fair?

[who said?]

IS THIS FAIR? in art class the kids made cards and you can buy a pack of them.so we got our order in on time put thenhen they add a week extension.Well dd said that the art teacher was talking to a girl all the teachers like.she said did you get your order in? no we did not get it in on time. ok bring it in. she did. on a social studies test the same girl cried and said i know i can do better. she got to take it agian. is that fair?i do not thik so my dd did not do to hot on it and half the class did not do well. ido not think that us fair.

 

[camdensmom]

As I tell all of my student's parents at open house, "Believe only half of what your child tells you happens at school and I agree to only believe half of what they tell me happens at home."

I'm certainly not saying teachers and parents should completely discount what children say, but it is important to always keep in mind a margin of error and things getting lost in translation when it comes to little kids.

In this case it sounds like your daughter is perceiving things to be a certain way. Since it is perception there really is not much to do about it. It's not like your daughter brought her money in late and was told she couldn't have an extension while another child did. As far as the test goes, how do you know how the other children did?

Teachers are only at liberty to discuss your own child with you. If you are concerned about your child I would bring it up to the teacher(s), but if your concern lies with another I would remain quiet. Unless, of course this is something that is really bothering your daughter. She could truly believe what she is saying to be true. If that is the case, I would suggest speaking with the teaching, but clearly state that _______ has perceived the situation to be as follows and is very upset by it. Do not assume that the extension or make up are true since you can not prove that they are.

 

[pigget74]

Extention--only if it was the same week that everyone else got. Test nope. In my class if half bomb it I reteach and retest.

 

[daisyduck123]

I wouldn't worry about any of it I'm sure your DD does not have the entire story correct. How could she?.....when someone is eavesdropping on a conversation they are not even involved in, important parts of the conversation can be missed. I would bet your DD does not have the whole story, & it's really no one else's business about the other girl.

 

[who said?]

in the art class the girl was sitting right across from her.in the class when she cried she was in th front of the room were everyone can hear and see.the girl got a c the second time a.

 

[who said?]

As I tell all of my student's parents at open house, "Believe only half of what your child tells you happens at school and I agree to only believe half of what they tell me happens at home."

I'm certainly not saying teachers and parents should completely discount what children say, but it is important to always keep in mind a margin of error and things getting lost in translation when it comes to little kids.

In this case it sounds like your daughter is perceiving things to be a certain way. Since it is perception there really is not much to do about it. It's not like your daughter brought her money in late and was told she couldn't have an extension while another child did. As far as the test goes, how do you know how the other children did?

most of the kids brought in money late and were told no

 

[tripplanner]

I went through a period with my daughter when she was younger where she brought stories like this home. I'm sure some were true and some were probably her interpretation of what she thought occurred. I started explaining to her then that:

a. Life is not fair, so don't expect everyone to be treated the same.
b. Don't worry about someone else, we never really know the whole story.

By teaching her that in the scheme of life, these things just aren't important. I've found that as she's grown, I don't hear anymore of the "that's not fair scenarios".

 

[who said?]

HI my mom told me she posted this thread. i was not spying on the convos.the girl in art was across from me. when other people brought in money late they were told to bad. when she cried in front of the class for the grade everyone could hear what she was saying.now you guot the story stragiht.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

As far as the art cards -- they're a fundraiser right? In that case it's in everyone's interest for them to extend the deadline if they need to. It's great that your DD got hers in on time, but if extending it means more support for the school I'd have a problem. If other people had already been told "No" then I'd feel differently, but even if she was told yes first and others were told no later I'd have to assume that they ordered a few extra (in hopes of getting a few more dollars) and she got the last one.

As far as the test -- did your DD try asking to take it again? If not she has no idea if it's fair. Otherwise, there still could be a lot going on. Maybe the reason why the teachers are so nice to this child is because she's got something go on at home and needs the extra TLC (and that something was considered a valid reason for not performing on the test). Maybe she has an IEP or 504 for some condition that causes variable performance (e.g. diabetic kids can have their performance signficantly impacted by blood sugar levels, and sometimes have the ability to retake tests written into their 504 if they aren't feeling up to it)? Maybe she has an IEP for a LD, and is supposed to have certain supports for studying or for the test. She tried taking it without, didn't do well and so wants to take it again with accomodations -- completely valid. The point is that even if everything your DD told you is 100% accurate (and I'm not doubting that it is at that age) she doesn't know the whole story.

 

[Whosemom]

My MIL has recently gone through brain surgery for a cancerous tumor. We were able to get my mom to come stay with the kids when we made several emergency trips to the hospital that lasted late into the night. What if my mom wasn't close by? We could have missed deadlines, our kids would not have the help they needed to get ready for tests, they wouldn't have had the rest they needed. ETC. They would maybe have needed a break at school, and hopefully they would get it. And I think you would think it was fair, if you knew the whole story. You just don't know what is happening at this girls home. Count your blessings and live with the rules.

Something I taught my kids when I was teaching special ed where everyone's needs were very different, and that I teach my own kids now..."Fair" isn't everyone getting the same, "fair" is everyone getting what they need. And YOU (any person not really involved) may not know what that is.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I'm curious why a child with so many troubles is 'the favorite'. Usually favorite kids are almost perfect and cause no bumps in the road. I would bet that this child is dealing with some private difficulties that the teacher is aware of and that everyone else is not.

Out of curriosity, did anyone actually go over to this girl and see if there was something wrong that they could help with?

In my kids school a little boy in 2nd grade is dying of a rare disease. His Mom just asked for prayers in Mass today. He has 1 brother & 1 sister in the school too. I bet they are sometimes late getting stuff in on time. I bet they get upset easily. I hope no-one makes them feel bad about the 'special' treatment.

 

[Schmeck]

HI my mom told me she posted this thread. i was not spying on the convos.the girl in art was across from me. when other people brought in money late they were told to bad. when she cried in front of the class for the grade everyone could hear what she was saying.now you guot the story stragiht.

I find it very interesting that both the 'mom' and the 'daughter' have the same typing/typo style...

What difference does it make to you in the girl gets the 'special' art cards, or not? Does it make you feel better to think that you have them and she doesn't?

How do you know if this child has an IEP or not? I work with students who are allowed to retake exams.

If you would like to do better on exams, you could practice proper grammar, capitalization and spelling.

How's that for fair?

 

[surfgirl]

I find it very interesting that both the 'mom' and the 'daughter' have the same typing/typo style...

Clearly this is not the mom, since she has other posts that refer to the fact that she is 11.

remember when you were 11? The whole world is against you...

 

[Schmeck]

The first post on this thread has the OP referring to the "dd" not doing well on her test. A later post has the daughter posting...

So, what is going on - is the daughter posting as the mom at the beginning?

I don't let my kids post on any message boards online - and they are older than 11. Perhaps the mother should take more time teaching the child better grammar and punctuation and spelling and compassion instead of letting her be online unsupervised.

 

[Whosemom]

LOL - ok honey, talk it over with your mom, and see if she doesn't agree with the rest of us!

(good catch surfgirl)

Perhaps the mother should take more time teaching the child better grammar and punctuation and spelling and compassion instead of letting her be online unsupervised.

Be fair, fellow readers, and consistant. We don't know how this precious child is getting online w/ out mom.

 

[Schmeck]

LOL - ok honey, talk it over with your mom, and see if she doesn't agree with the rest of us!

(good catch surfgirl)



Be fair, fellow readers, and consistant. We don't know how this precious child is getting online w/ out mom.

Not only getting online, but posing as her mother in her first post - if I found my 11 yr old online, posing as an adult, she'd have more to worry about than a classmate that she seems to be jealous about.

 

[Schmeck]

i do not thik so my dd did not do to hot on it and half the class did not do well. ido not think that us fair.

Does dd stand for something besides daughter?

 

[ferris198]

When I originally read the post, I thought too that the "Mother" was the "dd 11"
I was going to quote on the grammer and spelling, as when they write they both seem to have the same style.

I guess we will have to see if one of them comes back with a response.

 

[who said?]

i have seen other kids on the boards

 

[ferris198]

i have other kids on the boards

i have seen other kids on the boards

Exactly, are you the mother ?
It is hard to tell because your spelling is horrid.