When my dh and I just began dating 20 years ago, I sent him an unsigned 'secret admirer' card that said, "I want to squeeze the stuffings out of you," thinking it'd be cute.

He didn't say anything about it for days, then finally he said he had to tell me something: he has a secret admirer who just sent him a card, and he wanted to tell me that he's not interested in her at all--just in case I heard it from someone else.
Doh!