Feeling Down

[Beth__WDW23/6/02]

As you know everything we have been through in the past few months (moving etc) and going on holiday as taken it's toll, I have been constantly Ill of late,fighting bugs and infections and feeling VERY down, and not myself, I feel really silly writing this but I have seen my Doctor and he has told me I need to see a consellor.
He was going to put me on tablets (but I refused) I think they would make all my problems worse.
I am waiting for an appointment now to see a lady called Susan.

I have started suffering panic attacks and won't leave the house (even more reason to visit DIS ) but it has gotten out of control and my mums really worried about me, and so is martyn and everyone else.
I have had a lot to deal with since I was 9 from my father dying to being abused and bullied at school, it has built up and I think all the stress of me moving and being homeless and chelsea with her hip and kind of put the pan on boiling point and I've had enough. So I am seeking help. I feel crazy silly I know but I feel people will now look at me different? (I dont know).

I just wanted to tell you all, I feel so daft, but this is what I'm going through in my life, being 23 and feeling like I'm 90! and I really do mean it

Thank you all for all your support with Chelsea when she was first diagnosed, and everything else xxxx

 

[Claire44]

Sorry to hear you are not feeling too well, I am sure people wont see you any differently and will just want you to feel better. The counselling will help you, it may not seem to help at first but stick with it and I am sure you will be fine.

 

[T16GEM]

sounds a lot like i felt this time last year. I was signed off work with anxiety and stress, i kept having panic attacks over the silliest little things. I though I was going mad! The doctors gave me an ECG and all sorts to make sure that there was nothing physically wrong with me.
I just felt so down and not interested in anything at all ( i was getting married in 4 weeks) I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed in the morning and felt the whole world was against me.

Eventually ( after also refusing medications) I got myself fully rested up and back to my old self. It takes time, don't rush your self, remember you and your health is the most important thing. Your family will understand that you need time out and they will be supportive for you.

I hope you feel better soon, chin up.
Love
Gems

 

[Muppet]

Beth

I hope Susan is able to help you work through this fog. I am on antidepressants and have been for nearly 2 years. I can understand you not wanting to go on them and thats your choice. I think one of the hardest things for those closest to us is that they didn't see the full extent and that they cannot make us better.

Take each day as it comes and with the panic attacks ( I get those too) you will be able to identify what is a full blown one and which are wobblies. I know they are very frightening BUT do your best not to let them get a complete grip on you.

Take care.

 

[Bexx]

Please never, never feel silly or crazy about going for help for your problems. Many people go through something like this at some point in their lives, and it sounds as if you've had more to deal with than most.

There shouldn't be any stigma attached to going for counselling. What you are doing is incredibly sensible and should help a lot. Talking to someone who is there to listen just to you and help with just your problems, is very refreshing.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

 

[TracyK]

Beth
You have done the right thing by seeking help. You have been through so much, anybody would find it hard to cope with everything you've had to. It all seemed to come one on top of the other.
I really hope talking to Susan will help you to cope. Hope you're soon feeling much better.
Tracy

 

[natalielongstaff]

beth
ive always thought of you as a lovely person with a beautiful family,im sorry to hear you are feeling so down. keep your chin up and keep dreaming of disney

 

[Miffy2003]

Hey Beth,

No shame at all in being poorly which is what you are. I hope all goes well for you with your counselling

The hardest part is seeking help, so well done! You've done the hardest bit.

You take care.


Karen

 

[KayleeUK]

Beth we are always here for you

 

[squitty]

Beth, I'm so sorry to hear youre not feeling very well.
As others have said go for the counselling, it might just be the thing you need.

 

[uktigger]

beth
i am really sorry to hear your are feeling like this,i second what everyone else is saying

best wishes and a big from me

eve

 

[Claddagh]

Beth,

Sorry you're not feeling too good at the moment, but going to talk to someone is the first step to feeling better. You have obviously been through so much, and this "burn out" is your body's way of telling you to slow down, take it easy and accept some help. What you have to remember is that you can't be everybody's hero, sometimes you need taking care of as well!!

I won't say I hope you feel better soon, because obviously it will take time, but i do hope that you at least start to see a light at the end of the tunnel!

Take care

 

[florida sun]

Beth

Just to let you know reading your post was like looking back at all the things I had gone through over the past few years. I too was diagonosed with depression after my husband of 10 years left me and my daughter who was then 7 for another woman, which then turned out to be a friend of mine who I worked with, at the time I was devestated as was my daughter. For the first 3 years I coped really well throwing myself into my job and raising my daughter. Then three years ago my mother had breast cancer and although thank god this year she was given the all clear, everything had taken it's toll.

I started to suffer from panic attacks and not wanting to leave the house. The doctor offered me medication which I refused but did decide to take counciliing which really helped. Last year somebody reccomended to me to take up yoga to help me learn how to control my breathing and I have to say it was the best advice anyone could have given me. Since then I have taken my daughter to Florida several times and even been on a Disney Cruise on my own with my daughter.Something I would never have felt strong enough to do a couple of years ago.
Time is a great healer and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Take all the help that is offered and believe me, from someone who has been through the same thing, it does get better and dont beat yourself up when you have a bad day. They will get less and less.

Good luck and best wishes.

Sue

 

[sharon78]

Take care Beth,I hope that talking to Susan will help and that your soon back to your old self.

 

[Beth__WDW23/6/02]

(Waft's my face to stop the tears)
THANK YOU, ALL of you. I really appreciate all the messages.
Fingers crossed I am ok, and slowly but surely I get on the road to recovery, I'm feeling very low, spent most of the day in bed feeling very sickly and terrible, martyn has just persuaded me to have a bath and relax, bless him.

I really hope (and think) that susan will help me conquer alot of demons I was made to keep locked up, from so many years ago.

I feel silly as it has took soooo long to finally come to head, and my body is totally burned out, If you remember all the throat infections I have suffered, I was on a ECG last year for palpatations just before we went to florida.

Florida this year was wonderful but some days was marred with me and my throat/sinus problems and panic attacks.
I feel like I am a failure to others who I am depending on day in day out to care for chelsea or pick her up from school.
I feel like at my age I should be raring to go, not locked up in a house staring at 4 walls, I feel like I am going mad.
Panic attacks I can get through them most of the time, but when they get a grip, I find it very very very hard to calm myself down and work through them and that is what scares the life out of me (Its like having hands over your mouth and nose) its awful.

I'm sad to hear others have been through the same but also happy that you understand what Im going through.

Thank you all soo much, and I hope I can get myself back to how I was a happy, bouncy fun mother and partner, and not some miserable moany person, of which I dont know.

Thank you xxx and hugs back xxx

 

[shellbell]

Beth

I'm really sorry to hear your feeling so low. I hope you begin to feel better soon. Its great that you have someone to talk too and get everything out into the open.

Keep smiling



Michelle

 

[Mrs Dazzle]

Beth - can't say anything more than anyone else, flower. Been there, read the book, got the t-shirt as they say

Just keep haqppy thoughts not too far away - you have a fantastic partner and little Chelsea will be so supportive in ways you cannot imagne.

Big hug xxx

 

[jjpenguin]

Beth,

hang in there! and don't rush it. These things take time, I know, I've been there too....

You've made a wise choice in councelling, having someone to talk too, to talk things through with in an objective manner is very helpful!

Don't blame yourself and say "why me?" I know it feels as if you've lost yourself and you blame yourself for that. Please DON'T!! Life throws all kinds of stuff at us, and it's all meant to be, you'll come out of this stronger. Maybe not next month, maybe not in 6 months, but you will get there, the worst thing is to rush yourself. It's your body's way of saying slow down, what's wrong: you are not superwoman. The problem is convincing your mind

Good luck and hugs!

jjpenguin

 

[UKANGEL]

Beth
Its so sad that so many of us have felt like this and still feel we're the only ones!

For many years after I had Becky (now 16) I felt like I was just locked in the hosue, in my own depression, even though I did gte some part time work to try and help myself. I describe the bad days to Becky (who also has problems with depression) as our black days, when you're in that deep cave and cant get out.

I've been through counselling, and have been on anti depressants for nearly 2 years (like Shelley), and I can say they've really helped me through.

There IS a sunny side and you will come out of it. There are still black days, but they are fewer and further between. With the help of a supportive partner (as you and I have...arent we lucky?!) and a beautiful daughter (again, arent we both lucky?) we WILL get through all this.

I know that some days it doesnt feel like that, and on some days when the panic attacks are there it just feels so pointless, and you feel like such a failure, but hey! look at me....

Split up with my husband after nearly 19 years of marriage, daughter attempted 2 overdoses after stopping going to school, (at 14) was threatened with court action as a result, moved home 4 times in 3 years............amongst other things!

Im not really trying to make light of all this beleive me, but here I am now, in a new house, new area, studying for a degree....soemthing I thought Id never be able to do.


yes, I still get bad days, and times when I just feel I cant go out or function at all but as I say, they are less and less.


Beth, we're all here for you and just pm me if you need a shoulder at any time.

ive had some fantastic support from some of the DIS members and I cna always pass it on to others

 

[KathAnn]

Beth

I'm truly sorry you've been feeling so rotten. I had a spell about 18 months ago when I felt like I'd collided with a wall at full speed. My home life was very unhappy, work was a nightmare, and my Aunt (whom I was very close to as we were only 12 years apart in age) died of breast cancer. I felt like I couldn't continue. I was signed off work and ended up being off for 6 months, which added a bit to the stress at the beginning. My GP has a counselling practice attached to it so I got help from there. I didn't want to take antidepressants, but eventually I did as I just wasn't improving. However, they were beneficial to me and I did begin to feel better.

I'm now back to work and although I still get the odd wobbly day when I feel like the clouds are gathering round my head, they happen much less frequently now.

Try to remember that you will get better. Take your time and keep your achievements small to start with. I couldn't even be bothered bathing and dressing - so start with that if you feel the same. Clinical depression is horrific and you need careful counselling and help to make headway.

Many hugs to you and your family.