THE JOURNEY
Wednesday 17th August / Thursday 18th August
Well - pretty uneventful start really - Brother & Sister-in-law take us to the station - we get the train to Gatwick - Walk to the hotel! (Yes - I did say walk!
) - check in and walk (again) back to the airport for dinner.
We made the mistake of letting the kids decide where they would like to eat tonight - so - after a 20 minute queue for our food - we dine in luxury at McDonald's! Now it's not that I dislike fast food - it's just that when I'm on holiday I like to try new places if I possibly can.
While I am queuing - a lady walks up to the counter from the back of the queue to ask the only girl serving why it is so slow - "Because it's busy - in'it" she replies impatiently in her best Catherine Tate impression - "you'll just have to queue up with the rest of them - wowncha'!"
It must be so inconvenient having to serve customers while you are trying to concentrate on using a till!
After our "gourmet" meal we take a wander around the shops but most are either closed or closing so we buy a couple of magazines and some sweets from W H Smiths and stroll back to the hotel.
We are all a bit nervous about the flight tomorrow - especially Joyce who has by now stopped walking and is floating six inches above the ground on the cocktail of tranquilisers she is taking to ease her nerves!
We have upgraded our seats to Sunshine Upper Deck but are a bit uncertain as to how much of an upgrade that really is. Last year I really felt uncomfortable in the main cabin - I'm 6'3" and legroom is just not a word that could be used to describe what the passengers get in economy! I'm told that an extra couple of inches upstairs can make all the difference. At least - thats what my wife keeps telling me!
Back at the hotel we debate whether to book a taxi to get us to the airport or whether to walk it again in the morning. It's not far but it is a bit of a trek with all the cases and hand luggage. We decide to save the £6.00 each and walk - a decision that some will regret tomorrow!
We say goodnight and retire to our respective rooms.
Morning comes around very quickly and we are soon lugging our belongings across the car park. The thought springs to mind - "Why have we paid all that extra money to upgrade our flight and yet we are too tight to pay for a taxi to take us half a mile to the airport?" I decide to ask the question out loud and it seems that every other member of the party is thinking the same thing! They are all looking at me - "What?" I say incredulously "It wasn't my suggestion"
Cyril gives me that Captain Mainwaring look from Dad's Army and mutters "Stupid Boy!" under his breath.
Ricky is having trouble breathing as he is weighed down by his backpack which contains a laptop, I Pod, CD player, DVD Player, 52 inch widescreen plasma TV and a few other assorted "essentials" for the flight!
Lena is on her knees crying "water......water"
Hannah is on the mobile to the Child Protection Agency.
Joyce is Ok though - she's floating along on her own little cloud!
.I don't really know what the fuss is all about!
We work up quite a good sweat on the way over and are ready for breakfast as we enter the front doors of Gatwick.
Now we are Brits and are used to queuing for everything so when we reach the TCD priority check-in desk I find it quite disconcerting that we are simply invited to walk straight up to the desk to check in! I look around for a queue to join but nobody will let me in - we simply book in - check our luggage in and that's it - 10 minutes and were all done! Wow - that was easy!
Don't worry dear readers - the world gets it's own back (big time!) at the other end of our journey! - more of that later......!
Garfunkles is my choice for breakfast this year and the fare is very acceptable - I'm almost forgiven!
Joyce can't eat anything though as she is now on "Defcon 3" and the nerves are in tatters!
Now don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that she has taken anything illegal - but there are two Alsatians and a Springer Spaniel that are very interested in her hand luggage! They are now escorting her every where she goes!
After another quick wander around the shops we go through to "Air-side".
Cyril sets off the alarms as he walks through the metal detector and despite trying to explain that he has a heart valve which always causes this - he still gets a body search and has to remove his belt, braces, neck tie, three piece suit, overcoat, garters, spats and bowler hat (his dress sense is a bit old fashioned!). Joyce dis-owns him instantly and tells the guy on the desk to arrest him as he looks a bit dodgy! Nice try Joyce!
There is the usual round of mooching in shops and coffee drinking while we wait to be called through to the departure gates. The excitement and apprehension build in equal amounts and Joyce take another two or three bottles of mogodon washed down with a couple of pints of gin!
I have to say - at this point I do start to question my insistence that we bring the in-laws with us on this trip! Will they be able to keep up with our legendary eating and park hopping exploits or will this all be too much for them. The doubts had already started to creep in when I learned that Joyce had packed her slippers in her hand luggage for the plane!
Also playing on my mind was a very strange event the day before yesterday when I saw Cyril searching high and low around his kitchen.
"What are you looking for?" asked Joyce
"A tape measure" he replied.
"Why do you want a tape measure" she asked.
"To measure the goldfish in the pond" he responded - as if it was the obvious answer.
"Oh - OK - its in the bottom drawer" she said - as if it was the logical answer!
I can only assume that he wanted to see if they had grown when we get back - if not - then if anyone else can suggest a plausible explanation (I dare not ask him!) then please reply on a postcard. The winning entry will be drawn from a hat and a prize of two weeks with my in-laws awaits!!
(Second prize is three weeks!!!)
When we get to the gate we are called to board first and again I find it feels very strange not to have to queue up behind a million others before we can get on the plane!
As we climb the stairs to the upper deck I am looking for the seat numbers and getting closer and closer to those lovely spacious seats on the first row - thinking to myself "there's no way we will be lucky enough to get that much leg-room". As we reach our designated number I can't believe my eyes - it's true - we have bagged the front row! Wow - I plonk down with Ricky and stretch my long legs out.
In front of me is about six feet of leg-room - unbelievable! What a result! So - me, Ricky and Lena sit in the front row with Joyce, Cyril and Hannah (the three short legged ones!) sitting directly behind.
I have to say that this is the best flight that I have ever had. It's probably the best flight I ever will have unless, of course that twit who does the lottery ever puts my balls into one of his machines! I swear they're not in there! I'd like to put his balls in a machine - but thats another story - one that carries a three to five year stretch!
Anyway - during take off we start to make conversation to try to distract Joyce from her nerves and the stewardess sitting in front of us says "Sorry - but I couldn't help but overhearing you - my parents live in your town - it's where I grew up and went to school!" Well - it turns out she was at school with our eldest son and his cousin and knows him well! It's a small world isn't it? After all - it's a small world after all - it's a small world after all - it's a small, small world - sorry!
Charlie tells her colleague and they make a real fuss of us throughout the flight - especially Joyce who by this time is so frightened - she has bitten all of her fingernails off up to the elbow!
Myra and Charlie (our hostess's) present her with one of the First Class flight packs as a distraction and we all get double alcoholic drinks - Hannah is high as a kite after six "Baileys" but she seems to be enjoying the flight!
I must say that the cabin in front of ours looks very nice too - they have extra wide seats with seatback TV's and even more legroom - I think this is called Sunshine Premium.
Maybe next time eh?
The meal is pretty good (for Airline food) - we have a roast chicken dinner with tata-tots and green beans followed by raspberry and white chocolate cheesecake, cheese & biscuits and tea & coffee. Later on we are served a fresh cream and jam scone with tea & biscuits.
Funny - I can remember everything we ate but I have no idea what films we watched during the flight.
So far everything has gone so smoothly that I begin to fear that something must happen soon to disrupt the proceedings! I don't have too long to wait!
Unfortunately the Upper cabin stewards who got us on the plane first - forget to get us off the plane first and we end up at the back of a very long queue to get through passport control.
After what seems like an age we reach the passport control desk and have a retinal scan. I resist the urge to try and cover one eye and read the bottom line of the notice behind him for fear of a full "cavity search"! I crack a (very) small joke about the "rectal" scan but withdraw rather quickly when the chap in the uniform behind the desk put on a rubber glove and actually offers me one! My humour is just not appreciated here!
However - this short delay is nothing compared to the two and a half hours that we have to wait for the baggage to be unloaded from the plane! There is a thunderstorm outside and the airport authorities will not allow the baggage handlers to unload the planes for fear of a lightening strike so we have to simply wait in the baggage hall. In retrospect - we were lucky - the planes that arrived minutes after us were not even allowed to disembark and had to sit on the runway for almost three hours! I guess it makes the priority check in a bit superfluous really!
Once we get through to the land-side we feel better and put all the woes behind us. (I think they were behind us last year too - stop following us will you!)
I go to collect our car keys from the Dollar desk and I am introduced to the upgrade supervisor!
"Would you care to upgrade Sir?" she asks.
"What to?" I retort.
"An eight seater" she answers.
"But there are only six of us!" I reply
She looks a little disappointed to have made such a poor start to the bartering session.
"Look - I know I'm a bit overweight but these are not twins you know" I joke - patting my stomach.
She gives up -all too easily. No contest!
I lead the party out to the car park and find our ride - a metallic silver Dodge Caravan - just like "Happy" last year - but due to the average age of the occupants being slightly higher this year we nickname him "Jaunty".(as in Jaunty Bus)
Off we go - and straight away we take a wrong turn which takes us about 15 miles in the wrong direction before we realise!! We double back and start again!
Having learnt from a mistake last year where I apparently raised my voice to Lena - I accept full blame for this error in navigation (even though Lena has a pictorial map that I printed out - in the passporter - on her lap - while she navigates!) and we remains on speaking terms for a while longer!
Once we get back on the Florida Greenway we're OK and are soon speeding along in the right direction.
Finding Highlands Reserve is pretty easy this time as we were at Bahama Bay last year which is virtually opposite this site. The journey is smooth for the rest of the way and we find the correct exit for the Osceola Parkway at Junction 3 this time and are back on Disney property once more. It's good to be home again! We take the Sherbeth Road short cut up to the 192 and on to the US27.
We collect our villa keys from the Regal Palms reception and drive to "1170 Northampton" to our "executive" villa.
Now I'm sure that in the US - Northampton sounds quite "posh" and "English" as there is a big fuss made about "The Hamptons" in New York - but to be honest - it doesn't do much to reassure me! Not that there is anything wrong with Northampton - it's just not a name that I would associate with "Luxury executive villas"........
To be honest - the villa is a bit dissapointing! The description of "executive" is a bit of an overstatement! It would have been more accurate to describe it as "basic". The furnishing is a bit cheap looking and sparse (only one bedside table and no TV's in any of the four bedrooms!) and there is no lanai or shade whatsoever on the deck around the pool. I think that perhaps we have been spoiled with all the upgrades we have been getting!
We are too tired to make a fuss so we pick rooms and get to bed as soon as possible.
It is only 10.00pm in Orlando but thats 3.00am to us at the moment!
It's been a long day and all the hanging around at the airport has taken it's toll on us all.
Were scheduled for Magic Kingdom tomorrow - a "first day tradition" but I think we will wait and see how everyone feels in the morning.
Wednesday 17th August / Thursday 18th August
Well - pretty uneventful start really - Brother & Sister-in-law take us to the station - we get the train to Gatwick - Walk to the hotel! (Yes - I did say walk!
) - check in and walk (again) back to the airport for dinner.We made the mistake of letting the kids decide where they would like to eat tonight - so - after a 20 minute queue for our food - we dine in luxury at McDonald's! Now it's not that I dislike fast food - it's just that when I'm on holiday I like to try new places if I possibly can.
While I am queuing - a lady walks up to the counter from the back of the queue to ask the only girl serving why it is so slow - "Because it's busy - in'it" she replies impatiently in her best Catherine Tate impression - "you'll just have to queue up with the rest of them - wowncha'!"
It must be so inconvenient having to serve customers while you are trying to concentrate on using a till!
After our "gourmet" meal we take a wander around the shops but most are either closed or closing so we buy a couple of magazines and some sweets from W H Smiths and stroll back to the hotel.
We are all a bit nervous about the flight tomorrow - especially Joyce who has by now stopped walking and is floating six inches above the ground on the cocktail of tranquilisers she is taking to ease her nerves!
We have upgraded our seats to Sunshine Upper Deck but are a bit uncertain as to how much of an upgrade that really is. Last year I really felt uncomfortable in the main cabin - I'm 6'3" and legroom is just not a word that could be used to describe what the passengers get in economy! I'm told that an extra couple of inches upstairs can make all the difference. At least - thats what my wife keeps telling me!
Back at the hotel we debate whether to book a taxi to get us to the airport or whether to walk it again in the morning. It's not far but it is a bit of a trek with all the cases and hand luggage. We decide to save the £6.00 each and walk - a decision that some will regret tomorrow!
We say goodnight and retire to our respective rooms.
Morning comes around very quickly and we are soon lugging our belongings across the car park. The thought springs to mind - "Why have we paid all that extra money to upgrade our flight and yet we are too tight to pay for a taxi to take us half a mile to the airport?" I decide to ask the question out loud and it seems that every other member of the party is thinking the same thing! They are all looking at me - "What?" I say incredulously "It wasn't my suggestion"
Cyril gives me that Captain Mainwaring look from Dad's Army and mutters "Stupid Boy!" under his breath.
Ricky is having trouble breathing as he is weighed down by his backpack which contains a laptop, I Pod, CD player, DVD Player, 52 inch widescreen plasma TV and a few other assorted "essentials" for the flight!
Lena is on her knees crying "water......water"
Hannah is on the mobile to the Child Protection Agency.
Joyce is Ok though - she's floating along on her own little cloud!
.I don't really know what the fuss is all about!
We work up quite a good sweat on the way over and are ready for breakfast as we enter the front doors of Gatwick.
Now we are Brits and are used to queuing for everything so when we reach the TCD priority check-in desk I find it quite disconcerting that we are simply invited to walk straight up to the desk to check in! I look around for a queue to join but nobody will let me in - we simply book in - check our luggage in and that's it - 10 minutes and were all done! Wow - that was easy!
Don't worry dear readers - the world gets it's own back (big time!) at the other end of our journey! - more of that later......!
Garfunkles is my choice for breakfast this year and the fare is very acceptable - I'm almost forgiven!
Joyce can't eat anything though as she is now on "Defcon 3" and the nerves are in tatters!
Now don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that she has taken anything illegal - but there are two Alsatians and a Springer Spaniel that are very interested in her hand luggage! They are now escorting her every where she goes!
After another quick wander around the shops we go through to "Air-side".
Cyril sets off the alarms as he walks through the metal detector and despite trying to explain that he has a heart valve which always causes this - he still gets a body search and has to remove his belt, braces, neck tie, three piece suit, overcoat, garters, spats and bowler hat (his dress sense is a bit old fashioned!). Joyce dis-owns him instantly and tells the guy on the desk to arrest him as he looks a bit dodgy! Nice try Joyce!
There is the usual round of mooching in shops and coffee drinking while we wait to be called through to the departure gates. The excitement and apprehension build in equal amounts and Joyce take another two or three bottles of mogodon washed down with a couple of pints of gin!
I have to say - at this point I do start to question my insistence that we bring the in-laws with us on this trip! Will they be able to keep up with our legendary eating and park hopping exploits or will this all be too much for them. The doubts had already started to creep in when I learned that Joyce had packed her slippers in her hand luggage for the plane!
Also playing on my mind was a very strange event the day before yesterday when I saw Cyril searching high and low around his kitchen.
"What are you looking for?" asked Joyce
"A tape measure" he replied.
"Why do you want a tape measure" she asked.
"To measure the goldfish in the pond" he responded - as if it was the obvious answer.
"Oh - OK - its in the bottom drawer" she said - as if it was the logical answer!
I can only assume that he wanted to see if they had grown when we get back - if not - then if anyone else can suggest a plausible explanation (I dare not ask him!) then please reply on a postcard. The winning entry will be drawn from a hat and a prize of two weeks with my in-laws awaits!!
(Second prize is three weeks!!!)
When we get to the gate we are called to board first and again I find it feels very strange not to have to queue up behind a million others before we can get on the plane!
As we climb the stairs to the upper deck I am looking for the seat numbers and getting closer and closer to those lovely spacious seats on the first row - thinking to myself "there's no way we will be lucky enough to get that much leg-room". As we reach our designated number I can't believe my eyes - it's true - we have bagged the front row! Wow - I plonk down with Ricky and stretch my long legs out.
In front of me is about six feet of leg-room - unbelievable! What a result! So - me, Ricky and Lena sit in the front row with Joyce, Cyril and Hannah (the three short legged ones!) sitting directly behind.
I have to say that this is the best flight that I have ever had. It's probably the best flight I ever will have unless, of course that twit who does the lottery ever puts my balls into one of his machines! I swear they're not in there! I'd like to put his balls in a machine - but thats another story - one that carries a three to five year stretch!
Anyway - during take off we start to make conversation to try to distract Joyce from her nerves and the stewardess sitting in front of us says "Sorry - but I couldn't help but overhearing you - my parents live in your town - it's where I grew up and went to school!" Well - it turns out she was at school with our eldest son and his cousin and knows him well! It's a small world isn't it? After all - it's a small world after all - it's a small world after all - it's a small, small world - sorry!
Charlie tells her colleague and they make a real fuss of us throughout the flight - especially Joyce who by this time is so frightened - she has bitten all of her fingernails off up to the elbow!
Myra and Charlie (our hostess's) present her with one of the First Class flight packs as a distraction and we all get double alcoholic drinks - Hannah is high as a kite after six "Baileys" but she seems to be enjoying the flight!
I must say that the cabin in front of ours looks very nice too - they have extra wide seats with seatback TV's and even more legroom - I think this is called Sunshine Premium.
Maybe next time eh?
The meal is pretty good (for Airline food) - we have a roast chicken dinner with tata-tots and green beans followed by raspberry and white chocolate cheesecake, cheese & biscuits and tea & coffee. Later on we are served a fresh cream and jam scone with tea & biscuits.
Funny - I can remember everything we ate but I have no idea what films we watched during the flight.
So far everything has gone so smoothly that I begin to fear that something must happen soon to disrupt the proceedings! I don't have too long to wait!
Unfortunately the Upper cabin stewards who got us on the plane first - forget to get us off the plane first and we end up at the back of a very long queue to get through passport control.
After what seems like an age we reach the passport control desk and have a retinal scan. I resist the urge to try and cover one eye and read the bottom line of the notice behind him for fear of a full "cavity search"! I crack a (very) small joke about the "rectal" scan but withdraw rather quickly when the chap in the uniform behind the desk put on a rubber glove and actually offers me one! My humour is just not appreciated here!
However - this short delay is nothing compared to the two and a half hours that we have to wait for the baggage to be unloaded from the plane! There is a thunderstorm outside and the airport authorities will not allow the baggage handlers to unload the planes for fear of a lightening strike so we have to simply wait in the baggage hall. In retrospect - we were lucky - the planes that arrived minutes after us were not even allowed to disembark and had to sit on the runway for almost three hours! I guess it makes the priority check in a bit superfluous really!
Once we get through to the land-side we feel better and put all the woes behind us. (I think they were behind us last year too - stop following us will you!)
I go to collect our car keys from the Dollar desk and I am introduced to the upgrade supervisor!
"Would you care to upgrade Sir?" she asks.
"What to?" I retort.
"An eight seater" she answers.
"But there are only six of us!" I reply
She looks a little disappointed to have made such a poor start to the bartering session.
"Look - I know I'm a bit overweight but these are not twins you know" I joke - patting my stomach.
She gives up -all too easily. No contest!
I lead the party out to the car park and find our ride - a metallic silver Dodge Caravan - just like "Happy" last year - but due to the average age of the occupants being slightly higher this year we nickname him "Jaunty".(as in Jaunty Bus)
Off we go - and straight away we take a wrong turn which takes us about 15 miles in the wrong direction before we realise!! We double back and start again!
Having learnt from a mistake last year where I apparently raised my voice to Lena - I accept full blame for this error in navigation (even though Lena has a pictorial map that I printed out - in the passporter - on her lap - while she navigates!) and we remains on speaking terms for a while longer!
Once we get back on the Florida Greenway we're OK and are soon speeding along in the right direction.
Finding Highlands Reserve is pretty easy this time as we were at Bahama Bay last year which is virtually opposite this site. The journey is smooth for the rest of the way and we find the correct exit for the Osceola Parkway at Junction 3 this time and are back on Disney property once more. It's good to be home again! We take the Sherbeth Road short cut up to the 192 and on to the US27.
We collect our villa keys from the Regal Palms reception and drive to "1170 Northampton" to our "executive" villa.
Now I'm sure that in the US - Northampton sounds quite "posh" and "English" as there is a big fuss made about "The Hamptons" in New York - but to be honest - it doesn't do much to reassure me! Not that there is anything wrong with Northampton - it's just not a name that I would associate with "Luxury executive villas"........
To be honest - the villa is a bit dissapointing! The description of "executive" is a bit of an overstatement! It would have been more accurate to describe it as "basic". The furnishing is a bit cheap looking and sparse (only one bedside table and no TV's in any of the four bedrooms!) and there is no lanai or shade whatsoever on the deck around the pool. I think that perhaps we have been spoiled with all the upgrades we have been getting!
We are too tired to make a fuss so we pick rooms and get to bed as soon as possible.
It is only 10.00pm in Orlando but thats 3.00am to us at the moment!
It's been a long day and all the hanging around at the airport has taken it's toll on us all.
Were scheduled for Magic Kingdom tomorrow - a "first day tradition" but I think we will wait and see how everyone feels in the morning.
we are going TCD 13th april and have booked sunshine first 
look forward to reading the next part. 
