family restrooms?

[itchin2go]

Because a dad would never be out with his daughter alone and run into a situation where she needed to use the restroom. Right.

That same daughter who was abused would be in the exact same situation as your child - either go into the ladies room by herself, or go into the men's room with her dad. I would expect the dad would have the same concern's about bringing her into the men's room, and the dad would also not be "right there to help her" if another mother took a son into the ladies room.

The same situation can happen to both boys and girls. But apparently girls are responsible for just sucking it up and dealing. I'm sorry, but that's not a message I want to send to my daughter.

This.

 

[Crl1817]

There are incidents, too many sadly, where the perpetrators were school employees. The "security" you mention above does nothing to prevent those people from having access to a child. And that's not even counting the very many schools who do not have such protocols in place.

Please no one mistake me - I am in no way implying that teachers or school personnel are something to be afraid of in this regard. I'm just trying to point out the unfortunate truth that schools are not actually any safer than any other public place.



This hasn't been the case in any school I've taught in. And, regardless, as another PP had the horrible experience - sometimes the offender is another student.

The point of all of this is not to say schools are unsafe...just that they aren't any *more* safe than anywhere else.

That's your assessment. Other people could reasonably come to a different conclusion.

I think it is reasonable to allow parents to make their own judgment calls about safety. That's part of being a parent.

Safety trumps discomfort in my book.

Honestly with a nine year old boy, if I felt it was unsafe to send him into the men's room alone, I would use the companion restrooms. But there are posters here insisting that they are for disabled use only and I can see how that might make some parents reluctant to use them. And of course some parents don't know about them.

 

[itchin2go]

I think it is reasonable to allow parents to make their own judgment calls about safety. That's part of being a parent.

Safety trumps discomfort in my book.

But you've decided that there's a legitimate safety concern, when the truth is that the vast majority of boys go in and out of the men's restroom with no issue.

I think it's more like one person's discomfort (and as an overprotective mom, I GET the discomfort) is trumping another person's discomfort.

Is there a chance something could go wrong in the men's room? Of course. There's ALWAYS a chance that something could go wrong. But does a sliver of a chance mean that the mom's discomfort trumps everyone else's?

 

[mikat]

OP, I actually started a thread very similar to this 4 years ago. From that thread, I know that there are a few bathrooms that do have more than one entrance:

Fantasmic Bathroom DHS
Lights, Motor, Action DHS
Pizza Planet DHS

Pizzafari AK
The ladies' room at Restaurantosaurus also has two entrances (one inside and one outside), does the men's?

The ladies' room next to Splash Mountain has 2 exits/entrances, but I'm not sure about the men's room.

If you avoid these troublesome bathrooms, I think you'll be ok letting DS go in on his own. I'll be letting DS9 do so on our upcoming trip, when it will just be the two of us. Am I perfectly comfortable with it? No, but I know he'll be more uncomfortable if I make him go in with me, so it's time for this to happen.

On a lighter note, someone has actually taken a photo of the bathrooms in WDW!

http://www.cassworld.ca/bathrooms.htm

This is an old site (MGM still!) but it does list that some of them have two entrances. Someone PMed me this site back in my old thread.

 

[Angel Ariel]

That's your assessment. Other people could reasonably come to a different conclusion.

I think it is reasonable to allow parents to make their own judgment calls about safety. That's part of being a parent.

I agree. I don't recall saying parents couldn't make their own decision. They're welcome to make whatever decision they wish - that doesn't mean I have to agree with it though. Nor do I expect that parent to care what I think either.

Honestly with a nine year old boy, if I felt it was unsafe to send him into the men's room alone, I would use the companion restrooms. But there are posters here insisting that they are for disabled use only and I can see how that might make some parents reluctant to use them. And of course some parents don't know about them.

And IMO, if I were in the OP's situation and I were uncomfortable sending a son into the men's room at that age, I would absolutely use the companion restrooms and not give one whit of thought to what people on the internet thought about it. Especially considering the standpoint of the former Disney CM on this thread who was responsible for it.

Being concerned about what people on the internet may think is most certainly not more important than what the girls in the restroom may feel.

 

[Crl1817]

But you've decided that there's a legitimate safety concern, when the truth is that the vast majority of boys go in and out of the men's restroom with no issue.

?

No. I have decided that I don't get to make safety calls for other people's kids. They do.

 

[Crl1817]

Being concerned about what people on the internet may think is most certainly not more important than what the girls in the restroom may feel.

But it is exactly the same. The girls who may or may not be in the restroom. The people who need a handicapped accessible restroom facility waiting outside the companion restroom. All of them are currently hypotheticals being discussed on the internet. All of them might be in the parks the day a mother is there alone with her nine year old boy, or none of them might be.

 

[Aurora0427]

Ok, I've been reading this thread off and on all day. If you don't want to send your 9 year old son into the men's room alone, use the companion restroom. Unless the companion restroom explicitly states "FOR DISABLED PEOPLE ONLY", or insert whatever PC statement, use it. Who cares what the argumentative people, in regards to it only being for the disabled, think on this thread. If my husband was at the park with our daughter alone, that's what I'd tell him to do. This just doesn't seem like a big deal. Use the companion restroom!

 

[itchin2go]

No. I have decided that I don't get to make safety calls for other people's kids. They do.

And if they make a crazy decision (under the umbrella of "safety call") for their kid, and it bugs you ... look the other way.

Which is what we all do. Regardless of how uncomfortable we are.

Come one, come all ... into the ladies' restroom ....

 

[maxiesmom]

No. I have decided that I don't get to make safety calls for other people's kids. They do.

So there is no line to be drawn? If some mom wants to bring her 16 yr old son into the womens room under the guise of safety that should be ok with everyone?

I highly doubt it. In reality the odds of something happening to a child in a public restroom are almost nil. If someone wants to protect their child from a tiny threat they need to do so in a way that doesn't infringe on the rights of others. If a restroom is gender specific the rights of those that restroom is labeled for trumps anything else. The people who are bringing males into a female space are the ones who should have to figure things out, the ones who should have to suck it up and deal.

If your child is so young they cannot use the toilet without a buddy then they need to go into the stall with the parent. The parent keeps the child safe and everyone else can use the facilities without worry. A win win. The parent should be the one to have to deal with the loss of their modesty and privacy. Not everyone else.

 

[Gracie09]

Wftv.com.
It didn't happen at the park. Employees were arrested in a child porn bust. And for going to a minors home for sexual misconduct. I think the boy was 13.

It made news because of where they worked just like if they were teachers, or religious leaders etc it would also make news. From what the news story said they acted outside their job. Like most molesters they didn't just pick a random boy from the bathroom.

Because a dad would never be out with his daughter alone and run into a situation where she needed to use the restroom. Right.

That same daughter who was abused would be in the exact same situation as your child - either go into the ladies room by herself, or go into the men's room with her dad. I would expect the dad would have the same concern's about bringing her into the men's room, and the dad would also not be "right there to help her" if another mother took a son into the ladies room.

The same situation can happen to both boys and girls. But apparently girls are responsible for just sucking it up and dealing. I'm sorry, but that's not a message I want to send to my daughter.

We are actually dealing with this with my five year olds now. Too old to go with daddy, actually they don't want to because it's the boys room and they are girls! He has been pretty successful in finding one stall unisex rooms to send them into but has at least once had to send them in together and stood at the door making sure they were ok. Btw he said they came out very proud of themselves because they were big girls who can do this alone.
And I too am sick of my girls being told to suck it up because their feelings are less valid than a boys.

 

[Burnedout]

There was also a teacher arrested. But most people I'm this thread are still sending their kid to school.

Wanna know how safe your kid is in a "secured" school situation? Google teacher arrested for child abuse. Or at church, or at scouts. Then check to see how often stranger abuse happens. Then check the circumstances. Crowd level, staffing etc. common sense really should prevail.

Of course little people need to stay with parents, girls or boys. My husband would take my daughter into the men's room and send her to the stall. It wasn't like guys are shaking it around or taking measurements. And I'd take my little boys. Before they could take care of basic needs efficiently. After that they wear sent into the restroom. No biggie. Normal growing up stuff.

I feel so bad for the generations being raised in fear. :/

 

[ArwenMarie]

OP, I actually started a thread very similar to this 4 years ago. From that thread, I know that there are a few bathrooms that do have more than one entrance:

Fantasmic Bathroom DHS
Lights, Motor, Action DHS
Pizza Planet DHS

Pizzafari AK
The ladies' room at Restaurantosaurus also has two entrances (one inside and one outside), does the men's?

The ladies' room next to Splash Mountain has 2 exits/entrances, but I'm not sure about the men's room.

If you avoid these troublesome bathrooms, I think you'll be ok letting DS go in on his own. I'll be letting DS9 do so on our upcoming trip, when it will just be the two of us. Am I perfectly comfortable with it? No, but I know he'll be more uncomfortable if I make him go in with me, so it's time for this to happen.

On a lighter note, someone has actually taken a photo of the bathrooms in WDW!

http://www.cassworld.ca/bathrooms.htm

This is an old site (MGM still!) but it does list that some of them have two entrances. Someone PMed me this site back in my old thread.

Really good info. There is one between Frontierland and Adventureland in MK which is the same way.

 

[Figment Mom]

OP here. I am very amused by the life this thread has taken and have been reading all of the responses with great interest. I haven't said much because opinions are opinions and, as I said in the first post, I was sure there'd be lots of them.

I got my original question answered, so thank you. As to the other multiple directions this thread has taken, as I said it has been very interesting.

Just to be clear, my ds IS very independent and I am NOT raising him in fear. And for this reason I am not going to remind him every time "remember to scream if someone does anything inappropriate." HE has no problem going into the men's room on his own. He has also gone into the women's room without reservation any time I have felt he needed to do so.

While I disagree that he is in "just as much risk" being in a stall next to me as he would be going into a restroom completely on his own, I also have no issue with him entering a stall with me. And when we are in a family restroom we both enter and do our business as needed. He's my kid. I'm his mom. Reasonable privacy? Yes. Shame? No. He doesn't stare at me and I don't stare at him.

And while in the restroom he is definitely not peeking under doors, playing around, or even trying to see through door gaps.

There was a comment made about school field trips and how he has used a public restroom then. As a teacher, I just have to say that I have NEVER just sent any of my students (boy or girl) into a public restroom without first making sure it was completely empty. And, yes, that has involved me walking into a public men's room (after first calling into it to see if anyone responded verbally). Obviously I won't be doing that at WDW.

And, while I know that anything can happen anywhere, I do not equate the risk of a school bathroom to the risk of a public restroom. (Acknowledging that the risk in either is very low but not outside the realm of possibility.) Our schools are locked buildings with security cameras in them.

I very much respect the feelings of others, as I hope is evident by what I've posted previously. While on our vacation, I will make whatever choice I feel is the right one at the time. Most of the time it will probably be to send him into the men's room while I wait outside. For that matter, it may often be sending him into the men's room while I go into the women's and then meeting at a designated spot outside both of them. If a companion bathroom is available we may very well use it and not feel guilty unless something changes in Disney policy about who they are intended for.

I do appreciate the head's up about restrooms with multiple entrances.

Carry on!

 

[mom2rtk]

If you avoid these troublesome bathrooms, I think you'll be ok letting DS go in on his own. I'll be letting DS9 do so on our upcoming trip, when it will just be the two of us. Am I perfectly comfortable with it? No, but I know he'll be more uncomfortable if I make him go in with me, so it's time for this to happen.

Here's the deal. Parenting is filled with many moments where we as parents feel uncomfortable. Too many parents today think that if they are uncomfortable, that means their child is unsafe and they need to avoid it.

If you go by that, then no child would ever drive a car or leave for college. Because believe me....... those moments are far more uncomfortable. But we as parents need to learn when our fears our irrational and when they aren't. Being afraid of sending a 9 year old boy into the men's room at Disney is one of those times it's ok to feel uncomfortable, but it's also one of those fears you need to work through and get past.

 

[Angel Ariel]

But it is exactly the same. The girls who may or may not be in the restroom. The people who need a handicapped accessible restroom facility waiting outside the companion restroom. All of them are currently hypotheticals being discussed on the internet. All of them might be in the parks the day a mother is there alone with her nine year old boy, or none of them might be.

Yes, the handicapped people themselves are there, but your statement implied being reluctant *because of* what has been written here, not because of something happening in the park. I'm simply saying that the opinion of people online won't make me reluctant to do what I need to do. I don't expect my online opinion to matter to any other person either. We all make decisions that we believe are best for our kids.

 

[JenniBugInPink]

I think the problem here arises because there are posters on this thread asserting that the companion restrooms are ONLY for disabled use. A former CM has corrected this assertion, but people continue to make it. That leaves moms with boys with no option that satisfies everyone. I think it is also likely many people don't know the companion restrooms exist at disney. We went in 2010 and I don't remember seeing them. (We had no need for them on that trip as dh was always able to take ds and dd was an infant.) I don't think they appear on the standard disney maps either. Additionally, since people here are confused about what the signage on the restrooms means, it seems likely that people in real life are as well. I am familiar with that kind of signage as it appears on restrooms at restaurants in our area, but apparently it isn't common nationwide (and I've got no idea internationally)? So even if people see these restrooms, they may not understand from the signs that what disney describes as companion restrooms are for family use as well as disabled use.

Actually, I'm not trying to assert that these restrooms are for the use of people with disabilities only. I am, however, trying to discourage people of all stripes from using them if they don't need to, and I most certainly want people to understand that they are NOT family restrooms. There are not enough of them, they can accommodate only one guest/companion, mom/child, or family if need be, at a time. If they are used only for the convenience of a large family (not because the family has opposite gender issues, stroller issues, or a myriad of other reasons listed here that would legitimately require them to use the Companion restroom), then that space can be tied up for a period of time when it needn't have been. I realize that 95% of the people visiting WDW think it's just a plain old family bathroom. I guess that's why I'm trying harder to get the point across here. I know it's just a tiny drop in the bucket. Life can be such a struggle for the people that have to use these restrooms, i just want this part to be a little easier for them.

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

 

[Angel Ariel]

Just to be clear, my ds IS very independent and I am NOT raising him in fear. And for this reason I am not going to remind him every time "remember to scream if someone does anything inappropriate." HE has no problem going into the men's room on his own. He has also gone into the women's room without reservation any time I have felt he needed to do so.

Op, honestly, I don't think most people had an issue with your first post. You were very respectful in what you were asking, and trying to be considerate of others. I think most appreciate that.

There was a comment made about school field trips and how he has used a public restroom then. As a teacher, I just have to say that I have NEVER just sent any of my students (boy or girl) into a public restroom without first making sure it was completely empty. And, yes, that has involved me walking into a public men's room (after first calling into it to see if anyone responded verbally). Obviously I won't be doing that at WDW.

As another teacher, I can tell you that not all teachers do this. I have also, and I think it is great that you do...but not all teachers do.

And, while I know that anything can happen anywhere, I do not equate the risk of a school bathroom to the risk of a public restroom. (Acknowledging that the risk in either is very low but not outside the realm of possibility.) Our schools are locked buildings with security cameras in them.

Again..not all schools are locked buildings. I think there can be a false sense of security

I very much respect the feelings of others, as I hope is evident by what I've posted previously. While on our vacation, I will make whatever choice I feel is the right one at the time. Most of the time it will probably be to send him into the men's room while I wait outside. For that matter, it may often be sending him into the men's room while I go into the women's and then meeting at a designated spot outside both of them. If a companion bathroom is available we may very well use it and not feel guilty unless something changes in Disney policy about who they are intended for.

I do appreciate the head's up about restrooms with multiple entrances.

Carry on![/QUOTE]

 

[Angel Ariel]

Just to be clear, my ds IS very independent and I am NOT raising him in fear. And for this reason I am not going to remind him every time "remember to scream if someone does anything inappropriate." HE has no problem going into the men's room on his own. He has also gone into the women's room without reservation any time I have felt he needed to do so.

Op, honestly, I don't think most people had an issue with your first post. You were very respectful in what you were asking, and trying to be considerate of others. I think most appreciate that.

There was a comment made about school field trips and how he has used a public restroom then. As a teacher, I just have to say that I have NEVER just sent any of my students (boy or girl) into a public restroom without first making sure it was completely empty. And, yes, that has involved me walking into a public men's room (after first calling into it to see if anyone responded verbally). Obviously I won't be doing that at WDW.

As another teacher, I can tell you that not all teachers do this. I have also, and I think it is great that you do...but not all teachers do.

And, while I know that anything can happen anywhere, I do not equate the risk of a school bathroom to the risk of a public restroom. (Acknowledging that the risk in either is very low but not outside the realm of possibility.) Our schools are locked buildings with security cameras in them.

Again..not all schools are locked buildings. Not all schools have the office within sight of the main entrance..it can be very easy to walk into schools and bypass the whole "go to the office, give ID, get a badge" security protocol. Not all schools are the same. I also don't tend to believe cameras are a huge deterrent. It's not like there are cameras in the bathrooms themselves.

Sorry for the TJ there...I completely respect that your experience with schools has been different...just trying to show why it isn't unreasonable for someone else to have a different feeling regarding school bathrooms when their experience is different.

 

[Aurora0427]

OP here. I am very amused by the life this thread has taken and have been reading all of the responses with great interest. I haven't said much because opinions are opinions and, as I said in the first post, I was sure there'd be lots of them. I got my original question answered, so thank you. As to the other multiple directions this thread has taken, as I said it has been very interesting. Just to be clear, my ds IS very independent and I am NOT raising him in fear. And for this reason I am not going to remind him every time "remember to scream if someone does anything inappropriate." HE has no problem going into the men's room on his own. He has also gone into the women's room without reservation any time I have felt he needed to do so. While I disagree that he is in "just as much risk" being in a stall next to me as he would be going into a restroom completely on his own, I also have no issue with him entering a stall with me. And when we are in a family restroom we both enter and do our business as needed. He's my kid. I'm his mom. Reasonable privacy? Yes. Shame? No. He doesn't stare at me and I don't stare at him. And while in the restroom he is definitely not peeking under doors, playing around, or even trying to see through door gaps. There was a comment made about school field trips and how he has used a public restroom then. As a teacher, I just have to say that I have NEVER just sent any of my students (boy or girl) into a public restroom without first making sure it was completely empty. And, yes, that has involved me walking into a public men's room (after first calling into it to see if anyone responded verbally). Obviously I won't be doing that at WDW. And, while I know that anything can happen anywhere, I do not equate the risk of a school bathroom to the risk of a public restroom. (Acknowledging that the risk in either is very low but not outside the realm of possibility.) Our schools are locked buildings with security cameras in them. I very much respect the feelings of others, as I hope is evident by what I've posted previously. While on our vacation, I will make whatever choice I feel is the right one at the time. Most of the time it will probably be to send him into the men's room while I wait outside. For that matter, it may often be sending him into the men's room while I go into the women's and then meeting at a designated spot outside both of them. If a companion bathroom is available we may very well use it and not feel guilty unless something changes in Disney policy about who they are intended for. I do appreciate the head's up about restrooms with multiple entrances. Carry on!

This thread has taken on a life of its own that has nothing to do with your original post!