SleepyatDVC
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2001
- Messages
- 2,562
DisDon said:I'm not sure I'm ready quite yet to have her read this. Soon. Still staying off the soda, and walked 2 miles last night. Checking out http://www.daveramsey.com. Interesting stuff. Reserved Total Money Makeover and Financial Peace audiobooks from the library.
I have to say I get a little bugged by the folks who say "don't go, save the money" and then I look down at their sig and they've been to WDW 20 times!![]()
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LY-MI.
Congratulations on staying off the soda and the motivation to get in shape.
I'm one that has been xx number of times also. I totally understand your being bugged! I'll be the first one to admit that I am extremely blessed.
As an only child I travelled a lot with my parents and still do sometimes. Now that I have a family of my own, I still love to travel. However, traveling to vacation is a luxury, no doubt about it. We pay off every single vacation before we even leave the house. We try to use cash but anything put on a credit card gets paid off in full when we get back.
As I mentioned, I'm lucky to be able to afford to do this. I understand that many can't afford to do this easily. I truly admire those that find travel vacations important enough to find creative ways to financially do it. If they can save for it or manage to pay it off responsibly afterwards then good for them!
Personally, I feel that travel vacation money should be disposable income, meaning money left over AFTER everything else is paid. If I couldn't pay for the trip, then I just wouldn't go. I would just have to vacation at home or locally.
Obviously, this may not be how others feel since it might mean that lots of people may never go away on vacation. My utmost respect to those that manage to save up the money to do it anyway based on a limited income.
I am EXTREMELY fiscally conservative about money, except for vacations, of course!
My parents have been self-employed with their own business all my life. They worried about money constantly when I was growing up. I never wanted for ANYTHING and had a very comfortable childhood. But you'd be surprised at what kids hear and learn sitting in the back seat of the car. I "worried" along with them. I saved all my money in a piggy bank and then later in a real bank just waiting for that "rainy day."
Later when I started helping out in the family business, I really learned what worry was. We always had enough money to live and eat. But when we "worried" about money, it wasn't about thousands or even tens of thousands, we were talking about hundreds of thousands and even millions.
Praise God that as a famiy we got through that period but I learned that I never wanted to have to be in that position of worrying again.
My husband knew how I felt about money and security when we got married. We don't carry any debt. No car loans - we bought our one car outright when we had the cash. No mortgage, no house - I'm a property manager with free housing. We do use credit cards, especially for the reward points, but we pay it off every month. Sometimes, if the card has special 0% financing for cash advances, I take advance of that, but once the interest kicks in the total balance gets paid off
DH has a steady job with "decent" pay. I get a paltry "nominal" salary, but the benefits are great, housing, utilities, cable, dsl, family health insurance, flexible hours and lots of vacation time.
We wish we had a house but we really can't afford the NYC prices and it was silly to pass up free housing and then for me to have to commute back to work. So, we are saving the money we would have paid for rent for when we actually do buy one day.
Because we don't have to worry about housing expenses, we are lucky, lucky, lucky... to have the disposable income that many do not to spend on vacation without having to make tons of sacrifices.
I'm certainly not suggesting that someone has to be as lucky as me to be able to go to Disney but obviously they can't go as many times as I do if they really can't afford to.
I can see both sides of the picture and can relate to both DisDon and his wife. I can totally understand how much DisDon wants and really "needs" this vacation. It's not just a vacation, it's nurishment for his soul/heart/mind. Something to look forward to in order to motivate him that life can be good and can get better.
On the other hand, I understand how worry about money and finances can consume his wife. For me and probably many women including DisDon's wife, money represents security. Security for the home, for the children, for the future. If you start worrying about money, you start worrying about the kids, about their future, about your future. Everything seems hopeless and bleek. When your spouse doesn't worry WITH you, you feel alone and less secure and thus, money becames an even more important focus in trying to get some security back.
I am secure now but I still do worry about money sometimes because I NEVER want to be in the position of having to worrying about pay check to pay check. I can only imagine how his wife and many other women (and some men) feel when they have more expenses than income and there just doesn't seem like any solution. Paying for vacations would be the last thing on my mind. A real vacations would be not having to face the bills this month.
However, it helps a 1000 times to have a supportive spouse. When you know that there is someone else to shoulder the fears and worries, you realize that money isn't everything and won't solve everything. You learn that there is security to be found in relationships and family. Even if you lose everything, if your family is together, supporting and helping each other, and healthy, then you have what's really important.
It takes a long time to get to that point sometimes. You have to learn to transfer your feelings of security from money to your spouse and family. This is hard to do if you feel that you can't "trust" your spouse to understand your fears and your need for security and a secure future.
Sorry to get so long winded. Many people don't understand why some people feel so strong about being able to afford paying for a Disney vacation. Many people do it on credit and have no problems with it - I guess that works for them. But if someone is "worried" about money already and is worried about affording a trip to Disney, then it's hard for me to imagine how the additional expense and the weeks, months, and maybe even years of worry over the added financial burden won't overshadow a week's worth of memories and fun.
Yes, I agree that memories for the kids are priceless, but I also know that tensions and worries at home over money and finances can affect the kids without you realizing it and can last a lifetime.
Didn't mean to come accross harsh at all. Just trying to share another point of view and maybe shed some light over how your wife may be feeling. Don't know you or your wife so all these are generalizations and may not even apply.
Again I hope everything works out. It sounds like you are trying to improve many aspects of your life. Good for you! I hope you succeed.