thing.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

If I was describing a person I would say black person if they were the only one in the group. Same way I would say white person, spanish etc.
For example at work we have a department of 5 people in which their is one black person. that's how we all describe her if someone needs her.

 

[crazyforgoofy]

For example at work we have a department of 5 people in which their is one black person. that's how we all describe her if someone needs her.

I don't think you meant to make it sound the way I "heard" it. It sounds like you refer to everyone else by their name but describe her by her ethnicity?!

And I don't always "notice" differences. I don't mean to be color blind but sometimes I just am.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I still don't get why peeple say "I don't see a color, I just see the person" That's take away from our cultures and cultural differences, which is not a bad thing.

ITA

I'll never understand how someone can say they don't see color.

Whenever I hear that I always wonder if it's possible for someone to not notice race, do they also not notice gender?

OH, and I refer to myself as black.

 

[ioneblair]

I still don't get why peeple say "I don't see a color, I just see the person" That's take away from our cultures and cultural differences, which is not a bad thing.

hmm....well I wouldn't interpret this too literally, I mean I think we need to understand each person's meaning when they say this, (that's where perception and discernment comes in, something that we use all of the time in listening to others, understanding what they really mean and are really saying) everyone saying this may not all mean the same thing that is that they do not acknowledge that we are all different colors and races.....for ex, one could mean that they see the person firstly, that they are actually acknowledging ones personhood and humanity, and respecting that, before what color a person happens to be.....or one could mean that they do not buy into stereotypes and all of the mental baggage that goes along with that, but that they see the individual apart from that while still literally seeing that they are colored white or black or asian or green (LOL just wanted to throw an unusual color in.....otoh some people have been known to become green )

.....or......

anyway, I wouldn't want everything I said to be taken so literally, would you?

btw, race and gender, while they can be related in certain contexts, are not equal in most contexts.....what I mean is that they aren't exactly interchangeable or the same in conversation, so they aren't always analogous, I just don't see the analogy here

 

[arminnie]

If I saw three guys with dark hair all wearing white tshirts, jeans, and tennis shoes who were all about the same size, I might refer to the white guy or the black guy if that was the only way to distinguish which person I was referring to.

I have several bi-racial cousins in my family. I don't think I've ever said "my black cousin" when talking about one of them. I have three little girl cousins about the same age that play together. One is black and two are white. If I were trying to point out the one who was not white I would probably refer to the clothes that she had on and not refer to her as the black one unless they were all dressed alike.

The father of one of my bi-racial black cousins is white, and he and I have discussed what a beautiful color she is and that the white relatives look kind of pasty white and colorless next to her.

Many, many years ago (over 20 years) a friend of mine was raped. I can't tell you how many people asked if the rapist was black. I didn't know - I never asked. What difference would that make?