etiquette question re bridal shower

[pigletto]

These kinds of etiquette questions are so hard. I just got married 2 weeks ago.
In my family we have always just had showers with close friends and relatives. In my husbands family I was told you invite everyone invited to the wedding.
No one was right or wrong... just a different way of doing things I guess.
However in my case 400 people were invited. Many of whom were people I have never laid eyes on but were important to our parents.
That would have made for one ridicuolus shower
So we invited close friends and family from our side.... and all the female guests from Dh's side.
It was a compromise.
Of all that attended about half or 60% that didn't come sent a gift. I didn't expect that though. And TRULY would not have noticed or have been offended if they hadn't. So just do what is comfortable for you.
I wasn't really aware of the proper way to do things.. I have only been to a few weddings in my life and they were all radically different from one another.
Just go with your gut instinct

 

[ILoveDisney&Cruising]

If I can't attend then I don't send!

I agree

 

[midwestdee]

You are not at all obligated to send a gift if you cannot attend a shower (baby or wedding) - really, just RSVP your regrets and don't worry - that is correct ettiquette.

 

[Mau Loa Disney]

Agree with PP, RSVP is the most important.
I grew up in a small town & When we have a bridal shower , if you bring a gift to the shower then you dont take a gift to the wedding & if you miss the shower then you bring a gift to the wedding - I think everyone has their own rules, Most weddings around here have money trees, wishing wells, dollar dances so you still basically buy another gift, but no one feels obiligated.

So my opinion is just RSVP that you cant make it & send a gift to the wedding

 

[susieb16]

I agree, unless it's a very close friend or family, I would just decline and not send a gift.