Earning Respect

[disney junky]

I'm old school. I respected my elders, teachers, friends of parents, people in general. They didn't have to earn my respect. Why do I have to prove myself to my students to earn their respect?

That's my little vent for the day.

 

[Tink888]

I'm old school. I respected my elders, teachers, friends of parents, people in general. They didn't have to earn my respect. Why do I have to prove myself to my students to earn their respect?

That's my little vent for the day.

I'm with you in a sense. I treat everyone WITH respect. To me that shouldn't have to be earned. But respecting someone as a person needs to be earned IMHO. It's more a reflection of being raised to treat people well than whether or not I have individual respect for someone.

 

[sbell111]

I think of respect as more something to be lost, than something to be earned. I like to think that I show everyone respect until they have shown that they are not worthy of it.

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

I think of respect as more something to be lost, than something to be earned. I like to think that I show everyone respect until they have shown that they are not worthy of it.

 

[pearlieq]

I treat everyone WITH respect. To me that shouldn't have to be earned. But respecting someone as a person needs to be earned IMHO.

That's an excellent way to put it. Everyone is entitled to be treated with a basic level of respect--common courtesy, if you will.

Teaching is a job, just like any other. It's staffed with good people and bad people. There's nothing inherently magical about being a teacher that demands extra respect beyond simple human decency.

You have to prove yourself to your student to earn their respect because they don't know you. They don't know if you're a good person or a jerk. They don't know if you're worthy of respect or esteem and won't until you prove yourself.

That doesn't allow them to treat you disrespectfully, but they don't have to think much of you until you've given them a reason to. Frankly, I prefer it that way. I'd rather kids question authority and reserve judgment than just blindly follow whoever is in front of them.

 

[pigletz]

It's funny that you would post this today. I had yet another student today tell me that "You have to give respect to get it". I am so tired of hearing that. I am in no way disrespectful to my students, but they seem to think that if I tell them what to do (stop talking, sit down, get to work) then I am being disrespectful. In their minds, that gives them the right to be disrespectful to me.

 

[bicker]

I think of respect as more something to be lost, than something to be earned.

Yes, absolutely. Everyone inherently warrants dignity and respect, until they do something to lose it.

 

[Acklander]

I've always been a believer that everyone has my respect unless they earn my disrespect.
Maybe have your students write an essay on what respect means to them, that might give you some insight.

 

[FireDancer]

I think the issues is there is a big difference between courtesy and respect. I treat people politely and with courtesy by default but neither respect nor disrespect them by default.

My respect has to be earned and is not granted just because of your job or how long you have been alive. Respect comes from your character and your actions and choices. Doing what is right when it is the hard choice. For example, when I get a new boss I respect the position but the respect of the man (or woman) has to be earned.

 

[klacey1]

I think of respect as more something to be lost, than something to be earned. I like to think that I show everyone respect until they have shown that they are not worthy of it.

Amen to that!

 

[Shugardrawers]

I think of respect as more something to be lost, than something to be earned. I like to think that I show everyone respect until they have shown that they are not worthy of it.

You're on the right track here. Every human being is born with basic human rights and the right to be treated with decency, kindness and compassion. RESPECT on the other hand, is EARNED. It requires hard work. It requires that a person show the same decency, kindness and compassion to their fellow human beings at the VERY LEAST.

In order to BE RESPECTED one must go above and beyond that basic requirement. Reaching out further than is required. Loving and forgiving more than is necessary. Giving to the less fortunate in a MEANINGFUL way.

Treating others as you wish to be treated. You are born with certain human rights and courtesies due you. RESPECT MUST BE EARNED.

 

[Shelton123]

I'm old school. I respected my elders, teachers, friends of parents, people in general. They didn't have to earn my respect. Why do I have to prove myself to my students to earn their respect?

That's my little vent for the day.

In my opinion, some of those students may have been respectful, but then whoever they're respectful to takes advantage of them. Because, you know, they're kids. Being a high schooler (whether you are talking about HS or not, I'm not sure) I can say that I know a lot of kids that this has happened to.

It doesn't make it right, everyone should be treated with respect, but that may be the (possibly subconscious) reason they don't seem to respect you.

Though, I'm not sure if simply being rude, interrupting, etc. means you truly disrespect a person... I mean, we don't necessarily think how our actions will affect others, and it's not an issue of disrespect as much as an issue of self control, it seems. I see disrespecting someone as saying they have less value as a person than another person. Being rude is disrespectful, but they don't necessarily disrespect you... do you know what I mean? I know that was really confusing but I can't think of any other way to explain it.

 

[bicker]

You're on the right track here. Every human being is born with basic human rights and the right to be treated with decency, kindness and compassion. RESPECT on the other hand, is EARNED.

What I've seen, though, is that people generally apply their own personal beliefs and values in determining whether other people are worthy of respect, rather than granting that another person is worthy of respect based on their hard work and diligence in living in accordance with that other person's own beliefs and values.

Beyond that, I see assertions that respect needs to be earned as leading to a scenario ripe with intolerance, ethnocentrism, and conflict. Generally, the refusal to grant dignity and respect to others, who have themselves not done anything worthy of withholding respect, is itself an action that is worthy of withholding respect from the refuse-er.

In order to BE RESPECTED one must go above and beyond that basic requirement.

I disagree. Dignity and respect are basic. That which you're referring to -- that which requires one to "go above and beyond" is honor.

 

[Tinijocaro]

You will earn respect by smiling through your job while disciplining those who need it-consistently.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think of respect as more something to be lost, than something to be earned. I like to think that I show everyone respect until they have shown that they are not worthy of it.

I agree.

 

[seashoreCM]

For an English teacher, it would be easy to spend one class period discussing what it means to respect others. "Respect" could even be the topic for an essay assignment.

In class, when a student does not respect the teacher, he is at the same time not respecting the whole class because disruption is taking place. This fact can be included and emphasized in a discussion about respect.

(Alluding to another thread) The teacher is not supposed to ridicule any student even when the student has been absent a lot (illness?) or may not be keeping up (illness?).

 

[ilovejack02]

I think of respect as more something to be lost, than something to be earned. I like to think that I show everyone respect until they have shown that they are not worthy of it.

Exactly the way I feel also.

 

[bookgirl]

Honestly, I think kids should speak politely to adults and that teachers deserve at least that much simply because they are adults and authoritly figures and human beings, but that's not really a respect thing, it's just plain old manners.

Everyone deserves to be treated politely until they lose that right because of thier own actions. However I don't think anyone automatically deserves respect. Respect is given to those whom you admire and feel deserve special consideration. You earn respect through your actions and words. I respect the law, but if an officer is misusing his power I will not respect him no matter what uniform he wears. I respect education, but being a former teacher I saw too many educators who were ugly to thier students and did only enough work to get to the next vacation, and didn't deserve any respect.

I speak politely to everyone, but I don't have to respect you to be polite.

 

[golfgal]

I think the issues is there is a big difference between courtesy and respect. I treat people politely and with courtesy by default but neither respect nor disrespect them by default.

My respect has to be earned and is not granted just because of your job or how long you have been alive. Respect comes from your character and your actions and choices. Doing what is right when it is the hard choice. For example, when I get a new boss I respect the position but the respect of the man (or woman) has to be earned.

I agree that respect/courtesy are often confused but since most people use them interchangeably I agree that everyone should be treated with respect/courtesy until they do something to lose that. It ESPECIALLY bothers me when you hear this from KIDS since they don't even know what they are talking about half the time, they are just repeating what they hear from parents who have no idea what they are talking about either.

Tiger Woods is a perfect example-he has done a lot to earn the respect of others by his dedication to the game and his sheer talent. He has lost that respect based on his extracurricular activities as of late.

 

[DawnM]

I taught high school for 16 years. I miss it and am staying home for a number of reasons right now (related to my own children.) BUT, I found that you really had to work on respect only for a couple of years. Once you are more established and have earned a "reputation" in the school, the next batch of kids isn't as difficult to have to win over.

I used to tell my students, "You can have a mean teacher or a nice teacher. If I have to fight with you on every issue, it doesn't make it pleasant for either of us. It is up to you.......and just so you know.....I will WIN either way!"

I didn't have to get too mean though.

Dawn