Fed Up With It All- UPDATE: Post 34

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I would like to preface this with I do like my job. I really do. My kids are hard to deal with, but we have already made a lot of progress.

On with the vent: I have a para in my room that sometimes makes my job hell on earth. He has either been very late or not come into work 5 times without calling in appropriately (so we don't know where he is, if he is coming in, etc.) He totally undermines me in front of the kids. I make it a point of supporting what he says to the kids, even if I don't agree with it. He often just gets up and leaves the room to go talk to other teachers. He has his cell phone out all the time, even when he is "teaching." He tried changing a students' lunch plan (which was handed down by the principal) without even consulting me. When we do the pledge/patriotic song, he either sits there or just walks around the room air drumming instead of doing it with us. (I know that is minor, but it just adds to everything.) If I ask the kids to silent read, he sits there and chit chats. If he is not given a specific activity, he is playing with his Nintendo or Cell Phone. The one time I asked him to copy something (in an emergency, somebody was coming to take somethign to another school with no notice) he gave me flack for it because "paras aren't supposed to copy." I know they are not my servants, and I would not have asked him if not in an emergency. I know they are not there to help me clean up, but it would be nice if he would help every once in awhile.

WE are supposed to have radios and his radio was mysteriously "stolen" out of his car (we're not even supposed to take them home) so now I am the only one with a radio. We added a seocnd para to the room who came from the same school he did, and said that he pulled the same crap there. She actually does help pick up after the kids, even though she technically doesn't have to. She has been a godsend. Anyway, today was the last straw. He made some incredibly rude and uncalled for comments to her, right in front of the kids. I am so frustrated.

He was moved into this room from another school at the end of last year. So he was there before me. The principal is well aware of his attendance issues, and his texting (she caught him in action when she came to observe me.) But other than talking to him, I don't think anything has happened. I am a new teacher on a probationary contract. No guarantees of renewals, so I feel powerless to do anything. Honestly, I'm not sure that I can take it much more. There is a big part of me that wants to say if he is here next year, I will not be. But I know that is petty and childish. So I just bite my tongue and try to cope. It's hard enough having kids who are so severe (I was bitten again today), but I feel like he is just another child. At one point I was even making a daily schedule for him, and he still wasn't following it (but complaining to every adult in the building about it, even though it was under order from the principal.) I just don't know what else I can do.

Thank you for letting me vent.

 

[KirstenB]

I hear you. Around here, the paras really go out of their way to go the extra mile for the kids. As a parent, I'd be furious if he was in my child's classroom. Zoe needs lots of help in socialization, communication, and a big part of that is imitating appropriate behaviors. The guy you're describing is too self-absorbed to see he's actually hindering the kids' learning, everytime he does something as simple as blowing off the Pledge of Allegiance.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Oh my gosh, that totally reminded me of something today. I have a kid that has the option of using his chair during circle time. So of course, the para picks it up and starts flipping it around. Next thing I know, the kid (who copies everything he sees) is doing the same thing. Argh!

 

[freckles and boo]

WTH? I would be furious!!! Like Kirsten, my daughter needs appropriate role models and is fortunate to be in a classroom staffed with wonderful women. All I can offer is that you are the teacher and it is your classroom. It will be a very long school year if you don't make every effort to either change this behavior or replace this guy now.

 

[belle&sebastiansmom]

Document everything. Keep going to the principal. After a while, go to the school board. His behavior in the classroom shouldn't be tolerated, and you should be respected by the principal or the superintendent regardless of your contract status.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Believe me, I've tried. I've talked to him, the process coordinator has talked to him, the principal has talked to him. He just doesn't care. I've made him a detailed schedule, he just whined about it to a different building para. As the teacher, if I had pull ed so many no call no shows, I would have been fired. Apparently, he did this last year too and yet he is still here. I honestly want him to do it a few more times so they will fire him, since nothing else seems to work. I am going to talk to my process coordinator tomorrow, as well as to him.

 

[shannonh]

I agree with everything being said. You really are the voice for these kids. If you don't feel like he is appropriate for them, he needs to go. I'm sure the parents would not be at all happy if they knew what was going on and I'm guessing there's a good chance that the kids can't explain it to them.
My daughter's aides in her class, left her get lost in the hallway this year ( no one went with her) and she's only in Kindergarten. I was furious. I called everyone and I'm not done yet, IEP meeting soon. Again, you are those kids' voices. Good luck! Also, kuddos to you. It takes a pretty great person to teach the "special" class. Mine is a handful at home and I can't imagine a roomful.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Document everything. Keep going to the principal. After a while, go to the school board. His behavior in the classroom shouldn't be tolerated, and you should be respected by the principal or the superintendent regardless of your contract status.

I agree, especially with documentation. Document, document and document some more.

It is horrible that you feel powerless in this situation and remember when you need to vent just vent. Thats what we're here for.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Shannonh: He has done that (sort of). He dropped off a student to a completely empty classroom. She was discovered by another teacher going through book bags. Another time he brought the kids back to the room and left them without making sure I was there (I was not.) My process coordinator and I have had long talks. I thought he was improving, it certainly seemed to help having a second para, but it seems like this week he has totally backslidden.

 

[HsvTeacher]

Document, document, document!

I also think I'd make sure some of my more "outspoken" parents knew what was going on in the classroom, because they would more than likely be willing to share their concerns with your principal or special education coordinator. Like some PPs said, students, especially students with special needs, need positive role models to benefit their education process.

 

[agnes!]

If you already know that talking to him doesn't work, why bother? I think it might be ok at this point to just have a meeting with the process coordinator. And if he's a para, he's probably not even unionized...can't he be let go at the employer's discretion?

Let him hoist himself on his own petard.
agnes!

 

[C.Ann]

How old is this para?

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Around my age I think. I know that he already did his senior year of college, because he talks about in his senior year switching from art to education major (he's getting his education degree)

 

[C.Ann]

Around my age I think. I know that he already did his senior year of college, because he talks about in his senior year switching from art to education major (he's getting his education degree)

He sounds terribly immature.. I think he has a looooong way to go before he would be mature enough to be in charge of his own class..

No advice for you, but plenty of sympathy..

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

Make sure you document everything. Talk to your special education coordinator and ask for help in resolving the situation. Are you required to have a teaching contract with your assistants? If you had one, you could easily lay out the expectations of the classroom and roles. Putting this information in a way to demonstate that everyone is there for the benefit of the students may help.

Hope you find a workable solution soon!

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

No, no contract required. I tried to contact him before school started to sort of talk about expectations, but he never got back to me. He showed up right at bell on the first day of school, that was the first time I met him. I have tried to talk to him about it, but he is very much under the "this is how it was last year" attitude.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I'm a teaching assistant (same as a paraprofessional but our district doesn't use that term). I can't imagine refusing to do anything the teacher asks me to do. I make copies almost everyday. I run errands around the school to the office, library, etc. I compose and type memos and notes to parents that the teacher reads and approves. There are two assistants in the classroom. We help the kids clean-up after free-play. We disinfect tables and chairs several times a day. This morning I wiped down the door handles and light switches since those can get germy but aren't cleaned often. I just don't get "it's not in my job description." If it needs to be done and it helps the kids, I'll do it.

One question: Have the parents noticed this guy's work style and said anything about it? In my district, if a parent complains about something it's likely to get a lot more attention than if a staff member says something.

 

[princessbride6205]

I just wanted to offer my support after you mentioned your day in our Biggest Loser thread. I know you're doing everything you can for your students. Shoot, you were bit today and that's not why you're venting. Hang in there, and I hope you can get rid of this guy!

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Actually: Yes. I had one parent during conferences asking if there was a way to get their child moved out because of the para. This child and the para butt heads every day. The child has a lot of behavior problems and is constantly being sent to the safe seat. The para I think sort of has him on his radar, and gets onto him for things that I would not necessarily, or makes a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be. Don't get me wrong, the child is still not following the rules, but sometimes the para turns it into more than he should.

I mentioned the comment to the principal, but they all know how many problems this child has had with behavior this year, so the attitude is: of course the child does not like the para, he always gets in trouble with him. (Coincidentally, I too have to send this child to the safe seat, but he does not have near the same reaction to me.)

 

[NHdisneylover]

Jessi,
First, I am really sorry you have to deal with this. It takes a special kind of person and a TON of patience and love to work with the kids you work with and the first year or two of teaching is always rough even without the added probelm of your "helper" causing you more distress.


That said, I think you really HAVE to find a way to get hold of this situation. Not only is it unfair to the kids, and to you, to have a para in the room who continually does not do his job; it may also be reflecting poorly on you and damage your chacnes of being renewed as a teacher next year (sorry to add more stress, but I think it is true). As a special education teacher you are expected to be able to not only work with the kids and with parents but also to "manage" the parapros in your room (which is really, really tough when you do not ahve the power to hire or fire, etc.). I think admin. expects to have to support and train new teachers somewhat the first year, but they also expect that by mid year you are finding your footing and able to stand more and more on your own. It sounds like they are out of new ideas and resources to give you and need YOU to make it work.

As others have said, document EVERYTHING. But, if I were you I would not go back to the principal or process coordinator again unless something major happens that must be reported. They need to see YOU figuring out a way to handle it at this point. Even things which need reported (like leaving a child unattended in a classroom) should be handle in very matter of fact and unemotional ways: "X took Johnny to his therapy at 1:15 and retuend to teh room alone. At 1:35 teacher Y came to the room with Johnny. She says Johnny was found alone in classroom 12 and the therapist had not yet arrived at school. I asked X if anyone was in the room when he left Johnny and his respones was "****." I observed taht Johnny was more agitated for the rest of the day than is normal, for example: XYZ."

I know this is much easier said than done (especially when you are exhausted by your job) but it sounds like you have to stay on this guy just like he is a preschooler. You know how vitally important consistency is with kids, right? This guy is acting like a little kid and I think he will respond accordingly. You have to tell him EVERY SINGLE TIME he gets his phone out that he needs to put it away and work with the kids. You have to tell him what to do when he is goofing off instead of doing his work, every single time. You cannot let him slide on anything, ever. If he says "last year. . ." politely but firmly tell him this is NOT last year and the behaviour does not work for YOU now. It will take a few weeks, an you will be ready to drop (and the kids will be temporarily deprived of as much calssroom interactions as they should be getting while you focus on him--BUT they will benefit greatly in the end AND in the meantime they are learning that the rules apply to adults too, whch can be very good for such kids--and all kids really--to see), but in the end he will either learn he cannot bully you (I think he is very knowingly taking advantage of the fact that you are young, small, new, etc. in addition to being somewhat of a deadbeat to begin with) and start to work, he will complain to the principal (which should backfire on him so long as you have documented everything as he would be complaining that he does not like being expected do to his job) or he will get fed up with having to actaully work and he will quit). Any or all of the above is better than what you have now.