FIVE MEN WANTED BY FBI FOUND WORKING IN WHITE HOUSE
Fugitives Were Not Involved in Key Policy Decisions, Fleischer Says
Five men who had been wanted by the FBI for illegally slipping over the border from Canada were arrested over the weekend after they were discovered working at the White House, press secretary Ari Fleischer said today.
While Mr. Fleischer acknowledged that it was somewhat embarrassing for five men who had been the subject of such an intense manhunt to turn up on the White House payroll, he applauded the efforts that led to their ultimate arrest.
According to Mr. Fleischer, the five men, who had somehow obtained jobs setting up tents on the White House lawn for official receptions, were first spotted over the weekend by the Presidents twin daughters, Barb and Jenna Bush.
On Saturday night Barb and Jenna came forward and said, We think we saw those five guys the FBI is looking for setting up a tent outside, Mr. Fleischer said. At first, the Secret Service discounted their story, because Barb and Jenna are always seeing things, especially by the time Saturday night rolls around.
While Mr. Fleischer emphasized that the five men were merely setting up tents and played no key policy role in the Administration, EPA Director Christie Whitman later revealed that she saw the five men in a Cabinet meeting last week.
I wasnt sure who those five guys were sitting there, Director Whitman said. I thought they might be the Presidents new economic team.
Now that the five have been found, the FBI plans to turn its attention to finding Sen. Trent Lott (R-Miss.), who disappeared off the face of the earth two weeks ago.
**Borowitz Reports***
Fugitives Were Not Involved in Key Policy Decisions, Fleischer Says
Five men who had been wanted by the FBI for illegally slipping over the border from Canada were arrested over the weekend after they were discovered working at the White House, press secretary Ari Fleischer said today.
While Mr. Fleischer acknowledged that it was somewhat embarrassing for five men who had been the subject of such an intense manhunt to turn up on the White House payroll, he applauded the efforts that led to their ultimate arrest.
According to Mr. Fleischer, the five men, who had somehow obtained jobs setting up tents on the White House lawn for official receptions, were first spotted over the weekend by the Presidents twin daughters, Barb and Jenna Bush.
On Saturday night Barb and Jenna came forward and said, We think we saw those five guys the FBI is looking for setting up a tent outside, Mr. Fleischer said. At first, the Secret Service discounted their story, because Barb and Jenna are always seeing things, especially by the time Saturday night rolls around.
While Mr. Fleischer emphasized that the five men were merely setting up tents and played no key policy role in the Administration, EPA Director Christie Whitman later revealed that she saw the five men in a Cabinet meeting last week.
I wasnt sure who those five guys were sitting there, Director Whitman said. I thought they might be the Presidents new economic team.
Now that the five have been found, the FBI plans to turn its attention to finding Sen. Trent Lott (R-Miss.), who disappeared off the face of the earth two weeks ago.
**Borowitz Reports***
