Embarrassing comment!!

[BellyBaby]

Ok, have to get this off my chest...funny/horrifying/embarrassing plane incident...

Me and my sister flying back from Orlando....dead tired. Child crying....still crying....crying. My eyes are closed, and I groaned to my sister, "Ahhhh, why can't parents keep their kids quiet?"

BEFORE I get flamed...I was really, really tired and grumpy. And I KNOW it's hard, but I was just too tired to be understanding that morning!

My sister goes, "Well, not everyone has an arsenal or Cheerios and books all the time like you do".

That shocked me awake, "" (my sister is childless, and is FAR less sympathetic to a parent's plight than I am, I thot for sure she'd be on my side this time, since it's usually me explaining to HER about the trials of parenthood, but again, this time I was grumpy.

The guy next to her goes, "Sometimes it's not always that easy". It was HIS kid across the aisle, who was sitting with an older child and his wife!

I wanted to die. I mean, honestly, normally I am NOT that grumpy person. I said I was sorry, I didn't realize the child was so young, and left it at that.

However, my sister and I noticed that the child was in his car seat, left to basically entertain himself. The mom had headphones on, listening to her MP3 player, and the Dad (who was sitting with us) was on his laptop playing games....and the child is screaming as soon as we buckled in and being ignored....Um, is it weird to wonder why no one had the little baggie of Cherrios, some little books, few new dollar-store toys for the 4 hour flight?

Lord, I remember feeling embarrassed when I was trying to sing (in a low voice) to my toddler to keep her entertained for our last trip. (I hate singing in front of people, it's just not good). And yes, I DID have the baggie of snacks, books, etc. But just wondering if it's so bad to not wonder why they didn't even TRY to make the child less miserable? If he's being ignored by both parents, of course he's going to be upset....should we all have to pay the price for the crying when they don't even make a half-a$$ effort?

I left feeling bad for my comment, then not so much after I saw they were doing nothing, then felt bad for not feeling bad...then not bad...

Has anyone else experienced less-than-clued-in parents who get mad at you for wondering why we get annoyed at them?

I mean, I'm not saying I'm Mom-of-The-Year, but where's the common sense?
Toddler + 4 hours on plane = contingency plans!

 

[cm8]

that was too funny!!!!! I agree with you...........

 

[fireman17]

We took our 17 month old on his first WDW this past October and did not use a car seat and so he was a lap baby. We prepared for everything with him and had it ready from books to juice boxes down to a Mister Potatohead to keep him occupied.
We sat in the rear of the plane down and back on the trip down my wife had him in the back and had no one beside her and he even napped on the trip on the way back I had him with both my other sons while my wife had our daughter with her in front and on both flights we would pass him back and forth to keep him busy.
Well, on the trip back an older gentleman sits next to my wife and daughter and on takeoff the baby falls off to sleep and sleeps almost through the entire flight.
When he wakes up he's fidgity but not cranky and wants mommy so I had him off to her and with that the gentleman says to my wife, I didn't realize you had a baby with you and do you know this gentleman play with my son for the rest of the trip.
When he got off he turned to us and said you both should be very proud of your children I have nevr seen such well behaved kids on a plane and I have taken many flights.
I look at my wife and she had tears in her eyes and after we left the airport we took our kids right to a resturant and had the best lunch every.
He rreally made our day.

 

[Mathfailure]

As we have all said at one time or another, common sense is not that common.


I also would have about died when I realized it was his son, but for ignoring the poor little one

 

[DisDreaminMom]

I wouldn't feel bad about saying that. When my kids have been upset on a flight, I've been the one frantically apologizing to everyone around me and trying my best to soothe the child. I'm sure you wouldn't have even thought that comment if someone was audibly or visibly trying to calm the child. Most likely, you would have felt compassion for that parent. On an international flight, I even had a flight attendant take my daughter to play in the back of the plane looking at the galley to calm her down and then rocked her to sleep. I think she held the baby for over an hour, walking up and down the aisle. I know it was the only rest I got on a 9 hour trip!

A plane isn't the right place to let a kid "cry it out". In case they don't follow the news, the airlines are getting more aggressive about what they consider a problem on a plane. I've noticed a few parents have been kicked off or had flights grounded over kids' behavior.

And if you had said something like that in earshot of me, and I were the parent, I would have apologized first, then offered my explanation. Who knows, the kid might have had some kind of sinus infection or was sleep deprived, etc. Doesn't right a wrong to ignore it or be defensive, though.

 

[dfchelbay]

I too, can't stand screaming, unattended children, and perhaps at times, moronic parents, but I can't help but think this baby was probably in pain and scared. We know how to pop our ears on a plane, but babies don't. We know how to be able to hear properly again after popping our ears. This baby was probably pretty freaked out because hearing as he's always know it was completely different and totally inside his head on the plane. The worst of all is that all this was happening to this baby, scaring him and causing him pain and he had no one parent-wise to sooth his fear and discomfort.

 

[sk!mom]

If they were ignoring their child, then your comment wasn't out of line. I would have complained to the Flight Attendant.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I have all the sympathy in the world for parents who are TRYING to calm a crying child on a plane. Parents who ignore the child like that as the while plane (and of course the child) suffer deserve to hear a lot more comments like yours.

 

[crisi]

I have all the sympathy in the world for parents who are TRYING to calm a crying child on a plane. Parents who ignore the child like that as the while plane (and of course the child) suffer deserve to hear a lot more comments like yours.

They live with the kid - they may know that trying to interfere in a tantrum makes it worse. Or encourages escalation.

Of course, they could also be choosing to ignore the kid because its easier and their headphones are better than the ones you brought, but life is so much more pleasant when we give people the benefit of the doubt. Particularly when Dad indicated that "sometimes, it isn't so easy."

We've had people post here with stories of kids with sensory disorders, or personality disorders or autism who scream for hours no matter what parents do. And while, in my cranky tired moods, I curse having to be burdened with their kids on a plane for four hours, in my rational moments I thank God my kids - while far from perfect - are relatively easy to manage and for me, this is four hours of inconvenience.

 

[brergnat]

They live with the kid - they may know that trying to interfere in a tantrum makes it worse. Or encourages escalation.

Of course, they could also be choosing to ignore the kid because its easier and their headphones are better than the ones you brought, but life is so much more pleasant when we give people the benefit of the doubt. Particularly when Dad indicated that "sometimes, it isn't so easy."

We've had people post here with stories of kids with sensory disorders, or personality disorders or autism who scream for hours no matter what parents do. And while, in my cranky tired moods, I curse having to be burdened with their kids on a plane for four hours, in my rational moments I thank God my kids - while far from perfect - are relatively easy to manage and for me, this is four hours of inconvenience.

Thank you for that post. I was about to say the same thing.

I DO have a son with Autism. When he was a "toddler" (around 2-3 years old), he would wake up in the middle of the night SCREAMING and crying, and this would carry on for HOURS at a time. There was NO consoling him. Nothing that would make it stop. We basically would wake up, check on him to be sure he was not hurt, and then go back to bed, but not before inserting ear plugs so we could sleep! Seriously. I bet "outsiders" would think we were horrible parents, for ignoring our child. The truth is, though, there was NOTHING we could do to stop it, and in fact, interfering made it WORSE, and it would last even longer if we tried to "help" him. For that reason, we put off traveling and staying in a hotel until he was over that "phase".

I am willing to bet that this child has some sort of special needs issue that the OP was not aware of. We avoided long travel on planes and staying in hotels altogether, but perhaps this family made a different choice.

You never know until you KNOW. It sucks for you having to listen to it for 4 hours. It probably sucks MORE for them, having to deal with it every day...

 

[barnaby1]

I wouldn't feel bad if I were you. I would have done the same - to be honest once I had seen her sitting there doing nothing I would probably have marched up to her and said something.

I am also a take everything to keep the child occupied and not disturb others type. It is the whole do nothing or very little approach to keeping children quiet which upsets me too. I

I travel very long haul flights 2 - 3 times a year with my dd (3.75) always in premium or first class and I have never let her disturb anyone (heck I even did a time out in the galley once!). The only downside is that I haven't seen a movie in 4 years on a plane but it was my choice to have children, not the people sitting around me.

 

[Hannathy]

I have all the sympathy in the world for parents who are TRYING to calm a crying child on a plane. Parents who ignore the child like that as the while plane (and of course the child) suffer deserve to hear a lot more comments like yours.

Agree and if the off handed comment hadn't worked I would have said something a lot more direct to the Father!!!

Don't feel bad OP the Father or the Mother is who should be apologizing.

 

[NHdisneylover]

They live with the kid - they may know that trying to interfere in a tantrum makes it worse. Or encourages escalation.

Of course, they could also be choosing to ignore the kid because its easier and their headphones are better than the ones you brought, but life is so much more pleasant when we give people the benefit of the doubt. Particularly when Dad indicated that "sometimes, it isn't so easy."

We've had people post here with stories of kids with sensory disorders, or personality disorders or autism who scream for hours no matter what parents do. And while, in my cranky tired moods, I curse having to be burdened with their kids on a plane for four hours, in my rational moments I thank God my kids - while far from perfect - are relatively easy to manage and for me, this is four hours of inconvenience.

I am not sure why you picked me specifically to quote as others said essentially the same thing, but hey I will take the bait. I truly believe that if a child truly has issues which will cause him to be so upsert for so long in flight that the parents need to arrange other means of travel. It is not fair to the child or the other passengers or crew to fly in that case. I applaud brergnat for making such a decision about her (his?) child and travelling.

 

[Juliet25]

Personally, when it's my kid screaming, I would **love** to keep them quiet. I have to agree with the father -- sometimes it's easier said than done.

I've BTDT with my kids screaming their heads off and I'm sure it looked like I was doing nothing to console them. I try to give other parents the benefit of the doubt in these situations. You know everyone's mad at you. It's stressful.

 

[MinnieVanMom]

I am not sure why you picked me specifically to quote as others said essentially the same thing, but hey I will take the bait. I truly believe that if a child truly has issues which will cause him to be so upsert for so long in flight that the parents need to arrange other means of travel. It is not fair to the child or the other passengers or crew to fly in that case. I applaud brergnat for making such a decision about her (his?) child and travelling.

Oh let me see if I am understanding you. Because parents have SN children they should not be allowed to fly because your flight may not be perfect with SN child on the plane? Please tell me I am wrong before I just go off.

When DS who has full autism was a baby our pedi told us to give him a little benadryl. He said it would be better for DS and his ear and general mood. He also added that it would not hurt DS in anyway. He suggested that other passengers might also appreciate it.

Now we don't use any aides other then the person who is his attending. He love his Ipod and watches movies. I pack food, toys and fun.

That all being said, my friend who has a SN DD flew and her daughter cried the entire time. She did everything. People around we not happy but my friend did all she could. She stood in back and by the time the flight landed she was in tears along with her child. I wish people would try a little compassion first. You don't know just by looking what is really going on.

Kuddos to the gentleman who entertained the child while in flight.

Now rant over.

 

[KingdomKeepersFinn]

I agree... Everytime I fly to or from Orlando there is always at least 1 kid screaming ALL way.. It was so much peacful when I went to Cali. Nobody was screaming and smooth flight all the way

 

[Scurvy]

OP, let me see if I understand this correctly. You were on a four hour flight. Sitting across the aisle from you was a child who started screaming as soon as it was buckled in. The parents ignored it and did nothing to try to stop the screaming. They didn't give the child a snack, or talk to it, or read to it, or give it toys, or do anything else to attempt to get the child to stop disturbing the other passengers. Instead they left it strapped into a car seat and listened to their music and played computer games. Is that the situation?

Because if so, you have no reason to be embarrassed. The parents certainly do, though! It was incredibly rude and inconsiderate of them to subject their fellow passengers to that sort of behavior without even attempting to control it. You did nothing wrong.

 

[crisi]

I am not sure why you picked me specifically to quote as others said essentially the same thing, but hey I will take the bait. I truly believe that if a child truly has issues which will cause him to be so upsert for so long in flight that the parents need to arrange other means of travel. It is not fair to the child or the other passengers or crew to fly in that case. I applaud brergnat for making such a decision about her (his?) child and travelling.

I suspect that if you were walking in those shoes, you might make other decisions. Its easy to say what you would do if......its much harder to live up to it when you have to. Since you, thank God, apparently don't have a child prone to screaming for four hours, I'd just be thankful you don't really need to make those choices. But hey, its easy to say what I would do if I were you. Since I'm not you, I don't have to make hard decisions like showing tolerance for other people's difficult realities.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Oh let me see if I am understanding you. Because parents have SN children they should not be allowed to fly because your flight may not be perfect with SN child on the plane? Please tell me I am wrong before I just go off.

When DS who has full autism was a baby our pedi told us to give him a little benadryl. He said it would be better for DS and his ear and general mood. He also added that it would not hurt DS in anyway. He suggested that other passengers might also appreciate it.

Now we don't use any aides other then the person who is his attending. He love his Ipod and watches movies. I pack food, toys and fun.

That all being said, my friend who has a SN DD flew and her daughter cried the entire time. She did everything. People around we not happy but my friend did all she could. She stood in back and by the time the flight landed she was in tears along with her child. I wish people would try a little compassion first. You don't know just by looking what is really going on.

Kuddos to the gentleman who entertained the child while in flight.

Now rant over.

Yes--if you know your childs' special need are such that she or he is likely to cry for four solid hours and you can do NOTHING to help and will be best just to completly ignore the child for four hours while he is upset and crying, and to have not even given the child a toy or entertainment before the crying started (unlike you personally who has someone there with the child and also his ipod, etc.), then yes I do feel you need to plan other modes of travel. It is unfair to the child as well as to everyone else. Your friend was trying to console her child--something which must work some of the time or else she would not have tried, right? I would be completely sympathetic to her and offering to help in any way I could.
Parents of children with special needs have to deal with a lot all the time. Many must live in a perpetual state of exhaustion. I feel for them; I really do. The friends I have had who have really high needs children put tons of effort into not putting their children into situation they cannot handle--or else "trying" situations and pushing the envelope as needed in places where there is an easy escape if it gets to be too much for the child. That seems like the responsible thing to do to me.
I am sure you will go after me with the calvary now. I am honestly more concerned for the child in these sorts of scenarios than anybody else, but I doubt many will see that. Have fun. It is well past my bedtime but I will check in to see how the conversation is going in the morning.

 

[kiddisney]

to op - i understand your frustration - and i'm glad that your sister appreciated all that you do -

to other posters - i know that you're going to get angry - but please remember that the op said that the parents ignored the child -

sometimes i feel so cramped because i brought toys - snacks - books - etc - but at least i did something -

i'm not ignoring special needs children - but the parents did not address the child - and this is what's sad - unless this was their very first flight ever with their child they should have had supplies - and unless the child was getting frustrated and not wanting the supplies then i can see that the parents tried - but why didn't the father switch seats with the mother and play a video game w/the child - even a six month old will watch a game thinking that they are playing -

so don't get mad at the op - she was just stating that it's frustrating being the one who has supplies for her own child and these parents did not seem to address their child