Emotional Vampires

[Mermaid02]

On the Talk they are talking about "friends" who are emotional vampires- those folks who just drain you. They gave examples, people who make you feel bad about yourself etc. It made me think of a former friend (who actually stalked me on The Dis for a while- so she may be reading) Anyway, this "friend" constantly made fun of me- always "joking"- if there is a man (any man) around she has to be "The Belle of the Ball" and have all the attention, even if the man is someone's dh.... really ESPECIALLY if it's someone's dh- she delights in this actually. I am no longer her "friend" but my dh is still friends with her and her family- I am friendly, but am very much on the outside.

Have you had someone in your life you would consider an "emotional vampire"? Were you able to get rid of them?

 

[LuvOrlando]

I used to have a friend in High School I called a living Quaalude and I call my DH's aunt a Dementor so I guess I know the type.

The only thing you can do with them is watch the show, eventually they will irritate others too. If they come at you just have some 'in the can' responses with no easy come-backs. I'm a fan of "Whatever" there really is no come back for a well timed "Whatever" or a well placed giggle at their expense or being super icky phony sweet in person, people just don't have a way around it.... especially in the company of men who tend to not see phony.

 

[JLTraveling]

Oh yeah, they're drawn to me for some reason...maybe my psych background? I've gotten a lot better in recent years at recognizing them early on and keeping them at arms length, but when I was in my late teens/early 20s I was the classic "rescuer." I was always bringing home strays, both animal and human varieties. I've had a few people contact me recently and tell me I really helped them turn their lives around, but the majority just drained me until I had nothing left to give, then moved on to someone else.

 

[FireDancer]

I have had friends like that but have learned that if you don't engage them they quickly learn you don't want to hear about all the drama. I'm also no too shy to tell them that I don't want to hear about it which helps.

 

[Pakey]

I cut one loose last night. She is a lot younger than I am (the same age as my adult children) and I just can't deal with it anymore. I have been sucked into 2 years of listening to her drama and offering advice, only to have her do nothing to help herself get out of bad situation after bad situation. I'm tired of feeling like I'm part of some Jerry Springer saga. There was no give and take in this friendship. I feel sad and a bit guilty but if I want that much drama I could always ask my own children for some of theirs.

 

[Mermaid02]

I used to have a friend in High School I called a living Quaalude and I call my DH's aunt a Dementor so I guess I know the type.

The only thing you can do with them is watch the show, eventually they will irritate others too. If they come at you just have some 'in the can' responses with no easy come-backs. I'm a fan of "Whatever" there really is no come back for a well timed "Whatever" or a well placed giggle at their expense or being super icky phony sweet in person, people just don't have a way around it.... especially in the company of men who tend to not see phony.

That's certainly the way it is around here.... I just shake my head. Eventually he'll catch on.

 

[LuvOrlando]

That's certainly the way it is around here.... I just shake my head. Eventually he'll catch on.

The nicer you are the deeper she'll go to draw blood, eventually he'll notice.

I despise women like that, the sorts who think they gain worth by taking away from other women... traitors who plainly don't know girl code

 

[gingajane]

They seem to be drawn to me as well. I did learn in my late 20's that I had to distance myself from them. I actually changed to a different lounge to eat lunch because of a darling man (I mean what a nice guy), that complained about his divorce and children and his job, etc...by the end of lunch I wanted to slit my wrists...I had to make a move for my own mental health. If people make me feel down in the dumps when they are around, I tend to avoid...

 

[themilesfamily]

I've had three friends like this:

1) One who talked on and on about people who I'd never met and their myriad of problems. She would literally go on for hours if you let her.

2) One who had to be the center of male attention wherever we went. If a man acted interested in me, in any way, she'd make fun of me or make fun of the guy.

3) One who would set up get-togethers -- movies, coffee dates, whatever -- and would routinely call about 2 hours before the get together and cancel.

I never really understood the motivation behind any of these three individuals.

 

[paintnolish]

Darn it. I thought this was going to be about Edward Cullen.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

i have someone at work like that. she's always got some snide remark, and always puts me down. she's also on facebook and she makes rude comments on there, too. she's really good at manipulating people to think what she wants, too. she goes around and tells the boss that i complain too much or something along those lines(when i honestly barely even speak at work at this point because of her so idk where she comes up with this stuff lol)

i just try my best to ignore her when i can, and i've actually started looking for another job lol

 

[hereyago]

I used to have a friend in High School I called a living Quaalude and I call my DH's aunt a Dementor so I guess I know the type.

.

HA HA. I often wonder when the Harry Potter author is going to send my DM royalty checks as I beleive she is the reason the author thought of the Demetor creatures. lol suck the life right out if you let her