Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

[iwrbnd]

He does have an IEP and it seems like we had a meeting every week last year to help his struggles.

I do worry a little about the distractions, especially the computer and books, but he focuses really well and has a good work ethic so I think he would do well! It does scare me to try this, though. Mostly because it's out of my comfort zone. (Out of 12 cousins he's the only one that doesn't have ADD! Weird, huh?)

 

[C&G'sMama]

Thanks for all the homeschooling advice! I'm definitely looking into it especially after I asked my son what he thought and he looked so relieved and excited! He said "Why wouldn't I want to be home schooled???"

About taking away his books. Now that I've thought about a poster's comment (I don't know how to hilight the comment, sorry!) I think they are right and it would stress him out not to have his books. He is reading them at inappropriate times in school so I'll have to address that...unless we home school, then that issue is gone!!! I'm starting to get excited about possibly homeschooling but dread telling the schools. They've tried so hard with him and I don't want to seem unappreciative.

OK as far as being unappreciative. It's okay. You have to do what's best for your child at the time. And tell the school that. Also, the way we approached with DD was one year at a time. If at the end of 6th grade you want to go back to school, you can. That also gives you some freedom to think "if this doesn't work, he can go back to school". The fact that your son sounded relieved is telling too. It could take away some of his anxiety and perhaps the books are a way of coping with the anxiety and if the anxiety isn't there, the books won't be as much as an issue? I don't know.

My daughter does not want to go back to school. and you will be fine. As others have said there are so many resources out there. I think you mentioned there is a lot of stuff in your area. We worried about failing her but at the same time knew school wasn't working. I think she's thriving.


Truth be told, we are worried about HS DS for the same reasons, but we'll figure it out and we made sure we are living in a good district so that if HS doesn't work for him we'd be comfortable putting him in school.

Keep us posted!

 

[Mickeyhead12]

DD12 is done with school for the year I can't believe we made it! She started the year at the regular middle school, went on homebound tutoring for months, and then went to a clinical day school. She started taking abilify in March I think and it has made a huge difference in her anxiety level!

I''m not sure where she is going to school next year. She can go back to the clinical school or the town is starting a self-contained class at the local high school that she can try. She will only be in 8th grade but she will be able to take any electives there if she wants to. We'll see.

We never got the psychological eval finished because she was so anxious but she was able to finish the academic achievement testing with her teacher. I asked the teacher if she though she did so well and was able to work so hard because it was one on one. She said she thinks that is definitely part of it. I've been asking for an aide all year. I think it would be a big help security wise as well as helping her with her work.

We'll see.

Happy Summer everyone!!

 

[ppony]

DD12 is done with school for the year I can't believe we made it! She started the year at the regular middle school, went on homebound tutoring for months, and then went to a clinical day school. She started taking abilify in March I think and it has made a huge difference in her anxiety level!

I''m not sure where she is going to school next year. She can go back to the clinical school or the town is starting a self-contained class at the local high school that she can try. She will only be in 8th grade but she will be able to take any electives there if she wants to. We'll see.

We never got the psychological eval finished because she was so anxious but she was able to finish the academic achievement testing with her teacher. I asked the teacher if she though she did so well and was able to work so hard because it was one on one. She said she thinks that is definitely part of it. I've been asking for an aide all year. I think it would be a big help security wise as well as helping her with her work.

We'll see.

Happy Summer everyone!!

Good luck this summer and fall, and happy summer to you and all!!

 

[toodycat]

Hi, everyone. I'm just checking in. It's been an amazing month. DS just graduated and is all set for college. He is going to a local university and has made contact with the disabilities office. He is also accepted to a grant-funded program that works with kids who face challenges in general. They will provide tutoring, internships, mentoring, field trips and more. He also got his driver's license, so suddenly I've got all this free time instead of being his chauffeur. A friend contacted ASPEN for us and they mailed us ID cards that say he has a spectrum disorder and that his behavior might not always conform to what is expected. This way, if a cop ever pulls him over, he can hand over the ID with his license. He is going to be driving to a socialization program for college age kids with ASDs over the summer. DS is still very socially reserved and I thought it might help him make some friends. He is also taking an online college course over the summer, so that he can carry a lighter course load in the fall. He's really doing well at it. It's interesting how he has no reservations about discussing the course material online with strangers, but he is quiet in a regular classroom!

Hope everyone is doing well.

 

[ppony]

Hello all. i have need of your sage advice on my Schmollander. He's 4 and a half, (5 in Nov.) and still non-verbal. Our biggest issue that I hope you guys might have ideas or experience with is he still cries bloody murder at having his hair washed. He's not so anti-head-wet if it's in a pool, but otherwise, it's like WWIII and we have to almost plug our ears. We keep his hair short thereby helping in not having to do it AS often, but still, a few times a week is just awful. ANy adive on how to help him??? I swear, we've tried everytying we can think of. All those contraptions to keep water out of the eyes, cloths over the eyes, he's not willing to tip his head back. We're at a loss. Once that is done, he settles down for the play time in the bath. We're tried letting him play in teh tub first and then washing it at the end, but it makes no difference.

 

[bookwormde]

Here are my thoughts. Go back to the beginning and us just clear warm water in a large cup or pitcher from the faucet and let him check the temperature with his hand (no recycled bathwater). Quite honestly most people overuse soap on the hair anyway, and this will accomplish 90% of what is actually needed.

Try very small amounts of different no tears shampoos after he has become comfortable with water only. Start at the back and progress over time forward, A lot of our kids actually like a soft scalp massage if it is done slowly and gently. As parents we tend to be in a hurry, so see if you can make it a more comfortable experience. As one who has sensitive eyes, I can tell you that the pain is very real and intense and long lasting, so do the cost benefit analysis wisely.

 

[toodycat]

Does he wear goggles? Some kids like to wear goggles in a pool and consider them fun, so transitioning them to the tub might no be so bad. I agree with everything bookwormde suggested. I would also explain step by step what is going on every time I washed his hair and not vary my routine. I might even ask him to watch me wash someone else's hair first. Also, you say you are washing it in the tub. Might it work to separate bath time and hair washing time? You could do it in the sink or the shower instead. Good luck!

 

[ppony]

Here are my thoughts. Go back to the beginning and us just clear warm water in a large cup or pitcher from the faucet and let him check the temperature with his hand (no recycled bathwater). Quite honestly most people overuse soap on the hair anyway, and this will accomplish 90% of what is actually needed.

Try very small amounts of different no tears shampoos after he has become comfortable with water only. Start at the back and progress over time forward, A lot of our kids actually like a soft scalp massage if it is done slowly and gently. As parents we tend to be in a hurry, so see if you can make it a more comfortable experience. As one who has sensitive eyes, I can tell you that the pain is very real and intense and long lasting, so do the cost benefit analysis wisely.

Thank you! We'll try that.

Does he wear goggles? Some kids like to wear goggles in a pool and consider them fun, so transitioning them to the tub might no be so bad. I agree with everything bookwormde suggested. I would also explain step by step what is going on every time I washed his hair and not vary my routine. I might even ask him to watch me wash someone else's hair first. Also, you say you are washing it in the tub. Might it work to separate bath time and hair washing time? You could do it in the sink or the shower instead. Good luck!

We haven't tried to put them one him in a good long time, but we can try again. Right now, he won't even wear sunglasses, a hat or allow the shade to be down on his stroller. Poor guy. He just doesn't understand. Good thing for sunscreen! Which, BTW, he hates too. BUt gthat's momentary screaming and then it's on.

Thanks guys! Wish me luck!

 

[ppony]

Well, what do ya know. Daniel went into my studio while I wasn't there and brought up a new spritz bottle. He had me fill it w/ water and I've been misting him. He likes it. I started misting his hair, he liked it too! Maybe we've found a way to wash his hair??? or at least it might be a start. As long as we keep it short.

 

[toodycat]

Well, what do ya know. Daniel went into my studio while I wasn't there and brought up a new spritz bottle. He had me fill it w/ water and I've been misting him. He likes it. I started misting his hair, he liked it too! Maybe we've found a wash to wash his hair??? or at least it might be a start. As long as we keep it short.

Yay!

 

[SillyFamily]

It totally sounds like you are overwhelmed.
Have you thought about getting some help since your spouse works so much. A nanny or manny (male nanny) might make all the difference for you. They would give you someone else to share the burden with. Even if you just had them come before and after school and a few hours on the weekend.

 

[toodycat]

Hi,. How is everyone? I haven't seen any activity on this thread for a while. I hope you all are well and that your kids are great. I am writing this from my mom's house in the south shore of Long Island, NY. Many of the houses here are severely damaged and very few have electricity. We've lived for a week at our house with no power because of Hurricane Sandy until it got too cold and we had to move in with my parents until power is restored. DS isn't the best at transitions, but he is holding up. College has been cancelled for a week, but he's been pretty good about studying. He resisted coming here, ostensibly because he was afraid his cat would believe we had moved. However, cat and son are now peacefully sleeping on an air mattress in my Mother's home office.

 

[iwrbnd]

Hi,. How is everyone? I haven't seen any activity on this thread for a while. I hope you all are well and that your kids are great. I am writing this from my mom's house in the south shore of Long Island, NY. Many of the houses here are severely damaged and very few have electricity. We've lived for a week at our house with no power because of Hurricane Sandy until it got too cold and we had to move in with my parents until power is restored. DS isn't the best at transitions, but he is holding up. College has been cancelled for a week, but he's been pretty good about studying. He resisted coming here, ostensibly because he was afraid his cat would believe we had moved. However, cat and son are now peacefully sleeping on an air mattress in my Mother's home office.

So glad you all are okay!!!

We are all doing well so I haven't checked in for a while.

I hope you (and everyone in Schmolland) had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

 

[kirstenb1]

Toodycat, it sounds like you guys are making the best of an icky situation. I just saw your post, and hope you're doing well!!

 

[toodycat]

Toodycat, it sounds like you guys are making the best of an icky situation. I just saw your post, and hope you're doing well!!

Thanks so much. Yes, we are OK. We are in our house with electricity and no fallen trees! DS even did all right on the Poly Sci test he took in the midst of our lives as hurricane Nomads.

 

[Clochette nordique]

Happy New Year 2013 in Schmolland!​

 

[toodycat]

Happy New Year to the most wonderful parents ever!

 

[tinkslite]

My daughter ( age 17), diagnosed w/ aspergers, PTSD, and a lower IQ ( but verbally able thus the aspergers rather than autism diagnosis) has been in meltdown mode ALL DAY. We gave meds and she napped for awhile, but started right back in when I said her name......I hate days like this!!! They wear me completely out and make me feel like I am a bad mother!!!!

 

[Clochette nordique]

My daughter ( age 17), diagnosed w/ aspergers, PTSD, and a lower IQ ( but verbally able thus the aspergers rather than autism diagnosis) has been in meltdown mode ALL DAY. We gave meds and she napped for awhile, but started right back in when I said her name......I hate days like this!!! They wear me completely out and make me feel like I am a bad mother!!!!

1 hug for each year


Poussière de fée!