Exceptionally Greedy, Or, Exceptionally Smart...?

[AKL_Megs]

You should have stated that in the op, because knowing that now, I definitely think she was smart.

I guess so!

 

[shortbun]

Who says that's the reason she's not getting married. Maybe he doesn't ever want to get married. Maybe she decided that marriage didn't make a difference in her first relationship so why do it again. They live like this on 100,000 a year? I don't think so!! Although it's a lot of money, unless you invest wisely and live simply-even on 100K a year, you don't have a 'lavish' life. Don't either one of them work? There are lots of double 100K income couples who don't even live like the OP described. I think there is money from somewhere else.

 

[pixiewings71]

She's smart....and perhaps he was as well. My girls' Gpa (their Dad's Dad) had a "live in" girlfriend for years and years.....she paid for her ex to go to college (ie she put him thru vet school 100%) and she put up a bunch of money for him to start his own practice, when they split she left the house to him (he was a vet for both large and small animals and needed space for animals as big as horses or cows) and the land it was built on, he paid her mucho dinero for alimony. She did not remarry until the ex agreed to rewrite the divorce agreement in her favor....basically she is now remarried (she's the step-Gma now lol) but the ex still pays her monthly, the judge thought it was fair because of their past. The ex also cheated quite a few times and there is other "history" as well.

I think the person in the OP's story is smart, altho I will say that $100,000 doesn't go very far it would be more than enough for me to stay home and not have to work ever again.

 

[Buckalew11]

I don't know what she is but he is an idiot!!

He could have had the divorce decree say that he would pay that amount for so many years (giving her ample time to learn to support herself) or unless another man moved into her home.

From what I've learned in the past year, there are like 5 or so kinds of alimony. I'm hoping my sister will go for this type (as in the OP). She put her DH through school from the time he was 21 til he was 36. He worked FT 1 yr. of that period. They've been married 35 years this June and he is seeking divorce.

At 54 with a HS diploma and after being a SAHM for 22 years except for working FOR THEIR business, going back to school and supporting herself in the lifestyle she is accustomed is a far-fetched idea. Sad, but true according to the lawyers she has spoken with. Hard to hired with no experience at 60, I guess.

Anyway, I'd vote smart but wonder how religious convictions might work into this type scenerio. That'd be tough for me if I were in this position.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Maybe paying $100,000 is chump change after living with that woman and the doctor is very happy now.

We don't know all the details, but I think the ex-wife is very wise.

 

[TLSnell1981]

So the ex-wife and her boyfriend attended the wedding of the cardiologist and his now wife? Did I read that correctly?

If it was agreed upon as part of the divorce settlement, then I don't see anything wrong with the cardiologist paying her $100,000/year.

If they were married for a good many years, and she was a full-time home-maker, housewife, whatever you want to call it, she would probably have a hard time finding a decent-paying job after the divorce. So maybe the cardiologist thought it was fair for her to receive that amount in alimony while he was still working. Even if he didn't think it was fair, it was part of the divorce.

I don't really see it as her being greedy.

Smart.

I think the woman described above is playing it safe. What if she remarried and then it didn't work out. She could be out more than a million dollars! Her partner is lucky to have a woman with some financial sense.

I agree and I don't blame her, not one bit.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Who says that's the reason she's not getting married. Maybe he doesn't ever want to get married. Maybe she decided that marriage didn't make a difference in her first relationship so why do it again. They live like this on 100,000 a year? I don't think so!! Although it's a lot of money, unless you invest wisely and live simply-even on 100K a year, you don't have a 'lavish' life. Don't either one of them work? There are lots of double 100K income couples who don't even live like the OP described. I think there is money from somewhere else.

Well, I know people who make $120 or so and live on a lake, drive nice cars, and take nice vacations. LOL!

Anyways, yes, they work, he owns a landscape company.

 

[Disney Doll]

She's smart. He's stupid, or had a lousy kawyer or a guilty conscience.

The divorce decree should have read that he'd pay her alimony only if she did not cohabitate with anyone, male or female.

I have a friend who's divorcing and his wife is getting alimony and that's what HIS divorce decree will state. As he says, he has no problem with her receiving alimony...they were married 30+ years and she is the mother of his children (not an infidelity issue, a mental health issue on her part), but he has no intention of paying for the living arrangements of anyone else other than her. If she gets into a live-in relationship with anyone else, she's lost her alimony.

 

[FredinFL]

Maybe she worked her nubbinz to the bone putting him thru medical school or something? Without more background I'm just going to have to say smart. He agreed to it.

 

[Danibelle]

Smart.

Disclosure: I get a military spouse retirement and would lose it if I ever remarried. I will never get married again, because I lost all those years moving so many places. I couldn't continue my education during those years, nor could I keep a job without having to give it up a year later. I figure that is my retirement for that portion of my life, and I need it since the rest of my retirement will be smaller because I started late. Now to hear my ex, I'm stealing his money; but that's not the way I see it.

I think the woman described above is playing it safe. What if she remarried and then it didn't work out. She could be out more than a million dollars! Her partner is lucky to have a woman with some financial sense.

Very smart!

 

[a1tinkfans]

A woman is married to a doctor. He is a well known cardiologist, and brings home big bucks. They have four children together.

They divorce.

It is decided that she will receive something like $100,000 in alimony a year for as long as he works, and she will receive a portion of his social security once he retires stops working... AS LONG as she never remarries.

She meets a new man and they start a life together.

Fast forward 15 years. The children are long since grown. The woman is still with her new man, and they enjoy a luxurious life in a house on a lake, drive nice cars, take lavish vacations, etc., all on the doctors dime. They have been together, living together, for 15 years, but HAVE NOT married.

So, she still receives her $100,000 a year in alimony.

Is she exceptionally greedy? Or, is she exceptionally smart?

FWIW, it is said that the doctor and HIS new wife, and the ex-wife and her boyfriend were ALL very civil at the wedding! The definition of "Game Face"

(A distant relative got married, and this is the GROOM's mother and father...)

Exceptionally smart IMHO. Not agreeing to it, but she apparently gets away with it, so
if she is getting 100K..... he must pull in $$$$$, and her money is a drop in the bucket to him to just be rid of her.....imagine the respect they had for each other during the marriage...

 

[Gigi22]

Really, does it matter? I have read a lot in the newspaper about couples who find each other after losing their respective spouses, and are unable to wed because it would result in the loss of survivor pensions.

 

[Andtototoo]

I would also add that she may have additional reasons beyond financial to stay unmarried.

I know many women who did not marry after a divorce or death. They found they preferred their freedom to walk away whenever they want without having to untie legal strings.

if this lady's first marriage ended in divorce because he was eating cookies out of someone else's jar, she may be leery of firing up the oven on a permanent basis again.

 

[LadyZolt]

It is decided that she will receive something like $100,000 in alimony a year for as long as he works, and she will receive a portion of his social security once he retires stops working... AS LONG as she never remarries.

Just wanted to jump on to clarify that a spouse is entitled to half of his/her ex's social security even if he/she remarries provided that the other marriage also ends (no matter how it ends -- death or divorce). There are lots of aspects of social security that one should research before making a decision. And if one does not remarry, one can collect half of the ex-'s social security (provided they were married for 10 years or more), or all of one's own, so it is good to find out the details before deciding.

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[pospisil]

Greedy.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I know a doctor who recently divorced, 4 children and has to pay his ex-wife $16,000 a month.

So maybe she wasn't smart or greedy enough.

 

[TurkA77]

Not sure what state this is in, but would Common Law Marriage nullify the alimony?

 

[donaldduck352]

Sounds like Alan on Two and a Half Men story to me!!!!

 

[Styx Fan]

Depending on the situation, I think a spouse should be able to continue even if they remarry. And especially if they just live together. I find it strange a divorce settlement could be written with the rule he/she could not even have a live in of either sex.

So lets get this straight....a person could work to put their spouse through higher education, then stay home and raise their kids. Meaning the spouse gets better earning power and the stay at home ruins their own earning power. The the better educated one strays from the marriage and dumps the at home one. The at home spouse gets alimony (and rightly so in my book), but would lose it if they remarried....but the cheater could remarry and be happy and be even happier if the dumped one remarries because they don't have to keep paying? seems really, really wrong to me. Seems the at home spouse EARNED that alimony through the years by helping the worker be able to achieve their success.

And note I was careful not to label it husband or wife because I don't think it matters .

I know this can happen, but it just seems an at home parent should be protected. Of course, I'm biased because I have been at home for almost 10 years and am now 47. Anything happens to my marriage and I'm toast

 

[PaulaSB12]

Disgusting, free loading little so and so. She has a new life but expect her ex to fund her its so wrong on so many levels. I am not suprised though that so many think its a good idea if it was the other way round you would be slagging the husband off.