Engagement Ring

[Laura]

Someone has already made a comment about what my "future" engagement ring - probably why I am concerned/sensitive about wedding related topics. I don't want to even get into it, but basically in my area, if you don't have a 2 carat ring and a 40 k wedding, you'd better have thick skin, because you will be made fun of. It's a real shame. I could have all that if I went into business, but I'm a teacher because I want to do something good with my life.

Thanks sajetto and lovemygoofy for your opinions/observations. Unfortunately, you're right in that I am concerned what others will think. I want to get engaged right now, it's been 5 years, but my boyfriend wants to wait until he can get me a bigger/better ring since he knows how badly my friends and family ridicule rings, and just gifts in general. He doesn't want me to have any experiences like the one I've already had. You're right in that it doesn't matter what they think, but it does matter how they treat me. I did this thread as a poll, so I don't want to hijack, but this is probably for a different place/time.

Get a big honkin' moissanite. They'll never know.

 

[CapeCodTenor]

I bought a small ring, just under half a carat. Even if I bought her a huge ring she wouldn't have worn it...so the small one was just the right size.

 

[Blue Skies]

I never had an engagement ring - we were young and poor. I don't mind though - I'm not a big jewelry person anyway.

I have thought about buying myself a CZ or Diamonique ring, just because I think it would be pretty. I just can't justify the cost to myself now of buying a diamond ring when we have been married for so long now. The ring would not have the sentimental attachment a "real" engagement ring would have.

 

[frndshpcptn]

i totally understand the pressure for a big ring. I live in NYC (not far from the famed diamond district) and let me say that i don't know ANYONE who has a ring under 1 ct. In fact, most people's are much closer to two or two and a half.

People here - at least in my circle and line of work - really do "judge" based on the ring. They will either do it behind your back or in front of your face, but it will happen.

we are lucky that we live close to the diamond district and can go there to shop for deals. Plus, most of our parents have "friends" in the industry - which are really just jewelers they have spent alot of money with and who will give you a "good" price on the center stone.

I found my ideal ring on vacation and took a lot of photos of it so it can be re-created by a jeweler here in New York when its time to get the ring. I'd never buy from a chain store, though. That's also "not done' around here.

I know it sounds snobby. But honestly, I don't buy a lot of clothes, we don't go on very many vacations (one or two a year tops) and are all way past our early 20's. Most couples I know already own property and so why not spend a bit more on the ring?

 

[KirstenB]

Mine was an oval ruby surrounded by small diamonds. I really like colored stones, so this was perfect for me. We've been married almost 18 years, and I still enjoy this ring, and have gotten lots of compliments on it. Around here, people don't really get that into the huge engagement ring thing. Or maybe I travel in the wrong circles...I'm guessing it's more of a northern/big city thing.

 

[Disney-Kim]

I have a .75 center pear and 1.0 carat surrounding princess cuts, so 1.75 total.
My ring was pricey for our price range at the time and I can not imagine spending the money for the sizes that I really liked...1.5-2.0 center stones.

gee...DVC or a big rock. DVC won that decision.

I have seen pics on the wedding boards of HUGE rocks...how are such young couples affording 15k rings????

 

[helenabear]

I read through most of this thread and it is sad that there is pressure.

My original engagement ring was my birthstone (amethyst) set in platinum. I accidentally voted wrong and said it was a diamond less that .75. I did that because I didn't read diamond and my stone is .70 carats It since has gotten scratched (the stone) and per the recommendation of the jeweler that unless I want to replace the stone I shouldn't wear it so much. I currently have about a half carat sapphire (much stronger stone and it is my DH's birthstone) set in white gold with channel set diamonds. I have a matching anniversary band my husband got me.

When I travel, I feel "unsafe" wearing my sapphire set. I'm just too emotionally attached, so for $80 on sale I went to QVC and got a diamonique (sp?) set. It's a huge stone, but I liked the look of it online at least. It's set in real gold too so it will hold up decently. I'm just afraid of losing something or damaging something while away from home. So I wear this.

So if you want big, get the fake stuff... trust me when I wear this set NO ONE knows and they always say how beautiful it is. I think the center stone is about 1.5 carats or so and OMG, you'd laugh if you saw how much people just fawned over it.

 

[Missy Mouse]

DGF will be getting (at WDW) a .65ct moissanite. I don't believe in buying diamonds - so this was a nice compromise.

What does DGF stand for?

 

[jaimee1024]

I never thought of my 1/2 carat diamond marquis engagement ring as "small"...to me it was huge! I still love it because it represents the beginning of everything that matters to me in life.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

My original engagement ring was a 1/2 carat round diamond.

Last December after almost 20 years since DH proposed, he bought me a 1 1/2 carat marquis reset in my original engagement ring. I love it!

 

[Growin'upDisney]

My engagment ring is .80 round, D in color and VVS1. We went for quality over size.

My "Thanks for Having My Baby" diamond on the other hand (literally and figureatively) is 2.25 carats in a Tacori setting (my dream setting!!)

 

[pettyone]

By the way, I used to work with a girl who sported a ring that looked to be about 3 carats. I thought it was fake the minute I saw it, but she was always bragging about it. Turns out she had to take it in for a repair and they told her it was fake. Her husband actually bought a fake diamond and told her it was real. I would have been SO angry. I have no problem with fake stones, but to LIE about it!!! And if you’re going to try to represent it as real, at least make the size realistic!!!

I have a coworker that this happened to also...it would be one thing if he said "I couldn't afford to get you what you deserve to/would like to have..." but my coworker's now-DH flat out lied...if that had happened to me, I would have made sure that my future DH walked funny for awhile!!

 

[Becky2005]

I guess it depends on the situation. I actually bought my own engagement/wedding ring set. It was at Montgomery Ward so not a jewelry store but I worked in the jewelry department. The ring was on sale, I got my employee discount on top of that and then on top of THAT, they were having a special discount coupon sale for people with MW credit cards, so that coupon was allowed also.

They don't let you combine offers like that anymore but we got it for a *very* cheap price that way! I'm not even sure what the carat size is anymore (it was marquee -- OK looked it up says .45 so yeah, not a big one but it's the one I wanted.) but I'm really glad I picked out my own ring or DH would have just bought me a plain round solitaire and I really don't like those at all.

We got some really good deals there with working there and knowing all the allowable things like trading you up to a better model at the sale price (got a great deal on a fridge that way!)

 

[becka]

I have a round diamond on a 14k gold band. I think the total weight is just under 1/4 carat. I have a 14k gold wedding band with a little diamond "chip" in it. It is not big at all but it was "us" at the time. We were still in college and just starting our lives together. I know DH said he wanted to get me something bigger and that in a few years he would take it it and get it "sized up" for me with a bigger diamond. I told him that there was no way I was going to let him ruin my ring by giving me a bigger diamond. I like that it is small and that it reminds me of our beginnings. These are my engagement and wedding rings and if I changed them they would no longer feel the same to me.

 

[mking624]

My diamond is a little less than 1/4 carat, pear shape. Man, pears are expensive!!! I have very thin fingers...truly, anything bigger would have looked very odd on my hand. I've seen people with thin fingers like mine wearing these huge diamonds and it looks really funny on them.

By the way, I used to work with a girl who sported a ring that looked to be about 3 carats. I thought it was fake the minute I saw it, but she was always bragging about it. Turns out she had to take it in for a repair and they told her it was fake. Her husband actually bought a fake diamond and told her it was real. I would have been SO angry. I have no problem with fake stones, but to LIE about it!!! And if you’re going to try to represent it as real, at least make the size realistic!!!

I do not advocate lying about a diamond because the truth WILL come out, however if she was flaunting around her diamond by bragging about it so much, something tells me that it was she who expected big and wouldn't settle for anything less. Now I may be wrong about that, but someone truly humble isn't going to go around bragging about the rock on their finger.

 

[mking624]

I have a round diamond on a 14k gold band. I think the total weight is just under 1/4 carat. I have a 14k gold wedding band with a little diamond "chip" in it. It is not big at all but it was "us" at the time. We were still in college and just starting our lives together. I know DH said he wanted to get me something bigger and that in a few years he would take it it and get it "sized up" for me with a bigger diamond. I told him that there was no way I was going to let him ruin my ring by giving me a bigger diamond. I like that it is small and that it reminds me of our beginnings. These are my engagement and wedding rings and if I changed them they would no longer feel the same to me.

My DH says the same thing from time to time...that he'll get me something bigger when he has the money, etc etc. I absolutely refuse. My ring is absolutely precious to me...how on earth could I take a new one and switch it out? That would practically be me saying that my actual engagement ring wasn't good enough...so I need a bigger and "better" ring. No way!!!

I remember when I went to a salon shorrtly before my wedding and the stylist looked at my ring and said in this snobby way "That diamond is tiny, he couldn't do any better than that?!" I was so disgusted, I immediately got up, demanded to see a manager...meanwhile she started trying to kick me out and started yelling at me about how I wasn't letting her do her job (other problems took place such as her trying to convince me to bleach my hair because she thought my natural red color was "too ugly" to be in the wedding photos). I wouldn't leave, and this other girl called the manager who came over and quite literally fired the girl on the spot and allowed me to stay and watch her collect all her belongings and leave. They gave me incredibly special treatment for free as a result. But anyway, my belief is that if people are so snobby as to judge me and my huusband based on the size of my diamond, they must be very insecure with themselves where only material things validate them for all of a few moments...and they aren't worth having in my life.

 

[LoraJ]

.91 princess cut.

Small compared to all of the other girls where I work. No one there has less than 1k.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I just wanted to add on this post. I have a pretty big ring. BUT- I told my dh that it wasn't necessary for him to even buy me an engagement ring. I would have married him with a bakery string. He insisted and I can't lie- I LOVE MY RING!!! He picked it out himself and it means alot to me. I never cared what anyone had to say though. I just wanted to marry him.

 

[crz4mm2]

Mine is 1/3 and round. I wanted bigger too, but he wanted smaller! LOL. He was engaged before and 'traded in' the other ring. It was 1/4 a carat!! LOL. so this one was HUGE compared to that one.

I had it reset in a multi setting with my mom's small diamonds around it so it actually LOOKS a lot bigger. I wish it was still in the plain setting now....

I only wear the past, present, future, square cut, ring he bought me for our 25th anniversary now. It is 1 carat total weight 1/2 center and 1/4 each side stone. I LOVE it.

 

[mking624]

It was 1/4 a carat!! LOL..

Not to try and start an argument here...but why is that size funny to you? Unless I'm missing the "joke" in here.