Ex spouse trumped my vacation to WDW with the kids

[sissy_ib]

I thought about postponing but I am now within that 31 day window and I rented points from a DVC member signing a contract. grrrrr..... I worked extra hours every week leading up to now so I could take the week off without losing any pay since I do not have a job with benefits or vacation time.

Ok you have to go then! AKV is amazing and the kids will love it! There is a ton to do with out going to the parks so even if your kids are tired from this trip you can still have a great time. Spend some time at the pool, take park in the resort activities, go to DTD. Try to find something that none of you have done before.

 

[jjas]

WOW!!! My heart is breaking for you as I read your post.

Please still go on the awesome trip you have spent so much time planning and working towards with your kids. As many people have said, Disney World is a huge place and you will find plenty of great things to do.

From what you have said he seems to be about the games, so don't let him win by letting him cast one cloud on the trip you have planned with your kids!!

Much pixie dust coming your way for an AMAZING trip !

 

[mybestieismickey]

I am so sorry this happened. I would ask the kids what they want to do. Maybe they would love to go back right away, and maybe they want to wait a few months. Perhaps go during the fall or early next year. Just make sure they know the trip is about you all as a family and not about you. Yes you are disappointed that you didn't get to go back all together, and it's okay that they know that. But make sure they know that waiting a bit for your trip is okay too. Ten days at WDW is exhausting, so it may be too much for them. If you do go in July, look into doing things they missed or maybe put together a scavenger hunt. There are tons of things they will not have done on the trip with their dad. Ten days is not enough to cover the entire resort!

Whatever you choose to do, don't beat yourself up over someone else's actions. And don't spend your entire trip with your kids worrying and comparing. When you're there together it's not about him. Have a great time when you get to Disney! Whenever that is

ETA: Just read that you can't postpone, so go anyway. Maybe you'll need more downtime, but that's great cause you have an awesome resort to hang out at!

 

[flipflopmom]

I am soo soooo soooo sorry. My opinion? Do it. Just the way you planned. It is a celebration of your new family. They've sacrificed for this one, which will make it sweet for them. You will be able to enjoy what you've planned for. Are they staying in the same resort? That will be different. Take the time to recover. This trip will likely be stressful for them, dealing with a new stepmother. It sounds like they are very thoughtful children, and would probably be devastated if you cancelled. Even if they are tired. They will be with YOU.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

I would go.

I would definitely go.

Forget about this spontaneous trip they are taking now-if they did not plan it as extensively as you have planned yours I'll bet they aren't doing much of anything but standing in lines, or hanging by the pool, or eating CS.

Go, have a great time, nothing is ruined AT ALL.

 

[MYD714]

This trip meant more to us that just being at Disney. It was a celebration of a new chapter as a new little family. A 2.5 year divorce is no picnic for anyone.

This is exactly why you should still go. You need and deserve this trip together.

I'm sure, as previous posters have stated, that your kids will still love another trip to WDW (I know I'd love this!). When they get back from this trip, ask them about it. Get a feel for what they did, and try to focus on doing a few things differently. WDW is so huge; there's no way they are seeing everything in 10 days. Also, I'm sure there are things that they are rushing through and would love more time experiencing.

It sounds as if the three of you have put a lot of thought, time, and energy into planning your trip. It would be a let down to cancel it. You should go and have a wonderful time.

This trip is about your new life as a family, and that's what you should focus on--just spending time together. It won't matter what rides they've already been on or what shows they've already seen--it will only matter that the three of you are experiencing them together and making new memories to share for the rest of your lives.

 

[Tara922c]

Did he know you were planning on taking them to Disney in two weeks? How spiteful! My friend's ex-husband did something similar to her last Christmas. Her daughter wanted a Mac lap top for Christmas, she bought a lap top, but it wasn't a Mac. Not because of the price, just because she found the lap top she did buy to be better quality. Anyway, Christmas Eve her ex-husband picked up her daughter, and took her to the mall, went to the Apple store, and bought her the Mac Book. My friend was so upset! She already had her lap top under the tree, so she just went with it.

I say go. Your kids will still have fun, and have a new experience because they are spending time with you! Don't let your ex-husband ruin your trip!

 

[TaraPA]

I'm so sorry for you! I'd be so angry right now, I'm sure you are!

I was also going to suggest postponing, but now I see you're renting points & have a contract, so you're pretty much stuck going. I don't know what the cancellation policy is if you're renting points - I'm sure the renter wouldn't be too happy to have to change things for you.

Where are they staying right now? AKL is incredible & will be an experience in itself. There is so much to do at the resort that will be new to them (unless they're staying there now).

For what it's worth, I went twice in March - I was only home 6 days between trips - and I had a BLAST on the 2nd trip. I was apprehensive that I'd be bored but I wasn't. Not at all. I got to re-do my favorites & the things I missed the 1st trip, and tried some new things too.

 

[palmtreelover08]

Like a Pp said- now the kids may know what they would like to skip and what they really liked- I'n addition- this trip will be different because it is with mom-how about a special place to watch the fireworks- you will also have different photo ops and lots of different good times.

One of the first thing my ex said when we were separates was that he was going to take dd to Disney before me- and he didn't even like Disney- ripped my heart out- I feel your pain.

 

[mirage0306]

Oh my word. My heart sank reading your post. I am so sorry your ex did such a selfish, spiteful thing. That is truly appalling behavior.

I would go. If there were a way for you to postpone without any penalties i would have advocated that solution, but no way would I pay a cancellation fee because of your ex's disgusting antics.

Despite the fact that your kids will just have been there, I have a feeling this is going to be a very special trip for them. They helped you save, they helped you plan, they were a part of the choices and decisions going into this trip. You guys had a countdown together. I'm sure they were excited to go to Disney, but I know part of it was that they were excited to go with YOU. And that is something that your ex simply can't replicate when he tries to pull the rug out from under you and ruin your plans.

This is a special trip because it is for you and your kids. Go. So what if they were just there? They weren't there with you. I bet this is going to be the most special Disney trip they've ever taken.

 

[jm-mom]

What an awful thing for him to do. I can only hope he made the trip for the kids and not about besting you. I'd say go ahead and take the trip with your kids like you'd planned. Chances are it would be more fun and less stressful than the one they are on now. You worked as a team to save and should reap the rewards together too.

 

[walkdmc]

can momma offer them something totally different than dad and how do I pull it together in the next two weeks? Hardcore Disney fans, please step up.


Very sad in Ga,
Heather

Of course you can offer them something different, you!

Don't avoid talking about the trip with your kids. Talk about what they did and what they want to do. Chances are, with actions that selfish, he won't have done stuff with them they wanted to do. So, make it a point to list the stuff they wanted to do while on vacation with them, then go do those things. Keep the list handy and check off stuff.

Hopefully he did the pricey stuff, LOL.

 

[huge mickey fan]

So after reading that you have all planned together and worked out your schedule then I say go for it and have fun. Others have said find out about what they didn't like on the trip with dad. I say don't bother. Go with your plan just as you made it together. I wouldn't even consider his trip. YOU AND YOUR KIDS MADE PLANS TOGETHER. Go with that. Get on the plane and put everything else behind you. This is your chance to start over!

 

[TaraPA]

From your sig it looks like you've stayed at some really nice WDW resorts - can you think back to anything special you did at the resorts that the kids might like? Maybe others here can help you come up with some free fun things to do that dad wouldn't have thought of - like watching Wishes from the beach at Poly or going to a movie on the beach or campfire with Chip & Dale. I'm sure dad is trying to buy them over with paid-for fun at WDW - so he might be overlooking some really awesome free things that yuo can do!

 

[DaisyMaisie]

I am so sorry for everything you have been going for I cannot imagine how horrible it is for you and the kids.

Now for some hard truths. When I read the title, I imagined something much worse, such as out of spite your ex would not let you take the kids out of the state.

It must have been so awful for your kids to be excluded from the wedding. Always remember that your ex is a part of your children, and when he does something lousy it is a huge loss for them. Also, if you ever insult him they will feel like you are insulting them.

So for the sake of your kids you have to be the bigger person. That is the biggest gift you can ever give them. If he is an ******* they will figure that out and respect you all the more for not making them feel worse about it. It sounds like you are the one who is there day in and day out and they will always love you for that. You are their MOM!

How sad that while they are with their Dad in Disney they are crying because if the guilt they feel toward you. Please reassure them that you want them to have a fantastic time right now!!! And try to mean it. If he is an ******* at least they will always have the memories that he did this one thing for them.

They will probably still have a great time with you, but whatever you do, don't compare the two.

 

[Planogirl]

Personally I would still go. The trips are kind of close together but if I read it right, they are about a month apart. I doubt that the kids will be bored.

 

[tink20]

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry you are going through this. My sister is dealing with her EX (BIG JERK) too. So, I know how difficult they can be. Just remember, don't lower yourself to his ways, always put your kids first and loving them and making them happy is the most important thing.

If I were you, I would save the money for a future WDW trip, put it away in a separate account so you can't touch it and plan another trip with them(maybe this fall or Xmas). Or maybe you all could go somewhere else. Do what is best for you and your kids.

 

[walkdmc]

How sad that while they are with their Dad in Disney they are crying because if the guilt they feel toward you. Please reassure them that you want them to have a fantastic time right now!!! And try to mean it. If he is an ******* at least they will always have the memories that he did this one thing for them.

They will probably still have a great time with you, but whatever you do, don't compare the two.

 

[mossy1]

I would go.

I would definitely go.

Forget about this spontaneous trip they are taking now-if they did not plan it as extensively as you have planned yours I'll bet they aren't doing much of anything but standing in lines, or hanging by the pool, or eating CS.

Go, have a great time, nothing is ruined AT ALL.

I was thinking this exactly!! Show them Disney the right way!!

 

[MYD714]

Of course you can offer them something different, you!

Don't avoid talking about the trip with your kids. Talk about what they did and what they want to do. Chances are, with actions that selfish, he won't have done stuff with them they wanted to do. So, make it a point to list the stuff they wanted to do while on vacation with them, then go do those things. Keep the list handy and check off stuff.

Hopefully he did the pricey stuff, LOL.

I agree!

You are the most important factor to this vacation. WDW is just the facility where you've chosen to make your memories. You will be the one actually making the memories.

In all my trips to WDW, I remember the things my family said and how we spent time together way more than what rides I went on or what shows I saw. The people you're with make the trip special. You will all have a great time!