Ever get a gift that made you a teensy bit mad?

[cornflake]

OP is upset because her DD has different priorities. IMHO, she has the right to tell her daughter that she is making questionable decisions because 1) its her daughter and 2) she has been on the hook to help with the car, etc.

As for the $500 from Grandma...is it possible that DD thought an IPad would be a gift for the house? I mean you can't eat it like its expensive chocolates. You can use it at home can't you? Either DD thought it was a gift for the home, or she is one of the many twenty somethings that is only interested in #1.

As for getting the gift...your daughter's thoughts were in the right place even if her priorities are not.

My inlaws enjoy getting me gifts to make fun of my weight. When we were newly married and I was just overweight...they would buy me nightgowns that you could put a whole circus troupe in at the same time. I seriously hated getting clothes meant for the person too fat to leave the house. Over the years, I have gotten a little heavier. So now, they will get me a size 12 dress and say...I hope its not too big. I mean who couldn't wear something so enormous!

Hubby and I have birthdays 9 days apart. His Dad likes to take HIM out for his birthday. They just spring it on him when I'm not around. So one night, hubby comes home and says that his Dad had taken him out for his birthday. I thought...how special for you, but was ok with it. He then said...they got you a card. Oh so they remembered my birthday, but didn't want to take me out...Yay! Well, let's see the card. I thought it can't be worse than last year's card. The year before they had gotten me a card that said...its not your birthday until the fat lady sings...and then the inside had a fat lady singing. Well...the only thing worse is to get the exact same insulting card.

The point is...there are worse gifts. Your daughter meant no harm.

I'm sorry, you speak to these people?!

After the first time, if no groveling apology for being moronic twits was forthcoming, I'd say you should have just not gone near them again!

 

[pigletto]

I'm sorry, you speak to these people?!

After the first time, if no groveling apology for being moronic twits was forthcoming, I'd say you should have just not gone near them again!

No kidding!
That's just ridiculous.

 

[lady9]

So my question (and it's a general question)...

Is anyone simply happy with the holidays anymore?

Generally, yes, I love the holidays. In my family we we just give to the kids in a cousin exchange. They draw names at Thanksgiving. Grandma and Grandpa give the kids a few gifts and a gift or 2 to the adults, and we buy for them. One child "wins" the giving box with $20 in it to be used to do something nice for someone or someone in need. They have all year to do this. We start our celebration on Christmas Eve with the child who had the box reading what he/she did with the money. It has really helped our kids know the true meaning of the holidays.

At my in laws, that's another story.

 

[artemis908]

My inlaws enjoy getting me gifts to make fun of my weight. When we were newly married and I was just overweight...they would buy me nightgowns that you could put a whole circus troupe in at the same time. I seriously hated getting clothes meant for the person too fat to leave the house. Over the years, I have gotten a little heavier. So now, they will get me a size 12 dress and say...I hope its not too big. I mean who couldn't wear something so enormous!

In what world is size 12 fat? I WISH I could fit into a size 12!

 

[QVCshopper]

Two thoughts:

1) To everyone who has husband's who don't listen: tell them what you want. Don't hint around at body wash. Tell them. Better yet, buy it yourself, wrap it up, stick it under the tree, and call it a day. My DH and I do this and it's great; but we really don't buy ourselves much throughout the year. I also suggest presents (for my kids) for grandparents to buy, and the said they loved seeing how happy the kids were getting things they really wanted instead of them guessing.

2) The iPad could be a very wise purchase. I have made over $600 from Viggle and $350 from Wikets, two apps that pay you in gift cards. Plus, online coupons that I can redeem in stores, mobile coupons, etc. are quite ample. The iPad has at least given me double its purchase price; but I had won it in the first place.

 

[DVC Daisy]

In what world is size 12 fat? I WISH I could fit into a size 12!

Ah - someone else who read that the way I did. I figured I must have read it wrong. Size 12 is not, "so enormous".

 

[roobug]

I didn't, but I was mad on behalf of my four year old DS. He got from IL's $50 and a walmart GC from his aunt, my SIL - absolutely no thought or care went into the gift. just shows once again another example how little they know him. Of course I didn't show him I was mad but he immediately forgot the gifts two minutes later. Dh was really unhappy about it too.

That's funny my four year olds favorite gift besides the Santa gift was the gift cards they received. They could not wait to get to the store to pick out new toys that they wanted that they didn't get on Christmas. They were so proud to hand over the gift card to pay for the toy they picked out themselves. Even told the check out person that grandpa gave them the gift card to pick out their own toy.

 

[NYCDiane]

but this isn't about stuff you don't want. This is about getting some thing that you simply think was too expensive. two totally different things.

No, this thread is about a gift that got you a "TEENSY BIT MAD" not about who spent too much money --- and my husband being a thoughtless lazyass makes me mad, especially when I put a lot of thought into gifts.

 

[cornflake]

In what world is size 12 fat? I WISH I could fit into a size 12!

That's the point of the "gift" to insult the poster. They buy something that's too small for the poster (but presumably bigger than they think she "should" be wearing) then go on about how they hope she can wear it, it's oh so big and huge, knowing it's too small.

Like if someone gave Melissa McCarthy an outfit J.Lo wore and said gee, they hoped she could fit into that because everyone knows J.Lo has the biggest butt in show biz (I'm just being facetious, not calling J.Lo or anyone else fat). It'd be a way to insult McCarthy.

Originally Posted by RadioFanatic
I didn't, but I was mad on behalf of my four year old DS. He got from IL's $50 and a walmart GC from his aunt, my SIL - absolutely no thought or care went into the gift. just shows once again another example how little they know him. Of course I didn't show him I was mad but he immediately forgot the gifts two minutes later. Dh was really unhappy about it too

Yeah how dare they not know exactly what toys or whatever junk your four-year-old has exactly, what he wants this week, what you'd want him to have, etc., and want him to get what he'd enjoy by giving him a gift card. They sound like terrible, uncaring people.

 

[RadioFanatic]

They don't know bc they cut us off in April and decided their grandson wasn't worth keeping in their lives-so yes, if they bothered to spend anytime with him, they would know what his likes and dislikes were.

 

[foreUT]

Yes, I too have gotten a teensy bit mad about a gift I've received. Every year my in-laws decide to draw names and without fail every year no matter who draws my name I get re-gifted. It's always obvious. For example last year the person who drew my name had teenage daughters so I got what was obviously a sweater one of them got and didn't want. It was a junior size and so obviously would not fit a grown woman. I smiled said thank you, I love it, yada, yada, went straight to Goodwill bag when we got home. We didn't have one of those stores in our area so I couldn't even return it. This year I got costume jewelry that was obviously meant for someone who was a lot more mature in years than me. I don't even wear jewelry. I did the usual thank you. This time the person actually admitted to me that they got it as a gift themselves. Very tacky. The thing that bothers me the most is I go to the trouble of spending the set amount on whoever I draw and then I'm left with nothing. I really wish they would stop and lets just buy gifts for the little kids.
I don't blame you for being upset about the chocolate. It's very frustrating when someone gets you something and you know they need that money and could really use it towards their own expenses. Makes you feel guilty in a way.

How awful for you! I have never understood "re-gifting", although I would probably be mean enough to hold onto those gifts, hoping I could re-cycle them next Christmas. Maybe you should re-cycle them as birthday gifts, although if someone is so cluelessly audacious as to announce that they are re-gifting, they are incapable of shame.

 

[foreUT]

They don't know bc they cut us off in April and decided their grandson wasn't worth keeping in their lives-so yes, if they bothered to spend anytime with him, they would know what his likes and dislikes were.

Why don't people understand that they are only punishing themselves by pushing loved ones out of their lives? That being said: unless they have a dozen grandkids, I see no reason a loving grandparent would not be able to purchase an appropriate gift. I understand why you would be hurt.

 

[ZoeBell]

They don't know bc they cut us off in April and decided their grandson wasn't worth keeping in their lives-so yes, if they bothered to spend anytime with him, they would know what his likes and dislikes were.

I love my kids to pieces but I've giving up shopping for them at Xmas time. Well my 2 older ones at least. This year they both got gift cards and money. They're happy. I'm happy. Life is good.

 

[auralia]

How about this. My inlaws did nothing and got nothing for my and dhs 2 children. They are currently visiting their other son in Hawaii. They sent dh a broken Hawaii ornament made in china. They got the two grand kids in Hawaii presents and their son and dil their as well. I don't care about presents. Send my kids a letter for their memory box with a picture of what their grandparents are doing perhaps or an email I can print out to keep for them. They didn't even care to talk to their grandchildren on Christmas. Dh told them to call when they had time.... Nothing. Dh called them at 10 at night they were oblivious. The in laws talked about what they got the family in Hawaii. They came out to visit us this summer. We paid for part of the plane tickets and we spent about 1000$ wine-ing and dining them and I waited on them hand and foot while sleeping on the couch while they slept in my bed. They ignored my kids, didn't spend much time with dh... They headed to bed right when the kids did, and generally didn't speak to me for the most part unless it was to ask if we were paying the bill or where they could find something. To those that feel their inlaws suck at gifts at least you don't have to explain to your kids why other grandma and grandpa didn't even talk to them let alone send a note or gift. We made a donation in their name to a charity after some advice from some people here on what to do about people who act like this and don't appreciate anything you do for them.

 

[foreUT]

How about this. My inlaws did nothing and got nothing for my and dhs 2 children. They are currently visiting their other son in Hawaii. They sent dh a broken Hawaii ornament made in china. They got the two grand kids in Hawaii presents and their son and dil their as well. I don't care about presents. Send my kids a letter for their memory box with a picture of what their grandparents are doing perhaps or an email I can print out to keep for them. They didn't even care to talk to their grandchildren on Christmas. Dh told them to call when they had time.... Nothing. Dh called them at 10 at night they were oblivious. The in laws talked about what they got the family in Hawaii. They came out to visit us this summer. We paid for part of the plane tickets and we spent about 1000$ wine-ing and dining them and I waited on them hand and foot while sleeping on the couch while they slept in my bed. They ignored my kids, didn't spend much time with dh... They headed to bed right when the kids did, and generally didn't speak to me for the most part unless it was to ask if we were paying the bill or where they could find something. To those that feel their inlaws suck at gifts at least you don't have to explain to your kids why other grandma and grandpa didn't even talk to them let alone send a note or gift. We made a donation in their name to a charity after some advice from some people here on what to do about people who act like this and don't appreciate anything you do for them.

Hugs to you and your children! So sorry for your husband to have parents that care so little for his children. Bad gifts certainly pale in comparison (although I still feel good grandparents know what small [pre-school] grandchildren would want, if they invested the effort to do so.)

 

[auralia]

Hugs to you and your children! So sorry for your husband to have parents that care so little for his children. Bad gifts certainly pale in comparison (although I still feel good grandparents know what small [pre-school] grandchildren would want, if they invested the effort to do so.)

I appreciate it. My parents more than make up for one set of bad grandparents and I also still have one grandparent (so dd and ds great grandpa) who is also great with my children (he plays the accordion and they
kids dance and sing songs it is so precious). We live far away but once or twice a year they get to see my parents and get spoiled rotten. (Other grandparents live 10 minutes from my parents but 9 times out of 10 can't be bothered with seeing us after we travel 2000 miles.

 

[foreUT]

I appreciate it. My parents more than make up for one set of bad grandparents and I also still have one grandparent (so dd and ds great grandpa) who is also great with my children (he plays the accordion and they
kids dance and sing songs it is so precious). We live far away but once or twice a year they get to see my parents and get spoiled rotten. (Other grandparents live 10 minutes from my parents but 9 times out of 10 can't be bothered with seeing us after we travel 2000 miles.

Wonderful that your ds and dd have grandparents that know how special they are!

 

[MAJPLO]

That's the point of the "gift" to insult the poster. They buy something that's too small for the poster (but presumably bigger than they think she "should" be wearing) then go on about how they hope she can wear it, it's oh so big and huge, knowing it's too small.

Like if someone gave Melissa McCarthy an outfit J.Lo wore and said gee, they hoped she could fit into that because everyone knows J.Lo has the biggest butt in show biz (I'm just being facetious, not calling J.Lo or anyone else fat). It'd be a way to insult McCarthy.

Yeah how dare they not know exactly what toys or whatever junk your four-year-old has exactly, what he wants this week, what you'd want him to have, etc., and want him to get what he'd enjoy by giving him a gift card. They sound like terrible, uncaring people.

Uh, it's the child's AUNT and GRANDPARENTS. They could've thought a little or asked.

 

[Fyrefly]

Adding in because I feel more articulate now:

I feel like it's a bit of a perfect storm sometimes with some gifts regarding money and/or thoughtfulness and I do truly wish there was a way to explain to some people (husbands apparently being the exception! ) how you feel without sounding ungrateful or greedy.

I always make a point to find something nice to say about gifts and smile all around even if inwardly I'm going "What?" Absolutely it's the gift-giver's money you do what they want but yes it hurts my feelings a little that they don't know by now that I would never use XYZ thing.

But if I know money is tight it just makes me feel worse because now I'm sad for the gift-giver who has no idea they're spending money on stuff that isn't useful to me or makes me happy. I guess I'm just practical but for example the candles I got from a neighbor. She's sweet and I love her to death but her son is sick and her husband is going into surgery this week. She got my whole family a candle as well, a throw rug, and a very nice box of liquor filled chocolates. I didn't need a gift of my own - write my name on the card and call it a day - and while it's sweet she thought of it all I can see is $20 or $30 she might need for something right now and it makes me feel bad. The same with my cousin, I got a bag of bath stuff from her and I know her husband just lost her job, I don't need random stuff for the sake of getting stuff and it makes it even harder to swallow knowing they could have done something better with that money.

I worry too much.

 

[angelbear425]

So you and your dh both work 2 jobs so you guys can pay your dd's way through college? Maybe your dh felt that it was time to be a little selfish with his salary and spend it on you for Christmas because he thought you needed a new MacBook with the way you complained about the other. Now I could see if you couldn't pay your mortgage for the month, but if its because anything extra you make goes into your dd's college fund and this MacBook took money from that, I'd cut him some slack. (Not telling you what to do, just saying what I would do in your situation).

I totally agree with this. Maybe the dd should help to pay for college as well like many other ppl out there.