Extremely annoyed....vent

[disfan07]

Since when is it acceptable to tell someone that they are essentially killing their child if they do not breastfeed them????

Today at the gym, my personal trainer and I were talking. We got on the topic of her having kids because right now they are in the process of beginning IVF.
Well, she was telling me about a discussion she had with her OB because she will not be able to breastfeed under any circumstance. So while we were having this discussion I guess one of the other members overheard what she was saying and she said (no joke) "If you can't breastfeed than you shouldn't have a child. You are going to be killing them by giving them formula".....SERIOUSLY????? I wanted to punch her right there. My trainer told her to stick it where the sun don't shine...and a few other no DIS friendly things

Now, I am all for breastfeeding.......As long as you are not flashing your b***s all over the place, nurse until your heart (well...your babies stomach) is content.. I think it's great....if you decide to do it but I don't think less of anyone because they don't. Heck, if I am still taking one of my medictations I am on right now when I get pregnant, I won't be able to breastfeed either. I think its wonderful to EDUCATE parents so that they can make an informed decision but I think there is a line that people do tend to cross between education and bullying

This lady is why some people have the idea that breastfeeding advocates are extreme and a little crazy.

Now, I know there are a lot of moms on here who advocate breastfeeding and I'm very curious....does anyone here hold the same opinion? That not breastfeeding is so bad that if you know you can't than you shouldn't have a child? Was this lady completely out of line by saying this?

 

[Sparx]

I'm sure a lot of people think that. I'm sure a lot of people think that formula is the way to go and breastfeeding is bad. I think a lot of people form these "expert" opinions and force them on others like the gospel truth to validate their own opinions and feelings.

 

[Tantor]

I tried to breastfeed and because of my breast reduction was unable to, so I shouldn't have had my daughter?? What a pile of crock..................

 

[Disneyadore]

Since when is it acceptable to tell someone that they are essentially killing their child if they do not breastfeed them????

Today at the gym, my personal trainer and I were talking. We got on the topic of her having kids because right now they are in the process of beginning IVF.
Well, she was telling me about a discussion she had with her OB because she will not be able to breastfeed under any circumstance. So while we were having this discussion I guess one of the other members overheard what she was saying and she said (no joke) "If you can't breastfeed than you shouldn't have a child. You are going to be killing them by giving them formula".....SERIOUSLY????? I wanted to punch her right there. My trainer told her to stick it where the sun don't shine...and a few other no DIS friendly things

Now, I am all for breastfeeding.......As long as you are not flashing your b***s all over the place, nurse until your heart (well...your babies stomach) is content.. I think it's great....if you decide to do it but I don't think less of anyone because they don't. Heck, if I am still taking one of my medictations I am on right now when I get pregnant, I won't be able to breastfeed either. I think its wonderful to EDUCATE parents so that they can make an informed decision but I think there is a line that people do tend to cross between education and bullying

This lady is why some people have the idea that breastfeeding advocates are extreme and a little crazy.

Now, I know there are a lot of moms on here who advocate breastfeeding and I'm very curious....does anyone here hold the same opinion? That not breastfeeding is so bad that if you know you can't than you shouldn't have a child? Was this lady completely out of line by saying this?

I never did breastfeed my child. It was something I decided from day one I when they told my I was pregnant.
So after giving birth I got pills to stop the milk flow ( sorry don't know if this is correct English) .
I fed my son with formula and he is a healthy grown up with no problems at all. He has no "trauma" I did not breastfeed him.
So do what ever you think YOU are comfortable with and pay no attention to the "Breastfeeding Nazi's'"

 

[Acklander]

eh, you're always going to see people on the extreme level on issues like breastfeeding and circumcision. It's the PETA people who drive me crazy. I'm sure your friend is well aware that if she bottle feeds her child it won't kill him. I just roll my eyes and move on.

 

[wdwmom2]

Way out of line. She wasn't a part of the conversation and should have kept her opinions to herself and her mouth shut!!!!

There is no right or wrong with choosing which method to feed your child. If you can't or don't want to BF, that is your choice, and I respect that.

I tried BF with both of mine. Just didn't work. They were bottlefed babies and turned out just fine.

 

[MIGrandma]

I would not call that woman a lady, because she is most certainly not one for making that comment to your trainer when she was obviously eavesdropping on your conversation with her. It was none of her business, and I'm glad your trainer put her in her place.

Gosh, if what she said is true why are my kids still alive at 34 and 31 years of age? I didn't breastfeed either one. I think it's a good thing to do, if you can, but if you can't it's not the end of the world either.

 

[MerMom60_94]

I breast fed my daughter because that is what I chose to do. I think that woman's attitude is a bunch of hogwash, though. For one thing, I was formula fed and I am on the verge of old age. How on Earth did I survive this long if formula is poison? There are lots of other people like me who were fed formula as infants and I'd challenge this woman to go our there and demonstrate who of us were formula fed and who of us were breast fed. I'm pretty sure she couldn't do it based on our health and appearance alone. Second of all, while I have no regrets whatsoever about breast feeding my daughter, the reality is it didn't take long before she started eating all the other things other kids eat. That includes McDonalds, BK, Wendys, etc. So, yes, I was able to feed her what I thought was her healthiest option for about the first six months. After that her diet became just like anyone elses. That isn't to say she eats all junk all the time but my point is, in the end do you really think six months of mothers milk versus formula made a lifelong difference for her? I am sure that woman was well intentioned but she is obviously misguided.

 

[Darsa]

Aww, man, that means not only am *I* going to die someday, but so is my daughter! Really now, how insanely ridiculous is an idea like that; I'm sure the formula companies are set up just like Dr. Frankenstein's lab, complete with Igor, trying to come up with the most devious ways to kill our children.

Ugh, people like this make me really disgusted; I wasn't able to be nursed, and neither was my child. Hopefully we survive... Well, with any luck, maybe we'll be alive, and just really stupid and unhealthy.

Oh, and hooray for your trainer! Nice to see people who don't just "go along with the crowd" and are able to articulate their own opinions!

 

[Kit'smommy]

I wasn't able to breastfeed and my 6 year old is doing just fine.

Good for your friend in standing up for herself.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Eh, I would just assume the lady is crazy all the time. Don't sweat it.

You will find people giving you all kinds of advice, esp. when you are pregnant. You just have to let it go in one ear and out the other.

 

[luvmy3]

I think that she has a greater chance of being beaten to death for making such rude comments than any child has because of not being breastfed

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I agree that she was out of line. Some people need to learn to mind their own business.

I didn't breastfeed my DD. She just didn't take to it. She is finishing out the school year with straight A's so it obviously didn't impair her brain functionality. Oh, and the only time she missed from school this year was due to Disney vacations and not illness.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

Well, I did both; breast feed and bottle feed. My oldest was a preemie and I couldn't get her to latch on... I pumped for 6 weeks, hated it and switched to formula. I breast fed my next two babies for 8 months each (they weaned themselves, but I would've gone longer)...

There is nothing wrong with giving your child formula, however I do feel that breastfeeding is better for many reasons; IT'S FREE!!!, it's convenient (you don't have to pack up bottles, water and packets etc...), it is nutritionally the best thing you can give your baby--- formula isn't bad, but they cannot replicate breastmilk.... These are MY reasons that I think breastfeeding is better.

I would NEVER judge anyone else's choices or stick my nose in where it didn't belong, but I do wonder about the breast feeding education for especially young mothers though.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Now, I am all for breastfeeding.......As long as you are not flashing your b***s all over the place, nurse until your heart (well...your babies stomach) is content.. I think it's great....if you decide to do it but I don't think less of anyone because they don't. Heck, if I am still taking one of my medictations I am on right now when I get pregnant, I won't be able to breastfeed either. I think its wonderful to EDUCATE parents so that they can make an informed decision but I think there is a line that people do tend to cross between education and bullying

This lady is why some people have the idea that breastfeeding advocates are extreme and a little crazy.

Now, I know there are a lot of moms on here who advocate breastfeeding and I'm very curious....does anyone here hold the same opinion? That not breastfeeding is so bad that if you know you can't than you shouldn't have a child? Was this lady completely out of line by saying this?

You had me until the bolded part. Was that really necessary? I'm so sick of people accusing women that BF that they want to engage in some sort of peep show with the entire world. I would never tell anyone what to do regarding breastfeeding, and I would never insult anyone who chooses not to. But my God, enough with the implication that BF moms walk around exposed all the time. This is soooo old. Come up with a better insult, please.
It's not just some breastfeeding advocates that are " a little crazy".
I nursed my girls when they were young, and I would get go to h*** looks from everyone. And I'm talking hiding everything under a blanket. Do you know how many times I had to go sit on a toilet at Kmart to breastfeed because this was years before they had "family rooms" with nice couches and chairs. So because of people who are anti BF, I got nasty looks and people like you accusing me of flashing my ****s like I'm Pam Anderson.
Good grief!

 

[Disneyadore]

You had me until the bolded part. Was that really necessary? I'm so sick of people accusing women that BF that they want to engage in some sort of peep show with the entire world. I would never tell anyone what to do regarding breastfeeding, and I would never insult anyone who chooses not to. But my God, enough with the implication that BF moms walk around exposed all the time. This is soooo old. Come up with a better insult, please.
It's not just some breastfeeding advocates that are " a little crazy".
I nursed my girls when they were young, and I would get go to h*** looks from everyone. And I'm talking hiding everything under a blanket. Do you know how many times I had to go sit on a toilet at Kmart to breastfeed because this was years before they had "family rooms" with nice couches and chairs. So because of people who are anti BF, I got nasty looks and people like you accusing me of flashing my ****s like I'm Pam Anderson.
Good grief!

Well actual we had a lady with size xxxl on the flight home in May. She took of her shirt and fed here child freely in public a few times.
She exposed both her naked breasts to every one that wanted to take a look. It was an intercontinental flight so she had lots of "public"walking along on their way to the washroom.
The cabin crew asked several times to cover up,brought her a blanked but she refused.
She was better than the films they showed on the flight
Looking back I should have taken pictures for my scarp album.

 

[princessmom29]

You had me until the bolded part. Was that really necessary? I'm so sick of people accusing women that BF that they want to engage in some sort of peep show with the entire world. I would never tell anyone what to do regarding breastfeeding, and I would never insult anyone who chooses not to. But my God, enough with the implication that BF moms walk around exposed all the time. This is soooo old. Come up with a better insult, please.
It's not just some breastfeeding advocates that are " a little crazy".
I nursed my girls when they were young, and I would get go to h*** looks from everyone. And I'm talking hiding everything under a blanket. Do you know how many times I had to go sit on a toilet at Kmart to breastfeed because this was years before they had "family rooms" with nice couches and chairs. So because of people who are anti BF, I got nasty looks and people like you accusing me of flashing my ****s like I'm Pam Anderson.
Good grief!

At least for me, this is not the issue at all. I have NO problem at all with someone's ned to feed thier child, but with people who haver absolutely no consideration for others when doing so. I have a friend who makes absolutely no effort to hide anything at all when she nurses. It doesn't matter where she is. She will sitr there with her b*** hanging out for extended periods getting ready to nurse, and afterwards. She has to wipe both her and the baby down with a wipe after feeding before she will close up and she does this in plain view of everyone no matter where she is and who is there. I think that this is not acceptable behavior for anyone in a public place like a restaurant, mall, or park. I have seen her do it in full view of everyone in all three places. she could be more careful, but chooses not to. She believs that if anyone has a problem with her b*** hanging out that the problem is with them, not her.

I was unable to nurse my now 6 year old DD and was reduced to tears multiple times by people telling me what a horrible mother I was for not BFing her. Everything from you never should have had her in the first place to what a horribly selfish person I am. It was not my choice, but a medical necessity to put her on formula, so it made me feel that much worse. There is nastiness and animosity on both sides.

 

[StDS]

You had me until the bolded part. Was that really necessary? I'm so sick of people accusing women that BF that they want to engage in some sort of peep show with the entire world. I would never tell anyone what to do regarding breastfeeding, and I would never insult anyone who chooses not to. But my God, enough with the implication that BF moms walk around exposed all the time. This is soooo old. Come up with a better insult, please.
It's not just some breastfeeding advocates that are " a little crazy".
I nursed my girls when they were young, and I would get go to h*** looks from everyone. And I'm talking hiding everything under a blanket. Do you know how many times I had to go sit on a toilet at Kmart to breastfeed because this was years before they had "family rooms" with nice couches and chairs. So because of people who are anti BF, I got nasty looks and people like you accusing me of flashing my ****s like I'm Pam Anderson.
Good grief!

YOU were never accused of flashing, nor was anyone else for that matter. It was just simply stated that 'as long as' this WASN'T being done, then there was no problem. There are indeed women who let everything hang out no matter where they are. I have actually seen it in a mall where the unoccupied b**b was hanging out too! This is in appropriate, so I agree with that statement.

However, that is completely off topic anyways, because I think the original discussion was based on whether the person who 'stuck' their nose into the conversation that had nothing to do with them in the first place.

 

[princessmom29]

Well actual we had a lady with size xxxl on the flight home in May. She took of her shirt and fed here child freely in public a few times.
She exposed both her naked breasts to every one that wanted to take a look. It was an intercontinental flight so she had lots of "public"walking along on their way to the washroom.
The cabin crew asked several times to cover up,brought her a blanked but she refused.
She was better than the films they showed on the flight
Looking back I should have taken pictures for my scarp album.

this is the kind of lack of consideration I am talking about, NOT someone discreetly nursing in public.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

as much of a breast feeding advocate as I am, this is waaaaaaaay too much...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIAyxmlk5rg