Thank you all so much. You are making this much easier, and making me more confident with my decisions. So I am now down to....
1. 10 days at OKW with
DDP
or
2. 10 days at WL with DDP (although this is going to really stretch the budget).
No car
After the comments from you I am happy to go with the OKW, but my heart is really set on WL now, if only for the fact we can get a boat to MK!!! I need to go through my figures and see.
Rach
i've stayed at both WL and OKW multiple times and love them both, although if truth be told, i love WL more. But they're both nice and both have advantages and disadvantages.
so lets do the pros and cons and see if that helps you out a bit:
WL
Pros:
all rooms in one building
- good food court (for counter service credit)
- good on property restaurant that charges 1 TS credit (whispering canyon cafe)
- good signature restaurant (charges 2 TS) - but with little kids i wouldn't waste my credits here if i were you
- boat to MK (some people hate this because it takes time - i LOVE it, i find it very relaxing)
- beautiful landscaping (and you can walk over to fort wilderness to visit the ponies there). The landscaping and building really make you feel like you're in a national park in the northwest. I think it's just lovely.
- easy to get to everything in the resort - it's all connected in one building and with the outdoor recreation right there behind the building
- no need to rent a car
- it's a stunningly beautiful hotel - i don't think anyone would argue with that. Unique looking and beautiful.
Cons:
- the room is very small - all 4 of you will be in a small room (you can request a bunkbed, which helps a bit with space)
- there is a small fridge in the room, but nothing else (fridge is good for keeping milk, juice, so that you can eat breakfast in the room if you like)
- expensive - it is expensive, especially considering the size of the room. But expense is just one of the factors to consider.
OKW
Pros:
- larger rooms. Whether you take just a studio, where all 4 of you will be in one room, or a 1 bedroom, where you'll have a master bedroom and the kids can be in the living room - you'll have much more space.
- kitchen in room. If you take a studio, you'll have a little kitchenette, with small fridge and i believe a microwave (i've never stayed in a studio, only in a 2 bedroom). If you stay in a 1 bedroom, you'll have a big beautiful full kitchen. Having that kitchen can be very convenient when you travel with young children.
- The 1 bedroom also has its own en suite laundry room with washer and dryer. (the studio doesn't have this - you have to use the communal laundry room, same as at WL).
- good price for what you get
Cons:
- the buildings are spread out over a very large area. You could be assigned a room that is very far from the main building. While there are buses, it makes it more difficult to get to the main building (and the main pool). You might get a room by one of the quiet pools, so you'd have pool access that way.
You can request a building near the main building, but it's not guaranteed.
- no food court.
- the TS restaurant is only so so and there's nothing special about it.
- probably easier with a rental car - i've never stayed here without a car. Because of how spread out it is, unless you get a room near the main building, i think it would be difficult without a car
Conclusion?
Looking at the pros and cons, and given that this is your very first visit to WDW, i think i might go with the Wilderness Lodge if i were you. You have small children, so the single small room might not be so bad for you.
We did it a lot when the kids were small.
And the WL is a spectacular hotel, there's no question about it. Really beautiful. One of a kind.
so if you can manage it, i think i'd advise you to go for 10 days at WL on the DDP.
on the other hand, if you're considering a one bedroom at OKW, that kitchen is definitely nice to have. As is the en suite laundry room.
we also did that when the kids were small - take a one or two bedroom suite with full kitchen. We ended up eating in the room a lot when we did that. The kids were little and fussier eaters back then.

And if you take a 1 bedroom, the food court becomes irrelevant. Once you have that kitchen, you'll be able to buy what you need in the little OKW store to prepare breakfast each morning (and other meals as well).
Also, if you manage to get a room that's in one of the buildings near the main building, then not having a car truly doesn't matter.
and even if you're not near a main building, you could get near the quiet pool. And in any case, didn't you say you're going in the winter? i don't recall now.
Now i'm starting to talk myself back into recommending OKW with DDP as the first choice.
Bottom line, you won't go wrong either way.