Driving in the snow...

[Darsa]

This weekend is the family Christmas party for my DH's side of the family. We're supposed to go up on Thursday evening (after I get out of work) and stay until Saturday. As I'm sure a lot of you know, we live in Maine and there's a HECK of a big ol' storm coming up starting late Thursday into Friday, with a couple feet of snow, high winds, classic Nor'Easter, lasting right into Sunday night.

My DH is adamant that he is still going up regardless of the weather. I mentioned that we could get stuck up there longer and it doesn't seem to bother him at all. This is probably because he works from home and doesn't have to be home on Monday. DD is supposed to go back to school Monday, and I have to work at 8AM Monday morning.

I have mentioned that the weather may not allow us to go, and he has said that in no uncertain terms that he IS going and that he's taking DD with him, and is annoyed with me for even mentioning not going.

Added to all of this, DH's family is nice enough, but I can't really see myself snowed in with at least 15 people in one small ranch-style house for three days OR MORE, especially since some of them are more... "down to earth", shall we say, and tend to be a bit abrasive, if not outright offensive.

My last concern is my parents, who we live with. My DM is in the midst of liver failure, and my DF has emphysema and COPD, not to mention such advanced scoliosis that he can't stand for more than a minute at a time. If there are any problems there won't be anyone there to help them.

Should I continue my crusade to stay home? Or should I give in and pray that we're not stuck up there longer? I really hate having to be the bad guy in all of this, and that's how I'm being made to feel, but I really don't feel that it makes sense to risk it!

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant; he just came to see me at work and we kinda got into it again, and I'd have to sit here and stew if I didn't let it out somehow!

 

[clovergirl5]

I side with you Darsa. I hate driving in bad weather (all due to family members dying in bad, snowy, icy roads related car accidents). Not worth taking a chance.
If you got there before the bad weather, if you don't get in trouble at work for missing days or dd doesn't get in trouble for missing school, it could be fun being snowed in....but I would make sure I was snowed in, in a hotel and NOT with family! Good luck and drive safely if you do go.

Is it possible to visit family at a later time when there isn't a storm brewing?

 

[Docwoods]

I can't see how your inlaws would in good conscience want you to visit at such an inopportune time.What would your parents do if you couldn't make it back? You are absolutely right about not going-school and job take presidence over a social visit.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I wouldn't drive ANYWHERE on New Year's Eve anyway. I asked my DDs what their plans are, and told them that whatever they are, they're staying put...I don't care where they sleep (well, I do, but...), but I don't want them on the road with all the drunks.

Between that, and snow, and the condition of your parents? No way would I go if I were you, nor would I want my DD on the road. Well, my DH either, but that would be his choice.

 

[minkydog]

If it were me I'd let the DH go to see his parents and take the DD, while I would stay behind to help my parents. No way would I want to risk not being able to get home quickly in case your parents need you. It's not like they can just go run to the store if they run out of milk!

I wouldn't worry too much about the DD being out of school. It's the beginning of the semester--not like she's going to miss the big spelling bee. She would probably LOVE to be snowed in with 15 relatives up in Maine! Not my cuppa tea, nor yours, but I think it would be a nice compromise for you and your hubby.

 

[MELSMICE]

I can certainly understand how you feel. I hate driving in bad weather & I definitely would not want to be stranded with my IL's!

That being said........this is a tough one. I live in an area that predicts storms that never arrive & doesn't predict storms that dump more than a foot of snow in a few hours - which happened on Monday!

You could be arguing with your DH for no reason. You could be ready to leave & there may not be a flake in the air & I would imagine you'd feel horrible for cancelling. Then again, it could be time to leave & there could be a blinding storm that causes your DH to realize you have to cancel or leave in the morning. This is just something you can't control.

I honestly know how you are feeling, but this is important to your DH. Go under the assumption that you are going to the get together. Try to leave work early on Thursday.

Was anyone going to be checking in on your parents for the few days that you will be gone? If they are OK for 2 nights, do you think they'd be OK for an additional one if necessary?

I wouldn't worry about DD missing a day of school if that should happen. I would be a little concerned about work, but some things you just can't control.

My main concern would be driving in the bad weather & until the storm hits (if it does) you can't make a good decision, so I honestly wouldn't continue an argument over something that hasn't happened.

Of course, this is just my opinion. I'd grin & bear it & pray that everything goes as planned. Good luck!

 

[Mermaid02]

I would not risk getting stranded in Northern Maine this weekend. Especially with your parents in the health they are in.

 

[SadieDog]

Things might change, but from what I am reading now, looks like the storm will hold off until late in the day Friday. Is spending 1 night at inlaws an option for you? I don't know how far away they live. Good luck with the storm and hope you don't lose power. I am going to Augusta tomorrow to get plenty of groceries for the weekend and can food in case the power goes out.

 

[anniemae]

Personally, I would not go. It would not feel right to me to leave parents without anyone to help them if they need assitance. Also, I hate to take days off work unless I really need to, or if it is a planned vacation, I would be stressing about missing work and would not be able to enjoy myself.

I would tell DH to go ahead and I would stay home. Depending on how old your DD is, I would let her decide if she wants to go with DH or stay with you. I would not be mad if they went, it is DH family so he may really want to go, and his work would not be impacted, but I would hope he would not be mad at you if you stayed.

 

[My sister's princess]

As you can see I am in Maine as well. We have adjusted some plans due to the storm.

 

[GeorgeG]

You have to go with what feels right... and safe! My wife wanted to go up to New York for Christmas to be with her family so we left the Friday before. We stayed in Lumberland, NC that night and drove straight into that snow storm the next day hitting snow around Richmond, VA and all the way to NY. It was not fun! There is no holiday worth the risk... none!

 

[Darsa]

Sadie, good luck on the groceries; I went last night to stock up for mom and dad and O M G it was insane in there!!

This morning I actually sent my husband a text asking him if it might be possible, since there's a bit of a lull between the first, weaker storm, and the second HUGE storm, if we could sneak home during the lull and spend on night there and go home Friday evening. He replies with "we're doing Christmas on Saturday so I'd rather not. It really wouldn't be any different driving home on Friday than it would be when the storm is ending on Sunday." Except the fact that it's not due to end up there 'til late Sunday night, then we have to wait for the roads to be cleared before we can think about heading home, two hours (in good weather) away! I told him that we would discuss it this afternoon when we're both home, and hopefully come up with something that makes both of us happy. Which usually means him doing what he wants and me backing down and dealing with it. But I don't think so this time, he's just being foolish IMO.

 

[smschex]

What about the rest of his family? Are none of them concerned about driving? Or do they all live in the same area? My mom and dad are always watching the weather to make sure it will be safe travel to get us all in (and out ). Has he talked to any of them about changing the plans?

 

[Mermaid02]

I wouldn't get stuck in the county for love nor money..........

 

[mtdevine615]

Another Mainah here Darsa and for me it would depend if you had a 4x4 if you do then I would go. If not just hunker down. I will tell you that I am the Asst. EMA director for the city and the last report I got at 10:00 seems to be a little better the storm is predicted to be out to sea a little more. If you're going downeast watch out storm totals of 1 - 2 feet.

 

[My sister's princess]

I wouldn't get stuck in the county for love nor money..........

but the sad thing is, not many people here know exactly what "the county" is

 

[puffkin]

As long as I could get there BEFORE the snow started, I personally would go, or at least let DH and DD go. I don't think her missing a day or two of school should be a huge concern if they get stuck up there. I can understand why you would want to stay behind for your parents.

We get the Nor'Easters here too and they can literally change in minutes. It might not be nearly as bad as you think, or it could be way worse. You literally never know, but usually it is less than they predict. Plus, I can only recall one storm in the last 10-15 years were the roads have been impassable after 24-36 hours. Maine gets a lot more snow than we do, so they are even better equipped to deal with it. Usually by the second day the major highways are pretty clear if not completely clear. And honestly, snow isn't bad to drive in....it is the nasty ice storms that are much more problematic.

 

[Phil'sFrontier]

Up here we have no choice but to drive in bad weather. We don't get those big snow falls like you. Only up in the mountains here, it's a dryer climate.
If the DH really insists on going, maybe you could pick up a set of tire chains, or they make a rubber type of 'chain' that helps a lot with traction, and can be used were chains are illegal such as in the city. Also make sure you have a shovel, and a nylon tow strap.

 

[Mermaid02]

but the sad thing is, not many people here know exactly what "the county" is

It's better that way............ went to Limestone to take/pick up my dd to/from the Maine School of Science and Mathematics......... it was like we fell off the face of the earth..........

edited to add: I don't know where Darsa is headed- this is just one place I would NOT head to in Maine with a forecast like we are seeing.

 

[Lionqueen2]

If it were me I'd let the DH go to see his parents and take the DD, while I would stay behind to help my parents. No way would I want to risk not being able to get home quickly in case your parents need you. It's not like they can just go run to the store if they run out of milk!

I wouldn't worry too much about the DD being out of school. It's the beginning of the semester--not like she's going to miss the big spelling bee. She would probably LOVE to be snowed in with 15 relatives up in Maine! Not my cuppa tea, nor yours, but I think it would be a nice compromise for you and your hubby.

This is what I would do!