Excluding A Family Member

[nascar-j]

This really does hit on a lot of sensitive points...

And many have made a lot of good comments on both sides...

I am a medical professional with an adopted son that also has ADHD... My DS is now 10, we adopted him at 2... He understands that his choices have consequences... And his "medicine not working" isn't an excuse.

As far as the OP, grandma pays, grandma picks the rules... The excluded grandson is an adult that is learning the consequences/action connection. ADHD, bi-polar, drug addictions, learning disabilties, abused as a child, bottle fed, etc. should not give an adult that understands right and wrong a free pass for poor choices.

My DS10 knows his medicine just "helps" him make good choices. He also knows that not having his meds doesn't make it OK to make bad choices...

j

 

[Katy Belle]

I think one thing that some people are overlooking on the OP is that the young boy came from a bad past, has ADD and is bi-polor. I mean, these are medical problems that may be the cause of it. Maybe hes not taking the proper steps to controll it, we don't know from the OP, but he is still young and may be figuring things out for himself. Plus lets get a grip here people, this is a family vacation, its not like they are handing a hardened criminal a gun and saying, "Now don't do anything with this loaded semi-automatic." Maybe he needs to be given a chance and shown that the family are willing to trust him before he can take the steps to better himself. All I'm saying is to keep an open mind. Some people are just not good... some people are products of their environment and don't know how to cope in society without a lot of therapy and help... maybe thats all the boy needs, rather than being judged.

OP here.....
I guess this is sort of how I feel. I don't know if the boys has been "better" lately. Now that he's back with his parents maybe he is taking meds and getting his stuff together. My friend feels bad for him, and mostly his parents, but she understands everyone NOT wanting him there.

I do agree that it is NUTS to put others at risk. I guess I hope they give him a 2nd chance when he does get his act together.

I have one brother who was adopted, the rest of us are biological children of our parents. I guess I've always been mindful that he shouldn't get treated differently because of the adoption. That is really the part that bugs me. I wonder if they'd be more willing to give a 2nd chance if he was "blood." My friend sort of made it sound like that is the case That sort of breaks my heart.

Again, I do agree, he should not be invited it he is still a threat. No, I wouldn't want him around my kids if he is. Its really a tricky thing.

Katy