Evite Etiquette questions

[rie'smom]

Somehow evites etiquette seems like an oxymoron. I can understand email and texts but for something like a bridal shower it seems like the hostesses should send out a more formal invitation. I guess the next thing will be a text or email thank-you for shower/wedding gifts.
OP, this is not directed at you but to the people who sent the evite. BTW, I think evites are fine for a backyard BBQ or something similarly informal.

 

[design_mom]

I think for both events you would be okay to ask the hostesses for clarification about who exactly the evite was intended for. I think asking "I wasn't sure if the invitation was only for me, or if it was intended for the family." is different than asking "Can I bring a guest?" Or even "Do you mind if DD comes with me?" If you're uncomfortable asking, I would probably err on the side of caution and go without DD.

The e-vites I've received have all been follow-ups to conversations that I've had (so I knew who was invited prior to receiving the evite).

I don't get caught up in too much of the formalities of things like "Mrs. Rose Smith" or "Mrs. John Smith." But an invitation has a purpose -- to communicate details about the event, including when, where, and who's invited. If an e-vite can do that clearly (or if you've passed that info along in another way) then I'm totally fine with e-vites. But if it can't communicate the info it needs to, then the sender ought to pick something else.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think for both events you would be okay to ask the hostesses for clarification about who exactly the evite was intended for. I think asking "I wasn't sure if the invitation was only for me, or if it was intended for the family." is different than asking "Can I bring a guest?" Or even "Do you mind if DD comes with me?" If you're uncomfortable asking, I would probably err on the side of caution and go without DD.

The e-vites I've received have all been follow-ups to conversations that I've had (so I knew who was invited prior to receiving the evite).

I don't get caught up in too much of the formalities of things like "Mrs. Rose Smith" or "Mrs. John Smith." But an invitation has a purpose -- to communicate details about the event, including when, where, and who's invited. If an e-vite can do that clearly (or if you've passed that info along in another way) then I'm totally fine with e-vites. But if it can't communicate the info it needs to, then the sender ought to pick something else.

I think the problem with this is that on an evite, it lists the number of people invited per invitation. So, if it says one, it's probably just one.

 

[design_mom]

I think the problem with this is that on an evite, it lists the number of people invited per invitation. So, if it says one, it's probably just one.

If it said "1 person is invited" then I agree, only that person is invited. But none of the e-vites I've received have specified. They just say "[host] has invited you to [event name]." You can be singular or plural.

I just got an e-vite for a birthday party and I don't see anywhere on it where it says how many are invited. (I've got it open in another browser window right now.) I know who's invited because it's my niece's party and my sister already told me about it -- but the e-vite just has a "how many are attending?" drop-down in the RSVP and I can pick anywhere from zero to 10. None of the e-vites I've received have listed how many are invited (or limited how many I can choose when I rsvp).

 

[Scurvy]

In the case of the ornament party, I would assume that the invitation would just be for the person it was emailed to unless someone else was mentioned in the evite. So if the host believes the account to just be your email address and not a family address, then I would think your daughter wasn't invited. If you think the host has reason to believe it's a shared email address then I'd call and clarify. (But since email accounts usually belong to only one person, I'd only ask if there's a good reason she might think it's a family account - like the address is something like OPsFamily @ provider.com, or if she's emailed your daughter using that account in the past.)

For the shower, I would assume that only you are invited since no one who isn't actually invited to the wedding is supposed to be invited to the shower.

 

[mamacatnv]

If your daughter was not formally invited to the wedding ceremony, then the proper etiquette would be that she is not invited to any shower.

Good to know, thank you.

I'm firmly in the camp that it's better to call and clarify than to assume. Personally, I think it's rude to use the evites for something like this. Something less formal, sure. But if you're saying there's enough older relatives that don't use a computer or are confused...probably not the best method to send out invitations (but hey! it's cheap!) So seriously...go ahead and put them on the spot. You're asking an innocent question, don't feel any guilt

I'm with you, I think an evite is way to casual, but I am older and I like some formality even if it is not as popular as it was when I got married 25 years ago.

Also: some people aren't aware of etiquette on sending an invitation. My fiance got an invite to a wedding from an old friend. He assumed I was invited as well because when he talked to the bride she mentioned "oh I can't wait to meet her." But the invite only had his name on it. Told him to just call and check...she didn't know that she should have put "and guest." There's a lot of rules out there!!

Sort of a reverse etiquette error. My DS was sent his own invite to the wedding, addressed only to him, no guest so we are assuming (correctly I believe) that he and he alone is invited.

Personally I LOVE Evites. If your DD was invited there is a way to add her to the invite so I would say she is not invited to either. It wouldn't hurt to email about the ornament party but I would consider her not invited to the shower.

The evite I am looking at doesn't even have my name on it.

Somehow evites etiquette seems like an oxymoron. I can understand email and texts but for something like a bridal shower it seems like the hostesses should send out a more formal invitation. I guess the next thing will be a text or email thank-you for shower/wedding gifts.
OP, this is not directed at you but to the people who sent the evite. BTW, I think evites are fine for a backyard BBQ or something similarly informal.

I agree, I think it is way to casual

If it said "1 person is invited" then I agree, only that person is invited. But none of the e-vites I've received have specified. They just say "[host] has invited you to [event name]." You can be singular or plural.

I just got an e-vite for a birthday party and I don't see anywhere on it where it says how many are invited. (I've got it open in another browser window right now.) I know who's invited because it's my niece's party and my sister already told me about it -- but the e-vite just has a "how many are attending?" drop-down in the RSVP and I can pick anywhere from zero to 10. None of the e-vites I've received have listed how many are invited (or limited how many I can choose when I rsvp).

This is how the 2 I received are structured.

Thank you for all the input.
I am not taking DD to any of the events and I am not going to call the hostess for clarification. If they can't sort out how to send an invite then I am not going to worry about it, I will take myself and my gift and be done. No big deal.

I am also most likely not taking her to the wedding ceremony because then someone has to run her home before the reception and that is afterall the cocktail hour. Don't want to miss the cocktail hour, it is about the only way I will survive the following 4 hours with some of the more colorful members of the family that I have not seen in years who will be in attendance.