Ex spouse trumped my vacation to WDW with the kids

[LuLuO]

Something doesn't add up here...

The divorce was final June 3rd, a Friday. You stated he was married that Friday in an elaborate church wedding followed by Mexico honeymoon. How does one plan an elaborate wedding and honeymoon when they don't know the day they will even be legally allowed to marry? So the entire guest list was given a few hours notice to show up once the divorce became final? Unlikely. A honeymoon planned at the last second? Doubtful.

The children aren't allowed to the wedding, and how could they with only a few hours notice in another state, and now have their cell phones turned off. Seems like extra drama for the sake of drama.

Then, after being gone on a honeymoon, he turns around and is gone another 2 weeks in Disney? This person has no job? Is very wealthy? To be able to afford a wedding, honeymoon, and 2 weeks in Disney in the same month he must be able to afford it and child support (possibly spousal support) payments would be quite large. Yet you seem to be struggling financially... You also claimed your DVC was foreclosed on, so is his new bride the source of all this suddenly found money?

Something doesn't add up.

Wow. Judge much? Does OP have to give you every detail of her finances, her ex's finances and the details of her divorce in order to be able to post about a crappy thing that happened to her?

Good greif.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

I'm so very sorry. My heart is breaking for you and your kids. What a flippin TOOL your ex is!!

I'm sure your kids know he's a jerk for doing this and it's put a damper on their enjoyment. My dad did something of this nature when my mom took a 2-week trip to Europe with my grandmother. My brother and I kept telling him mom would be pissed but he pushed us through. I felt horrible knowing how upset mom would be but what could I do, I was just a kid being told what to do by my dad.

PLease let your kids know that you're ssssooooooo not uspet with them (I know that meant a lot to me when my mom did) and that you do hope they have a good time. Keep to yourself the wishes of a boulder falling out of the sky and landing directly on top of the new Mr & Mrs, though . Assure them, and yourself, that you'll have a great time when you take them in a few weeks.

Each trip is unique and yours will so. very. special with wonderful kids who understand what you've gone through to get there.

 

[WDSearcher]

Talk to your kids about it.

This is the best idea of the whole bunch.

It doesn't matter at all what a bunch of strangers on a message board think you should do for your kids. It matters what your kids think.

But because you asked ... I think cancelling a WDW trip that you and your children have saved for, dreamed about, talked about, wished about and immersed yourselves in simply because someone else came along and surprised them (for whatever reason) is discounting all those memories that you all made together as you planned and saved. You're telling them that none of that matters because YOU feel bad. This trip doesn't count because YOU didn't get to do it first.

Well .... this one's not just about you. It's about them too. And about the three of you as a family unit. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, talk to your kids and then take that magical trip you've planned.

 

[babiipiggiex3]

Im so sorry to hear about what your ex husband did! Could it be that he didn't know about this trip that you guys had planned? Either way, it seems your kids would probably enjoy being with you at Disney too! So don't sweat it. Since you've got the tickets and already made all the reservations necessary, just take your kids, go & have a wonderful time! There's never enough days to go to Disney that a kid would say "I'm so tired of coming here!" I'm 20 and I still wish to go back every year! I'm sure they would absolutely have a great time with you there this time!

So go on, and enjoy it! Don't let your ex husband dampen all the efforts you put into planning this vacation!

 

[princessreilly]

Bummer! I would tell the kids to have a good time anyway, but still be bummed out. When they get home I would ask them what they want to do. They may choose something else that doesn't cost as much, since they already went. Maybe you could even do a cruise instead? I would leave it up to them...

 

[wtccheermom]

Something doesn't add up here...

The divorce was final June 3rd, a Friday. You stated he was married that Friday in an elaborate church wedding followed by Mexico honeymoon. How does one plan an elaborate wedding and honeymoon when they don't know the day they will even be legally allowed to marry? So the entire guest list was given a few hours notice to show up once the divorce became final? Unlikely. A honeymoon planned at the last second? Doubtful.

The children aren't allowed to the wedding, and how could they with only a few hours notice in another state, and now have their cell phones turned off. Seems like extra drama for the sake of drama.

Then, after being gone on a honeymoon, he turns around and is gone another 2 weeks in Disney? This person has no job? Is very wealthy? To be able to afford a wedding, honeymoon, and 2 weeks in Disney in the same month he must be able to afford it and child support (possibly spousal support) payments would be quite large. Yet you seem to be struggling financially... You also claimed your DVC was foreclosed on, so is his new bride the source of all this suddenly found money?

Something doesn't add up.

REally!!!!

 

[OhdahLolly]

Something doesn't add up here...

The divorce was final June 3rd, a Friday. You stated he was married that Friday in an elaborate church wedding followed by Mexico honeymoon. How does one plan an elaborate wedding and honeymoon when they don't know the day they will even be legally allowed to marry? So the entire guest list was given a few hours notice to show up once the divorce became final? Unlikely. A honeymoon planned at the last second? Doubtful.

The children aren't allowed to the wedding, and how could they with only a few hours notice in another state, and now have their cell phones turned off. Seems like extra drama for the sake of drama.

Then, after being gone on a honeymoon, he turns around and is gone another 2 weeks in Disney? This person has no job? Is very wealthy? To be able to afford a wedding, honeymoon, and 2 weeks in Disney in the same month he must be able to afford it and child support (possibly spousal support) payments would be quite large. Yet you seem to be struggling financially... You also claimed your DVC was foreclosed on, so is his new bride the source of all this suddenly found money?

Something doesn't add up.

It actually isn't a big stretch when you think about it.

I am a child of divorced parents, I was there for my sisters divorce, and when I first met my husband through friends he was going through a divorce..etc. In those cases, both the attorneys knew when the divorce would generally happen to the month.

It wouldn't be difficult to plan a big wedding if you knew that the divorce would be final in that same month or close. What is in question is it being 'official'. So in that case you'd just have to have the paper work, wait until it was final before sending it in. You wouldn't have to wait to have a big wedding with family and friends before this happened if you didn't want to. Friends and family consider that official, even if the law does not.

Most people I know get anywhere between 2 weeks and 4 weeks vacation a year. So again, feasible.

And yes, why wouldn't the OP seem to struggle? She's a single mom with primary custody of 2 children. While her ex does not have primary custody, and has a now working spouse to add to income.

 

[BigEars151]

Wow. Judge much? Does OP have to give you every detail of her finances, her ex's finances and the details of her divorce in order to be able to post about a crappy thing that happened to her?

Good greif.

Pretty much this entire thread has been bashing the exhusband (or should i say children's father).

There is no way that anybody on here can make a judgement way or another other as to what is going on in this situation. The problem is that most people will automatically side with the mother. I agree with the previous poster that this story is so full of holes. And sorry I think that your friend calling him on vacation is crazy.

At worst the children's father is being childish and vindictive but he is still spending time with his children and taking them on a vacation. Really people are saying how selfish this guy is and then suggesting or implying the the OP should have stopped him from taking the kids to disney so the it didn't put a damper on her trip? So what if the OP's feelings are hurt that she isn't the first one to take them after the divorce (despite all the comments otherwise sounds a little selfish to me) like some other people have said it should not be a competition. Be happy that they are going and then turn around and have a great time yourself.

Whoever's fault it is the said thing is that the children will pay. I think the OP needs stop playing the maytr, move on with her life, and enjoy her trip with the kids to disney.

 

[DisneySarah80]

So sorry your EX did this - Obviously your kids had told him about the trip, and he did this out of spite against you. The irony is, its really the kids its hurting.
I say that if you don't go on the trip, you'll only be punishing the children further. Go on the trip and enjoy yourselves like you would have before this happened.

 

[Plaid Sheep]

Go on the trip... Your ex is an a$$ and your kids will probably learn it if they haven't already.
Go on the trip... don't let him win... or get the last word... or know that he can push your buttons this way... you let yourself be a door mat and he will ALWAYS walk on you.
Go on the trip.. because your little family deserves this and your kids know that. You all sacrificed for it and that will make it that much sweeter.
Go on the trip...each trip is different and besides... it will be a trip with YOU for your kids.
Go on the trip.. because there is no such thing as "too much Disney".

 

[snykymom]

Yes, I just read all 17 pages, and agree that you need to go on this trip with your kids. It's a different experience at AKL than off-site (and yes, off-site is still a Disney vacation, but a different one). It'll be the three of you.

Your kids also are now old enough to understand what their father just did. Don't think they don't. You don't have to say anything "bad" about him - they know.

He's trying to get your goat. Don't let him. Smile - it's the best revenge.

If they're exhausted from the trip with him - all the better. They know that they can relax with YOU. With him and his new wife, they're visiting - with you, they are HOME.

And please forgive me, all you wonderful stepmothers out there, but I can't think of a better place for kids to be on their first trip with the quickie stepmother than in the shadow of Cinderella's Castle! Maybe they can meet the Tremaines while they're there!

 

[DisneySarah80]

Pretty much this entire thread has been bashing the exhusband (or should i say children's father).

There is no way that anybody on here can make a judgement way or another other as to what is going on in this situation. The problem is that most people will automatically side with the mother. I agree with the previous poster that this story is so full of holes. And sorry I think that your friend calling him on vacation is crazy.

At worst the children's father is being childish and vindictive but he is still spending time with his children and taking them on a vacation. Really people are saying how selfish this guy is and then suggesting or implying the the OP should have stopped him from taking the kids to disney so the it didn't put a damper on her trip? So what if the OP's feelings are hurt that she isn't the first one to take them after the divorce (despite all the comments otherwise sounds a little selfish to me) like some other people have said it should not be a competition. Be happy that they are going and then turn around and have a great time yourself.

Whoever's fault it is the said thing is that the children will pay. I think the OP needs stop playing the maytr, move on with her life, and enjoy her trip with the kids to disney.

Gotta love the "first time posters" on a thread like this.... Whos taking guesses as to who this really is???

 

[JoshuaShaw]

Sorry, I have to agree with the other poster. FOR ME it is not a real Disney vacation unless I'm on property. I can't even imagine going and not being on property.

When one's options are "go to Disney and stay offsite" or "Don't go to Disney", it gets pretty easy to imagine.

 

[BigEars151]

Gotta love the "first time posters" on a thread like this.... Whos taking guesses as to who this really is???

I assume that you are trying to imply that i am the OP's ex. That is fine. Not that it matters but I am a divorced father who is remarried to a wonderful lady, that is a great stepmother to my child. I lurk a lot, wife posts often. I am not taking sides but it really bothers me when a situation like this comes up and we are only getting one side of the story.

I see you didn't address my point but instead decieded to just attack me. I am not taking side i don't have enough info. But seriously the point should be don't worry take your kids to disney and have a good time. Seems most posters have focused their energy on how she is the better person, parent and that the kids will not enjoy their time with Dad or that they will have a better time with Mom (although some have given very good advice) to the extreme of saying that she should have stopped him or needs to call the police.

 

[tjmj9801]

Pretty much this entire thread has been bashing the exhusband (or should i say children's father).

There is no way that anybody on here can make a judgement way or another other as to what is going on in this situation. The problem is that most people will automatically side with the mother. I agree with the previous poster that this story is so full of holes. And sorry I think that your friend calling him on vacation is crazy.

At worst the children's father is being childish and vindictive but he is still spending time with his children and taking them on a vacation. Really people are saying how selfish this guy is and then suggesting or implying the the OP should have stopped him from taking the kids to disney so the it didn't put a damper on her trip? So what if the OP's feelings are hurt that she isn't the first one to take them after the divorce (despite all the comments otherwise sounds a little selfish to me) like some other people have said it should not be a competition. Be happy that they are going and then turn around and have a great time yourself.

Whoever's fault it is the said thing is that the children will pay. I think the OP needs stop playing the maytr, move on with her life, and enjoy her trip with the kids to disney.

Gotta love the "first time posters" on a thread like this.... Whos taking guesses as to who this really is???

You took the words right out of my mouth, Sarah. I'm willing to bet this person at least knows him.

 

[declansdad]

Not taking sides but I do see that this thread has followed the usual Dis pattern. Mother good, father bad - all based on one side of the story.

 

[rie'smom]

OP, if you can't get out of your contract, then go. Since I don't know your ex or his new wife, I can't be 100% sure but anyone who can have a big wedding and not invite their own kids sounds pretty selfish. Because of thus, perhaps he and his new wife are doing what they want to do on the trip. Maybe they aren't taking your kids wants into consideration. On your trip, do what the kids want to do. If you do not go, then you're basically throwing your money away. If you could reschedule with the DVC member, then I'd do that. Be sure to keep in mind his time with the kids so he won't have the option of saying no to your travel dates.
I'm sorry that you're going through this but even more I'm sorry that your kids are having to deal with it. It's so tragic when kids are put in the middle.

Not taking sides but I do see that this thread has followed the usual Dis pattern. Mother good, father bad - all based on one side of the story.

I'm taking the mom's side because it seems that the dad has purposely tried to steal her thunder by taking their kids to the same place their mom had planned to take them. It was spiteful. If this same thing had happened in reverse, I would have posted the same same thing, switching the genders.

 

[sydneysmom]

Not taking sides but I do see that this thread has followed the usual Dis pattern. Mother good, father bad - all based on one side of the story.

totally agree. I think some people are so quick to take the story to a whole new level.

IF the ex husband knew that the kids mom was taking them to Disney, then yeah, it was pretty crappy that he went and took them to spite her. But if he DIDN'T know that they were all going, maybe he's just trying to be a good dad. It shouldn't be a competition. It should be for the love of the kids, not "who's better" or "who can spend more".

I married a man who has a very young daughter. He's the best father that anyone could hope for. His ex is the spiteful one and the one that does things to ruin someone else's surprise and uses my step dd as a pawn. When my step DD is with her, she is alone 90% of the time... her mother doesn't want to spend time with her, she wants the child support. it's very sad.
She's the love of my life, and as another posted implied, not all step parents are the Tremains. Some of us step parents TRULY love our step children and wants what's best for them.

So, sometimes things aren't always what they seem. Sometimes that dad isn't crappy.....sometimes he too, is just trying to find a little peace. Without the whole story, I think the best we all should do is pat the OP on the back and tell her to carry on and take her kids on a magical vacation.

 

[DisneySarah80]

I assume that you are trying to imply that i am the OP's ex. That is fine. Not that it matters but I am a divorced father who is remarried to a wonderful lady, that is a great stepmother to my child. I lurk a lot, wife posts often. I am not taking sides but it really bothers me when a situation like this comes up and we are only getting one side of the story.

I see you didn't address my point but instead decieded to just attack me. I am not taking side i don't have enough info. But seriously the point should be don't worry take your kids to disney and have a good time. Seems most posters have focused their energy on how she is the better person, parent and that the kids will not enjoy their time with Dad or that they will have a better time with Mom (although some have given very good advice) to the extreme of saying that she should have stopped him or needs to call the police.

I haven't followed everything here, so I may have missed it, but if this man took these children out of state, it would be illegal, and she should call the police!! I think I read something about a 10 hour drive... that could still be within the state, but you bet your butt, if my EX took my children that far away from me, without telling me, wheather it be Disney or not, I'd be either driving myself down there to get my children, or calling the police to do it for me.

 

[disneydreamgirl]

Not taking sides but I do see that this thread has followed the usual Dis pattern. Mother good, father bad - all based on one side of the story.

Not sure why you're going here...OP asked for support and there are lots of threads on here that are pro-Dad and great examples of Dads who participate here that are fantastic. (That being said, I haven't read every post.)