Duggars Expecting

[princessmom29]

I'm sure she is talking about it as a toddler on the blanket. What kind of BABY would be able to not do something because someone else got in trouble? I'm pretty sure she realizes that babies won't not do something because someone else was disciplined. LOL. I don't think she spanks babies. I'm thinking it starts more around 18 months and up. She uses blanket training until they are doing schoolwork so it isn't so crazy to think that she was talking about spanking being for her toddlers on the blanket and not her infants.

The literature form the quiverfull web site suggests starting as soon as a baby is able to crawl. I read the article last time this came up.

Okay, my kids are cleaning so I had time to look it up. The book specifically states "toddlers" and it says she started with the twin boys at 17 months. She trained Joy-Anna at 31 months! So hardly babies. LOL

I read it to say they had completed training by that time not started. Aevery one defines toddelrs differently. My dd was walking at 10 months, so at that point to most people she was a toddler. I don't think that it would have been ok to spank her for leaving a blanket at that age. She was not capable of understanding why I was doing it. Anyway, that tpe of training would be pretty useless with an almost three year old, and it would have to be a pretty big blanket! At that point they are capable of following simple instructions. Why START blanket training at a ponit where they will not need it for much longer if at all. That would be completely contridictory to only using it untill they are able to do school work. A three year old is capable of some basic school work for at least part of the day, so what would be the point? My DD was in half day preschool at 31 months and very well behaved without being confined to a blanket. I could say sit right here and play while Mommy makes dinner and she would do in no problem.

 

[Tiffany_PartyOf7]

The process takes only a few weeks. And trust me, my 4 yr old is fine on her blanket She says she didn't even find out about blanket training until the twins were toddlers. There are many times when homeschooling and toddlers just don't mesh. My 4 yr old is now beginning to be included in our schooling but some things are just above her head. And there is no way my 3 yr old is ready to sit at the table for an hr or so a day listening to things he doesn't understand.

 

[princessmom29]

The process takes only a few weeks. And trust me, my 4 yr old is fine on her blanket She says she didn't even find out about blanket training until the twins were toddlers. There are many times when homeschooling and toddlers just don't mesh. My 4 yr old is now beginning to be included in our schooling but some things are just above her head. And there is no way my 3 yr old is ready to sit at the table for an hr or so a day listening to things he doesn't understand.

hence the reason not to homeschool! It is not possible to attend to eveyone's needs at once and have everyone getting what they need when there are so many different ages and stages involved. Can you magine having 12-15 at once all in different grades? I am not trying to start a homeschool debate, but in my mind homeschooling is NOT a justification for blanket training. I feel it is not ok and it is cruel to do that to a child.

 

[Tiffany_PartyOf7]

hence the reason not to homeschool! It is not possible to attend to eveyone's needs at once and have everyone getting what they need when there are so many different ages and stages involved. Can you magine having 12-15 at once all in different grades? I am not trying to start a homeschool debate, but in my mind homeschooling is NOT a justification for blanket training. I feel it is not ok and it is cruel to do that to a child.

I can't imagine putting my children into a school - to me, that is torture. LOL. So to each their own. There are many ways to blanket train and unless you know the exact way each person is doing it you cannot condemn it. Same goes for homeschooling - unit studies are great! Also, each child can do independent work on their own level.

 

[princessmom29]

I can't imagine putting my children into a school - to me, that is torture. LOL. So to each their own. There are many ways to blanket train and unless you know the exact way each person is doing it you cannot condemn it. Same goes for homeschooling - unit studies are great! Also, each child can do independent work on their own level.

Why is school totrure??? I LOVED school as a child and felt deprived when I didn't get to go. I literally HATED to miss. My DD is the same way. Loves her school. Loves to learn. Loves her friends. Did you have a bad experience with school as a child?

 

[sl_underwood]

As a homeschooling parent, I find it quite easy to meet all three of my childrens needs, even though they range from 16-6. Each gets far more one on one time than they ever would in a classroom setting.

As for the Duggars, if they truly discipline the way many are stating, I feel very sorry for both them and their children. As both a foster and adoptive parent, we have had as many as 8 children in our home at one time and we were able to teach each of these children appropriate behavior through positive discipline and modeling. I truly believe the only thing hitting a child accomplishes is fear of the parent. I would never want that type of relationship with my child.

 

[Tiffany_PartyOf7]

Nope, I've attended public and private schools. I was also homeschooled. I love homeschooling. My son loves homeschooling. He plays with his friends daily. He learns at his pace and is miles ahead of the kids in our neighborhood who go to public and private schools. He doesn't have to learn to the lowest level in the class. If he finishes his work in 2 hrs, he can play the rest of the day or choose to do extra worksheets. He loves to learn and the 4 months he spent in a public school drove him insane! He was constantly bored and he was getting in trouble because he was done with his work and had nothing to do. I was the same way. Schools don't offer what is right for our family. I was a social butterfly as a child so I enjoyed going to school but after I finished my work I was bored. They eventually put me into gifted classes to keep me from getting into trouble talking. LOL. So homeschooling is right for our family and public/private schools would be torture for my children. Each family is different and we all do what works for our family.

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

It's one thing to discuss blanket training...and quite another to claim that the Duggars use it (hitting infants with switches and all) as fact. Yes they said they use blanket training, and also spanking. While neither are things I necessarily agree with, I would not attack the family based on what I've read online. I know of Gothard and his methods, yet I am of the opinion that whatever the Duggars do is not anything near what he recommends. The kids seem to be loving, happy, etc. Yes, there are things they believe that I do not agree with, but I see happy kids that are well taken care of. I see much worse in many of the kids I teach.

 

[rjthkids]

Homeschooling is not an issue here. I manage to homeschool my children (about to have #5) with ease. Blanket training and switching/spanking are also completely un-needed. I have never once spanked a child of mine, switched a child of mine, and positive discipline has enabled us to have a relatively peaceful home where every one can learn what they need to and toddlers are able to explore and get their needs met as well, without the Gothard measures.


The issue IMO, is the discipline. FSU, you can believe that they don't follow a majority of Gothard's teaching. You have no more proof of that than I have proof that they follow him to the letter. Part of being deeply involved with Gothard teaching means being *very* careful about who knows about it, and what they know. Gothard is NOT advocating that his followers go around telling everyone they switch infants. In fact he makes a very big point to make sure that they do NOT let that information be known. The fact that the Duggars are willing to go through the expense and time of traveling to the ATI conference on a regular basis tells me they are not just middling followers; knowing Gothard culture that is a big clue that they indeed are pretty passionate followers of ATI.

But no matter what, they'll never advertise exactly *what* they do, and they certainly won't volunteer information that puts them in CPS danger, which Gothard routinely espouses. But just because they don't tell you they don't switch their infants doesn't mean they don't. When you sit in a Gothard conference and go to a church with a heavy Gothard presence you know that switching infants is a routine matter of discipline in these circles. It just is. The Duggars would *never* *ever* *ever* disclose this information, any more than they would spank any one of their children in front of a TLC camera.

So, at the end of the day, we'll never get a confession. If that means people want to believe they're innocent in absence of a confession, that's fine. I believe it is more than reasonable to go on the presumption that given theological underpinnings and the teachings of the man they have followed for decades and whose conferences they attend on a regular basis, that they indeed follow his parenting methods that include a very punitive treatment of young children. I believe it is more than reasonable and it is more likely than the thought that they've been willing to follow the vast majority of this man's teachings for this many years but, but somehow have chosen a completely different method of discipline.

It doesn't make them evil people either way. And it doesn't mean they don't love their children, or that their children aren't well behaved. I just reject the whole premise as completely unnecessary and downright harmful to children.

 

[rjthkids]

Oh, and being happy doesn't mean the absence of punitive discipline techniques. In fact, most punitive Christian circles stress being "sweet" natured. A child can be routinely spanked "until they're sweet". Having a bad attitude, looking unhappy, throwing a tantrum, having an attitude, getting angry--- all of those are grounds for "correction". One is supposed to be pleasant, calm, and good-natured at all times as the appropriate Biblical attitude of the heart.

 

[mom of princessx2]

Gee, I thought this was going to be a thread about a happily married couple expecting a baby!!! Instead it has turned into a thread with alot of negativity regarding a family we don't even know. Josh and Anna are happily married, financialy secure, in their early 20's and ready for a family. I don't know see the problem.
As far as "taking a switch" to their kids, I don't believe it. Their kids are not fearful of them in anyway and if you watch the show you can certainly see the boys running crazy through the house at times.

 

[mom of princessx2]

The issue IMO, is the discipline.

The issue was "The Duggars are having a grandchild" It became about homeschooling as well as discipline.

 

[rjthkids]

Gee, I thought this was going to be a thread about a happily married couple expecting a baby!!! Instead it has turned into a thread with alot of negativity regarding a family we don't even know. Josh and Anna are happily married, financialy secure, in their early 20's and ready for a family. I don't know see the problem.
As far as "taking a switch" to their kids, I don't believe it. Their kids are not fearful of them in anyway and if you watch the show you can certainly see the boys running crazy through the house at times.

You can choose to believe what you want. Your comments make it clear that you are not familiar with punitive Christian circles. Children who are raised with very harsh punitive discipline a la Gothard, Peal, Tripp and the like do not walk around in active fear of their parents. In fact, 99% of families that switch their infants end up with families that look just like the Duggars. I know this from personal experience. And it's not about "running crazy" it is about obedience to your parents at all times, when obedience is required of you. Running around your house and being rambunctious has nothing to do with it. In fact, boys are encouraged to be very active because it is considered part of a man's natural "bent" to be that way.

The fact of the matter is they openly avow they follow Bill Gothard. They use his ATI homeschooling program and they attend his conferences. Read Bill Gothard and his parenting philosophy. Get some of his books and see what he has to say about how one should parent.

What you choose to believe is up to you, but just because a kid looks happy and runs through his house has absolutely nothing to do with how he is disciplined.

And FTR, I haven't said anything negative about the Duggars. I haven't called them names or made any comments beyond what is known for a fact (they follow Bill Gothard, blanket train, and attend ATI conferences and have so for decades) and what can be surmised from those things when one is very familiar with Bill Gothard, blanket training and ATI.

ETA: The flip side of the harsh discipline coin is also a very great focus on relationship with their children. I think people get the image of those who are willing to switch an infant as this evil, angry parent who is constantly beating their kids. That couldn't be further from the truth. Those who follow principles that allow for the switching of infants and young toddlers likewise focus a great deal on character building, training, teaching, and mentoring their children. "Correction" of that degree is saved for those times in which a child is considered to be in direct disobedience. The consequences of that are swift and severe, but beyond that there is a great focus on relationship building within the absolute, concrete barriers of an authority hierarchy.

 

[mom of princessx2]

You can choose to believe what you want. Your comments make it clear that you are not familiar with punitive Christian circles. Children who are raised with very harsh punitive discipline a la Gothard, Peal, Tripp and the like do not walk around in active fear of their parents. In fact, 99% of families that switch their infants end up with families that look just like the Duggars. I know this from personal experience. And it's not about "running crazy" it is about obedience to your parents at all times, when obedience is required of you. Running around your house and being rambunctious has nothing to do with it. In fact, boys are encouraged to be very active because it is considered part of a man's natural "bent" to be that way.

The fact of the matter is they openly avow they follow Bill Gothard. They use his ATI homeschooling program and they attend his conferences. Read Bill Gothard and his parenting philosophy. Get some of his books and see what he has to say about how one should parent.

What you choose to believe is up to you, but just because a kid looks happy and runs through his house has absolutely nothing to do with how he is disciplined.

And FTR, I haven't said anything negative about the Duggars. I haven't called them names or made any comments beyond what is known for a fact (they follow Bill Gothard, blanket train, and attend ATI conferences and have so for decades) and what can be surmised from those things when one is very familiar with Bill Gothard, blanket training and ATI.

ETA: The flip side of the harsh discipline coin is also a very great focus on relationship with their children. I think people get the image of those who are willing to switch an infant as this evil, angry parent who is constantly beating their kids. That couldn't be further from the truth. Those who follow principles that allow for the switching of infants and young toddlers likewise focus a great deal on character building, training, teaching, and mentoring their children. "Correction" of that degree is saved for those times in which a child is considered to be in direct disobedience. The consequences of that are swift and severe, but beyond that there is a great focus on relationship building within the absolute, concrete barriers of an authority hierarchy.

Nor do I care to become familar with it. It is not how I raise my children. Just saying, it has nothing to do with the thread topic. Start a thread on discipline.

 

[billwendy]

From what I understand they sit the baby on the blanket and when the baby tries to move they scream and holler at it and hit it with a switch, do this repeatedly until baby doesn't move. Once that is accomplished they leave the room and peek around the corner and do the same thing until eventually, no matter what, the baby never leaves the blanket.

Not that I believe in it - but this is a direct quote from the link - it doent mention switching or hitting a baby at all!! Nor does it mention hollaring!!

This concept involves placing your baby or toddler on his/her favorite blanket, explaining to the best of their understanding that they must stay on their blanket, and then demonstrating the consequences of getting off the blanket with a small rod or switch. Simply switch the floor or carpet all around the outside edges of the blanket and firmly but sweetly say, "No, No! Don't touch!"

Actually, do you guys hear the way some people treat their kids at the malls, in the parking lots etc - they scream at them, swear at them, whack them - it just breaks my heart! Its way more abusive then sitting your kid on a blanket and telling them no no.....

 

[Goofy'slady]

Best of luck to Josh and Anna! Babies are blessings from God and gifts to all who love them.

I love the Duggars and enjoy watching the show my husband playfully calls "18 million da*n kids and counting".

T.

 

[princessmom29]

Not that I believe in it - but this is a direct quote from the link - it doent mention switching or hitting a baby at all!! Nor does it mention hollaring!!

This concept involves placing your baby or toddler on his/her favorite blanket, explaining to the best of their understanding that they must stay on their blanket, and then demonstrating the consequences of getting off the blanket with a small rod or switch. Simply switch the floor or carpet all around the outside edges of the blanket and firmly but sweetly say, "No, No! Don't touch!"

Actually, do you guys hear the way some people treat their kids at the malls, in the parking lots etc - they scream at them, swear at them, whack them - it just breaks my heart! Its way more abusive then sitting your kid on a blanket and telling them no no.....

There would be no point in switching the floor if the baby did not know that it would be them getting the switch next if they got off. I mean really, come on it even says that you are demonstrating the consequences of getting of the blanket. The consequences being getting switched!They would have to be willing to follow through and actully switch the baby when it moved from the blanket for this to work at all. Why have aswitch it you are never going to use it? All that would teach the baby is that you are not willing to follow through with the threat. They are "saying it without actually saying it" in this instance. the implication form reading that has to be that the consequences for moving from the blakent are getting hit.

 

[princessmom29]

Gee, I thought this was going to be a thread about a happily married couple expecting a baby!!! Instead it has turned into a thread with alot of negativity regarding a family we don't even know. Josh and Anna are happily married, financialy secure, in their early 20's and ready for a family. I don't know see the problem.
As far as "taking a switch" to their kids, I don't believe it. Their kids are not fearful of them in anyway and if you watch the show you can certainly see the boys running crazy through the house at times.

I would not presume to assume they are happily married. I don't think they really even knew each other when they got married. Pretty shaky foundation to build on and bring kid into it you ask me. I feel like it is ridicluous that they were pushed into an arranged marriage and to start popping out kids right away, and I think it is all tied up in the form of discipline used in that household. It requires absolute compliance without question or complaint to whatever thay are told to do, and does not permit complaining or dissent of any form. They all appear so happy because if they don't they are punished. This is the environment these two were raised in so they have no capacity to reason out for themselves if this is the course of action they truly choose b/c they have never in their lives been able to make choices for themselves. Yes on the outside we see the happy smiling faces, but from what i have read about ther methodology they follow I have to wonder what is lying underneath. I think it is one of 2 things. The kids will eventually run far. far away or they have been so brainwashed into submissin that they will blindly follow without question eveything they are told to do.

 

[Goofy'slady]

I've watched the Duggar's show since it's been on TLC and while I might have missed one or two episodes I don't recall seeing the marriage between Josh and Anna being arranged. Josh was the one who pursued Anna. He did ask for both heads of houses for their blessing; his father's and Anna's but arranged is a bit of a stretch.

T.

 

[MoniqueU]

I have long thought this family sick and twisted but the info on the blanket training is just too much for me. I can't see how anyone would think these people are good parents even without that little bit of info.