Family bailed on Christmas trip - need to vent

[rigsby25]

The minute we joined DVC, my husband and I envisioned a GV full of our family. We put together a trip and treated everyone with our points. It was up to them to provide any other expenses. We were well prepared that it might just be me and him in the GV, but we decided to do it anyway. We have just entered our 50's, and you never know when something will happen to any one of us. We just said "let's do it now". Some people backed out, and some people invited themselves along. In the end we had exactly 12 people and we really had a great time together taking advantage of all the fun things there are to do at Disney. As far as making reservations for some of our family, or renting them points - I don't know. I would let them know about the rent/trade board first, I think.

 

[debbiepump]

I once had someone tell me:
"God made relatives because no one else wanted to be their friends"

 

[kimberh]

I would put the reservation up for rent and take the money and book myself a room. Family is the first to Burn you everytime. If they don't have any money invested in their vacation then it is your vacation. They have nothing to lose by not going. People have to have something to lose or they have no respect for it. It's your vacation not their's. I booked a cruise for 34 people last year and I thought I was going to lose my mind, I have never in my life had to make so many changes. I said never again. We cruise alot and I make one call, the one to book the cruise. I would RENT it.

 

[Muushka]

First, I going to save this thread to my 'favorites'

Then, if I get the urge to ask the family to come to WDW with us, I will re-read it.

If I still go ahead and ask them, I will require that they read this thread.

 

[jekjones1558]

I remember sweating out our family gathering of 6 couples, 1 child and 3 - 2 bedrooms. I felt relief when everyone had purchased air tickets because I knew that only a real emergency would change the plan. Everything went off without a hitch, and I realized, even then, that booking that many adults 11 months ahead and having NO changes was once-in-a-lifetime karma. It will probably never happen again, but it was a fabulous and unforgettable vacation. That being said, I think that the horror stories I've read will make it unlikely that I will push my luck to try for an encore.
Good luck in cleaning up the mess. It isn't fair.

 

[GretchGraham]

I'm so sorry. I sincerely hope you are able to scrape together a decent resolution for yourself.

 

[FredS]

It'll be fine. It is actually a bit of relief that it is cancelled now and not the week before, after a few more changes!!

I love DVC for its flexibility, but that flexibility is much less when dealing with large reservations at very busy times. We nearly always travel during less busy times so I can adjust as need be. Booking an extra studio in May is not nearly as big a deal as booking GV's and 2-bedrooms in the week between Christmas and New Year's.

I do love my family, but this also helps me realize why these people are the ones who make plans late and pay a hefty premium for it. Oh, well, we are still going to be at Disney for New Year's Eve and I am sure will have a blast. And it wouldn't surprise me one bit to have a few comments of regret from that part of the family, but I don't think I will work up much sympathy. And I have prepared myself to tell them, NO, I do not have any points to try to find you something so you can go after all!

 

[kda]

What a frustrating story! But it sounds like you've given them the message that (a) you're not a travel agent and (b) it will really work much better if they handle their own reservations in the future.

I agree that DVC has a lot of flexibility in some ways, but this is an example of when it's just not a simple as cancelling a regular hotel reservation.

 

[rocketriter]

I am definitely not holding these for them any longer. And I really do think that I will tell them in the future that we just don't have any extra points.

If you don't mind the suggestion, you might consider being even clearer with them. Instead of letting them force you to become a liar, tell the truth: that you've twice had your time, good will and investment wasted and you won't let it happen a third time. Yes, somebody might get huffy and try to make it sound like you're the bad guy. But you'll know better, and you'll get more respect in the future.

 

[bearpele]

My extended family decided to take a vacation to WDW. My spouse made it known, we wouldn't be sharing our DVC with the family. So we are at the moment doing the dining reservations for my "extended" family of 7 people and (3 in my party), who can't make up their minds on where they want to have a sit down meal every night. They don't see the reason why a party of 10 needs reservations? I have told them they now have until the end of the month to come up with a game plan, if not I will be making reservations for my family and the rest can "wing" it.
Don't you just love family??

 

[CRSNDSNY]

Fred - Perhaps you've already thought of this and I apologize if you have, but did you ask MS to use the borrowed points with your new reservation so that your current points could remain current and unused and then be bankable?

 

[JimMIA]

First, I going to save this thread to my 'favorites'

Then, if I get the urge to ask the family to come to WDW with us, I will re-read it.

If I still go ahead and ask them, I will require that they read this thread.

Fred's case is actually one of the less severe I've seen here. One reason is the cancellation happened well in advance. The only issue he has is the borrowed points question, and that is probably manageable as others have suggested.

The other good thing about this particular scenario is that Fred responded to it in a rational, level-headed way: "Oh well...their bad, their loss. We're still gonna go and have a wonderful time."

Now, he may choose to send them postcards, daily email trip reports, and call to wish them Happy New Year, but that's just 'cause they're family and he loves them.

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

The OP's scenario is exactly why I rented our points out and used the proceeds to book three rooms w/CRO instead of using 2-3 years of points for a group of 8 people during peak season. I knew if one of them cancelled I could get my money back...it may not have been that easy using points. BTW, everyone ended up going as planned and we had a great time!

 

[bpmorley]

This thread and the thread about how family think they're invited anytime are among my favorites so far.

 

[Cinderpals]

I'm sorry to read that your family ended up not making their plans work.

DVC is for me & my immediate family. If I have excess, or am planning a Disney Cruise, I'll check out the Rent/Trade board. My points are too precious to "give away". Been there, done that! Got burned once to the tune of 50 pts, but learned....a very important lesson: nobody will value or appreciate your DVC points/vacations as much as you do, even if they are a fellow WDW freak.

Everytime I have the urge to offer my points to one of my friends or family members, I think about how I agonized, over-analyzed whether to buy or not, which resort(s) and saved $$ to purchase my points/vacations at WDW. I don't end up using all of my points, but they are mine to use or to lose. I would rather give them to another DVC member who would appreciate even an extra point to finish a ressie.

 

[FredS]

The OP's scenario is exactly why I rented our points out and used the proceeds to book three rooms w/CRO instead of using 2-3 years of points for a group of 8 people during peak season. I knew if one of them cancelled I could get my money back...it may not have been that easy using points. BTW, everyone ended up going as planned and we had a great time!

That has inherent problems, also. Renting isn't always that simple, plus who wants to book at CRO's rates? What if that falls through and you don't have any points? I could go on and on, but unfortunately it comes down to the best route is to give suggestions as requested, but leave it up to the individuals to make their own reservations.

What is ironic is that we have made a few reservations with our points with some rather distant acquaintances (friends, but not that close) which went off without a hitch. It is almost as if the closer the relationship the less consideration the person you are booking for thinks they "have" to give you.

And someone mentioned that they rented a GV and invited many and hoped it would work out. In their case they had 12 people and all was well. In our case we had something similar, in that we had eight people but due to gender and ages it worked out that we really were "full" unless someone slept on the sleeper sofa in the livingroom. My niece (his sister) and my daughter both wanted to bring a friend, and could have done so if he slept there. His mother was absolutely indignant when that was suggested, even though he would have his own private bathroom. So that prevented us from inviting anyone else. One of our changes involved him deciding not to go, then deciding he was going again.........so if you have family who feel entitled to having special accommodations it can infringe on your using your own space, or cause major family fights. How ridiculous, and it is my own family!

Guess what, though? We're going to Disneyworld!

 

[robinb]

Consider yourself lucky. My in-laws cancelled at exactly 30 days before arrival. I *think* they messed up the deadline (30 days v/s 31 days), but I was still stuck with those points in a holding account. I ended up renting them.

 

[bpmorley]

I think anyone that asks to use your points and then cancels should have to pay for them.

 

[kathleena]

If you don't mind the suggestion, you might consider being even clearer with them. Instead of letting them force you to become a liar, tell the truth: that you've twice had your time, good will and investment wasted and you won't let it happen a third time. Yes, somebody might get huffy and try to make it sound like you're the bad guy. But you'll know better, and you'll get more respect in the future.

I agree with Rocketriter. If they ever ask again I would say something without casting the blame, but make it clear that I'm no longer making plans with others. Why should I have to lie? Then hand them information on how to book their own vacation and tell them I would love to go at the same time as them. It keeps them from continuing to ask, and me from continuing to lie about the points.

And if that doesn't work, I would go with Greenban's suggestion.

So sorry that this has happened to yet another DVCer that was willing to share points with family. Most people don't understand just how generous an offer it is - even if there is compensation involved. I have only one family member that I will invite on trips because I know she understands and will not back out on me.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

This is a fear of mine. I am planning a big trip for my family for Aug. '07. I am usuing most of my OKW points to book a GV for us. Then, I have to wait until the 7 month window to book the OKW studio's with my BCV points.

I will be borrowing. I have been planning this since Christmas '05. They all know full well, when I make the reservations, they CANNOT cancel. So far, they seem to understand, know that when they give me the final OK, and I book the room, it is their's, but we shall see.