Duggar Disturbing photo?

[J3nn78]

I think the photos are beautiful. My sister lost her little boy at 22 weeks. We have tons of pictures of him. My sister also then had his tiny footprints tattooed on her chest.

I think it is a great reminder that it is indeed a baby and not just a fetus. Too many people do not realize how developed babies are throughout the pregnancy.

 

[WhateverLolaWants]

I wasn't disturbed by the photos, but regardless I cannot fault the Duggars. Americans didn't wake up with the pamphlets in their mailboxes and a quick visit to Cousin Amy's Facebook shows a comment from someone saying she hopes she didn't get in trouble for posting without Jim-Bob and Michelle's permission. That girl seems to seek out attention at her family's expense (heck, her last name isn't even Duggar)!

 

[rascalmom]

I'm not a Duggar fan, but their family has a right to their own choices and their own lifestyle. I certainly defend their right to deal with their grieving process in whatever way helps them.

But boy - I did find the photos disturbing. Don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. Nothing wrong with them showing them at the memorial; not even anything wrong with the family releasing them if they choose to do so.

They disturbed me because I lost a baby at 20 weeks. It has been a long time, my miscarriage was in 1999, but those photos stirred up all kinds of emotions in me. I was medically given no choice but to do a D&C at the time - and now I feel very sad all over again.

 

[coolbeans]

I had not seen the pics till I saw this thread, and I admit that I googled them to see. And I can honestly say, in all my years and after two beautiful children and one miscarraige, I found them to be beautiful... She had a baby, she is mourning the loss of a baby.
(and on another honest note, seeing a baby via ultrasound at 20 weeks and seeing those feet and tiny hands makes me realize that at 20 weeks it's a baby! sorry, may sound silly but it's just me)

 

[Ciciwoowoo]

I used to be very disturbed by the practice. I remember the first time I got a birth/death notice from a friend whose baby had died during birth. It was just... disturbing.

I have since read a bit about the practice and am now far more understanding. These parents do not have a picture of their child. These pictures are the only pictures the parents will ever have of their angels. How can you deny the parents this treasured memory?

I may not be a Duggar fan, but I am so very sorry for the family's loss. I wish them well in the future, and hope they decide to try and enjoy their children and grandbabies instead of creating more children in the future.

 

[Cantw8]

I hate that the Duggars make women look like all they are good for is reproduction. Good for them, have all the kids you want and I'm sorry they lost one but I think they set women back 100 years

 

[lucas]

I wasn't disturbed by the photos, but regardless I cannot fault the Duggars. Americans didn't wake up with the pamphlets in their mailboxes and a quick visit to Cousin Amy's Facebook shows a comment from someone saying she hopes she didn't get in trouble for posting without Jim-Bob and Michelle's permission. That girl seems to seek out attention at her family's expense (heck, her last name isn't even Duggar)!

I just Googled "Duggar's cousin Amy" and found this:
http://amyduggar.com/

Seems she goes by the professional name Amy Duggar and is a singer and tv personality. Who knew?!

 

[amyren]

I’m not a huge fan but I definitely feel for Michelle.
The loss of a baby either stillborn or miscarriage is devastating… no matter how many kids you have. Personally I wouldn’t have photographed the baby but I’m not quick to judge how others grieve.

I'm not that surprised that the pic was leaked by "cousin Amy". She drives me crazy. Why is she on the show?!?!

 

[Aisling]

I found the photos disturbing, but I'm not sure why. The one with (I'm assuming) Jim-Bob holding the tiny feet disturbs me more than the one with the little hand on Michelle's hand.

I'm not wild about the name either. I think the name was chosen for it's "production value" in making a statement. The word jubilee itself means "a time or season for rejoicing" and is a form of the word "jubilation" which is used often in Christianity. "Shalom" is a greeting or farewell and also means "peace". In short, the name wraps up their religious convictions in one tidy package. I wonder if they would have used the name is she hadn't miscarried.

Ok, this post really got to me. When I heard the name, I thought it was a beautiful name, Jubilee Shalom. Now I feel a little creeped out by the name, as if the Duggars have to put a "reason" on this baby as shown through her name. I feel it more dignified for this baby to have a normal name and a normal memorial, and not be used by her parents to deliver a message.

Hmmm, I'm not liking J-B and M right now.

 

[handinpocket]

The pictures should have been kept private, for the family, imo. It just seems wrong to circulate these photos to the general public, seems to me they are trying to make a statement, leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I found the photos disturbing, but I'm not sure why. The one with (I'm assuming) Jim-Bob holding the tiny feet disturbs me more than the one with the little hand on Michelle's hand.







Ok, this post really got to me. When I heard the name, I thought it was a beautiful name, Jubilee Shalom. Now I feel a little creeped out by the name, as if the Duggars have to put a "reason" on this baby as shown through her name. I feel it more dignified for this baby to have a normal name and a normal memorial, and not be used by her parents to deliver a message.

Hmmm, I'm not liking J-B and M right now.

Jubilee was on the short list as a name for Jordyn-Grace (born in 2008). Shalom could also refer to their recent Israel trip.

 

[robinb]

Ok, this post really got to me. When I heard the name, I thought it was a beautiful name, Jubilee Shalom. Now I feel a little creeped out by the name, as if the Duggars have to put a "reason" on this baby as shown through her name. I feel it more dignified for this baby to have a normal name and a normal memorial, and not be used by her parents to deliver a message.

Hmmm, I'm not liking J-B and M right now.

Just to be clear, that was my own musings and NOT what the Duggars said.

 

[MemoryMakers2669]

I think it was beautiful and didn't bother me one bit. I have seen 3 babies in my life, miscarried...pictures of them that is. Two were full term. One was 12 weeks, my SILs, and "it", as they never said if it was a boy or girl, was around 6 ounces. It was very disturbing. The most disturbing part....they sent the picture out to everyone, in THEIR CHRISTMAS CARD!!!!!

 

[Aisling]

Just to be clear, that was my own musings and NOT what the Duggars said.

Well, I agree with what you said. I just hadn't thought of it before I read your post.


And when I said I'm not liking Mr and Mrs Duggar, I don't mean they deserve not to be liked, it's just that this sad time in their lives and how they're handling it seems to me that it's just another way to get their Christian message out, which I find distasteful, and I'm a religious Christian.

I feel sure, after this, that they're nice ,warped people.

 

[Aisling]

Jubilee was on the short list as a name for Jordyn-Grace (born in 2008). Shalom could also refer to their recent Israel trip.

The names are beautiful, but given to a baby that dies before it was born alive, those names take on a new meaning for me, an agenda meaning. I feel like they're using her for preaching fodder, not honoring their precious little girl who died.

But if this is what they interpret God to be telling them to do, I step back and let it be without any more criticism. I respect their rights, but I just don't like the feeling I get when I see how they've made their daughter out to be a rejoicing come for a brief moment to say Shalom and then shalome as she goes back into the spirit world. It's like they believe they have a special saint to come give them a message to show that babies are people, too, Message received to become part of their evangelizing, and baby leaves. Shalom.

Who knows, maybe their right. But I'm a catholic Christian and we've never been taught to believe what they believe about such things.

That said, God watch over their family so Michelle won't die by misinterpreting your plan for her.

 

[QVCshopper]

A former coworker lost her baby at birth. She later brought in pictures of the girl after she passed. It was literally one of the most saddest things I've experienced. The coworker had such hate against the doctor and I'll never forget the photos or what she said. Didn't even know her that well either, but she was in such pain.

 

[snowy76]

I thought the picture was beautiful. My DS (who is now 5) was born at 30 weeks and we have a similar picture of him grasping DH's finger - such a tiny hand. I still look at full-term newborns and think they're gargantuan because mine was soooo small. I can totally understand wanting an image of the baby other than the one you have in your mind - especially when you know you'll never see that child again.

FWIW though, what I *have* always thought was creepy was the open casket at calling hours or funerals. For me it's the way people gather and chitchat near the deceased - like they're part of the decorations. THAT is odd to me.

 

[Lady V]

I think there is no way to understand the grief that comes when losing a child unless you have been there yourself. If I lost a child I would want pictures as well even if it took a long time to look at them because there would never be another chance to take them. With all of my pregnancies I loved them and would have given my life for them from THE MOMENT I knew of them. That beautiful child was wanted and loved and they are correct--even the smallest feet DO leave a footprint! Look at the impact they have already had! My heart aches for them and I wish them nothing but peace. (and I thought the pictures were beautiful-so perfect and so loved and so wanted)

 

[princessmom29]

I found the photos disturbing, but I'm not sure why. The one with (I'm assuming) Jim-Bob holding the tiny feet disturbs me more than the one with the little hand on Michelle's hand.
.

Me too, and I think it is becuase the ends of the feet are black. They are either showing evinence of poor blood supply in utero or the beginnings of necrosis. Either way, it really bothered me.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I did not find the picture of the precious babies feet disturbing.

I did however find it disturbing that there was a Group photo of the entire family all smiles and appearing joyous at being photographed...yet again
It wasnt a party