? for our African American members

[JVL1018]

I will describe someone by their ethnicity at times.
For example at my daughter's tap class last week one of the little girls was absent.
We were trying to figure out who it was(class just started so we don't know her name yet).
I finally remembered it was a Korean girl, as did another Mom.
the other Mom says Oh you know who isn't here--the girl with long dark hair, she's tall, has long legs..and everyone was like hmmmm-I can't recall, I said she's the Korean girl and everyone said Ohhh, yes! Okay I remember her.
I think it is odd NOT to use ethnicity to identify someone in a situation like that.

Other times I wouldn't. My daughter goes to school and is good friends with a girl who is Filipina-I wouldn't describe this little girl as Filipina because the bulk of her class is Filipino so it wouldn't make sense.
There is one other white girl in my daughter's class and if I needed to point her out to someone I would say the white girl..or the blonde girl as she's the only blonde in class.

 

[Shugardrawers]

Count me in as someone who thinks people who say they don't see color are being just a little too pc. Of course they do. Seeing a person's color doesn't make you racist. In a place like I live, where a majority of the population is actually black, you really do need to specify race even if that person is white. If you say 3 men went to the store and bought steaks for the bbq, it doesn't really matter. If you want to thank the men who bought the steaks then you probably need to specify they were the black men or white men over at that table. It just makes it easier to pick them out. In the case of my OP, the tv show I was watching did have something to do with the man's race and that's why I said "there's this black man". If race plays no part in the story or you don't need to know that to pick the person out, then it doesn't need to be mentioned. This thread sure beats the days when my dad would tell n***** jokes at the table and we didn't really think it was bad.

 

[Dan Murphy]

black/white works for me.

 

[SeeDisney]

I have a good friend who is black and she and her husband both hate the term African-American.

 

[Marseeya]

anyway, I wouldn't want everything I said to be taken so literally, would you?

Well, I've spoken to people regarding this topic and the ones I've talked to do mean it literally, and you can't get them to admit otherwise!

 

[Southern4sure]

hmm....well I wouldn't interpret this too literally, I mean I think we need to understand each person's meaning when they say this, (that's where perception and discernment comes in, something that we use all of the time in listening to others, understanding what they really mean and are really saying) everyone saying this may not all mean the same thing that is that they do not acknowledge that we are all different colors and races.....for ex, one could mean that they see the person firstly, that they are actually acknowledging ones personhood and humanity, and respecting that, before what color a person happens to be.....or one could mean that they do not buy into stereotypes and all of the mental baggage that goes along with that, but that they see the individual apart from that while still literally seeing that they are colored white or black or asian or green (LOL just wanted to throw an unusual color in.....otoh some people have been known to become green )

.....or......

anyway, I wouldn't want everything I said to be taken so literally, would you?

btw, race and gender, while they can be related in certain contexts, are not equal in most contexts.....what I mean is that they aren't exactly interchangeable or the same in conversation, so they aren't always analogous, I just don't see the analogy here

I do see color, I just dont use color as a way to describe an individual with common everday chit chat. For example: a few years ago I heard the statement, "she is pretty for a black woman." Why would it matter what color, the lady was pretty? I would have said, that lady is pretty. I hope you can understand what Im trying to say.

 

[ioneblair]

I hope you can understand what Im trying to say.

LOL yep I got your meaning.....loved that example....

Well, I've spoken to people regarding this topic and the ones I've talked to do mean it literally, and you can't get them to admit otherwise!

ok.....

well this just prompted an off-topic thought for me....I just think it's so interesting that from each one's relatively limited exposure (I mean how many people do we interact with on any given subject irl?) that one can then apply some things across the board towards whomever (read everyone henceforth) says or does the same thing.....or whenever that thing is said or done, I'm sure I've misinterpreted things many times filtering things from just my own experience.....that's one of the reasons I try to take a pause and consider before I peg what another must mean....sometimes I even explain myself and see that my own explanation isn't quite what I mean and I have to give it another go......

ok, back to the topic at hand.....

 

[Keli]

It is never my intention to offend anyone and I have found myself using the term African-American because I thought that was the preferred term. I see from this thread that isn't necessarily the case. Ah, human interactions can be so complicated at times...

 

[sm4987]

The term black doesn't bother me at all either. It's a general term, and trust me I know far worse words people could use to describe black people!

 

[J.Cooper]

I prefer "black" rather than African-American. DH just laughs when people say African-Amercian. He doesn't look at us as true African-Americans. So we prefer black instead. Someone I know prefers being called Negro .

 

[Tiggerlover91]

Someone I know prefers being called Negro .

 

[CherCrazy]

The Teddy Roosevelt quote was amazing. I think I'll keep it for the next time one of my kid's teachers tries to have a "where are you from" moment. I have always found those moments to be so ridiculous. We are AMERICAN, for goodness sake. When they wanted me to send in ethnic foods, I sent in apple pie.

 

[mamaprincess]

Fantasia, my children also call themselves brown because of there skin color. They say there grandmother and one of there aunts and any "white" person is peach like the crayon.
I like being connected to the continent of my ancestors even though I am not so sure where exactly our roots began within the vast continent of Africa. We Americans all come from different places in the world. All of us have origins else where and it's nice to acknowledge all of that. It's part of what makes America so awesome.

My husband is from Ghana, he is proud of that as well as his American status.

 

[wvjules]

Can all black people trace their heritage back to Africa? If not, then African-American seems kinda silly if one is not truly "African" American.

 

[mamaprincess]

Can all black people trace their heritage back to Africa? If not, then African-American seems kinda silly if one is not truly "African" American.

A black person is a person of African descent however many generations he may be removed. The majority of the people that make up the black population here in america are those descendants of the west africans brought here at the inception of this country. I honor their struggle and all they did for this country and all they did to insure that we would inherit a wealthy and awesome nation where oppurtunities abound. that is why it is important for this particular woman to identify as both African and American just as Americans with ancestors from other continents identify themselves as both irish, italian, german, polish american etc. I'm not so much a race as I am a daughter of those mothers that endured so I can live the beautiful life that I am living. I understand that. Being proud of that aspect of myself makes me more open to your greatness and our beauty as a whole. We all collectively bring so much complex history, so many strengths to the table. I am so proud of our nation. We are indeed the melting pot and that fact should be fully embraced not shoved in a closet. I say these words with nothing but love for every american of every bloodline. I am an American woman of African descent and I am equally proud of both.

 

[Tiggerlover91]

A black person is a person of African descent however many generations he may be removed. The majority of the people that make up the black population here in america are those descendants of the west africans brought here at the inception of this country. I honor their struggle and all they did for this country and all they did to insure that we would inherit a wealthy and awesome nation where oppurtunities abound. that is why it is important for this particular woman to identify as both African and American just as Americans with ancestors from other continents identify themselves as both irish, italian, german, polish american etc. I'm not so much a race as I am a daughter of those mothers that endured so I can live the beautiful life that I am living. I understand that. Being proud of that aspect of myself makes me more open to your greatness and our beauty as a whole. We all collectively bring so much complex history, so many strengths to the table. I am so proud of our nation. We are indeed the melting pot and that fact should be fully embraced not shoved in a closet. I say these words with nothing but love for every american of every bloodline. I am an American woman of African descent and I am equally proud of both.

VERY WELL SAID! EXCELLENT POINTS!

Sheesh...you make me proud to be an American woman of African descent!

 

[SRUAlmn]

I have a very close friend, Mike, who is black. I once asked him, during a deep converstaion regarding race whether he preferred African-American or whether he preferred black. His response, "I prefer Mike."

It really made so much sense. Why are we so quick to try to label and be pc? People are People. I mean, my mother is German, my father is English and I have ancestors that are Scots Irish. I don't tell people that I would prefer not to be referred to as white and instead be referred to as a German English Scots Irish American. Come on!

 

[Aidensmom]

To answer the original question, one of my good friends wants to be referred to as black, she does not like being called African-American. However, I know other people that don't like the term black. Among the people I know, it seems to be a personal preference.

To give an opinion on some of the topics this thread has taken on, I do think everyone sees color, but I don't think it matters to everyone. What I mean by that is of course someone sees the color of your skin, just as they see the color of the car you drive or the color of the shoes you wear. But not everyone makes judgements based on color.

I said this on another thread a while back and got some hostile remarks for it, but I do think that when you are trying to describe a particular person to someone, it is not a big deal to say what color they are. I live on a street that is a block long, and it is very racially and ethnically diverse - of the 15 or so families here, we have a pretty even mixture of black/AA, white, hispanic, asian, and middle eastern. We don't know everyone, as not everyone on the street is all that social. So sometimes if DH or I are referring to one of the families on our street when talking to each other, we will use color/ethnicity to make it clear who we are talking about. For instance, I told my husband yesterday "the little boy across the street said he is 7 years old." As DH does not know their names, he asked if it was the black child or the white child I was referring to. I don't see a problem with that. However, if someone is just describing a situation, such as "I saw this woman today with the most beautiful shoes", where race/ethnicity doesn't matter in the least, and they added that in anyways ("I saw this hispanic woman..."), then I would suspect that that person did make judgements based on that.

 

[mamaprincess]

I have a very close friend, Mike, who is black. I once asked him, during a deep converstaion regarding race whether he preferred African-American or whether he preferred black. His response, "I prefer Mike."

It really made so much sense. Why are we so quick to try to label and be pc? People are People. I mean, my mother is German, my father is English and I have ancestors that are Scots Irish. I don't tell people that I would prefer not to be referred to as white and instead be referred to as a German English Scots Irish American. Come on!

You have every right to self identify as you wish. That's one of the many great things about this country.
We all make our choices and thank goodness we have the right to choose what to think and the freedom to express our diverse opinions.

 

[mamaprincess]

VERY WELL SAID! EXCELLENT POINTS!

Sheesh...you make me proud to be an American woman of African descent!

Thankyou so much for your kind response. It's all about sharing information and trying to understand one another and I try to do it in the spirit of love. I hope that more than anything else comes across.