Extended Family Party Yes or No!

[irishsharon]

So my son will be 10 this June and we have always done a family party.Grandparents,cousins,aunts and uncles......so I'm wondering if I can now just do something special for my son and then just invite granparents for cake? My best friend thinks I should still do the whole family party until he turns 13.Just wondering what you all think

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Do the special thing on another day if possible, and then simplify the big "family" party compared to years past.

 

[WeLuvDCL]

Speaking as an aunt who was not invited to all the family functions that the grandparents were invited to....I say you should still invite everyone. If you were just going to do a friends party or go somewhere, that would be different. But if you are inviting the grandparents, I think you should invite the rest of the family. And it doesn't have to be on his actual birthday or the day you are doing something special.

 

[elf]

I've been debating this for a couple of years now. Kids are now 12 & 14. And I'm still doing it. LOL When I mention to kids of cutting the family party out they get upset and really want the family party. We also do a special outing or they get a gift. But those parties are a lot of work and expensive in my big Italian/Greek family. They excpect to Eat...hot food..no cold sandwiches or pizza for them.LOL

One way I cut down was by stopping the kids only party (or 3rd birthday event). I now have kids invite a special friend or two to our outing or to the family party.

Every year I say "this is the last family birthday party". At this point I'm probably going to keep up til the 16th.

 

[angierae]

I'm of the mind that after 10 or so, big extended family parties are not really about the kid, but more about the adults socializing. My great-nephew just turned 13 and he and his friends hung out in his room and the adults all socialized, and then we opened presents. I think once the kids are having friends over and are more interested in hanging out with their friends, then it's time to switch to a party for friends, and maybe a dinner out with parents/grandparents/siblings.

I really don't think it's neccesary for older kids unless it's tradition in your extended family. My niece is the ONLY one who still throws big parties for her older kid, and it is a little weird.

 

[mapmakerj]

We stopped the big family parties when DS was 10. It was really his decision. Most of his friends had transitioned to just doing something special with a close friend or two. He thought it would be more fun to spend his actual birthday with Mom and Dad and just do a special outing with his best buddies on the weekend closest to his birthday. It also helped with our budget and my DS's sanity because he has some sensory issues and his younger cousins would get on his nerves after a while.

 

[minnierocks]

For us...it is a reason for all of us to get together. We have them until 17 (the year they turn 18 is a graduation party). I know that probably seems like a long time, but we all have really busy schedules and it allows us to spend time together. The gifts are not huge, but we have a meal and enjoy each other's company. It was a little weird this year to not have everyone here for DS's birthday. But I do agree with a PP that stated if you invite grandparents to please extend the invitation to other family members. In my family, somebody would get their feeling hurt if they were excluded. You know your family and maybe that it not the case for you, but at least consider if that would make someone feel left out.

 

[dgr1973]

Like you we always had a big party for the bdays that included my siblings and parents on both sides, also my aunts and our friends and their familes. Anyways I wanted to stop the big party after 10 cause I thought I just looked greedy wanting gifts for my girls, well my mom said "ya know your aunts will send them gifts anyways so you might as well invite them". Needless to say I do them until 13 - gotta love a guilt trip from mom lol! I guess I dont really mind cause that's the only time I get to really see some of the relatives - which is not a bad thing either(inlaws)

 

[a1tinkfans]

if you are saying that you are doing a special something, like a kids party or something...and then grandparents only for cake,id say yes. If its about spending money on his friend party or gathering, then something smaller for family is understood. If you are saying a family party to just cut down on family members, that looks odd to me.
as far as family parties, i think that you should do what you want...personally, we stopped after about 10 and it was never all the cousins etc..just grandparents and a special (paintball whatever) party for him and friends)
For those other aunts etc they and anyone else that wants to, will give a gift regardless if there is a party or not, so in that respect i agree with what someone else already said.

 

[irishsharon]

So my sister and my best friend(who is invited to the party because she is an "aunt" to my kids) said that I really should have the family party until he turns 13.I guess I just was feeling that my ds is the oldest so I don't have anyone elses example to follow.all the cousins are 5 and under so I feel like its getting boring for ds.So I am going to do the family party and since this is double digits I will make a big deal and this will be the last big family party.My dh is going to take him and his boy scout buddies to lazer tag and some pizza.Next year he can choose a fun activity and invite a friend and then we will have his favorite dinner and cake with us and his grandparents(he only has my husbands parents).I know my sister who is his godmother will always do something special for him but I don't want others to feel they have to keep giving ds gifts.

 

[ilovejack02]

Guess Im nuts, I haven't had a big family party since my kid was prob 5 . He started wanting slumber parties and that is a drop and run kinda thing. His cousins are invited , and they come, but Mom and Dad ( his Aunt and Uncle) drop and run. My parents don't even step foot in the house, why would they with 12 screaming boys running around lol. I always have cake for the Grandparents if they are free the evening of DS's birthday , but I don't get my feelings out of joint if they can't make it . They always see him and they will see him with in a day or two. His Godmother will join us for dinner and cake too on day of , but same goes, if she can't make it she will see him very soon . His Godmother has a 5 year old dd, we adore her , but there is no need for her to attend an all boy birthday party . We don't go to her fancy princess parties , but always see her.

I just don't think its necessary to invite all the extended family , he wants to be with his friends and that is what the party is for.

 

[Minnesota!]

We stopped them at 5. We just let the kid choose what they want to do - and the older one chooses Duluth, MN and the younger has chose Mall of America.

I hate gifts...cheap, plastic, made in China crap. We don't need it. My kids don't need it. I refuse to spend money on it. We let them pick an activity and then take them to Toys R Us and let them pick out something....useful. Books, art stuff, out door toys, or one BIG thing they have been wanting. YDS has been begging for a garbage truck so he bought that, a scooter, and a new helmet for his birthday last month.

I think anything over toddler/preschool age..it's more a gift grab than anything. So I would put an end to it and just do something special as an immediate family. Who cares what others think??

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

my daughter turned 11 this year and it was the first year we didn't do a party. Instead, my parents and I took her to a Hockey game and I took her and a friend to the movies. Much easier, it actually cost less (even with vendor food prices) and I didn't hear a single complaint from my daughter or the rest of the family.

I told her we would continue doing this each year until her 16th birthday.

 

[disykat]

How on earth do people do big family birthdays for every cousin or every aunt/uncle/etc.? Do people go to family birthday parties several times a month?

I guess if you have small extended families it's possible, but I don't have a particularly large family and I can't even imagine! There are several birthdays a month.

 

[crisi]

We dropped them when the kids got into school and started having kid parties. We celebrate "group birthdays" with the family. In part because between the end of July and the beginning of October there are seven birthdays, plus the start of school. If we were going to do an individual kid party and a family party for each of them, I wouldn't have a weekend free. But we aren't a big birthday family - my husband's family is and it drives me nuts to have to go to birthday parties for them all every year.

 

[scrapquitler]

So my son will be 10 this June and we have always done a family party.Grandparents,cousins,aunts and uncles......so I'm wondering if I can now just do something special for my son and then just invite granparents for cake? My best friend thinks I should still do the whole family party until he turns 13.Just wondering what you all think

I'd go with just the cake for the grandparents. I think 10 is a good time to start concentrating on just doing something special and just have the grandparents.


You might want to consider a middle ground...invite everyone but just have cake/coffee/punch rather than a whole meal.

 

[GreenCntryGirl]

We did both for as long as I can remember but birthdays were a BIG DEAL to my Nana. But it was never meals and big hullabaloos. It was simply cake and ice cream and then we got to do a "kid's thing" as well. We also had a very small family though...my Nana, my Grandma, my Grandpa, and sometimes my uncle. My birthday is close to the 4th of July so it also got tied into that holiday. For years I thought the fireworks were for me.