First trip need advice on rest room etiquette for DS

[Dani784]

Yes, she has every right to expect to feel safe in a bathroom designated for her gender. This discussion always comes up, and never are the feelings of the girls taken into consideration. Apparently they just have to suck it up so that the mom's of boys can feel better.

But girls aren't expected to use the bathroom with the gender that molested them. Boys are. You want to talk statistics, how about the fact that over 95% of molesters are men and their primary target is young boys? Of course I won't be escorting my 13 year old son to the restroom. He'll always have fear but then he'll be old enough and strong enough to fight back. We're talking little boys and yes, nine is little.

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[luvmy3]

OP, if you are still reading, DISboards posters tend to be conservative on bathroom issues. However, if you bring your nine year old son into the restroom with you, nobody will say anything. It’s not a big deal, and your child’s safety comes before other people’s comfort levels.

But that is the thing, this isn't about his safety, its about the comfort level of the mom. Why does her comfort level for her son come before the comfort level of the women/girls using their bathroom?

 

[IowaTater]

OP asked for opinions, that's what she got. Just because most do not agree with each other does not make them "critical" of the OP.

Unless I misread her response, I believe OP stated that 1) he looks older than 9 and 2) he would be standing outside the stall while she was inside.

What's not to say the women's restrooms are any safer than the men's if the mother doesn't have a constant eye on him?

And who's to judge if one person's comfort/safety is above another persons? Maybe one of the little girls that are in that same restroom as the little boy was molested by a young family member? Maybe a mother changing their child's diaper has had an experience with a young male molesting her child?

As I stated before, no one knows anyone else's history. I still stick with my opinion that it would be better/more comfortable for some if he was in a stall or they used the companion bathrooms.

OP, I hope you have a wonderful trip and that we've offered a bit of insight for you. I also hope that you have not taken any of our opinions personally, because as you can see, this is a rather heated topic and some people feel the need to have peeing contests whenever someone posts something controversial.

 

[luvmy3]

But girls aren't expected to use the bathroom with the gender that molested them. Boys are. You want to talk statistics, how about the fact that over 95% of molesters are men and their primary target is young boys? Of course I won't be escorting my 13 year old son to the restroom. He'll always have fear but then he'll be old enough and strong enough to fight back. We're talking little boys and yes, nine is little.

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I have a 9 year old. Right now his 9 year old friend is in my pool, that boy is at tall as my 12 year old ds. He is far from little.

Yes and 88% of molesters are known to the victim. What is important here are the stats on how many molestations have occurred in WDW's restrooms by complete strangers. Anyone know that one?

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

But that is the thing, this isn't about his safety,

Sure it is.

 

[luvmy3]

Sure it is.

No it isn't, its about perceived danger, which isn't the same.

 

[Gracie09]

But girls aren't expected to use the bathroom with the gender that molested them. Boys are. You want to talk statistics, how about the fact that over 95% of molesters are men and their primary target is young boys? Of course I won't be escorting my 13 year old son to the restroom. He'll always have fear but then he'll be old enough and strong enough to fight back. We're talking little boys and yes, nine is little.

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Well if you bring Tween boys into the ladies room you are expecting them to. Look at the numbers. Molesters overwhelmingly know and groom their victims. They are teachers neighbors friends coaches clergy not the guy waiting in wait in the bathroom. A bathroom used by men go are fathers uncles cousins etc who would not hesitate to step in and help if a young boy was being made uncomfortable or attacked. And girls are much more likely to be molested than boys.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

No it isn't, its about perceived danger, which isn't the same.

The bottom line is nobody is going to say anything, and Disney cannot tell a mother she cannot bring a nine year old into the bathroom.

 

[Talking Hands]

Here is a link to allears.net that show the location of companion restrooms.
I would recomend using these.

These are COMPANION restrooms Family restrooms. They are meant for people who need assistance with their personal needs where the companion is not of the same sex or there is insufficient room in a regular handicapped stall. Unless he has such a need he should be using the men's room.

 

[geraghty]

Thank you. I have often wondered this myself (and I am female). There are NOT naked women roaming around in the restroom!

Now, taking a female into a men's room with urinals - nope, that's not right.

I have been a proponant for years of having unisex bathrooms. Yup, unisex bathrooms. Everyone uses a freaking stall. No more long lines at the women's and no more urinals for the men. Honestly - what do you have at home?

Don't try and take away our urinals. We need them. We would pee on trees if there was not laws against it. For the most part men's restrooms are usually disguisting. Even with the urinal some punk who thinks he's better than everyone else goes into a stall and attempts to pee standing up and ends up peeing all over the seat. Trust me, you don't want unisex restrooms. Most men are very clean, but the 10% who are not can do a lot of damage to a restroom. I have taken my dd (6) into the men's rooms and I have no problem with that. Almost all urinals have side walls so you would have to try really hard to see anything. If I had to use a stall, I would use the companion restroom because I would not leave her to stand outside waiting on me. If I had to pee I would have her wait just inside the door of the men's room. If she has to go, I would let her go by herself because I know the women's restrooms are usually much cleaner than the men's. Trust me, I would be right outside the women's restroom, listening to make sure I heard her voice. I too would be one of those weirdos calling for her if she took too long or it was in a less busy area.

 

[Allison]

The bottom line is nobody is going to say anything, and Disney cannot tell a mother she cannot bring a nine year old into the bathroom.

Sorry, but you don't know that nobody is going to say anything.

9 is too old. Mom can wait outside the door while she sends him into the men's room.

 

[Dani784]

Well if you bring Tween boys into the ladies room you are expecting them to. Look at the numbers. Molesters overwhelmingly know and groom their victims. They are teachers neighbors friends coaches clergy not the guy waiting in wait in the bathroom. A bathroom used by men go are fathers uncles cousins etc who would not hesitate to step in and help if a young boy was being made uncomfortable or attacked. And girls are much more likely to be molested than boys.

I'm so glad you are so knowledgable about the subject. Nine years old is hardly a tween. And I sure wish it had been a family member who touched my son as it would have been easier to catch him. And the statistics I've read say boys are actually victimized more because they are less likely to report it. It's a shame thing to them. The only reason my son told was because A. He was four and didn't know what embarrassment was and B. we've always taught our kids about good touch/bad touch.

We were lucky because there was no physical damage but he's still emotionally damaged and sometimes that's worse.

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[geraghty]

These are COMPANION restrooms Family restrooms. They are meant for people who need assistance with their personal needs where the companion is not of the same sex or there is insufficient room in a regular handicapped stall. Unless he has such a need he should be using the men's room.

The OP is a companion. Her son is under the direct care of her, and she feels he can not navigate a restroom by himself. He is a male and she is a female. Whether you or I or anyone else feel she is being over protective is not the point. Those restrooms are there for those that need them and by your very definition, she fits the profile of those who should be allowed access.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

Sorry, but you don't know that nobody is going to say anything.
.

Well, you're right, but they will not be kicked out. There is no law in Florida and Disney has no rule.

 

[luvmy3]

The bottom line is nobody is going to say anything, and Disney cannot tell a mother she cannot bring a nine year old into the bathroom.

Of course not, that wouldn't be good customer service. Doesn't mean they don't think a 9 years is too old though, which is what we are discussing.
The OP asked, and while she may find that nobody cares enough to say something, she may find someone who does.

 

[mom2rtk]

I have to say I thought of these "boys in the ladies room" threads when I was just at Disney and had to put down the seat on the toilet before I could use it. You know..... in the ladies room.

Moms, I know you'll do what you do. Nothing I say will make anybody less overprotective. But if you MUST bring your boys into the ladies room PLEASE make THEM touch the seat to put it down.

 

[luvmy3]

I have to say I thought of these "boys in the ladies room" threads when I was just at Disney and had to put down the seat on the toilet before I could use it. You know..... in the ladies room.

Moms, I know you'll do what you do. Nothing I say will make anybody less overprotective. But if you MUST bring your boys into the ladies room PLEASE make THEM touch the seat to put it down.

At least they put it up

 

[stargazertechie]

The OP is a companion. Her son is under the direct care of her, and she feels he can not navigate a restroom by himself. He is a male and she is a female. Whether you or I or anyone else feel she is being over protective is not the point. Those restrooms are there for those that need them and by your very definition, she fits the profile of those who should be allowed access.

Her child is physically and cognitively capable of taking care of his own toileting needs.

Here's a good litmus test- do you have to assist the person with their toileting needs at home? If yes and they are over an age that is appropriate to bring them into the stall with you, you head to a companion restroom.

If no- time to let the child grow up.

 

[Granny square]

I never understand women feeling uncomfortable about young boys in the Ladies Restrooms. Womens Restrooms have cubicles, it's not like anyone can see anything. This is very different to mens rooms.

There are many disabled/companion toilets throughout WDW which you can use if you're uncomfortable letting him use the bathroom alone.

I totally understand where you are coming from. In Australia a few years ago, a young girl was sexually assaulted and murdered in a shopping centre bathroom in the middle of the day. It's awful and rare but sadly, it does happen.

No one is uncomfortable with young boys in the ladies room. People, especially with daughters, don't want tween boys in the restrooms with their daughters who should be able to consider the ladies room to be for ladies.

9 is 5 or 6. 9 is old enough to use the restroom on their own. Especially in a well lit family establishment.

If you are going to avoid every situation that has potential for danger you won't go it do anything ever.

 

[mom2rtk]

At least they put it up

Well, I guess there's that.