Ex spouse trumped my vacation to WDW with the kids

[Buckimion]

To paraphrase Tito from Oliver & Company:

If two trips to WDW is torture, chain me to the wall!

 

[dwelty]

I know this kind of pissed you off, but why should the kids care.

If my kids could spend 17 days in Disney they would be elated!

I suspect that the only reason your daughter texted you was because she knew you were upset and feels caught in the middle. If you make a big deal about this you kids will only associate their Disney memories to Mom and Dad's ugly divorce.

Go ahead and go and have fun with your kids!

 

[mkoerner]

Wow that stinks. Since you are so close to your arrival date and are renting points, you probably can't move your dates to the holidays when Disney is even more magical. Therefore, I say go anyway. Ask the kids what they would like to do and make your own memories. As others have said, try not to say anything negative about him already taking them and have a truly wonderful time. I am sure they will remember this when they are adults. Words to live by when someone does something really crappy: What goes around comes around! I am a firm believer in karma and everything happens for a reason.

 

[luvthemouse71]

I would still go- I wouldn't give the jerk the satisfaction of canceling. The great thing about WDW is that each trip is different. What ultimately matters is that your kids will be there with you. Your kids will see you being the bigger person.

Kids aren't dumb..they know when they have an *** for a parent, especially when they get to the pre-teen/ teen years. I wouldn't show them that has gotten to you..even though I think your ex is a total ********* for doing that to you.

 

[DisneyMim]

Your ex sounds like a piece of work. Actually he sounds kinda like my own father, and we didn't have a very good relationship as adults because of what he did to my Mom. ANYWAY, I would go on your vacation as planned. Don't let him "win". IMHO he did this just to "get back" at you, for spite. It may be that he wants to ruin your trip, so all the more reason to go. This way he will know that you are not going to "back down" because of him. It was rotten of him to get married so fast after the divorce. My father remarried very quickly too, and even though I was an adult I did not go to the wedding. I think it was maybe a good thing that your kids were not there. They have been through too much as it is. ANYWAY, again sorry for babbling, but I would just go. So what if your kids just went. This will be a whole different trip. Go, hold them close and have the time of your life!!!

Enjoy The Magic!!

 

[mom2rtk]

This shocked me when I read it because almost the exact same thing happened to my mother when she and my father divorced. He wasn't remarried, but he knew what my mother was doing (saving ever last penny for our Mother Daughter Trip) and he in turn gave me the trip of a lifetime.

Here's the thing: I enjoyed the trip with my mom more than I did with him. My father and I stayed at the Poly, went for 8 days and did everything imaginable. My mother and I stayed at Pop and were there for only 5 days. I still had more fun with my mom because it felt really good to know that I had helped save for that trip. I had earned that trip with my mom and it meant more to me than something that was just given to me.

Talk it over with your kids and see what they think and maybe the money can go towards some other fun vacation or keep it and save for another year and have your very own whirlwind Disney vacation with them. But trust me when I say that they will appreaciate the trip with you more than they probably will with him.

How wonderful of you to post this. I imagine this post alone will get the OP through the next few weeks.

To paraphrase Tito from Oliver & Company:

If two trips to WDW is torture, chain me to the wall!

LOL!




Put a smile on your face OP! Text your daughter and tell her you hope they're having an awesome time (because you DO hope THEY have an awesome time.....even if you're secretly hoping they drive the new squeeze crazy!) And tell her that she and her brother are on a reconnaissance mission scoping out ideas of what they do and don't want to do on their upcoming trip with you.

And just imagine how much fun you'll have with just the 3 of you along. Is this the first trip you will make with the kids without your husband? Judging by his behavior, your trip will be your best of all because you wont' all be catering to HIS wishes.

KIM POSSIBLE missions in Epcot anyone?

And I LOVE the stay up late for EMH and sleep late plan! The MK is BEAUTIFUL at night. And I hear the last hour or so you can ride anything with no wait.

Find a star to wish on late one night. And make a wish for peace in the family. A girl can dream, right?

 

[Splashboat]

You are a wonderful person to think so much about your children - but what about you? You deserve the trip too! You are obviously looking forward to it. Go, do all the things you planned and don't make it competition. You are obviously the one who takes the 'high road' and your kids will benefit from that - and they will remember that many, many years from now when your 'ex' is on his 3rd or 4th wife.
(I asked my kids and they said they would LOVE to go back to Disney shortly after coming home.) This is your family vacation and your kids are going to love it because they are with you.

 

[Princesca]

We're painting this guy as a real slimeball, and maybe he is, but the other thing that occurred to me is that, deep down, it's possible that he envies his kids' closeness to their mother, and doesn't really know how to improve the situation. So, in a rather juvenile fashion, he takes something she's doing, that he knows they'll love, and copies it, beating her to the punch.

I dunno - it always helps me to deal with anger toward people if I can actually find a way to turn it into pity.

 

[kikik]

I have just joined and mainly been a lurker, but I had to reply, because my heart is breaking after reading your posts. My mum and I took a trip to WDW together 2 years after my parents' divorce and it wasn't about Disney or fun, it was about healing and enjoying our first trip together in our new family. We were counting our pennies, stayed off-site, and it was the best trip ever because it was ours. For the first time in 2 years we weren't sad because there's something truly magical about being there, especially after you've been through something so traumatizing as a divorce. I would definitely go, and I am absolutely sure your kids will have a wonderful time with you, because there's nothing like being at Disney with a parent that so obviously treasures their happiness more than anything. I would go and do my best not to mention their trip with their father, just be all about your time together and how much fun you'll be having. I'm so, so sorry you're going through this.

And a suggestion - during Wishes, wish something as a family. I did that with my mum and it was a really lovely moment for us.

 

[JUJU814]

How wonderful of you to post this. I imagine this post alone will get the OP through the next few weeks.



LOL!




Put a smile on your face OP! Text your daughter and tell her you hope they're having an awesome time (because you DO hope THEY have an awesome time.....even if you're secretly hoping they drive the new squeeze crazy!) And tell her that she and her brother are on a reconnaissance mission scoping out ideas of what they do and don't want to do on their upcoming trip with you.

And just imagine how much fun you'll have with just the 3 of you along. Is this the first trip you will make with the kids without your husband? Judging by his behavior, your trip will be your best of all because you wont' all be catering to HIS wishes.

KIM POSSIBLE missions in Epcot anyone?

And I LOVE the stay up late for EMH and sleep late plan! The MK is BEAUTIFUL at night. And I hear the last hour or so you can ride anything with no wait.

Find a star to wish on late one night. And make a wish for peace in the family. A girl can dream, right?

oh man...I'm not the OP and you just made ME cry! Now THAT is the magic of Disney.

Mom, you and your kids are going to have a magical time together..I can just feel it in my bones!

 

[Kona65]

Would you and your kids consider a Disney Cruise? Even going during the holiday's would be special. You can get some very special deals during the Halloween season. The Halloween party at the MK is simply wonderful.

 

[mom2rtk]

We're painting this guy as a real slimeball

That's because he is.

I We were counting our pennies

Just reminded me........

Pressed Penney collection anyone?

Get Passports for Epcot on Ebay......

I'm sure there's more........

 

[JUJU814]

We're painting this guy as a real slimeball, and maybe he is, but the other thing that occurred to me is that, deep down, it's possible that he envies his kids' closeness to their mother, and doesn't really know how to improve the situation. So, in a rather juvenile fashion, he takes something she's doing, that he knows they'll love, and copies it, beating her to the punch.

I dunno - it always helps me to deal with anger toward people if I can actually find a way to turn it into pity.

he could have started with having them at his wedding. Or..how's this..telling them?

I see what you're saying...and I get it..but it's pretty hard to have pity over this.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

I just wanted to let you know how appalled I am at your ex's behavior. Since you can't get your money back I agree you should go. You guys worked hard for this trip and I hope you have a great time. Yes, what he did was bad, but don't let it in anyway put a damper on your trip with your kids.

 

[nicoleakr]

GO GO GO!!! They did not go with you!!! The nice parent!!!What an A$$!! I hope you find a prince charming really soon!!! I think the fact that your daughter was upset should tell you that she would like to experience it with you! Go and have fun!!

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

What a spiteful man. I'm sorry. My opinion is that you still go and have a wonderful time! It can't possibly be the same trip to them and from the sounds of it your daughter would rather it be with YOU! Maybe ask them now what they did (restaurants etc) and try to plan a little differently as much as you can. I KNOW my kids would not mind going again even so close! How old are they???

ETA: What kind of a father has a big wedding without his kids present!! Definately take them......they will have more fun with you.

Not to make any excuses for him and I am giving him the benefit of the doubt, but maybe he didn't invite the kids to his wedding to spare their feelings, not because he didn't want them there.
I went to both of my parents second weddings (I was 27 for my dads and 31 for my moms) and I just had an awful feeling. It was just weird. I am not supposed to see my parents get married. And my parents were and are still great friends, but it doesn't change the fact that it was not a great feeling. So can you imagine younger children watching their dad marry someone, after only a short time being divorced from their mom? Imagine how they would have felt thinking about their mom at home while they are there? What an awful feeling for them it would have been. i am glad that they were spared that.

Now him taking them to Disney World, there is no excuse. That was really spiteful.

 

[sillylily]

I am soo soooo soooo sorry. My opinion? Do it. Just the way you planned. It is a celebration of your new family. They've sacrificed for this one, which will make it sweet for them. You will be able to enjoy what you've planned for. Are they staying in the same resort? That will be different. Take the time to recover. This trip will likely be stressful for them, dealing with a new stepmother. It sounds like they are very thoughtful children, and would probably be devastated if you cancelled. Even if they are tired. They will be with YOU.

I couldn't have said this better myself! I would NEVER give him the satisfaction of stealing my thunder, or theirs, and I would go and have a fantastic time. The three of you have worked your backsides off; go and don't give him a second thought!

 

[Zeppelin]

Is there any way to postpone your trip. Say in October-December. You could take advantage of some of the holiday events. That would make it a totally different experience. Otherwise I say go, enjoy your kids. You earned the chance to take them.

what a d-bag, but i second this opinion if at all possible....go for the Halloweeen or Christmas festivities if at all possible....it'll give you another few months to save more $$ and it will be more memorable for the kids....we took our daughter to Mickey's Christmas Party six years ago and she still talks about it...

 

[SafetyPinndSally]

OP- this guy sounds exactly like my father, for which I hold the utmost sympathy for you and your children because his childish ways will probably only get worse. My father didn't come to my college graduation, which I had been working hard towards for four years and graduated with top honors. I was crushed, but then I looked out and saw my Mom in the audience with tears in her eyes because she was so proud and happy for me. I miss my dad, but I have come to realize that I don't need him because I have such a great mom. I hope and I know that your kids will feel the same way as they grow up. Kids can sense things in people that adults can't and you're daughter at least seems to understand the underhandedness of the whole situation.

Go with your kids and forget him and his new piece...let them be miserable at home thinking about what a wonderful time YOU are having with your kids.


I know I sound overly passionate about this whole thing, but I've been there done that and I know how hard something like this is, especially on the kids and the only ADULT in the situation.

 

[Dreamer7787]

I'm a lurker, but this post made me feel the need to post.

I agree with many PP that you should definitely go on this trip. If your kids are anything like me and my siblings were growing up (and even now a days lol) being able to go back to Disney a month after having gone would have been very welcomed! Not only that, but you planned this trip as a family. Sure surprise trips are great and all, but there's nothing like planning a Disney trip as a family and then executing those plans together.

Go and enjoy being together. Your trip will be totally different from the one that they are on right now because you will be there and it's the trip that they helped to plan.