Eating out with family I really don't like

[Myothername]

By family, I mean my relatives. Here is the situation. My Uncle "Bob", my mother's brother and a really funny and nice man, is in town. Momma wants us to get together for supper tomorrow night at one of our favorite restaurants. Well, DH and DS have already bailed on me so I guess I have to go by myself. If it was just me, momma and Uncle Bob I would be really excited. But it is including my aunt, momma's sister, Aunt "Dee", and her son, "Walt", his wife, "Milly" and I guess their daughter, "Helen". Not sure how many of them will show up but if there is a free meal you know Walt will be there. He is the most irritating person in the whole world and I swear he was switched at birth. He is so unlike the rest of our family. I love everyone else in my family except him and I guess I love him cause I have to. He is the most self centered and unpleasant person you will ever meet. His poor mother is in a nursing home (Aunt Dee) and has no money but he will gladly let her pay for his and his wife's meal. Actually, my mother will probably end up paying for all of it cause she does not want to cause a fuss or make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Anyway, I feel obligated to go and short of catching a stomach bug I guess I am going.

Guess I just needed to vent. Anyone else been in this position before? How can I make the best of it short of getting falling down drunk?

 

[dnoyes]

By family, I mean my relatives. Here is the situation. My Uncle "Bob", my mother's brother and a really funny and nice man, is in town. Momma wants us to get together for supper tomorrow night at one of our favorite restaurants. Well, DH and DS have already bailed on me so I guess I have to go by myself. If it was just me, momma and Uncle Bob I would be really excited. But it is including my aunt, momma's sister, Aunt "Dee", and her son, "Walt", his wife, "Milly" and I guess their daughter, "Helen". Not sure how many of them will show up but if there is a free meal you know Walt will be there. He is the most irritating person in the whole world and I swear he was switched at birth. He is so unlike the rest of our family. I love everyone else in my family except him and I guess I love him cause I have to. He is the most self centered and unpleasant person you will ever meet. His poor mother is in a nursing home (Aunt Dee) and has no money but he will gladly let her pay for his and his wife's meal. Actually, my mother will probably end up paying for all of it cause she does not want to cause a fuss or make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Anyway, I feel obligated to go and short of catching a stomach bug I guess I am going.

Guess I just needed to vent. Anyone else been in this position before? How can I make the best of it short of getting falling down drunk?

Order the lobster

 

[KirstenB]

I was going to suggest drinking heavily, but I see you covered that in your last sentence! Keep the conversation going with Bob. Ask him lots of questions so Walt can't get a word in edgewise. Sit far far away from Walt.

 

[mykidsand_i]

I totally feel for you! It's sad to say, but there really isn't much a person can do and still 'keep the peace'. I wish I had better advise for you! We have the same problem with my husbands older sister and her husband. Her husband is not liked by ANYONE in our family. We can't stand getting together with his sister, because 'she never goes alone' as she's told us all before. Except our problem isn't that they won't pay for their own meals and things- her husband is creepy. He's actually been in trouble for sitting in front of the High school in the town where he lives...AND it doesn't help that he's the SAME AGE as my husbands PARENTS!!! Yeah- my SIL is married to someone her moms age (their birthdays are 3 days apart...) and he's cheated on her, beat her and she won't leave him. She's addicted to him. That's all she knows.

I think that a lot of families have 'those types' of family members that no one likes to hang around with. Trust me, last time we had to get together with my SIL and her husband- I left my girls with my parents and I had a few wine coolers before we met up with them. It's the ONLY way my husband can see his SIL- and for us to keep the peace...sometimes in order to not cause ripples, you have to be the bigger person. It really stinks!!! I know how you feel about your mom always taking care of payment for everything too. My mom is the same way...she wants to include everyone, weather she likes them or not- and in order to keep the peace, she'd rather foot the bill. It makes me mad, because I know that she gets taken advantage of. Maybe you could talk to her and let her know that you feel like she's being taken advantage of- but I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your mom...

 

[Myothername]

I think at least one glass of wine is in order. It will make me feel better and it will really PO Walt and his wife. They won't even eat dessert that has liquor baked into it like rum cake. Good grief. I will do my best to at least be as far away from Walt as possible and still sit by Bob. Of course Aunt Dee will fill us all in on her many aches and pains and how horrible life is. I know my eyes will be sore from me rolling them all night.

 

[Planogirl]

There's always at least one irritating family member at every gathering and I suspect that it just comes with the territory. I would say to sit far away from this guy and order something good. It's just a few hours and your visiting uncle will be happy.

 

[clh2]

As Zazu said in Lion King: There's one in every family sire. Two in mine, actually. And they always manage to ruin special occasions.

Luckily, when my family gets together, DH has one job function...he keeps my wine glass full!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Actually, it can be interesting to get together with highly irritating people! You can just sit back and watch him make a fool of himself. I always appreciate my husband even more when I see another guy being a jerk. Just be sure not to sit next to him!!!!

 

[Myothername]

One lovely thing this cousin said a few years ago. Aunt Dee was living with my mother. They are extremely close. Well Aunt Dee has many health problems and my mother took excellent care of her before she went into the nursing home. This cousin, Aunt Dee's only surviving child, tells her if something ever happened to my mother she will have to go into a nursing home cause he can't take care of her. This woman carried him for 9 months, gave birth to him and wiped his snotty nose. He can't even consider having her stay with him. What a jerk. I swear when Aunt Dee dies if he makes this big show about being the loving son I will have to get ugly. Aunt Dee's other two son's died a few years back of illnesses. We all say the wrong son died. Honestly his two brothers were good and loving sons and very giving to the whole family. He had to have been switched at birth. I will just sit as far as I can from him, talk to him as little as possible (can I fake laryingitis?), drink my wine and eat dessert.

 

[N.Bailey]

I'm not sure why it's been suggested that you order the lobster, especially since your mother may end up picking up the entire tab. If your aunt if forced to, that would be an added burden for her. If you're picking up your own portion, order whatever the heck you want.

I say, suck it up and go. Life is entirely too short to be missing family events because you'd prefer not to be around 1 particular person. Trust me, Lord willing of course, you will never look back and regret all the time you were able to spend with someone after they're gone.

 

[1957]

My long-deceased FIL was the total embarassment! He'd insist upon dining at the cheapest restaurant, and then send the chopped steak back 3-4 times because it wasn't rare enough. He spent thousands on deep-sea fishing in Mexico, but nada on a chopped steak. He was a total bully, and I never missed him. How sad is that?

 

[Jennasis]

One lovely thing this cousin said a few years ago. Aunt Dee was living with my mother. They are extremely close. Well Aunt Dee has many health problems and my mother took excellent care of her before she went into the nursing home. This cousin, Aunt Dee's only surviving child, tells her if something ever happened to my mother she will have to go into a nursing home cause he can't take care of her. This woman carried him for 9 months, gave birth to him and wiped his snotty nose. He can't even consider having her stay with him. What a jerk. I swear when Aunt Dee dies if he makes this big show about being the loving son I will have to get ugly. Aunt Dee's other two son's died a few years back of illnesses. We all say the wrong son died. Honestly his two brothers were good and loving sons and very giving to the whole family. He had to have been switched at birth. I will just sit as far as I can from him, talk to him as little as possible (can I fake laryingitis?), drink my wine and eat dessert.

What an ugly thing to say.

Maybe he is the black sheep. Maybe he is the biggest loser on the planet. And with an attitude like that, there is no incentive for himself to make any better effort.

That said. Have a couple of glasses of wine and do you best to suck it up for the sake of your mom and Uncle Bob. Or do everyone and yourself a favor and stay home.