DW cancelled our trip! (update pg. 6, we're going!)

[Jenn]

Think of some other ways you can raise some cash quickly.

-Garage sale?
-Can either of you work some overtime?
-Reduce the bills as mentioned before - we cut our internet bill by $5 a month, our cable by $30 a month
-Groceries - sit down with the store flyer and plan for the week as inexpensively as possible. If you normally spend $100 for example, shoot for less and put the difference in the Disney fund. I can usually pull that off every other week, do a big shopping trip one week, and a smaller one the next.
-Any birthdays between now and then? Ask Grandma, Aunt, Uncles or whomever typically buys a gift for you or your kids for Disney Dollars or cash (if this wouldn't offend them - my family usually asks what can I get you? So, I tell them - Disney dollars for our trip!)

 

[MrsPete]

Whether to go on the vacation is a problem, but I think that lack of agreement about finances is a bigger problem. You and your wife need to get on the same page financially. What I'm hearing is that she's concerned about debt, while you are seeing Mickey ears and dreaming of a great family vacation. You both have some reasonable points: On her side, the longer you let the debt go, the more you pay. That's not healthy for the family in the long run. On your side, you have a good price on the condo and free airfare now -- opportunities that may or may not come around again -- and you want to go while your children are still young.

Compromise would be the best choice. I suggest that you two sit down and agree upon a budget. Let her see that you're committed to getting rid of X amount of debt each month; make sure you're paying more than your minimum amounts -- otherwise, you'll literally never get rid of it. Then explain your concerns to her: you want to take this trip while the kids are young and the opportunities are good. Since debt is a problem, I suggest that you read The Complete Tightwad Gazzette by Amy Dazezyn and Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey. Also, stating the obvious here, don't add to your credit card debt; that only postpones your dream and adds to the financial frustration between the two of you.

Back to the trip . . . whatever you do, both of you need to agree wholeheartedly. If you push her into agreeing, you won't have a good trip. She'll be worried about the cost constantly. If you decide not to go now, perhaps you could choose a date in the future -- maybe two years or so -- and agree that you're working towards that date. That would make you feel better, if you cancel.

Since tickets are the sticking issue, I think some other people have given you some good advice:

Consider a smaller number of ticket days; if we go for a week, we usually use four ticket days. We never use a ticket on our travel days; half the day would be wasted! The other days are spent at the hotel pool, etc. Pick up some pool toys at the Dollar Store before you leave home, and your kids will have a blast. You'll find lots to do at Disney for free; however, it takes some planning.

Consider tickets to Universal or Seaworld as some of those four days; their multi-day tickets are very inexpensive. Universal's coasters are more suited to pre-teens and teens, while Disney's rides are geared towards elementary schoolers. Seaworld tickets are expensive, but you get a second day free.

Do not consider buying used tickets. Any ticket to a Flordia theme park looks like a credit card, and its appearance doesn't change when it's run through the turn style. I have lots of old tickets in my scrapbook; if I were dishonest, I could sell them to you, perhaps saying that they were five-day park hoppers with two days remaining. You'd never know until you reached the turnstyle. That would be no bargain! Do look into reputible on-line ticket brokers who sell new tickets for a small discount.

 

[MrsPete]

Think of some other ways you can raise some cash quickly.

Good suggestions, Jenn. Here are some more:

To cut your grocery bill, watch the cost of your beverages. Sodas, juice, and alcohol are very expensive and add no nutritional value. This is a relatively painless way to cut your grocery bill.

Look for non-grocery store places to shop; we shop at a farmers' market and a salvage store (where meat is always $1/pound and frozen french fries are $1/10 pounds).

When you make a casserole or lasagna, make two and freeze the second one. On an evening when you're too tired to cook, pull it out -- you'll save the cost of a restaurant meal that otherwise would've tempted you.

Reduce the number of clothes in your children's closets (meaning, buy fewer items as their current things are outgrown). Most kids have more clothes than Barbie.

Avoid the mall and Target. How many times have you made an impulse purchase (something that you wouldn't have wanted if you hadn't seen the item in the store) that you later regreted? Before you buy another shirt (or whatever), consider how many you already have.

Raise the deductible on your insurance. You wouldn't file a claim for $100 anyway (because it would raise your insurance for the next five years), so why not raise the deductible to $500 or even $1000 (assuming you can afford to pay that amount, should something happen). This can cut your insurance premiums in half. Go over your insurance bill with a fine tooth comb; make sure you have what you need, but nothing extra. They often slide in new stuff. For example, on my new policy they added coverage on my jewelry; I don't have that much "nice stuff" -- pretty much just my wedding ring -- so I had that removed. It's not worth even the few dollars that the coverage added to the premium.

Have the kids make homemade gifts for relatives; start well ahead of Christmas so you'll finish in time. Homemade calendars (printed on your computer, bound at the local Kinko's) would be a good idea.

If you really want to save some money (and have mom stay home), get rid of one car. Don't say it's impossible: we did it for years, and we lived out in the country with no public transportation.

Anytime you feel that you "must" make a non-essential purchase (you decide that you'd walk more often if you had an ipod, you want a TV for the basement, your son wants a nicer baseball glove, your daughter begs for a bike), consider these two things: 1) Wait two weeks before you buy it (or, if it's on sale now, buy it and force yourself to leave it in the bag with the receipt for two weeks so it can be returned); often you'll find that the desire for the item wanes in that time. 2) Wait until a birthday or a gift-giving occasion.

 

[budbeerlady]

Hi, we are in the same boat, not sinking just holding steady but we have never had a family vacation besides camping. So I took the plunge and booked and then told DH. But I have been scraping away money, we are having a garage sale, I have the Sam's Club calling cards and basic phone is $32 a month. I keep threatening to turn off the satellite, but we only get 2 channels out in the sticks where we live. I keep all my $1 bills in a cinderella shoe box, it didnt take me long to get the $ for MVMCP tickets. I take $50 out of each check and send it to disney each time, so I can watch my balance go down. Maybe see how much it is to add park hoppers to your tickets so you can do both AK and MGM? Definetly do the trip! The DH and I have been drifting lately and I am hoping this does the thing. Just too busy with life to really connect especially with the DD. Hugs to you and hope it all works out for the best, but I would go. Short of losing the house or being hospitalized hell or high water I am going to Disney! We all need some pixie dust in our lives!

 

[crisi]

It does seem like you and your wife need to talk. Perhaps with a counseler. She wants to be a SAHM (sounds like she is, just working part time when you or the older kids are home) - how realistic is that even without your Disney trip? Money has always been tight, but you own a timeshare. You have a lot of credit card debt. Gas prices are really high, and one of your cars is a Suburban. You need to figure out what you need from life, what you want from life, what the difference is, and how you are going to afford the wants.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

You've gotten alot of great advice on this thread, but I just wanted to throw in here that you can get alot of great savings/earnings tips on the budget board as well so you might want to check that out.

 

[kitn]

I listen to this guy Dave Ramsey on the raidio. He is all about getting out of debt. I think he would have great advice for you. You can listen to his show on his websight.

 

[estherhead]

I am a Weight Watchers leaders (as those on the Dieting for Disney board know) and I often compare eating to money management. Both take the same skills. You only have so many calories available to you each day, just as you only have so much money available each day.

Here in America the advertisers lure us into believing that is not true: with credit cards and food commercials. But it IS true.

Honestly, I believe that the tips you learn from doing the one, will help you with the other.

The most important tip though, is truly believing "I'm worth it." Often we use this phrase when we are looking at a short term happiness, like a donut or a Target purchase. "It's only $3.00, and I'm worth it." But the reality is, you are worth so much more than $3.00, or a measly donut. You are worth a happy marriage, a happy Disney vacation, a healthy long life.

Having something that your entire family is working towards, like a vacation, actually can motivate you. It's hard to be motivated by moving AWAY from things. Away from debt, away from high blood pressure. This is negative motivation and only lasts momentarily. It is better to move TOWARDS something. Towards a vacation, towards a new house, towards your wife not working anymore. This helps you to make sacrifices, which changing your lives will take.

And a support team is crucial. You and your wife can do this, not just Disney, but "this" means lose the excess baggage. Even tiny steps will make you feel better about yourselves, prove that you are worth SO MUCH more than you think you are, and tiny steps TOWARDS something will be HUGE when you look back.

And don't worry, the worriers always take a bit more time, but if you take the initiative and change, without asking her to change, she will adapt.

Never mistake comfortable with happy.

If you would like practical help, I have fed my family of four on $66 a week and lost 2 pounds. It takes effort and commitment but it is WORTH it and so am I!!! Just post back here and I'll give you my e-mail.

Esther

 

[tatooed goofy]

It is never cheap no matter when you go. I agree, the memories are worth it. It was my dream and DH went along. We are going back now because of DH enjoying it too much. Talk it over though. Here are hugs for you!

 

[bobcat]

You only live once. I am in no way financially well off as a single mom on a teachers salary but vacations are a priority for me. Money comes and goes but your kids are only young once. I always go through a guilt phase before vacation, in fact we are leaving in less than two weeks and I am obsesing about money. However my family is better off for taking time together and I don't regret spending the money.

 

[MOMOFMNM]

I am sorry about your worries...marriage, family, money and weight issues, those are biggies...BUT you should not plan a trip against her permission...never do that. It sounds like she would rather be a SAHM and care for all those little ones over vacations and living it up WHICH believe me is VERY admirable these days in a hedonistic society. Might I suggest first of all, you two look into Weight Watchers if you'd like to shed a few. It has changed my life. I wear a bikini now and loosing weight and feeling great has helped me in all other aspects of my life, including my marriage. I think your wife is a smart and loving mother, sounds like my DH who doesn't want to go because of $$$ but I told him how much we would love it and how I would work to save up some $$ and I sell things on EBAY and garage sales and pick up cans for extra $$ for the trip however we are going 90 days earlier due to the free dining and he was upset that I was not going to have as much as I said I would saved up and I told him we would have to use the credit card for some of it...well...he was kinda miffed but I explained the free dining and it helped a little. We talked about it and had a serious discussion and for the record, had he said "no way" then that would be that. Personally I think Disney is not the big issue here. I think you need to have a real heart to heart and also take care of yourselves as individuals too!! I know it is hard with lots of kids, we have three and I care for 3 others all day. Maybe come to a comprimise...shorten your stay or go in spring of 2006 or Dec of 2006...that is not too far away, you get to plan and have more time to work out the $$ issues. I agree to fly for free is an amazing deal!!! Definitely take that and run with it...we pay 1500 to fly!!! I hope it all goes well for you...your family looks very loving and close. Take little steps in the right direction and soon you are where you'e always wanted to be

 

[bear74]

Have you registered for the mousesavers news letter. Every month on the 15th it comes out. Their is a leak to ticketmania.com with discounted ticket prices. I agree do Mypoints and any other PTR or rewards sites you can find. Use ING to save your money it pays you 2% interest I think. you can find a lot of good reward sites on the rewards board.
Good Luck.

 

[Diznut84]

I just wanted to add that Liki Tiki has a phenomenal water park on grounds! My family really enjoyed the resort. You might consider an intermediate car, and saving money for your tickets between now and December. Think of some creative ways that you can make extra money for the trip (i.e. garage sales, ebay sales, coordinate presents in Disney dollars and/or WDW ticket money). My family can eat very inexpensively at Disney if we try (split meals, drink water, and bring trail mix into the park). Your instincts to cut back on the extras is great. Stick with the basics: get into the park and read the Unofficial Guide before going!

That said, as you know, you need to work it out with your wife. It's okay to freak out a bit either before or after your vacation. Just make sure you leave it at home. We do the same thing. It is a lot of money, but so are a lot of other items that are annualized (for me, trips to vending machines, money spent on lunches instead of packed lunches, etc.). It sounds like this is a priority for you. See if you can strike a deal with her. The best marriages are based on good deal-making!

Good luck! I'll be praying for you and your family!

 

[DisDon]

Thank you all for all the kind words and good advice. It was a great outlet just to post this initially, and all that you've said has only helped me. I feel much better about it now that a little more time has passed, and I'm already taking steps to fix some things. I've wanted to start really working on my weight for a while, and this situation, combined with starting to participate on the WISH boards, has got me started. Here's my journal I've started:
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=844254
I think for now the best tactic towards the trip is to not talk about it, just let it ride, we've already talked and know that we shouldn't cancel the timeshare yet, as long as we cancel more than 60 days prior we can exchange it again for another year. I'm planning but I certainly won't make any purchases behind her back, just keeping the dream alive. Haven't cancelled the car rental, no need for that, its non-binding. I looked today at buying some of the old park hoppers on ebay, maybe a 1 or 2 day hopper + MVMCP. Most of the ebay sellers look reputable, with good feedback ratings. We'll see, but for now I'm just going to concetrate on my weight and health, and keeping the peace. Thanks again for the words and 's.

 

[poody1]

Good luck and please keep us updated

 

[Disneyrsh]

I really would avoid the tickets on ebay, we've had park hoppers with days left on them where the strip demagnetized and we had to show our matching id's to get new ones. Even if the seller is reputable if something happens to the tickets between them and you, you are SOL.

Plus Disney makes a big deal with the tickets being non-transferrable, and we personally know a couple that tried using another couple's AP's, and they were busted by Disney, kicked out of the park, and the AP's confiscated.

There's a difference between budgeting and taking shortcuts, and I *really* think you're playing roulette with the tickets on ebay.

As a reputable Ebay seller, I would NEVER sell my hoppers on ebay because it says on the tickets that they're non-transferrable, so selling them on Ebay is wrong and inherently 'not reputable', and if they don't work for some reason, I'll get negative feedback and that will ruin my reputation. So, that makes me wonder if those sellers really are reputable because you take a big chance as a seller with those tickets.

 

[Zoemakes5]

I've always been in somewhat of the same boat as you and your DW. We are always playing the balancing game with finances, even more so because of our DS1's special needs. But, I've been able to convince him of the importance of vacations. To me, it's the experiences in life, particularly with your family, that will last. More than any toy, more than the "stuff" they accumulate. Can anyone really remember what they got for their 8th b-day? But, if they went to WDW for their 8th b-day they will certainly remember it!
I've been able to convince him to go on some larger trips by showing him my willingness (and ability!) to pare down from what I would 'want' to what we could really 'swing'. For example, we did WDW two years ago. If I had just said to him, "I'd like to go to WDW", he would have said "yeah, right" and walked away. But, I planned it out, did some shopping around. First we drove down, so there was no airplane costs for the 5 of us, plus we didn't then also need to rent a car (not likely to work in your situation, but you get the idea!). Then we stayed with my parents in their timeshare in Orlando. We also got only 2 day park hoppers instead. We spent one of our non-park days with a character breakfast, DTD, etc. so we still had the Disney experience, but didn't pay for the park. Asking grandparents/aunts/uncles, etc. for Disney Dollars for the trip, using that as x-mas presents itself, etc. Even if the timing isn't "perfect" I don't think the "cosmos" could align any better for you with the costs. Sounds like you and your family could use a break, too! And, I can't tell you strongly enough, that with little ones, sieze the day! They will get big, going on a vacation with the family won't mean so much, WDW won't hold the magic quite so much...you get the idea. And from a practical standpoint, they'll cost more, too!
Maybe you two could sit down and come up with a plan with a "last ditch" time or something. See if you can pare down spending and/or make some extra cash and save a certain amount by that date. During that time you could detail out exactly what the costs would be. Take a good look at what you can do to cut costs. See what you might be able to "accumulate" between now and then. Express to your wife how you understand her point, but that you think this would be really good for your family and a once in a lifetime experience and something you could share. For me, it would be something to the effect of "whether we go on this trip or not will have very little impact on your need to work, why don't we make it worthwhile!" Be willing to cut back on things and do your homework.
Best of luck

 

[Jakesmom504]

WOW, do I feel like I just read the story of my life! We only have 1 child but I know exactly where you are coming from. Right now my husband works 3 jobs and I work weekends so I can stay home with DS. Day care wouldn't work for us either, too expensive! During the fall and spring I go to school on his nights off so at that time we only see each other for a few hours on Friday nights. I have students loans also that I'm going to have to start paying back soon and I'm nowhere near done school (I just changed my major) because I'm not taking enough credits. DH is contemplating getting into an excellerated program to finish school (he's no where near done either), more time we won't see each other. Although getting done school is of course a good thing. We don't spend a lot of family time together so we need our vacation and it sounds like you do too! We have also refied, transferred card balances, cut back on almost everything we can. In fact we are getting ready to trade both vehicles in for something cheaper. For us I know it's somewhat temporary because EVENTUALLY we will be done school but for right now, it's horrible. However I also look at it like many others who have posted, your children are only young once, you never know what the future will bring and if you have the opportunity to take such a wonderful trip to WDW , just do it. Keep your head up and good luck. I truly hope everything works out for you!

 

[talicskai]

So the only big ugly cost I see is the actual WDW tickets. 2 adults, 1 12 yr old, and 3 under 10 for 3 days thru ticketmania is $975. 7 days is only $1083, a difference of $108, which is $4.50 a day per person (heck, 10 days is only $1140, a difference of $57, which is $3.16 a day per person different that 7 days, and $3.93 a day per person difference from the 3 day). So, basically, more or less $1000-$1100 for our tickets. That does NOT include MVMCP, since i am trying to do this cheap (2 frustrations for wdw tickets, 1st, that the 1st 3 days are so expensive, and 2, that MVMCP can't be included in that).

Our kids are 6 and 8 years old and have only done the MK each time. Next trip we may take them to MGM but to them (& me) the REAL Disney magic is at MK. They love it and don't know what they are missing. All the other time is spent at Downtown Disney, The Boardwalk (where we watch the EC fireworks for free!) and at the hotel pool. You do not have to do 7 days at the parks to "Do Disney" You would come home exhausted if you did. Cut way back on the park passes and you'll see the budget much more manageable. I would personally skip the party and do one full day at MK.
JMHO

Teresa

 

[MrsPete]

I am a Weight Watchers leaders (as those on the Dieting for Disney board know) and I often compare eating to money management. Both take the same skills. You only have so many calories available to you each day, just as you only have so much money available each day.

Here in America the advertisers lure us into believing that is not true: with credit cards and food commercials. But it IS true.

Honestly, I believe that the tips you learn from doing the one, will help you with the other.

The most important tip though, is truly believing "I'm worth it." Often we use this phrase when we are looking at a short term happiness, like a donut or a Target purchase. "It's only $3.00, and I'm worth it." But the reality is, you are worth so much more than $3.00, or a measly donut. You are worth a happy marriage, a happy Disney vacation, a healthy long life.

Having something that your entire family is working towards, like a vacation, actually can motivate you. It's hard to be motivated by moving AWAY from things. Away from debt, away from high blood pressure. This is negative motivation and only lasts momentarily. It is better to move TOWARDS something. Towards a vacation, towards a new house, towards your wife not working anymore. This helps you to make sacrifices, which changing your lives will take.

And a support team is crucial. You and your wife can do this, not just Disney, but "this" means lose the excess baggage. Even tiny steps will make you feel better about yourselves, prove that you are worth SO MUCH more than you think you are, and tiny steps TOWARDS something will be HUGE when you look back.

And don't worry, the worriers always take a bit more time, but if you take the initiative and change, without asking her to change, she will adapt.

Never mistake comfortable with happy.

If you would like practical help, I have fed my family of four on $66 a week and lost 2 pounds. It takes effort and commitment but it is WORTH it and so am I!!! Just post back here and I'll give you my e-mail.

Esther

Great post!