DVC backlash!?? tell me what's good about disney!

[stopher1]

Wow - that's quite the reaction you received from your homeschool group "friends". That's terrible for you. Sorry you have had to put up with that.

We too homeschool, and while our kids are quite well adjusted and continue to excel in their studies scoring very highly in their testing - homeschooling as a whole continues to get a bad rap from many segments of our society. Too many people are just so hung up on the socialization aspects or some other things since the choice to home educate goes against the "norm" of our society. True, many people choose it for religious reasons or as some pp's have said for their own insecurities about societal structure - but in the end it's a personal choice just as it is in where someone banks, shops, dines or vacations. My wife was a teacher in the school system where we lived previously, and when we made the move to the midwest, decided she wanted to spend their formative years teaching the most important charges she ever could - her own children. As such she's getting the best of both worlds - imparting knowledge to the next generation, and staying at home with her kids. It works well for us, but certainly isn't always the same for everyone else. It was our choice, and we respect the fact that other families make different choices. That's part of what makes our world go round - many different choices exist in this life.

Some very good friends of ours who don't h/s several years ago were initially a bit leery of us because of the whole h/s thing based on perceptions they had from some h/s neighbors of theirs who were doing their kids a complete disservice by trying to h/s them (and failing miserably)...but through the years they have seen that our kids are just as adjusted socially and academically as any of the public school kids in our circle, if not more so and applaud us for the choice we made. They even turn to us now for help and advice and support when encountering problems with their kids' schools - and the wife works for the school district.

Don't concentrate on the negativity of others - just do the best job that you can for your kids and their education. Not everyone will appreciate or like the same things that you do, and sometimes like this situation, people just get strange (weirded out, if you will) and verbalize their disdain in some very interesting manners.

The reaction you received, while a bit extreme, doesn't surprise me either. I've found through various segments of my life a great disdain for Disney out there - especially as materialistic it seems to be. Certainly these boards aren't going to represent it, but there is a large part of our society that feels similar to what your "friends" have expressed. As such, we've chosen NOT to talk about our DVC and continual Disney trips unless there's a pressing need to ... we just choose to not even go there with certain people. Through the years we've learned who does and does not care for Disney anything, and the ones that do - we talk about it with. The ones that don't, we don't. But you're definitely quite safe here - talk away and enjoy it!!

For us, in the past year, we've encountered more instances of the green-eyed monster amongst our public-school family friends...who are also DVC'ers. We tend to avoid any of the traditional school vacation periods and as a family vacation while their kids are in school... and when we compare stories of our Disney trips with their Disney trips - they are ALWAYS wishing they could go when we do since the crowds are so much lighter and we get to enjoy many more activities than they do while there. They've reached the stage where pulling their kids out for a Disney trip isn't so good for their kids' records ... but ours can just do school as it fits in. Plus every trip is cause for some new research report when we get home. Last October/November my younger son came home and did a wonderful report on the assorted animals found on the savannahs at AKV. Disney provides wonderful opportunities for education as well as just good clean fun, even if some of their takes on traditional fairy tales are a bit (dare I say it) saccharine at times.

 

[wideeyedwonder]

homeschooling as a whole continues to get a bad rap from many segments of our society. Too many people are just so hung up on the socialization aspects or some other things since the choice to home educate goes against the "norm" of our society.

We are seriously considering (95% chance) homeschooling our eldest DD (age 10) within the year. She is very bright, and most school work comes easily to her; however, we spend a good deal of our "education time" with her at home focusing on "socialization". With many kids, the social stuff (interacting with other human beings with a favorable outcome) seems to come easy or naturally. However, both myself as a child, and my eldest daughter seem to have to make more of an effort than the general population to pull it off successfully.

People that are naturally good at socializing take it for granted. For some of us, though, it takes practice.

It took me a long time to finally realize that "socializing" is a skill, and one that has payoffs, both economically and personally...a message that I daily relay to my 3 daughters.

In my experience, people are hung up about homeschooling either because they assume that only accredited, trained teachers should teach kids, that kids won't get 'properly' socialized ("if your kid isn't around druggy kids, how will they know how to handle drugs when they are an adult?"), or they know some kid that was home schooled and "he just seems weird".

One additional, big, and sometimes hidden reason that people may have a negative view of home schooling is that if home schooling is a good thing, then they themselves should be home schooling, which would cause a very big dislocation in their current lives; it's easier to just think "home schooling is bad", and avoid the possible life disruption and cognitive dissonance. EDIT: This feeling goes both ways, as I've known some home schooling families that may be vehemently anti-public education for all kids, because, in the back of their mind, they figure "if I am putting so much effort into this, it MUST be better, and it's just that parents that put their kids in public education are lazy!"

The bottom line (IMHO) is that home schooling can be better than public schooling for some kids, with some parents, in some situations...it's all situation dependent. The funny thing is, you can say the exact same thing about public schooling!

 

[ssawka]

This reminds me of a response I got once when I told a co-worker I was going on a cruise, her response was "Don't you know that cruise ships are one of the biggest polluters and waste so much gas?" My response to her was "The ship is going to sail with or without me, so I might as well enjoy it!"

Do people like this really think they are going to make a difference by not doing business with a particulair company? I mean unless they are growing all their own food, making their own clothing, and furnish their house with hand-made furniture, they have probably done business with a less than desireable company. Chances are that these people have such low self esteem that they need to make you feel bad to make themselves feel better.

 

[stopher1]

However, both myself as a child, and my eldest daughter seem to have to make more of an effort than the general population to pull it off successfully...

People that are naturally good at socializing take it for granted. For some of us, though, it takes practice...

It took me a long time to finally realize that "socializing" is a skill, and one that has payoffs, both economically and personally...a message that I daily relay to my 3 daughters.

I do agree with you there...personally I am an extreme introvert and do have some difficulty with it all - it takes practice and a lot of force to get me to open up, socialize - face to face, yada yada yada. My parents sent me to 2 very small private school growing up (one elementary level, one jr/sr high level) which may or may not have added to it. I can't say. Maybe it's just a personality thing, maybe not. BUT - as an adult, I've had to integrate professionally. I've worked in a number of highly social environments which helped, and I have to interact with customers on a very regular basis. It didn't come naturally at all - it was learned.

Conversely, my kids are quite adept at interacting quite well with people of nearly all age groups, given the various activities they are involved in and the volunteering that they do. They are just as comfortable speaking with and interacting with kids their age as they are with 30 somethings, 50 somethings and 80 somethings. So not having them sitting 6-8 hrs per day in a room full of their age peers doesn't bother me at all. They get plenty of time each week with their age peers in Scouts, church and sports. Maybe that's just me though. We've put up with so much grief from family members about their socialization through the years - but when push comes to shove, they are much more socially adapted then the kids down the street that they play (kids who after they come home from school, and who when I get home from work don't even look at my face when I greet them, mumbling something back to me).

What works for some doesn't necessarily work for others - but just because a family chooses to h/s their kids should not automatically mean they are freaks. Some are - many aren't.

 

[stopher1]

My response to her was "The ship is going to sail with or without me, so I might as well enjoy it!"

Too true!!!

 

[wideeyedwonder]

We've put up with so much grief from family members about their socialization through the years - but when push comes to shove, they are much more socially adapted then the kids down the street that they play (kids who after they come home from school, and who when I get home from work don't even look at my face when I greet them, mumbling something back to me).

I don't want to derail this thread, but one last funny anecdote...

My best friends have been home schooling their kids. When they first decided to home school, a mutual friend of ours told them that home school kids "don't get proper socialization", and that they turn out "weird" and "freaky" because of this. She went on to say that if my best friends decided to endanger their kids' social skills by home schooling them, that she would cut off all communication with my friends in protest.

The funny thing is, this "friend" was (IMHO) one of the more socially mal-adjusted people I knew...if she were a bit more insightful, she might have considered her own personality as an indictment on the public school system!

PS She *did* cut off all communication, to the relief of my best friends.

 

[skoi]

I've heard the Disney is an evil corporation exploiting the workers, despoiling our children's imagination, destroying the environment, ruining our cultural heritage all through my graduate educational career. Oh, and Disney is racist and sexist too. There are people who see everything that doesn't serve their ideological world view as debased and wrong-- whether that view is oriented to the Left or Right, or to a particular religion.

People love to bash Disney because they're such a big target. We hear, "you're going again?" from people who go to the same Jersey shore town every year.

Sorry OP had to deal with this. We homeschool and are between groups as the groups here are either very religious (either Protestant or Muslim and we're Orthodox Christian so don't fit with one, and are unwelcome in the other) or too much like OP's "friends" so that our materialistic, part-time military family would not be welcome. It's a lot like in-school school, but with a lot more paperwork for the parents.

 

[thelionqueen]

What great support for the OP from all of us Disney Freaks!!

We also go to Disney at least once (usually twice) a year and don't get anything but support from those that love us. The reason is because they know how happy it makes us, gives us time to be together (really together) and makes us smile and that's all that matters to those who really care.

I read the initial post with my mouth hanging open wondering why in the world would someone do something so hurtful and rude...then it occurred to me, they're not Disney people

 

[wulfekamp]

I hate to tell you this but it's not over. Down the road there will be others. Being DVC we love to talk disney. Even our true friends look at us sometimes like we have two heads. Most people don't get it. The way I look at it More disney for me. DVC is the best kept secret and lets keep it that way. Dis is the only place you will ever truly be understood.

 

[Brancaneve]

I kept suggesting to my co worker that he take his son to DL and he kept turning me down without saying so. One day he finally couldn't keep it in and said that Walt Disney was a freemason, therefore against Catholicism(he's Catholic) and for that reason he will not go.

O.K...but I can't tell how many times I have used examples from classic Disney movies to teach my kids about character and morals. It seems that Disney fans are family oriented people and the OP has a great philosophy on life.

The best thing the OP can do is just take a break from that group of friends for a little while. All conflicts diminish with time. Sorry that had to happen to you. When you are such a fan, comments like that are insulting!

 

[TiszBear]

I have learned that there are 2 kinds of people in this world, those that don't get Disney and those that do. I fall in the the those that do and I am proud of it.

You will never try to get those who don't get it to understand Disney or your love of Disney. It take too much energy.

I have given up long ago to try and have family and friends understand my love of Disney; some eventually come around but there are those that don't. Tha's ok. So don't be afraid to look at your email, read it and let it go. I know that is easier said then done, and you have to see them on a daily basis so rise above the situation and show them how much "class" you have. That is what my mother always told me, act like a lady and rise above the situation because that will drive them crazy in the end if you don't acknowledge them or the situation. I have 3 co-workers in my office and 1 always gives me a hard time till I gave her a great come back; now she keeps quiet to me when I mention where I am going on vacation.

All that matters is that you and your family are happy with buying into DVC and going to Disney, just remember that you get to go to the happy place at least once a year...well more if you can sneak it in.

Oh let me say this.... Welcome Home and Congratulations on buying DVC.

 

[Tink&PirateMama]

WOW do I love this thread!! I can't tell you how interesting it is- I'm learning a lot!! Thank you all for taking the time to post.

First, I want to let you know the latest. They've both contacted me to let me know nothing was 'personal', and I have no reason to be upset. I knew I was wasting my breath even saying something, when one is delusional, it doesn't suddenly go away when someone says something logical! I'm pretty much dropping out at this point. I have realized that these people are truly NOT my friends, and not worth my energies and time. I asked them to be civil in our group for the children's sake, but that was all, no other contact. I just don't want to waste anymore time on this at all. So that is that. I'm really in a place the last year or so, where I think I am learning more about what I want in my life, and what I don't, and this is something I really don't want- I mean, with friends like that, who needs enemies?? I do think it will be uncomfortable for the first few weeks, but hopefully that will pass.


Next, wow- homeschooling! Well, I was TOTALLY one of those people that was against homeschooling ( I knew a really weird boy that homeschooled when I was a kid- so that was my only exposure). However, when my kids were in preschool, I saw things I wasn't happy with, and I started doing research. And I realized this could actually be a really cool thing for us. I swear whenever I have said I didn't like something, in my life I've always ended up doing it! I actually write in 'socialization, community, life skills, and health (which includes a lot of play at this age!), in our planning every other week. I feel socialization is important, along with all sorts of other skills... but it's been really easy for my kids to get that. Between ballet, karate, art class, swim lessons, library story time, sports, childcare at the gym, playdates, volunteering, homeschool meetings, scouts, church, and living in a downtown community where we know our neighbors and shop keepers- it's just a part of life! (by the way we don't have all that going on every week, LOL! We'd be run ragged!).

I LOVE homeschooling. I feel SOOO grateful we are able to do this, it really feels like a gift. Because my husband works from home, we can trade off on different subjects and activities, and get breaks, and also have lots of time as a family. And like someone said, being able to go to disney and travel (we go north to a cabin very regularly), is such a bonus! I am looking forward to traveling all over and experiencing their education together.

That being said- I've never said we'd do it forever- we'd take it a year at a time, and do what seemed best for our kids, each of them individually. I think every situation is different, and every child's needs are different, and every families. It's definitely not for everyone, and I don't like to say what is best for myself in the future, let alone anyone else's family. We have a great school system here, and my decision to homeschool has nothing to do with that- I think it's a fine choice, and can say nothing bad about the people working in it, or that have their children in the schools.

There are a lot of really cool homeschoolers out there, and I think it's become a lot more 'mainstream' over the years for a lot of reasons. Our children's babysitter (a local college student) when she first started with us, was weirded out at first because we homeschooled. After she'd been here a few months, she started talking to me about it- and she was like, your kids are SO cool- they are so tolerant and open of people and situations (I guess they were telling her something when she didn't do it well, that's ok, everyone has different talents and does different things well, you're ok! LOL! ). Being with the kids every week really changed her perception of homeschooling and we talked a long time about our reasons for it. She had originally thought it was people just hiding from society doing it, but now she's a big supporter of it based on her experiences with our family!

 

[Tink&PirateMama]

Ok, and I just have to add...

I don't want to derail this thread, but one last funny anecdote...

My best friends have been home schooling their kids. When they first decided to home school, a mutual friend of ours told them that home school kids "don't get proper socialization", and that they turn out "weird" and "freaky" because of this. She went on to say that if my best friends decided to endanger their kids' social skills by home schooling them, that she would cut off all communication with my friends in protest.

The funny thing is, this "friend" was (IMHO) one of the more socially mal-adjusted people I knew...if she were a bit more insightful, she might have considered her own personality as an indictment on the public school system!

PS She *did* cut off all communication, to the relief of my best friends.

What great support for the OP from all of us Disney Freaks!!

YES! I am SO thankful to all of you for all of the support, advice, and opinions! Thank you so much!!

 

[KPH500]

I like Disney because of the closeness my family has experienced while there. When we are home we are all going in different directions, but at WDW we do absolutely everything together.

I couldn't agree with you more! We are a pretty close family but we run at 100 miles per hour between the kids, the dogs, the house, the yard, jobs, school, sports, etc etc we rarely slow down to just be a family. When we're at WDW do nothing but spend quality time together just being silly and being a family. Ah, good times!

And look at it this way, how long would the stand by lines be if EVERYONE loved Disney like we do? hahaha

 

[wideeyedwonder]

They think disney is terrible, for it's materialism, for how it's 'ruined' all great literature, etc..

This is such an interesting thread on so many levels!

A thought came to me...Disney (the company and the creative people that have worked for it) may have "ruined" great literature (and that point is debatable!), but they have CREATED great works as well. And by great works, I mean works that reintroduce and reinforce valuable life lessons in an entertaining and polished way.

I can't tell you how many times I've referenced "The Jungle Book" ("look for the simple pleasures in life"), "Lilo and Stitch" ("family" means "no one gets left behind" and "you are who you *choose* to be"), "Wall-E" ("take care of your planet", "never give up", "don't simply take the easy way out"), etc. etc. etc., when talking to my kids about everyday situations.

It's totally ridiculous how often I AND MY KIDS bring up Disney movies to illustrate simple life lessons. Sure, they may be "hokey" and "sugar sweet" in many cases, but that doesn't detract from thought and craftsmanship that went into them. Thumbs up to Disney in that respect!

 

[Lindabelle]

Wow! Who knew the DIS has so many homeschoolers! I am so sorry your homeschool group treated you that way. We are also a homeschool family DS 18, DD 17, and DD 13. We just bought DVC this past November. It sure took us long enough. We have been to Florida so many times in the past but stayed on Disney property for the first time this year. WOW! I do believe that Disney is the happiest place on Earth. I also feel it is impossible to explain the magic to anyone who hasn't been there. Also, certain people are just born without a love of fun and don't have an active imagination. To someone like this, they would only see what they wanted and not experience the magic. I imagine in that case, someone like that would never enjoy Disney! My husband and I usually only talk about our DVC with people we know are Disney fans. Even though you have a common bond of homeschooling with your group, sometimes that is the extent of the bond. Enjoy all the times you get to go on wonderful, fun filled DVC trips while everyone else is in school. (Low season, low points!)

 

[nickspace]

We have found that people who have never been to Disney do not understand how wonderful and big the place is. They think its just an amusement park and do not understand the scope to the operation. I have to say that the first time I visited I was shocked at the sheer size of Disney.

We enjoy Disney/DVC but have learned not to talk about it with others because they don't understand.

 

[permavac]

...I'm really in a place the last year or so, where I think I am learning more about what I want in my life, and what I don't, and this is something I really don't want- I mean, with friends like that, who needs enemies?? I do think it will be uncomfortable for the first few weeks, but hopefully that will pass...

Good for you! You know, a lot of people actually go through what you've just experienced (whether with family or friends) and they don't have the personal confidence to stand up for themselves. What's more, they'll continue to allow these horribly judgmental people to bring further disruption and misery to their lives by continuing a relationship with them I think you are lucky to be who you are. I call it "enlightenment" and your ex "friends" certainly don't seem to have it! It will be a little uncomfortable for the first few weeks but you can steel yourself with the knowledge that they are 100% wrong and you don't have to socialize with them any longer Ironic - it sounds like you've experienced many joys with homeschooling, but it seems both public ed and homeschooling have their bullies

Terri

 

[culli]

First, I want to let you know the latest. They've both contacted me to let me know nothing was 'personal', and I have no reason to be upset. I knew I was wasting my breath even saying something, when one is delusional, it doesn't suddenly go away when someone says something logical! I'm pretty much dropping out at this point. I have realized that these people are truly NOT my friends, and not worth my energies and time. I asked them to be civil in our group for the children's sake, but that was all, no other contact. I just don't want to waste anymore time on this at all. So that is that. I'm really in a place the last year or so, where I think I am learning more about what I want in my life, and what I don't, and this is something I really don't want- I mean, with friends like that, who needs enemies?? I do think it will be uncomfortable for the first few weeks, but hopefully that will pass.

Remember you can’t rationalize an irrational act

 

[KiminChicago]

In our case, it's my dad. DH and I have learned not to say anything about our vacations around him because it's always "there's a lot more to this country than Disney you know." But it's kind of like one of the other mothers on our Little League team said last year, "I know there are other places to go and see, but every time I think about where we had the most fun, we end up back at Disney."

Now that the kids are getting older, we'll probably vacation in a lot more different places, but we have so many great family memories from WDW.

What's really exciting for me is that my DSis, DBIL and their two little girls are coming to WDW with us in the fall. Right now my DSis is thinking that WDW will be just another amusement park, and she's never been a real amusement park person. I'm hopeful that after this trip, there will be at least one other member of my family that understands why we love Disney so much.