Dream, veteran cruiser and 2 big disappointments

[DCLDVC1]

As I said, I have faith, both in my kids, and in kids in general, to find a way.

I agree. Get the helicopter and lawnmower parents out of the way and most kids will adapt just fine.

 

[arlopop]

I agree. Get the helicopter and lawnmower parents out of the way and most kids will adapt just fine.

Thank you, but I don't want this to turn into a "judging" exercise of others. We parent as we all think is best. But I hoped I could alleviate some fears by sharing my experience, and offer some sense of what I've learned by watching my kids and others' kids go about their lives. I have honestly learned more about letting go from them than I suspect they've learned from me.
Kids really are amazing.

 

[michellekcm]

You cannot leave your child in the "open house" area. You have to stay with your child.

I thought you could just leave your child there at Open House without you if you wanted. Your choice that your child now can leave and do whatever they want. You just need to be aware that there is no one on the door watching them, and no one is responsible for them. I could be wrong in that though, as I don't know I've ever seen it written anywhere, maybe I just assumed it.

For those that already give their children check-out privileges for the Club/Lab I guess it's pretty similar anyway? Especially if there's an activity during Open House that the kids want to do and you want to be somewhere else. Although, my recollection is that the Open House activities are usually aimed at younger children so parents can participate with them....

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I thought you could just leave your child there at Open House without you if you wanted. Your choice that your child now can leave and do whatever they want. You just need to be aware that there is no one on the door watching them, and no one is responsible for them. I could be wrong in that though, as I don't know I've ever seen it written anywhere, maybe I just assumed it.

For those that already give their children check-out privileges for the Club/Lab I guess it's pretty similar anyway? Especially if there's an activity during Open House that the kids want to do and you want to be somewhere else. Although, my recollection is that the Open House activities are usually aimed at younger children so parents can participate with them....

No, when a club is in Open House mode, each child must be accompanied by their own personal adult in the club area. The CMs are not watching over them during Open House.

You can leave your child in the secured programming. When Oceaneer's CLUB has Open house, secured programming is available in Oceaneer's LAB. And vice versa. If you sign you child into secured programming during Open House in the "other" club, they cannot go in the other club unless you go with them.

 

[Hundredacre]

I thought you could just leave your child there at Open House without you if you wanted. Your choice that your child now can leave and do whatever they want. You just need to be aware that there is no one on the door watching them, and no one is responsible for them. I could be wrong in that though, as I don't know I've ever seen it written anywhere, maybe I just assumed it.

For those that already give their children check-out privileges for the Club/Lab I guess it's pretty similar anyway? Especially if there's an activity during Open House that the kids want to do and you want to be somewhere else. Although, my recollection is that the Open House activities are usually aimed at younger children so parents can participate with them....

I see what you are saying. I think technically there is supposed to be a parent there, but if you let your child have self check in and out privileges they are probably old enough where no one will say anything.

 

[deanimal]

Another disadvantage I've found with the all ages policy on Disney is how it affects the staff to child ratio. I was actually quite surprised at how many kids there were for each counsellor on Disney. When they're split up they can have the same number of staff, but more of them can focus on the little ones, who may need more security and actually love having an adult's attention. My kids' preschools never had a staff ratio of less than about 1:8 or 1:10. Older kids are usually more used to being in larger groups and often prefer doing their own thing with each other.

 

[Ofinn]

While I agree that combining ages was a product of necessity in that earlier time, there is a growing opinion that multiple ages in classrooms actually is beneficial. Our school district is trying it out with preliminary success. We have high level charter schools with multi grade classrooms that can't meet demand here.

And perhaps (to play the devil's advocate) the reason those 11 year olds don't seem to care is that we don't expect it of them.

On our block we have our three kids, our neighbors on the right have four (15, 14, 12, 8). Neighbors on the left 3 kids (13, 11, 7,) and two houses down 2 kids (6, 4). I have watched as all 12 of them played tag, volleyball or hide and seek, the oldest helping the youngest hide or hit a ball or just teaching, cheering and laughing. I have seen them split up to play with dolls or make super-hero movies in groups that were age-similar. They have done this on their own. They have figured it out. They did not know one another initially but managed to integrate new residents within hours to their group. Are there dust-ups? Sure. Does someone occasionally get banged? Sure (but rarely.) Do they solve their problems with negotiation, collaboration, and empathy by themselves? Almost always. It's how they learn.

As I said, I have faith, both in my kids, and in kids in general, to find a way.

Yes they can play tag and run around, but is a 14 year old going to develop a relationship with a 6 year old. Skype, text, hang out do all the normal things teens do when they socialize with kids their own age. I would hope not. My kids talk daily with kids they have met in the edge from 2 two years ago. 10-12 neighborhood kids hanging out is a little different than the 1200 you'll find on a DCL cruise.

 

[arlopop]

Yes they can play tag and run around, but is a 14 year old going to develop a relationship with a 6 year old. Skype, text, hang out do all the normal things teens do when they socialize with kids their own age. I would hope not. My kids talk daily with kids they have met in the edge from 2 two years ago. 10-12 neighborhood kids hanging out is a little different than the 1200 you'll find on a DCL cruise.

Well we are talking about kids up to 11 in the clubs; not 14. You must have missed when I said that separate clubs for tweens and teens was much more understandable due to their much different interests and levels of maturity.

That said, my kids seem to make great friends wherever they go - neighborhood, school, camp, cruise. Kids can do amazing things if you let them.

 

[Madzac]

On our recent fantasy cruise, there were two or three mornings that were "preschool activities" in the club side for 3-5 yr olds only. They were very strict about it. Older kids had to be in the lab during these 2 or 3 hours. I know this because my DD5 is extremely shy and wanted her 8 yo brother around and they would not let him in the club during this time with her. I thought it was a great idea for the little ones, I just wish my DD wouldnt have been so afraid. But its just the type of kid she is.

 

[Ofinn]

I agree. Get the helicopter and lawnmower parents out of the way and most kids will adapt just fine.

I know what a helicopter parent is, but I've never heard of the lawnmower parent LOL. I know I'm not a helicopter parent, and I sure hope I'm not a lawn mower it sounds painful.

 

[TestingH2O]

I know what a helicopter parent is, but I've never heard of the lawnmower parent LOL. I know I'm not a helicopter parent, and I sure hope I'm not a lawn mower it sounds painful.

Lawnmowers are the ones who smooth the path for the kids rather than letting their kids figure it out. Got a bad test grade? Parents contact teacher to talk about it rather than the student meeting to see what went wrong. Didn't make varsity as a freshman? Parents rage at the coach and beg for a spot rather than the kid finding out what skills to focus on during the year on JV. Arguably this is more common these days and what contributes to parenting books now stretching through kids in their 20's and college kids who can't talk to adults or pick a grad school on their own.

 

[Ofinn]

Lawnmowers are the ones who smooth the path for the kids rather than letting their kids figure it out. Got a bad test grade? Parents contact teacher to talk about it rather than the student meeting to see what went wrong. Didn't make varsity as a freshman? Parents rage at the coach and beg for a spot rather than the kid finding out what skills to focus on during the year on JV. Arguably this is more common these days and what contributes to parenting books now stretching through kids in their 20's and college kids who can't talk to adults or pick a grad school on their own.

Got it. My kids are homeschooled so I've only been called crazy.

 

[FigmentSpark]

Got it. My kids are homeschooled so I've only been called crazy.

Crazy? I would call you brave! I can't get my kids to do their homework without a fight, let alone homeschool them! Kudos to you.

 

[gotomu212]

No, it's because too many parents whined that their little angels couldn't possibly be separated.

Prior to the open houses though most kids self-segregated so the older kids weren't in the Club and the younger kids stayed out of the Lab for the most part. Now with open houses all the kids are pushed into one room together during that time. Our experience was that the secured programming also got WAY more crowded during Open House time as all the secured kids were pushed together which only increase the chaos. The number of open houses seem to vary but I've always commented on our card that there were way too many and it made it hard for our son to enjoy secured programming.

 

[Hundredacre]

Prior to the open houses though most kids self-segregated so the older kids weren't in the Club and the younger kids stayed out of the Lab for the most part. Now with open houses all the kids are pushed into one room together during that time. Our experience was that the secured programming also got WAY more crowded during Open House time as all the secured kids were pushed together which only increase the chaos. The number of open houses seem to vary but I've always commented on our card that there were way too many and it made it hard for our son to enjoy secured programming.

This is exactly how I feel. I REALLY do not like the open houses. I can only assume it is a staff reduction thing. The room hosts are definitely doing more rooms now too- our last room host confirmed it. A couple of years ago our two younger kids always did exactly as you described: self- selected -- the older one to the lab, the younger to the club. Now they are almost always lumped together every time we pick them up (and drop off). I do not think the problem is necessarily different ages together but that there needs to be space for kids with different interests to go different ways.

 

[Dug720]

Prior to the open houses though most kids self-segregated so the older kids weren't in the Club and the younger kids stayed out of the Lab for the most part.

That pretty much confirms what my theory has been... It is largely the PARENTS who wanted their snowflakes together. The snowflakes would rather be with their own kind.

 

[Alicatt]

I think a lot of siblings want to be together for some of the time. Mine are 2 years apart and do ok on their own and have no.problem making friends but if given a choice they rather be together and it would make them sad not to be able to share whatever cool new thing they discovered. I wouldn't have complained if it was the old way but I certainly won't now. They seem to play well with the neighbors who range from 2 to 10 in a group and in any other kids clubs they've been in. They are used to it from school where aftercare allows the whole elementary school to be together from 4 to 11. I have never been on a cruise before, so if they really are in danger of getting run over or pushed down or hurt, I will feel very differently about the situation and change my opinion.

 

[Hundredacre]

That pretty much confirms what my theory has been... It is largely the PARENTS who wanted their snowflakes together. The snowflakes would rather be with their own kind.

In our case this is true. Our youngest kids have very different personalities (although they do really like each other), so we have no preference on the age thing. But I don't know that you can generalize. There probably are kids who want to be with their siblings or cousins or friends. Also, I suspect for some kids they might just like knowing the sibling is nearby. Especially a younger one. It isn't school. It's playtime. To me age is not very important-- it is an interest thing. There must be space to pursue different interests. Another example. We have another one who just aged out of edge. Hated it. Tried to get him to go many times on different cruises and ships. He felt like video games were dominant and he hates video games. Didn't matter that everyone was the same age.

 

[princess pooh]

This is exactly how I feel. I REALLY do not like the open houses. I can only assume it is a staff reduction thing. The room hosts are definitely doing more rooms now too- our last room host confirmed it. A couple of years ago our two younger kids always did exactly as you described: self- selected -- the older one to the lab, the younger to the club. Now they are almost always lumped together every time we pick them up (and drop off). I do not think the problem is necessarily different ages together but that there needs to be space for kids with different interests to go different ways.

I agree. The open houses were a disaster for my kids. All those kids forced together in half the amount of space! Even I was overwhelmed by the chaos and noise levels, and my kids ended up disliking the clubs. I was really unimpressed with the whole open house idea and I'm pretty sure it's done to cut staff. I know my kids would like to do another disney cruise but I'd rather find a cruise line that's a better fit for all of us.

 

[jahber]

Our first 5 or so cruises were on DCL, and my kids (three years apart) were together in the clubs and I thought it was great. We homeschool, so they were also together all day at home. The first time we sailed Carnival, *I* was worried that they wouldn't be happy being separated. Well. I was wrong. Totally wrong. They both embraced having their "own" clubs and it gave both of them something to look forward to in moving up as they grew older. They are both so excited now at 12 and 9 to check out "their" clubs on our upcoming Royal cruise. If I really look back at my hesitation to have them separated, it was all my nervousness for them. They were just fine.
That said, we sail off-season, so while the clubs on DCL were kinda crowded, they were almost never as bad as some people report they are in the summer or over holidays. And my kids are typical. I can see kiddos with special needs benefiting from a friend or family member in with them. It's tough, but I think it can work both ways.