Etiquette question: Hostess Gifts

[Cindyluwho]

We had a party last night at our home for the neighborhood association. About 50-60 people attended. About 1/2 dozen folks brought us bottles of wine in gift bags or wrapped w/ribbons. There were also about the same number of bottles brought for everyone to share plus we had punch, egg nog, non-alcohol drinks, etc. Anyway, about an hour or two into the party I notice that the wine gifts have been opened and the bottles are now empty! I have always thought that if you bring a bottle of wine as a gift, and it's wrapped, that it's for the hostess? Am I wayyyy off base? The other gift was a Christmas hand towel and someone had actually opened it and set it on the counter! What do you think? Was I crazy to be miffed?

 

[marybet]

I would think a wrapped gift is for the hostess. I can't imagine opening someone elses gift. Did you pay for the party or was it just at your house? Even if it was just at your house I still don't think that your gifts should have been opened, but it may be why your guest thought they were community property.

 

[dg39]

Usually at a house party, the host/hostess would open the gifts and serve them that night. Either wine/liquor, cookies/cake and such. House gifts like hand towels and such are opened and put aside. BUT, the host/hostess is the one to open them, not the guests themselves.

If you had a private party, it was you who should have decided what to do.

 

[Tigger_Magic]

We always bring a wrapped gift for the host/hostess and don't expect them (or anyone else) to use it at the party. If the host/hostess chooses to share/use our gift, that's OK. But for someone else to take a wrapped gift and open/use it, that's just tacky and rude.

 

[antmaril]

We always bring a wrapped gift for the host/hostess and don't expect them (or anyone else) to use it at the party. If the host/hostess chooses to share/use our gift, that's OK. But for someone else to take a wrapped gift and open/use it, that's just tacky and rude.

I totally agree. I would NEVER open a wrapped gift meant for the host/hostess. Just plain tacky.

 

[Crankyshank]

We usually bring 2 bottles of wine- one for the hostess and one for the party.

 

[WDWAurora]

Ugh, I need to find a hostess gift for DH's Christmas party before Friday. Since we don't drink and I would have NO idea what to buy alcohol-wise, I was thinking about doing flowers. Ugh I definitely do NOT have time to deal with this during my last week of classes. Thanks for the reminder.

 

[Keli]

I didn't realize that when you brought something to the party to share you shouldn't wrap it. I never wrap anything I bring though (never have it together enough to have time to wrap!) so it hasn't ever been an issue, just something I didn't realize. If I am bringing something for the hostess alone then I just tell her "Hey, here's a little something I thought you'd enjoy after we've all went home" or if it's for everyone I say "I brought this along, thought everyone might enjoy after dinner".

But common sense tells me that you would never open a gift brought to the party, only the hostess should do that. It really was obnoxious of someone to do that at your party. I'd be miffed too.

 

[crs7568]

I think it is very rude for someone to open a wrapped gift that is for the hostess. Yikes!

 

[vivilasvegas]

I would never open a bottle of wine that was someone's gift! Even if the hostess meant for everyone to drink it, it's her business when she wants to open it.

 

[MrsPete]

Where did you put the wine bottles? Since you had 50-60 people in the house, is it possible that they thought these were available for drinking at the party?

If it'd been me, I would've purposefully put them out to drink. Why? I dislike wine, and I'd have wanted to see it used up. (Though that wouldn't excuse the rude guest behavior you're describing.)

 

[sleepyone]

Wow, that was rude. You should have gone through their purses for gum and mints...LOL.

 

[Cindyluwho]

Wow, that was rude. You should have gone through their purses for gum and mints...LOL.

OH! Now that is a seriously good idea!