Drinking while pregnant--- child abuse?

[poohandwendy]

I see your point. For me, the point is, drinking and smoking (unless you are addicted) are recreational activities. It should be a ho-hum decision to leave them behind for a few months for even the chance of a greater good. I could see an outcry if doctors suddenly started saying "breathing oxygen during pregnancy is a no-no - you must all abstain." But drinking? C'mon! If you're that invested in it, you (not the personal you, of course!) should re-examine your motives.

I'm like you. I actually have some skepticism about where the bright line is for drinking=damage to a fetus, but, IMO better safe than sorry. I feel this way because drinking is such a minor part of my life that the decision is no big deal. Same with the current wisdom on sushi and brie. You don't see anyone getting up in arms about "no brie" - why such a strong reaction to "no alcohol?" (Although personally, I'm missing brie more than anything!)

For the record, I judge only myself. Clearly, everyone can do what they want. I just find the vehemence of opinion on this particular issue interesting. I can't help but think it has to do with other motives.

Jane

I think there would be the same discussion if the question was "Coloring your hair during pregnancy=abuse?" (not to start a debate about hair color, just trying to think of something that is a non-necessity)

I think the word abuse always brings strong responses. I don't think that means there are a bunch of alcoholics who binge drank during pregnancy responding. I'd be willing to bet the vast majority of those who responded never had one drink while pregnant. (or at least, once they found out they were pregnant)

I think it definitely has more to do with the mommy-wars than anything. I think people get sick of parental superiority, whether it's aimed at them personally or not. (at least, that is my take on it)

 

[janey99]

"I think the word abuse always brings strong responses. I don't think that means there are a bunch of alcoholics who binge drank during pregnancy responding. I'd be willing to bet the vast majority of those who responded never had one drink while pregnant. (or at least, once they found out they were pregnant)[/QUOTE]" quote from poohnwendy

You may be right - it could be the word. I guess I think about the "optics" of what people align themselves with. I wouldn't take issue with the word "abuse" in this particular matter because the overall matter itself is "loaded" to begin with. I would save my indignation at the use of the word abuse for an issue more mild.

I think your haircolor example is a good one - people might be safer (in the sense that others would be less likely to judge them) protesting the ludicrous nature of calling haircoloring during pregnancy "abuse" because haircoloring in general is not seen to be a hot button issue. KWIM?

Off now to attempt to slough off my 20 hours per day of morning sickness to go pumpkin picking with ds9!

Jane

 

[MAKmom]

Ok, am I gonna be the only one to admit that drinking actually caused my pregnancy (at least one of them)?

Or am I alone on a raft here?

DD 12 was my St. Patricks Day baby born Dec 16th

 

[bettyann29]

I dont think its child abuse.. more on the line of being irresponsible..

 

[DisneyFreak72]

In terms of mommy wars:
Yes. Those who CHOOSE not to fill their fetuses and newborns with alcohol that may damage them are in fact FAR BETTER mothers than those who willfully risk lifelong disability by pouring alcohol into their little developing bodies. Part of being a parent is sacrificing our own wants and needs for the benefit of our kids. Giving up wine and beer and cigarettes for 10 months doesn't seem too much to ask along those lines.

We are so quick not to judge peopel that sometimes we lose sight of what is important. If a person drinks while pregnant, it doesn't make them a bad person. It does mean they have bad judgement. We are so worried about everyone feeling good about their choices, that we fail to hold each other responsible for dangerous choices and help each other see when we could do better.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

I don't see anything wrong with drinking during pregnancy! I did for our two kids and they are fine, and I even drank before and after our six grandkids were born.. of course, I'm a guy!

OK Grumpy, that was funny!

 

[Planogirl]

I didn't drink while pregnant however I don't think it's my place to worry about whether someone is having a glass of wine. Also, I don't agree that we worry too much about judging others so we try not to - I frankly think that the opposite is usually true. There is judgment all over this thread and all over the DIS boards.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Are they wearing seatbelts?

Are you photographing yourself while driving?

Clam down, Close your eyes. Light a candle, Now repeat over and over, "Its on the computer, it dosn't affect me.. Its on the computer, it dosn't affect me...."

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Clam down, Close your eyes. Light a candle, Now repeat over and over, "Its on the computer, it dosn't affect me.. Its on the computer, it dosn't affect me...."

 

[PaulaSB12]

I would have to join the group of posters who feel it is selfish to drink and smoke during pregnancy. In the face of all the evidence, on the spectrum from bad to inconclusive, and none of it frankly good, what's the big deal about abstaining for 9.5 months?

For me, being a responsible grownup is about not necessarily doing every single thing I want to when I want to. As someone who's 9 weeks pregnant right now, after some heartbreaking miscarriages in the very recent past, it seems a small price to pay for a greater chance at a healthier child.

I was born in the late 60's - my mom smoked and drank moderately, because they didn't know any better. I could argue that I am "fine," but would I be "better" if she hadn't indulged? Would I be 5'6" instead of 5'2"? Would I have gotten into Harvard instead of Brown? Would I have had successful fullterm pregnancies rather than the miscarriages I suffered? I'll never know, and some would say it doesn't matter, because there is no argument that I am at least "fine" now, but to me, it seems the right thing to do to incorporate all current knowledge into my thinking to give my unborn baby the best chance possible at being "great" rather than "fine." There are enough things that can go wrong beyond a mother's control, I will keep a handle on as many that I have some control over that I can.

.

Blaming your mother for everything!

Your height would you have been taller, how tall are the people in your family if they are short you have a good chance of being short drinking wouldn't have stopped that
On whether you got into Harvard doesn't that also mean that you had to work hard enough to get the score for it, blaming your mother because you are short and not a genius is rather disrespectful to you mother and rather petty.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Blaming your mother for everything!

Your height would you have been taller, how tall are the people in your family if they are short you have a good chance of being short drinking wouldn't have stopped that
On whether you got into Harvard doesn't that also mean that you had to work hard enough to get the score for it, blaming your mother because you are short and not a genius is rather disrespectful to you mother and rather petty.

I agree, besides EVERYONE knows that all that stuff has to do with when your were born and your astrology sign!

Even someone whose kid has four paws!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I didn't drink while pregnant however I don't think it's my place to worry about whether someone is having a glass of wine. Also, I don't agree that we worry too much about judging others so we try not to - I frankly think that the opposite is usually true. There is judgment all over this thread and all over the DIS boards.

Well I don't worry what others do. BUT- if I was out and I saw you pregnant drinking and smoking then you might as well buy me a black robe and tell Judge Judy to move over. I would be judging because for me this particular topic is something I feel strongly about.

 

[poohandwendy]

In terms of mommy wars:
Yes. Those who CHOOSE not to fill their fetuses and newborns with alcohol that may damage them are in fact FAR BETTER mothers than those who willfully risk lifelong disability by pouring alcohol into their little developing bodies.

Now people are filling their fetuses with alcohol and pour alcohol into their little developing bodies? Are we talking about binge drinkers or the pregnant mother who has a glass of wine to toast the bride and groom? I think there is a big difference.

 

[chobie]

Now people are filling their fetuses with alcohol and pour alcohol into their little developing bodies? Are we talking about binge drinkers or the pregnant mother who has a glass of wine to toast the bride and groom? I think there is a big difference.

You've got to love the hyperbole.

 

[gina2000]

I think there would be the same discussion if the question was "Coloring your hair during pregnancy=abuse?" (not to start a debate about hair color, just trying to think of something that is a non-necessity)

I had one sip of wine and no cigarettes during my pregnancy.

I did, however, color my hair.

I guess I just failed "Perfect Pregnant Mommies 101."

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

You've got to love the hyperbole.

Isn't that just past Ludicris speed when judging someone?

(sorry, I'm love the spaceballs move!)

 

[jenm2878]

My best friend's Dr. told her to have at least a glass of wine a week while pregnant. She was in her last semester of college, she and her DH were in the middle of buying/selling a house, and she had some family issues going on when she was pregnant, so she was incredibly stressed. Her Dr. said that a glass or two of wine a week would relax her more safely then any drug he could give her. He felt her stress would be more damaging to the baby then a couple glasses of wine. Her son was fine, weighed close to 9lbs, and is developing right on schedule.

I have another friend that didn't know she was pregnant until she was 4 1/2 months along. (She was always irregular and it wasn't unusual for her to go a couple of months without a period. What tipped her off was she was maintaining her weight just fine but one week gained 7lbs.) She was a smoker and was drinking up until the point she found out she was pregnant. Her daughter turned out fine too.

I think it's risky to continue on like you're not pregnant, but there are a large number of people that turn out just fine.

 

[poohandwendy]

I had one sip of wine and no cigarettes during my pregnancy.

I did, however, color my hair.

I guess I just failed "Perfect Pregnant Mommies 101."

we must immediately burn you at the stake, sorry.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

I had one sip of wine and no cigarettes during my pregnancy.

I did, however, color my hair.

I guess I just failed "Perfect Pregnant Mommies 101."

Turn yourself in! You must immediately return your hair color to its natural color for a period of five years! (brrrrinnng) Sorry I gotta take this call from DW, Helloo? yes, yes, yes, O.K. WHAT? O.K. goodbye.

Sorry for the intruption, DW says to never mind, It just dosn't matter that you colored your hair!

 

[Planogirl]

Well I don't worry what others do. BUT- if I was out and I saw you pregnant drinking and smoking then you might as well buy me a black robe and tell Judge Judy to move over. I would be judging because for me this particular topic is something I feel strongly about.

Fine, judge away but would you actually DO anything?