Feeling a bit upset today - need to talk to someone

[Lizzy Lemon]

Had DS's Y10 parents evening at school yesterday, he's doing well except mostly predicting C's and B's except for Maths could be an A and history A or A* but he's struggling with science, he got a D in the exam in January but is resitting in June and his teacher said 'HE WILL GET A C OR I'LL KICK HIS **** ACROSS THE ROOM'. I don't know whether I liked his attitude or not, yes Glen needs a kick in the pants to wake him up to revising and putting that little bit more effort in but when I say anything he just tells me to stop going on! He's doing very well bearing in mind we thought he might be brain damaged at birth due to lack of oxygen and we are very proud of him but we know he can do better if he left his computer games alone for a bit. He's told me I worry too much about them as well as I've had a little cry this morning as Ashley wanted to walk to school on his own for the first time, he's 12 in a few weeks time but with him being SN I'm finding it harder to let go second time around, I remember reading somewhere the best parents are the ones who know when to let go and I've hung on too long, just want to do the best job I can. Sorry for moaning yet again but I think the family are too fed up with listening to my depressed state.

 

[jns]

I find the hardest thing is letting go of them ,
sending you some

as long as the child is happy at school thats the main thing

 

[Minniespal]

Sending you lots of 's Wendy.

 

[CustardTart]

Aww Wendy!!! I feel your boys are lucky to have a Mum who cares so much...

It IS tough to let go (actually I'm not sure you ever do) and I understand some of your worries. My middle DS Matt caused me many sleepless nights and tearful moments as I felt he just didn't 'get' the fact that IMO he needed to do a bit more schoolwork and a lot less gaming. Unlike his elder sister and younger brother, studying never came easily to him and I was so anxious on his behalf. As it was, he did OK in his GCSEs and went onto do A levels, go to University and now has a full-time job working for an internet advertising agency. If anyone would have told me 7 years ago that this is how he'd turn out, I definitely wouldn't have believed them...

 

[Ware Bears]

Sending you Wendy.

 

[tennisfan]

It just shows what a caring mother you are to your boys. I was a bit like your son never really wanting to put the effort into my school work but I did alright & went onto university.

I had a teacher who told me I would fail English Literature GCSE so I would not be able to study it. This was a subjetc I did try hard on but she was a harsh marker (her own words). I argued my case & proved her wrong as I got a C in the highest paper.

Whilst at uni I put loads of effort into my assignment yet I wasn't getting great marks

Just as long as your son tries he best then the teachers can't ask for anymore.

Sending you Wendy.

 

[natalielongstaff]

I hope you are ok Wendy x x x

 

[tashasmum]

I know how you feel.DD is in her last weeks at school and it is really hard to get her to revise at the moment. Don't seem to be able to get through to her that these exams are really important. She thinks that because she already has a college place its fine, when she actually needs 5 A-C grades as well.
For the last two years, during mock exams her attitude was that she was predicted a C by teachers and if that was what she got it was good. In my opinion this is the worst thing they could do for her because she isn't aiming any higher.
At parents evening the other week we were constantly being told she is a model pupil, very polite etc etc(we wondered if they were talking about the same chid sometimes) and now she is working at grades B and even A's in 4 subjects.
I was asking DH last night if he thinks it would be a good incentive to give her a reward (money or something else)for the grades that she gets. Would love to hear if anybody else did this and if it worked for you.
They do have a lot to do at school with coursework etc but it is frustrating when you can't get through how important they are and why you want the best for them.
Hope you can get things sorted. Best of luck to you all.

 

[The Fetherstons]

Hi Wendy sending you Take care

 

[mandymouse]

Sending you lots of hugs Wendy, I think you're doing a great job

 

[DisneyJo]

Wendy it's our job to worry, if we didn't we wouldn't be caring parents, it sounds as though he's doing great in all the other subects and I agree I don't like the attitude of the teacher. Sending you a big

 

[florida sun]

Hugs for you Wendy

 

[Mrs Dazzle]

I know exactly how you feel. DD is in Y10 and has had mocks the last two days of last week and all this week. She is doing separate sciences and I feel totally inadequate - can't offer her any help at all. She's a hero AND a genius as far as I'm concerned

All we can do is try and offer support, food and hugs when they need it. The rest really is down to them.

I don't think your teacher meant any harm in his comment, personally.

Good luck for your DS in his tests.

 

[Tammy Stringer]

I was asking DH last night if he thinks it would be a good incentive to give her a reward (money or something else)for the grades that she gets. Would love to hear if anybody else did this and if it worked for you.

We did just that for India's GCSE's - we drew up a table of grades and the relevant rewards. It was to encourage her to revise and also to be fair when it is Georgia's time for exams. We did put an additional clause - at Georgia's request - that if she got any U grades she would have to swap bedrooms with Georgia - luckily this wasn't necessary - and Georgia is still in the smallest room - much to her disgust.

Luckily India did exceptionally well in her GCSE's 1 A*, 8 A's and 1 B, unluckily it cost us a small fortune

If you think it might help and you it is affordable I say go for it - it doesn't even have to be a monetary reward it could be treats etc.

Tammy

 

[fizz13]

Just wanted to say that when i was at school i really did try to scrape by doing the bare minimum which was frustrating for my whole family and teachers as they could see i could do so much better, and sure enough they dangled money in front of my face to get me through my GCSEs I am happy to say that although my coursework was coming back at D/E level sometimes i pulled through with 1 A, 7 Bs, 1 D and 1E, so that means that it is possible to turn it around in the last few weeks.
What really helped me was i went out and got a study guide that was about study skills in general for GCSE, i made a revision timetable and filled in which units i would do on what day,a nd i loved the practise papers in the back ofhe books and marking them myself, i had such a sense of achievement ticking off stuff on my timetable, sad I know

you are clearly doing a brilliant job and being very supportive, doing everything right, which is more than my mum did for me, so have faith, its amazing how much u can cram study too and at least the information is fresh.
good luck.

 

[Strommie]

Sending you Wendy.

 

[carolfoy]

sorry you're feeling down Wendy but I agree with the rest, you're doing a sterling job. Wish my parents had taken more interest in my academia at that age (maybe I wouldn't have to try to get a degree now I'm well past it!)
at the end of the day though you can only do so much, keep reinforcing how much you love and care for them and that your nagging is in their best interests but they will do what they will do. I have no doubt that they will turn out wonderfully and you'll be able to look back and think 'what did I worry about?'
the best thing you can ever give them is roots and wings

 

[wideeyes]

I wouldn't worry to much about the D in one module, obviously the teacher thinks he is capable of getting a higher mark. The good thing about modular is that one exam is not going to determine the grade he gets, as there is more exams and coursework to bring the mark up.

Also a D in science is not going to be a disaster in light of his other predicted results,he will have enough to get in to college or sixth form to do something he finds more motivating. My sister got an A in her history GCSE, and has now been excepted to study history at some top universities and she got a D in one of her GCSE's.

 

[tashasmum]

We did just that for India's GCSE's - we drew up a table of grades and the relevant rewards. It was to encourage her to revise and also to be fair when it is Georgia's time for exams. We did put an additional clause - at Georgia's request - that if she got any U grades she would have to swap bedrooms with Georgia - luckily this wasn't necessary - and Georgia is still in the smallest room - much to her disgust.

Luckily India did exceptionally well in her GCSE's 1 A*, 8 A's and 1 B, unluckily it cost us a small fortune

If you think it might help and you it is affordable I say go for it - it doesn't even have to be a monetary reward it could be treats etc.

Tammy

Fortunately for her she has no other sibling to swap rooms with. She hasn't been predicted any U's just needs pushing, unless it is anything to do with dancing.

 

[Chilly]

I got given "money for grades" something like £20 for an A, £10 for a B, but I'm not sure if I actually worked any harder. I suppose it depends on how much the child wants something.

As for revision I used to do 1 hour unit that were split 45 minutes revision then a quick 15 minute break as otherwise I just ended up reading the same bit over and over.

You never know what he'll get in Science, I got two As and I still don't know how