Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

[Dancind]

Rodeo, your post brings back that hurt in my heart. How can an adult be so mean to a child? DD never said a word. After I got her moved, to a very sweet but slightly overwhelmed male teacher's class, I told her that it was NOT ok for an adult to treat her that way. And she should tell me if it happened again. I need to ask her if she remembers all of that.

It may have been blocked out by the horrible bullying she went through in her Gifted class in mid school. The teacher would just let the boys go at her. Again, she never told me until much later. I wish I could talk to those teachers now. Actually, I wish I could get them fired.

 

[Nik's Mom]

thank you everyone not only for your kinds words and encouragement but for posting your own experiences so i can learn from them.

i am very overwhelmed right now but i do realize this is one of the worst stretches for ds. ot has said that things should turn around soon. finger crossed (and toes, legs, arms, ). im glad to hear that others have had success with ot's because sometimes i feel like im paying for him to play with an adult i also tend to use humour to cope well that and icecream! heehee

a big thanks again!

Hang in there! I am one who turns to humor too. I suggest putting on a funny movie and laugh away!

Both of my ds's survived the first day of school yesterday. DS 8 usually does not handle school well. He had the death grip on my hand and cried when I took him in to school yesterday. But when he got out at the end of the day, they said he had a rough 30 minutes, but the rest of the day was amazing!
DS 11 survived his first day of middle school with no problems. He said he enjoyed science class and is joining choir!

Any lucky Dis'rs taking advantage of the new WDW codes that came out this week?

 

[rodeo65]

Rodeo, your post brings back that hurt in my heart. How can an adult be so mean to a child? DD never said a word. After I got her moved, to a very sweet but slightly overwhelmed male teacher's class, I told her that it was NOT ok for an adult to treat her that way. And she should tell me if it happened again. I need to ask her if she remembers all of that.

It may have been blocked out by the horrible bullying she went through in her Gifted class in mid school. The teacher would just let the boys go at her. Again, she never told me until much later. I wish I could talk to those teachers now. Actually, I wish I could get them fired.

I honestly don't get it. Ok, so my DS requires more work and attention than the "average" kid. If you take my money to teach him - then do what you're paid for. In the case of the second school - that was all it was about $$$. They are a for-profit independant school (unlike current not for profit independant - all surplus goes back into the school for improvements, upgrades and teacher raises) and that director takes her profit very seriously. How else can she afford that fancy Range Rover?

DS didn't talk about it because he was already "in trouble" and in fact he was specifically told not to mention to his parents or he would get in more trouble for telling. Now, tell me in what way that is different from any other form of child abuse? I can't do much because they are not a public school and it would then be a case of suing them ourselves with no proof. Other than, of course talking about our experience to anyone who asks me about this school.

I'm sorry your daughter had to go through what she did, and I hope she has found a way to deal with it in her mind and not internalize it. These things really do stick with children. It's so important to check in regularly with our kids to see what is happening in their world away from home and how they feel about it.

I can't believe (well, yes, sadly I can but it stinks) that your daughter was knowingly bullied and it was allowed and even encouraged ?!? And you're right - I entertained many a "revenge" fantasy...can't fire the director who owns the school but maybe I can get interviewed and publicize it. I didn't, of course, because my son didn't need to go through that, but hanging would be too good for adults who abuse positions of authority over children, especially children who have their own struggles to begin with.

Hang in there! I am one who turns to humor too. I suggest putting on a funny movie and laugh away!

Both of my ds's survived the first day of school yesterday. DS 8 usually does not handle school well. He had the death grip on my hand and cried when I took him in to school yesterday. But when he got out at the end of the day, they said he had a rough 30 minutes, but the rest of the day was amazing!
DS 11 survived his first day of middle school with no problems. He said he enjoyed science class and is joining choir!

Any lucky Dis'rs taking advantage of the new WDW codes that came out this week?

Yay for good first days! We have a few weeks before we get started but are starting daily work to get the routine going again.

We did, we did...had already booked for January - 3 nights at OKW 2 bedroom villa (with my parents) followed by 6 nights OKW one bedroom after they leave. After an hour on hold Monday morning was able to apply the 40% code to both portions!!

 

[Dancind]

I asked her last night if she remembered that picture day, and she doesn't! Blocked it right out. She does remember moving to the other class and being soooo happy.

Our first DVC trip was to an OKW 1 BR, what a great memory. The kids love having that huge living room to themselves! DD would get home from the parks and immediately pull out the bed. You'll have a blast!

I always thought that DD made some big strides whenever we went to WDW. She never had a meltdown there. Actually, DH and I had more meltdowns than she did. LOL Anyone else find this?

 

[toodycat]

As a teacher, may i make a suggestion. Meet with your child's teachers, guidance counselor, school psychologist and an administrator within 2-3 weeks of the beginning of the school year. Introduce yourself pleasantly but assertively and explain what your child will be like in the classroom, how the teacher can best help your child, what modifications he or she is entitled to and how important it is that the teacher contact you immediately if there are any problems, so you can help solve them. I always say, "The only thing I don't like are surprises." The point of my visit is: I know my child has some challenges. If he is acting up in your class or failing, that's OK as long as you call me and tell me, so we can work on it together. As for teasing or problems with other kids, say something like "Socialization problems are a characteristic of ASDs and are part of my child's diagnosis. If they are manifesting themselves in your classroom through his acting out or other kids picking on him, you must let me know, so we can address those issues." Besides accomplishing the obvious, this meeting sets the tone and lets everyone know what you expect and that you want to be kept in the loop. Teachers should never make a child a target, but philosophically some don't understand why our kids aren't in exclusively special needs classes and many elementary and content area teachers have not been given ANY training in autism or ADHD and don't really know what to do. They feel like they've been assigned a task that they are not equipped to handle and that they are being evaluated based on it. (Remember, in a lot of states, teachers are evaluated based on standardized test scores and many of our kids are not great at standardized tests, so some teachers could see them as a threat to their job security.) No teacher should ever make a child a "target" or permit bullying, but, trust me, it is a lot less likely to happen if you call this meeting and let everyone on the faculty involved with your child know that you care and you will be watching. I don't mean it as a time to have another CSE or to be at all confrontational, but just to let everyone know that you are an involved and caring parent. Also, meeting with a group of professionals means everyone knows what was discussed, so no one can say "Oh, I was never told that about so-and-so's child."

 

[Kat77]

Hi Everyone!

Well, I did not even make it to the first day of school before waging battle this year. I HATE being the mom they cringe at just walking in but if I must be, I guess I've mastered the art of it. DD12's schedule was missing Honor Band and the counselor basically said too bad, so sad, and dropped her down two levels (beginner band!!) claiming that was the only band that would fit into DD's class schedule. That was not going to fly (she plays 3 octive scales). We magically found a way to make it work before I left her office.


Our Disney trip was great! Lines were freakishly lite. We got a GAC first thing but only needed it 3x's the entire 8 day trip (TSM, SM, and Buzz). Everything else was either walk on, less than 30 minute waits, or easily coordinated with FP's.
We witnessed a horrible incident at the pool one night so I do not think we will attempt a value resort again until my kids have outgrown the desire to "hang out" at hotel swimming pools above all else. The rooms were great (far away from noises, in nowhere land), we just feel the mod and dlx pools are MUCH better policed than what we saw at the values .

How is the school year starting for all of residents?

 

[iwrbnd]

kat77, sorry you've already had to be "that" parent! But, at least you are also "that" parent that every child needs!

You have to tell us the pool story!

 

[bookwormde]

I had hope the middle school my DS is going to would honer their commitments but 3 days before school and virtually no communication and no willingness for the teacher to meet us individualy (have not even been given a teacher list of full class schedule so that DS can study it ahead of time. Also no chance for DS to meet the teachers is a quiet enviroment ahead of time.

I am beginning to think they put the most imcompitent poeple in the ED positions on purpose.

happy to hear you had a good trip

bookwormde

 

[Kat77]

kat77, sorry you've already had to be "that" parent! But, at least you are also "that" parent that every child needs!

But, I'm always "that" parent ... Laugh Floor could even base a new routine on me being "that mom" rather than "that guy".

 

[Kat77]

I am beginning to think they put the most imcompitent poeple in the ED positions on purpose.

I completely understand the sentiment! Incompetance was at the center of my trist last week seeing it was not my first run in with that member of staff... our last round was five years back at another school regarding the same child. I had forgotten about it until Dh mentioned it afterwards.

What day does your district start? Can you make a visit to the school tomorrow? I know you know this but it's easy to ignore phone calls while much harder to ignore the person standing in front of you. Drop ins are annoying, yet effective. Go ahead and be "that" parent! Join me in lunatic advocacy... and say NO, It can't wait until school starts!!!

 

[bookwormde]

School starts Monday, I am meeting with the Principal this morning and then off to the District special ed director. Every parant who supports their child in the system we have today has to be "that parnet" or nothing good happens and their needs are not met.

bookwormde

 

[ireland_nicole]

ITA; fwiw, we just finished day 4 of school and I've already had one ARD meeting (which I think was fairly successful; I didn't cry or yell even once) 2 phone calls from the nurse and 3 phone calls from the principal. Perhaps I should just buy stock in Advil or Calgon now? I'm sure it's going to be a great year

PS I just read that and I realized we should write the 12 days of Special Ed (to the tune of 12 days of Christmas)

Or maybe I could start working on the "back to school blues"...

Sorry, I'm a little slap happy- should probably go to bed now

 

[rodeo65]

I'm soooo thrilled!! I just had a meeting today with DS's learning services coordinator, who is new to the school this year.

I had mentioned that I was going to squeak this year and I started off by requesting a meeting before school starts with the principal and new LSC. The principal initially told me that she was away this week and we are leaving this weekend and will be away next, so it looked like I'd have to wait until they'd started. I got an e-mail from her yesterday that she was back and could I come in today.

I met with her for a little over an hour - She had already read DS's intake info from his old school (three years ago) and understands the issues he's dealing with from the fallout there. She was also familiar with the school and the director that damaged his early school experience and was especially clear on how she's handle this. She had read his old reports, his ILP, his psych/ed, and all notes from previous ILP meetings. Not only had she read them but she spoke freely about them without consulting notes. She already has a couple of extra accomodations she thinks will be beneficial that she is going to add once she's met him to determine for sure.

She is stretched thin, but said she completely "got" why I wanted this before school meeting, that the face time would be beneficial (with a wink). She has three kids and understands what I was trying to accomplish.

I really think, and hope that this will be a very good year for him. Not to mention that his bully will not be in his class for the first time in the two years he's been at this school!!

 

[bookwormde]

Rodeo 65,

It is great to hear that you have some who "gets it" and is willing to offer addtional help (Most like this do not last long since they make other people do their jobs).

Both of my meetings went very well so I am hopeful.

bookwormde

 

[kampfirekim]

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't been around for a while since getting home from our trip! Boy have I missed you gals...and guys.

Nothing but good to report from our patch of Schmolland. All has been going well so far. Summer was great and the school year is off to an awesome start. I was so sorry to read that some of you are already having problems w/school teachers and thereapists. I'm just gonna consider myself blessed in that area. We've been very fortunate since DS started school to have had awesome teachers, thereapists etc.

Someone posted earlier that they needed to figure out what Scmolland is...

Well, you'll have to go back to MUCH earlier in the thread, I recommend just starting from the beginning. You will find where Rattlenhum posted a piece called "Holland Schmolland" which was a snarky reply to the very naive piece that someone posted call "Holland". Holland was an attempt to put a positive spin on raising a special needs child, but Holland Schmolland nailed it on the head.

One thing led to another and we were all just out of control!

i am very overwhelmed right now but i do realize this is one of the worst stretches for ds. ot has said that things should turn around soon. finger crossed (and toes, legs, arms, ). im glad to hear that others have had success with ot's because sometimes i feel like im paying for him to play with an adult i also tend to use humour to cope well that and icecream! heehee

a big thanks again!

OT does work! Hopefully you have a good one. They do incorporate games and "fun stuff" to get the job done. DS' OT at school is mediocre at best, but our private OT is "da bomb"! ST uses a lot of play to teach as well, but I know what you mean...it looks like more fun that work most of the time.

Humor and ice cream............nothing wrong with that!

But, I'm always "that" parent ... Laugh Floor could even base a new routine on me being "that mom" rather than "that guy".

So THAT was you!

Perhaps I should just buy stock in Advil or Calgon now? I'm sure it's going to be a great year

PS I just read that and I realized we should write the 12 days of Special Ed (to the tune of 12 days of Christmas)

Or maybe I could start working on the "back to school blues"...

Sorry, I'm a little slap happy- should probably go to bed now

Go ahead and spring for the Advil AND the Calgon, you just never know.

12 Days of Special ED? I'm in!

We already have a national song and dance. The holidays are just around the corner so we do need a Christmal Carol to sing.

There should be some sort of Bus Transportation blues. DS' teacher recommended trying him on the bus. He loves buses. After I contacted the bus driver....she said she would be there to pick him up at 6.

6:00. A.M.? R U kidding me!?

The first bell doesn't ring until 7:40.

Nevermind.

I get slap happy too. Many of my previous posts have revealed that fact.

 

[Kat77]

There should be some sort of Bus Transportation blues. DS' teacher recommended trying him on the bus. He loves buses. After I contacted the bus driver....she said she would be there to pick him up at 6.

6:00. A.M.? R U kidding me!?

The first bell doesn't ring until 7:40.

Nevermind.

Added up that's an extra school day spent riding the bus weekly (8 hrs 30 mins) ... AND thats only calculating the AM!

Ignore this link if you don't want to join me in stalking KFK: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2526288 Seriously, we don't wanna miss out on those precious little faces at Disney, KFK!!!

 

[Daisy&Max]

I am beginning to think they put the most imcompitent poeple in the ED positions on purpose.

Wow! Between this and the teacher bashing on the community board I'm beginning to think this isn't the place for a special ed teacher. Maybe its because I'm sick but it really hurts to hear people paint a group with one broad brush.

Daisy

 

[Dancind]

Daisy, I think DD had a couple of teachers that saved her whole school career. Her 3rd grade teacher was a saint, so was the gifted teacher. I haven't seen that thread, think I'll skip it.

I love trip reports! Off to read KFK's.

 

[Kat77]

Wow! Between this and the teacher bashing on the community board I'm beginning to think this isn't the place for a special ed teacher. Maybe its because I'm sick but it really hurts to hear people paint a group with one broad brush.

Daisy

Oh Daisy...Please, please. please do not take that personally!
I love our Sp. Ed teachers! It the bureaucrats who get me worked up since they seem to be the ones who advance. The teachers who rock in the classroom are never moved into director spots, they are just piled on with the most difficult children year after year until burning out. Not an effective way to build up a good department.

 

[MRYPPNS]

Someone posted earlier that they needed to figure out what Scmolland is...

Well, you'll have to go back to MUCH earlier in the thread, I recommend just starting from the beginning. You will find where Rattlenhum posted a piece called "Holland Schmolland" which was a snarky reply to the very naive piece that someone posted call "Holland". Holland was an attempt to put a positive spin on raising a special needs child, but Holland Schmolland nailed it on the head.

One thing led to another and we were all just out of control!

That was me I found it...very funny. It's Post #33 if any newbies are interested in finding it.