Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

[steph124ny]

Prosciutto on a fork...exploding pyrex bowls...sand castles...so this is what Schmolland will have to offer when DS reaches puberty. Bet it's not this exciting in Italy! (Although the sandcastles seemed normal to me. I still do that at 41!



We all need to vent every now and then. Sounds like you've got quite a situation. From the looks of it maybe all the inhabitants of Schmolland need to light torches, grab the pitchforks and storm the castle!

I would be thrilled to provide you with an address and detailed driving directions!!

 

[kampfirekim]

I would be thrilled to provide you with an address and detailed driving directions!!

If I still can't find him, DH has GPS! I'm on my way!

BTW, to our world.

 

[kampfirekim]

This sounds like my son! He hates clothes and enjoys smelly "fingerpainting".

I'm SO GLAD I found this thread! All of you have expressed so many feelings I have. He has absolutely no sense of danger or fear and will take off at any opportunity. And not wander off - SPRINT off! (He runs faster than I do - which really isn't saying much! )

Thankfully I have support. My dh is good with him and I get "breaks" often. My mom is also local and can handle him for a few hours. My sister lives close by and is the only person we can leave him with overnight.

I've also bookmarked this thread. Hugs all around!

My DS5 is a BOLTER too! I call it the Kentucky Derby that never ends! If he can find any sliver of hope for an escape...he's OUTTA THERE! He's escaped church nursery twice (when he was still young enough), he escaped the school playground, unnoticed by his vigilant teacher and 2 aids. (I'm not being sarcastic, they really were fantastic!) Luckily, I was just driving up to pick him up and witnessed the whole scene. He escaped the shopping cart at Target with the 3 point harness system even though I was still hanging onto the cart and only turned for a sec to look down an aisle. I heard a noise, turned around and only saw the back of his head flying through ladieswear. I couldn't find him anywhere and thought he was hiding in the clothing racks. He was already outside the building in the parking lot when he was spotted by a very tall young man who worked there. Almost gave me heart failure (no exaggeration). Hopefully we will have an adaptive stroller before our upcoming WDW trip. If not I guess I'd better have a child locator and running shoes. There may not be much rest in the land of Schmolland, but life's never dull!


I have a great DH and local parents as well. It sure is a blessing to have the love and support you need. I wish I had a sister. I've always wanted one. After reading your post I'm wondering.....could we have been separated at birth? I'm glad I found this thread too. It kinda feels like home.

 

[tabithakp]

i had a really bad day yesterday, or i should say we had a very bad day yesterday! after dropping ds(5) off at school i let myself cry for 30 minutes straight. thankfully by the end of the day i started to feel better and found my humor again! and i needed it!

i should clarify Evan was recently diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and our OT told us today that the new stats were in and for someone like Evan it is recommended that he get 4 to 5 hours of physical activity a day i cant even find an extra 15 minutes a day!

i also need help with socks! were do i get seamless ones! i cant handle putting 10 pair on a day to find a pair that dont feel weird!

sorry one more thing, when evan gets upset he screams looonnnng and loooouuuuud, i can deal with the stares but i would llike to help him, any ideas? im thinking the alert program might help????

thanks

 

[leebee]

I just want to give {{{BIG HUGS}}} to all the parents here, who work so endlessly, so hard, for their kids. I get some of what you are saying, for I work in Schmolland. I am an ed tech, and every day is a new experience. Some days Schmolland seems a lot like Italy (which is where my own trip took me), but some days Schmolland is a far more swinging place than Italy, or even Holland, could ever dream of being! I know about runners, painters, and those who express themselves at full volume. When I return to Italy each afternoon, I am oh, so tired from my day in Schmolland, and often think of those who live there. To be honest (as I can see you are all being), I can't imagine what it must be like to face these challenges day in and day out, with your own child, knowing this is what life will offer for years to come. But I have to ask, do you not have any agencies in your area that offer respite support? I would encourage you to talk with your child's case manager at school (here in ME it's the special ed teacher) to see if there is any kind of community based support available. I am not talking long-term, or even for a weekend, but rather someone who comes in to take on the responsibilities for a couple of hours every day. Working in Schmolland is as fulfilling as it is challenging, but EVERYONE needs a break occasionally. I get mine when the bus leaves in the afternoon... you should have a break too. (I will add that I find the "Holland" analogy far too trite; Schmolland is SO much more realistic!)

 

[Ctsplaysinrain]

i also need help with socks! were do i get seamless ones! i cant handle putting 10 pair on a day to find a pair that dont feel weird!


Try the blue-bottom ones from Target...


Debbie

 

[Ctsplaysinrain]

HI all- I have been busy since this started.. But, Oh how cool!!

I'll have some more to add and I need to read everyone's post.. BUT, I too, have a 14 yr old who spends all the time at the beach building castles and collecting sea creatures... Oh and he still likes to lecture the "surfers" about the dangers of surfing late in the day and statistics about sharks etc....


Oh, but we do call him the "bird whisperer." He really does seem to be able to make seagulls take orders from him.. It's the darndest thing.

 

[Ctsplaysinrain]

I'm wondering- who has WDW trips planned????

 

[iwrbnd]

I'm wondering- who has WDW trips planned????

We're going the last week of July!

 

[Ctsplaysinrain]

We will be there July 26-aug 6 or so... Taking a few days in middle to do space launch perhaps and visit Aunt. maybe a meet up?

 

[cccdisney]

I just want to give {{{BIG HUGS}}} to all the parents here, who work so endlessly, so hard, for their kids. I get some of what you are saying, for I work in Schmolland. I am an ed tech, and every day is a new experience. Some days Schmolland seems a lot like Italy (which is where my own trip took me), but some days Schmolland is a far more swinging place than Italy, or even Holland, could ever dream of being! I know about runners, painters, and those who express themselves at full volume. When I return to Italy each afternoon, I am oh, so tired from my day in Schmolland, and often think of those who live there. To be honest (as I can see you are all being), I can't imagine what it must be like to face these challenges day in and day out, with your own child, knowing this is what life will offer for years to come. But I have to ask, do you not have any agencies in your area that offer respite support? I would encourage you to talk with your child's case manager at school (here in ME it's the special ed teacher) to see if there is any kind of community based support available. I am not talking long-term, or even for a weekend, but rather someone who comes in to take on the responsibilities for a couple of hours every day. Working in Schmolland is as fulfilling as it is challenging, but EVERYONE needs a break occasionally. I get mine when the bus leaves in the afternoon... you should have a break too. (I will add that I find the "Holland" analogy far too trite; Schmolland is SO much more realistic!)

Thank you for your support! My son's teacher and all the aides in his class are amazing and I thank them all the time. I am so very very thankful we are in a district that provides an awesome program for him. His Autism Service Dog even goes to school with him! They welcomed her with open arms, something alot of districts would have fought!

As far as respite, we get 68 hours a quarter. It was 25 hours a month, but with the CA budget cuts they re-organized our respite to quarterly and cut it a tad. But quite honestly I'm thankful they didn't cut it all! We use ALL our respite - mostly for weekend nights out or to do things with the other kids. He also qualifies for Protective Supervision under IHSS which has been a HUGE financial help.


We've had an interesting week. We took him off his morning med (vyvanse) because it seemed to make him more stressed and we were having lots of meltdowns. However now he is continually bouncing off the walls - non stop movement! The good news is he is sleeping better again.

 

[iwrbnd]

In our house it was the Incident of the Exploding Pyrex Bowl. (He was cooking pasta, and the directions on the box said to boil 6 quarts of water. He had never had to use a stock pot before and did not know where I kept it, so instead of calling my office to ask, he tried to use a large pyrex salad bowl that was on the counter, and he put it on the 14000 BTU burner. The result wasn't pretty, but thankfully he wasn't in the room when it blew up, spraying boiling water and glass shards all over the kitchen.)

Lately DH and I are feeling very stressed, and quite frankly, if our marriage survives DS' high school career, it will probably be a miracle. If anything will get us through, it will be that neither of us would voluntarily agree to solo responsibility for DS for more than 24 hours, because puberty has made him utterly exhausting to deal with.

BTW, I had to LOL at the sand castle thing. I honestly never thought twice about how odd it is that he still makes them. However, he does have a preschool-aged little sister who can serve as his cover. (Though it isn't really effective when they constantly bicker about whose castle is better. )

I completely agree with you when you say neither one of you would voluntarilly take on solo parenting! When I'm super frustrated I'll tell my husband "If we ever divorce YOU GET THE KIDS!"

I'm feeling guilty that I get so tired parenting my two ASD kids when I read what others are going through. Mine are mild and I need to stop comparing them to what my friend's kids are like! I need to start focusing on all their positive traits! You all are helping me do that and I'm soooo grateful! I'm humbled by what wonderful parents everyone is and what great examples you are for me! Thank you for that and for showing me that comedy is alive and well in Schmolland! Many of your stories make me laugh!

My sister told me a great story about her friend's child who is on the spectrum. They went to their local aquarium and she couldn't fiqure out why his backpack was all wet. There was a penguin in there! Just trying to picture that kid putting a penguin in his backpack makes me laugh! Yes, Schmolland is a funny place to live!

 

[iwrbnd]

We will be there July 26-aug 6 or so... Taking a few days in middle to do space launch perhaps and visit Aunt. maybe a meet up?

That's exactly when we're going to be there! We're trying to see a launch, too! A meet up would be fun!

 

[kirstenb1]

I just want to give {{{BIG HUGS}}} to all the parents here, who work so endlessly, so hard, for their kids. I get some of what you are saying, for I work in Schmolland. I am an ed tech, and every day is a new experience. Some days Schmolland seems a lot like Italy (which is where my own trip took me), but some days Schmolland is a far more swinging place than Italy, or even Holland, could ever dream of being! I know about runners, painters, and those who express themselves at full volume. When I return to Italy each afternoon, I am oh, so tired from my day in Schmolland, and often think of those who live there. To be honest (as I can see you are all being), I can't imagine what it must be like to face these challenges day in and day out, with your own child, knowing this is what life will offer for years to come. But I have to ask, do you not have any agencies in your area that offer respite support? I would encourage you to talk with your child's case manager at school (here in ME it's the special ed teacher) to see if there is any kind of community based support available. I am not talking long-term, or even for a weekend, but rather someone who comes in to take on the responsibilities for a couple of hours every day. Working in Schmolland is as fulfilling as it is challenging, but EVERYONE needs a break occasionally. I get mine when the bus leaves in the afternoon... you should have a break too. (I will add that I find the "Holland" analogy far too trite; Schmolland is SO much more realistic!)

Thanks for all you do!!! We don't have respite here, but believe me, every morning when dd gets on her bus, that is respite!

 

[persimmondeb]

We'll be at WDW from 5/31 to 6/5. We will likely be easy to spot, since here in Schmolland we are as fond of balloons as we are of sandcastles. We do have to buy balloons with OUR OWN money, however, which keeps it to a dull roar. So does having to drive 1100 miles home with one (or more), or at least that's how DH thinks it should work.

 

[kampfirekim]

I just want to give {{{BIG HUGS}}} to all the parents here, who work so endlessly, so hard, for their kids. I get some of what you are saying, for I work in Schmolland....(I will add that I find the "Holland" analogy far too trite; Schmolland is SO much more realistic!)

Thanks for the understanding and support! I agree. Schmolland IS closer to the truth.

We will be there July 26-aug 6 or so... Taking a few days in middle to do space launch perhaps and visit Aunt. maybe a meet up?

Us too! July 22-Aug 6 at Disney's Fort Wilderness.

We'll be at WDW from 5/31 to 6/5. We will likely be easy to spot, since here in Schmolland we are as fond of balloons as we are of sandcastles. We do have to buy balloons with OUR OWN money, however, which keeps it to a dull roar. So does having to drive 1100 miles home with one (or more), or at least that's how DH thinks it should work.

Roger that! We dropped $20.00 on 2 balloons on our last night last year. (Only because I'd already promised BEFORE I knew the price.) I will add that they lasted for a couple of weeks AFTER we got home. Luckily we were towing a camper, so the balloons rode home in there.

 

[iwrbnd]

Does anybody watch "The Big Bang Theory?" Sheldon reminds me of my 3rd son! (Exagerated, of course) And my oldest son is most like Dr. House on "House". He's smart but not very "other-oriented"! We are constantly saying "THINK OF OTHERS!"

After reading everyone's posts I realize how mild mine are. Their disabilities are mostly hidden. If I compare them to a neuro-typical child they seem different but if I compare them to a typical ASD child they seem normal. I told their doctor in the pool of Autism they got splashed! He completely agreed with my analysis. I think I have a lake house in Schmolland! Some days I visit my lake house more than my regular house and other times I close up my lake house for a while because things are going so well. Last week I was definately visiting my lake house!

 

[kampfirekim]

A lake house sounds nice. My DS swims underwater like a dolphin in the "pool". We live in the heart of the Capitol City of Schmolland, yes irwbnd, a lake house sounds nice. Although I'm sure you'd rather skip the lake house and just stay home.

BTW, I love your anaysis as well.

 

[kaffinito]

i also need help with socks! were do i get seamless ones! i cant handle putting 10 pair on a day to find a pair that dont feel weird!

I just try not to let the seams bother me. Target does have some good ones though - I get mine from the mens section since the material is usually thicker and the seams don't seem as bothersome.

I just want to give {{{BIG HUGS}}} to all the parents here, who work so endlessly, so hard, for their kids. I get some of what you are saying, for I work in Schmolland. I am an ed tech, and every day is a new experience.

I get mine when the bus leaves in the afternoon... you should have a break too. (I will add that I find the "Holland" analogy far too trite; Schmolland is SO much more realistic!)

Kudos for all of the hard work you do! I totally agree with Schmolland being a lot more realistic - the Holland essay did nothing for me, but the Schmolland one had me in tears.

Thanks for all you do!!! We don't have respite here, but believe me, every morning when dd gets on her bus, that is respite!

I too get my respite when the bus leaves in the mornings.

 

[tabithakp]

thanks for the sock advice we actually dont have targets in canada but im going to buffalo in 2 weeks so i will look for them then!

we are planning our next disney vacation for september 13th to the 24th cant decide if we should stay at the poly or beach club?